LIGHTNOVELONLINE Chapter 105
[World of Arseria Gallery - General]
[Today, NoName is broadcasting, so I came here breaking all promises]
A park date with my current girlfriend? A movie date with crush #1? A motel date with crush #2? Forget all that, the social butterflies who gaze at NoName with unwavering devotion are the real MVPs, LOL!
– Seriously?
– Is NoName really streaming today?
– It’s Sunday morning; if you’re social, you wouldn’t be in the gallery at this hour and would still be sleeping in a motel, you fool.
└ It’s not like how I’ve posted over 10,000 times on the gallery and I’m still not a total loser, am I? Almost said that~
└ So true~ (A voice as if the author’s mother is bursting with laughter)
└ LOL!!!!!
└ LOL!!!
└ (Author) I’ll definitely sue you.
[Concept Post]
[Gallery Master’s Public Sentiment Test] [179]
The eternal cat of the gallery, the adorable Adella is the perfect gallery master – upvote!
No, I think NoName, who has a broken head and poorly scheduled streams as a newbie, is the real gallery master – downvote!
[Upvotes] 107 [Downvotes] 540
– How can the upvotes be 107 but the replies only 4?
└ That’s not rigged; I hit upvote 30 times.
└ That’s the definition of rigged, LOL!
– Have you only seen Adella through her streams?
└ Do you know how much of a nightmare it is?
– This time, NoName will become the king for sure, right?
└ If she drops Adella, it’s ten times possible.
– Since there’s no league match, we can only talk about streamers; I’d rather watch the final cup.
└ Not a single word!
└ Come on, kids…
NoName promised to clear the hidden route in World of Arseria on Sunday.
But those waiting for her weren’t just users from Wagal.
[Streamer Gallery]
[Concept Post]
[Why NoName Has What It Takes to Be a Major Player.txt] [202]
Kariri (Average Viewers 16,956) vs NoName (Average Viewers 1,634)
1. Is she a woman? Yes for both.
2. Is she good at games?
Kariri’s level is stuck in Bronze/Silver/Gold in any game, LOL. The only game she kinda manages is World of Arseria, where she’s barely in Platinum.
On the other hand, NoName? Already a top-tier gamer with 80,000 games played in League of Legends, and starting the first match in World of Arseria at the highest difficulty. She’s literally pro-gamer material, yeah!
NoName 1 win.
3. Communication
Is Kariri just annoyed these days or what? LOL, watching her makes me feel bad, so I turned it off.
But NoName has the typical Cinderella child who has to sleep by 12, but she still forces herself to stream for an hour just to communicate.
(NoName yawning.gif)
NoName 1 win.
Thus, NoName leads with 2 wins and 1 draw. Kariri – sentenced to death.
[Upvotes] 170 [Downvotes] 244
– Why are there so many upvotes for this useless post?
└ Honey Badger comes charging in first!
└ Looks like Kariri lost her initial passion in the end.
– Death sentence? LOL!
└ No backtalk from the judge, LOL!
– Did Kariri really have that many average viewers?
└ Always in the top ten.
└ It’s frustrating that she’s getting sympathy for barely streaming while riding on one good concept.
└ She did great when she was in her prime, but now, she’s just lost it all.
– NoName yawning is ridiculously cute, LOL!
└ Seriously, measure that angle; she might be a minor.
└ Can’t even say she’s cute?
[NoName’s Early Morning Stream is Live!]
But why is she playing League of Legends instead of World of Arseria?
– ????
– Why is this happening?
*
Popularity begets popularity.
[TK Pathos hosted 22,851 viewers!]
– Let’s go, let’s go!
– Let’s invade~ Let’s invade~
– 20,000 people, whoa!
– The King of Diamonds! The King of Diamonds! The King of Diamonds! The King of Diamonds!
[Selected as a Rapidly Rising Streamer. 1st place NoName 2nd place…]
– NoName! NoName! NoName! NoName! NoName! NoName! NoName! NoName! NoName!
– Mom, I want to be NoName when I grow up! Mom, I want to be NoName when I grow up! Mom, I want to be NoName when I grow up!
– Save Adella! Save Adella! Save Adella! Save Adella!
Even waterfalls and heavy rain can’t describe the whirlwind of text that rushed in.
20,000 eyes are all focused on me.
Their comments are like living protein masses, arms and hands tightening around my throat.
I almost can’t breathe.
The one thing I could utter, in lieu of my final scream, was just a short sigh.
“Ah…”
Before my mind could fully register the situation, my hands moved swiftly.
I turned off the camera broadcasting my face and hid behind the voice everyone disliked.
[Love Circulation (Cover – Kariri)]
– View Count 1.86 million · 3 years ago
– Let’s get started with the opening song~
– How nice!
