I can't move on

Leo, you fucking scumbag.

Bitch ass.

I quickly held Ryder by his waist and I sat down on the floor.

"Sorry, I couldn't find it in the dark," I said.

"Why the fuck are you under the desk?"

I slowly took Ryder off my dick.

"I'm sorry, baby." I mumbled in his ear and handed him all of his clothes I could find in an arms distance.

I grabbed my pants and boxers and quickly slipped them on.

I gave Ryder a look and he smiled at me.

"Don't look at me like that," he mumbled.

"It was dark as fuck, dude; I dropped my phone and I couldn't find it," I lied.

"Is that why you didn't answer my calls? Okay whatever. I fucking ran into Matteo on my way over here, like he was fucking stalking me or something. According to the driver, he was also at Isabella's school," Leo said as I heard him grab some stuff.

I looked at Ryder.

He was in my button up and I smiled. "Am I going to wear your band tee?"

He nodded.

I put it on over my head.

I sat up and sat down in my chair.

"You look like a little boy," Ryder said silently and I rolled my eyes.

"Did you notice anything weird today?"

I shook my head. "No, I don't think so, besides the whole power outage thing, but that was a circuit thing, I think."

I fixed my pants, trying to make my obvious boner less obvious.

"This fucking shit. He needs to learn how to fucking stop. Just fucking stop. I understand you are a…"

"Leo," I said, cutting him off.

"What?"

I pulled Ryder up from under the desk with my hands on his hip.

I could not let him know.

Not now.

"Oh, sorry, was I interrupting something?" He asked and I nodded.

"We can talk about it later," I said and Leo nodded.

"Bye boss."

"Bye."

I pulled Ryder on top of my lap and kissed his neck.

"Aren't you so cute?"

"Get off me," he said, laughing.

I kissed him one more time and he stood up.

"Bring a chair over here and do your knitting over here," I said and he nodded.

My PC was back on and I typed in my password.

The workday was almost over, but I still had some stuff to do.

Some stuff to keep Matteo at bay until I have a plan in action.

"Your legs okay?" I asked with a smile.

He gave me this look and then he sat down.

Continuing the sweater that he was making for me.

"They're fine," he said sheepishly. "How about you?"

He kicked me with his leg.

"You didn't even come."

I laughed. "It's normal."

"Is it?" 

"You got me pretty close if that makes you feel better. It's been a long time," I said, making sure his broken leg was okay because he decided to kick me with it.

"Well, I guess that gives me something to look forward to," he said without looking up from his knitting.

"So are you saying, well, do it again?"

"Now I never said that," he said, not looking up at me.

I laughed and went back to my computer. 

To: [email protected]

Leo,

I am emailing you mainly because I don't know where my phone is. But I think Isabella should stay home from school tomorrow and I also need you and Ryder at home in my sight as well. I don't know what he said to you or what his obsession with you is, but I need you guys close.

Dom.

I clicked send and then closed Gmail.

I need a game, plan. 

Game plan.

Game plan.

I opened back up Gmail.

To: [email protected]

Leo,

I know I just emailed you, but I have a plan. I don't know when to in act but it has to be in the next few days. I know Matteo and all the shit he has, and I don't know what he is going to do next but it is going to involve either you or Ryder. I don't think he would take Isabella, but its going to be with you or him. I don't know if its going to a drive by or what but I think kidnapping is extremely unlikely. He would never do that; he thinks before doing and he would have to time everything perfectly to do that. Which he will not do. 

I know you fucking hate when I do this, but I am going to have to put some more bodyguards near you. You are strong enough to take down anybody but I still want to be sure. I need more bodyguards on all three of you. I also have a plan for surveillance—to set up eyes where Matteo has eyes. I can't risk anything at the moment. Especially you guys. 

Sorry for the long email, but also setting up a trap. I am going to use you as bait. Sorry, not sorry. You should have told me what Matteo said to you. Joking. I think that would be a good time to attack and abush. If you have any better ideas, let me know. I'm also going to cut off resources starting tomorrow. 