– Kariring~ welcome in, Honey Badger! Kariring~ welcome in, Honey Badger! Kariring~ welcome in, Honey Badger! Kariring~ welcome in, Honey Badger!
– Listening to this feels so heartfelt; is this what they call bitter affection?
[‘Kariri’s Magic Wand’ donated 100,000 won!]
– Kariri Punch!
Donations came in, but I couldn’t respond. My mouth wouldn’t open.
Why? Why not?
[‘realm’ donated 30,000 won!]
– Here, I’ll cover the chicken costs that Paysoos tried to skip!
Thank you. I need to give some standard response.
I tried to flutter my mouth like a fish in a fish bowl, but no sound came out even when I squeezed my vocal cords.
In the overwhelming dark scenario, the only thing that came to mind was the ‘end stream’ button.
No fingers needed.
With just a glance, I could send 25,000 people into orbit. But I didn’t do that.
“Hah… Hah…”
It felt like someone had torn the skin off my chest and squeezed my heart with both hands.
At some point, the text faded from view. My sight was enveloped in darkness, and I didn’t even close my eyes.
[Witch]
[Cursed]
[Die]
[Die]
Was it the fire blossoming from my soles that burned my eyes?
The smell of meat burning pervaded the air, yet my body shivered with chills.
[‘Paysoos’ donated 300,000 won!]
– What did I do wrong? Do you like my poorly chosen gift? Of course, I didn’t forget the chicken money! Please keep up the good work with your streams!
*
I was terrified.
Everything I felt was terrifying.
I didn’t know what day it was. The only light I saw was the LED lamp just before it went out.
But I knew why the sun sets, why the wind changes direction, why the chill brings goosebumps to my skin. It was all frightening.
I already knew that Seol-ah was my mother, even before she told me.
If she weren’t my mother, then what was she doing every night, holding her breath and crying, tearing her hair out, and yet gently patting my back so I wouldn’t wake up?
It made sense in a way.
I didn’t need toys.
Because I already knew the reason behind most things.
It was obvious why a star-shaped plastic piece only fits a star-shaped hole.
Because a child’s strength couldn’t overcome the electromagnetic repulsion between plastics.
Even if I didn’t know each word’s meaning at first, it became clear as if someone hammered it into my head all at once.
Child, strength, plastic, repulsion.
I didn’t want to know things like that.
Why can’t mom be with me?
I wanted to run to her right away, bury my head in the arms of a woman much larger than me, and cry endlessly.
It’s so scary. Why is my body like this? What on earth is this memory?
But reason wouldn’t let me be.
Maybe it was because I realized that Seol-ah would only get hurt more if I kept doing this.
The young and clever Na-me had an innocent face, just like a wolf in sheep’s clothing.
I knew why my body was like this.
Because I had already had the same experience in my past life, so accepting this again shouldn’t have been hard.
But… but…
My heart couldn’t calm down.
I ‘knew’ that all commands come from the brain, yet why does my heart rebel and disobey?
Perhaps it’s not unreasonable that ancient people mistakenly thought emotions resided in the heart.
Against the command to bear and endure everything, my heart rebels, desiring to escape.
It would have been better if my heart just exploded in rage…
I was scared of becoming an adult.
If what being an adult means is to continue enduring, I don’t want to be one.
Even if I can’t understand the words, I try hard to ignore those who clearly insult me, continuing the same repetitive quest while suppressing my desire to win. That is my duty. My aim. The way of life itself.
There are days like that.
Days when I want to throw everything away and just die.
On such days, I ask the princess who lives for me. How can you be so stoic?
I could never imagine, let alone experience, the horrific deaths she’s gone through multiple times.
Being torn apart, burned alive, losing my life at the hands of my dearest friend. Yet she remains strong.
The answer I received was incredibly simple.
“Actually, you want to live too.”
Indeed. She understood, knew, and empathized with all my feelings.
She didn’t scold me for being a child, asserting herself as an adult.
The complex emotions faded away.
I declared to all the travelers of battles trying to monopolize my heart.
“Actually, I want to live too.”
All this time, I thought I was just a wooden puppet controlled by every desire.
But ‘I’ alone fought, got angry, and sometimes cried.
Yes, I am a being with desires, a human.
I want to live, eat, mix in, and have dreams.
So I used to fall asleep imagining what I would do if I escaped with the princess here, but at some point, she disappeared too.
I, focused on escaping, gradually grew exhausted, and my starved brain forgot everything but the single goal of ‘escape.’
Death is a fear engraved in instinct.
No matter how many times one dies, the fear of death never dissipates.
The tightening agony was fundamentally no different from the crowds who tied me to the stake.
“Ugh… Huhhh…. ”
-?
-?
-? What’s going on?