Dom 

Why?

I truly do not understand. 

This is exhausting me. 

Maybe I should ask Ryder if he saw anything.

I sighed.

I don't want to do that to him.

I feel bad.

"Ryder."

"Yes?"

I turned around in my chair. "Did you see anything at your sister's track meet?"

"I saw people running," he joked.

"Besides that," I said, pushing him.

"Uh, I don't think... uh there was this guy, but I think he was just watching his kid run," Ryder said and I nodded.

"Okay, let me know if you see anything weird." he nodded.

I turned back around and continued to check emails and trade routes.

"Dominic, is being a CEO hard?"

"Yeah, kind of. A lot of competition and that gets really annoying."

"I."

He stopped.

"I don't think I have ever heard of a CEO where his competition is trying to kill his loved ones."

I felt myself freeze.

"How many CEOs have you met?" I said not looking at him. 

I couldn't look at him.

Not while I am lying to him.

I couldn't.

He didn't respond.

"When you are extremely successful, it's a dog-eat-dog world," I explained.

"Hmh."

I'm sorry.

The day went by slowly.

And the time finally hit 5 pm.

Ryder had been walking around the room knitting and listening to music on my speakers.

I turned off my PC as he looked at different photos again.

"Do you have any larger photos of you in your football uniform?"

I stood up.

"Yeah, I also have some in my basketball one as well."

"You played basketball?"

"Yep, I played in college too; I got a full ride," I said and he smiled.

"Not surprised, you are." He looked me up and down. "Huge."

Chills.

I itched my stomach as my dick started to twitch.

Fuck.

I shouldn't.

I can't be acting like this. 

His looks had me acting like this.

Let alone his body.

"Haha yeah." I felt awkward getting horny standing there.

"Why did you stop playing?" he asked.

I went back to my desk to get whatever I needed and found my stupid ass fucking phone that was on the floor.

"I don't know; I kind of hated it. I was good, good enough to get a scholarship, but it wasn't really my thing, you know?"

"I feel that; what was your thing?" He asked, putting his knitting in his bag and grabbing two picture frames. "I hope you don't mind."

"Not at all; take as many as you want. Uh, I really wanted to be a swimmer, but I actually never learned," I said.

"Bitch, you are 6'5; you are the height of the deep end; just stand up," Ryder said and the two of us started laughing.

I held the door open for him. "I know it's embarrassing. But my dad crushed that dream early and thankfully so because he got a D1 basketball payer out of it."

"Don't you have a pool?"

"I do," I said. "Bitch, why if you can't swim?"

I shrugged.

We got in the elevator.

"Rich people shit, I don't know; Leo wanted it and then doesn't fucking use it," I said.

He laughed as I clicked the button.

I smacked his ass as he stood in front of me.

He whipped around really fast and pointed at me.

I put my hands up and started laughing.

The elevator door opened and people on the floor below us started to fill into the elevator.

I grabbed Ryder's waist and brought him closer to me.

He put his hands on my chest and I smiled at him.

"Don't think you got out of my lecture," he mumbled and I held him with a smile. 

"Good afternoon, sir. Are you going home at 5 today?" Someone asked and I nodded.

"Yeah, gotta get home," I said.

"To the misses?"

I smiled. "He's right here."

Ryder hit me.

The guy nodded. "That's nice."

The elevator unloaded and Ryder and I got into my car.

We drove in silence with Ryder on his phone.

"You can connect to the radio if you want," I said and he nodded.

He plugged in his phone and started to play his music through car play.

The car ride felt awkward.

There was music, but we weren't talking so it felt like silence. 

We didn't say anything and I felt bad for lying to him.

I think this is the most remorse and guilt I have felt for the whole mafia thing.

I pulled into the garage and parked.

I feel fucking awful.

Ryder got out without saying anything and I grabbed all of my shit.

"You hungry?" I said, following him. "Nah, not really."

Oh.

"Well, I... there are leftovers in the fridge if you want any," I said.