-???
– Crying?
“It was scary… All the days I’ve lived… I don’t know if I am going the right way… or if I did something wrong again.”
I felt extreme terror even over tiny mistakes.
I couldn’t shake off the delusion that if even one of the 20,000 audience members threw an X at me, I’d be executed right there.
I couldn’t escape from the intense and severe fear that occasionally struck me.
“People are scary… all of you… Just watching is so terrifying…”
In reality, live broadcasting wasn’t something I was suited for at all.
In this day and age, how can there be no way to earn money easily besides broadcasting?
-Paysoos, take responsibility!
– Take responsibility!
– You’re making the kid cry;;
– That was really harsh!
– Could be a one-on-one situation for sure!
– The aftermath is insane; I didn’t see that coming.
Perhaps I had fallen into a simplistic way of thinking?
[‘Paysoos’ donated 100,000 won!]
– No, uh… Are you okay? I’m sorry for my overly presumptuous behavior…
That couldn’t be true.
The reason was always known. I just hadn’t been aware of it.
In the suddenly quiet chat window, my heart also calmed somewhat.
Then, suddenly, my gaze went to the chat window above.
[Legacy of Legends – A Warm Heart (No Chat)]
[Broadcast Time – 0:48:35]
[Number of Viewers – 25,017]
No matter how often one is hurt by people’s malice, no one can spend a night in the winter without a bonfire.
Beyond the fear of facing people’s malice, I yearned deeply for their warmth.
– Don’t cry
– Clap
– T_T T_T T_T T_T T_T T_T
– Don’t cry
– Clap
– Clap
– T_T T_T T_T T_T
Look. They’re giving empty consolation as if that’s actually comforting.
But thanks to that, my head goes blank, and my heart swells.
I barely managed to hold back the laughter and gather my voice to appeal with a calm tone.
“I… Huh…”
15,000 viewers were waiting for me to finish my sentence.
In contrast, the imperial ministers, who cut me off as soon as I tried to speak were quite different.
“Humans really disgusted me.”
– Suddenly?
– They all deserve to die!
– For real, LOL!
– Why do you hate them?
– Just because, so stop asking!
– Ah, you must have been hurt by someone.
“Looking back, for a long time… I was truly alone. I never wanted to be alone… But as I lived, I found myself alone.”
– Same here T_T T_T T_T T_T T_T T_T
– I’m also watching this broadcast from a small room.
– The 20,000 League losers are suddenly in tears ㅜㅜ
– So you’ve just been gaming for 7 years…?
– You couldn’t do that without being a recluse.
– It’s a bit pitiful…
– I once got bullied for 3 years and locked myself in my room; I understand.
“The reason I started broadcasting. It’s pretty obvious, but it was because I needed money.”
That was certainly how it began.
“But the warmth from all of you felt nice. From the ridiculous expressions on your faces when I taught you magic, to the cheers when I mastered new spells, to the warm hearts that felt sorry for Adella…”
Like a girl who couldn’t stop striking a match, I kept using magic to keep feeling that warmth.
“So I decided to acknowledge something. I’ll be honest. I love getting attention. Time spent together makes me happy. I want to meet those who lift up the worthless me.”
In the end, the reason for making money was just a side note.
I liked how people focused on every line, action, and habit of mine.
But I always prepared excuses because I felt like I’d soon crumble if I didn’t stick to some reason.
[The Korea Magic Corporation has sent an invoice to ■■■. Please remit by the due date.
• Purpose: Wand Magic Writing for Intermediate Circle (5) – Alchemist
• Total Amount: 12,385,021 won
• Due Date: 2051/06/25
For inquiries about the invoice, please contact the billing company. +More]
“Do you see? I wanted to see you for a long time, so I intentionally went into debt to use magic. Ten million, no, now twenty million. I’ll have to stream to pay it back.”
-????
– Suddenly the story’s getting weird?
– This is seriously unhinged, LOL!
– Is she even human?!!! LOL!
“What kind of magic do you have to use to accumulate that much?”
“I won’t stop streaming until all my debts are paid. I’ll exploit and take advantage of your time and money.”
Evil troll NoName is just that kind of person. A selfish individual who knows nothing but herself.
“So please continue to use me as you wish. Whether you make me your entertainment or live vicariously through me, it’s all good… I just want you to stay with me until the end.”
[‘Da-yeon, Ultra High Performance Cute AI’ donated 30,000 won!]
– Let’s change the title to something more fitting and earn loads of dough! LOL
Right. If the game I’m playing changes, I should also change the title.
It didn’t take long to settle on a title.
Just be honest.
[NoName]
[World of Arseria – Streaming to Earn Mana]
[Broadcast Time – 0:56:35]
[Number of Viewers – 25,817]