"Okay," he mumbled and walked up the stairs.

"I'll see you in a minute; I need to talk to Leo," he nodded.

I pushed open my office door.

I smiled.

Leo and Isabella were passed out on the couch.

Leo was on the floor with his head on the couch and Isabella was sleeping on the couch. 

I pulled out my phone and took a picture.

I put my stuff down and walked over. 

"Babycakes," I whispered in Isabella's ear as I shook her gently.

I watched as her eyes slightly opened.

"What Daddy?"

Awe, my baby girl.

"Go sleep in your own bed if you are tired, not in here; you are going to hurt your back," I said and she slowly blinked.

She nodded and rubbed her eyes.

"Where's ryder?"

I smiled. 

"He's in my room; I think he is working on knitting," I said and she nodded.

"Make sure you shower before you sleep," I said, rubbing her back, and she nodded.

I sat down on the couch and heard the door shut.

"Get up, princess," I mumbled, stroking Leo's hair.

Leo stirred lightly. "Matteo."

WHO?

Leo's eyes opened and we made eye contact.

He froze.

"Who?" I asked and he gave me this thousand-yard stare.

"Don't tell me you are a traitor."

"Not in a million years. I was just reading your emails before I went to sleep and I was thinking about them," he said and I watched as his eyes trailed off.

Yeah right. This bitch never read my fucking emails.

I raised my eyebrow.

"Okay, I didn't read your emails but I swear to God on my life I am not betraying you. I would genuinely never fucking do that. I'll…I…I will tell you tomorrow," he said.

"Why tommrow?"

"Because I don't feel like it; its a long story and I am too tired for all of your judgment right now. It is not me betraying you. Never dude," he said.

"Promise."

"Pinky swear," he said, putting his finger up.

We locked pinkies and I nodded.

"Anyway, you sleep well, sleeping beauty?"

"No, my back hurts."

"Of course it does." I got up and walked over to my computer. "I know you didn't read my emails so let me show you them."

Leo sat down on the couch.

"Bring it over here, please," he said in a baby voice and I sighed.

I grabbed my laptop and sat down next to him on the couch.

"Damn long as email."

"I know, I couldn't find my phone. The first email says that Isabella should stay home from school tomorrow and I want you and Ryder here as well. I don't want any of you out of my sight."

Leo raised his eyebrows at me. "Okay, control freak. She has three tests tomorrow; she will not miss those even if you bribed her."

Fuck.

"Okay, what about the day after?"

"I think she should be good."

"Okay, I will talk to her about it, and in the meantime, I want you to pick her up tomorrow," I said. 

"Okay, I will do that. What about the other email?'

Should I tell him that I was going to use him as bait?

Probably not. "I'll tell you tomorrow," I said with a sheepish smile.

He rolled his eyes.

"That's what you get," I said, pointing at him.

"I know, I am just mad you played me at my own game," he said, yawning. 

I yawned too.

"Stop spreading your yawn to me," I said, yawning again and flipping him off.

"Sorry, okay, why don't we plan this all after I get back from taking Isabella to school, okay?" Leo said and I nodded.

"I am going to hold it to you," I said.

"Same, you better not sleep in."

I stood up. "I do not sleep in."

"You sleep in literally every single day. If you are not up when I get back, I will shake you out of bed," he said.

I laughed as we walked toward my office door.

I opened the door for him and he nodded.

We walked up the stairs together. 

"Goodnight, dude, sleep well," I said and he nodded, walking to his room. "Leo."

He turned around.

"One of these days we need to use the pool," I said.

He raised his eyebrows. "You can't swim."

"I want to learn," I said with a swim.

And Leo smiled back at me. "Finally. Good night."

I pushed open my door.

I sighed.

So much for continuing our freak session.

"What are you guys doing?" I asked, laughing.

Isabella was in my spot with a face mask on her face.

Ryder smiled at her, him also with the same face mask on and his hair pushed back with this weird fluffy headband.

"Talking," Isabella said as she moved onto her stomach.

I took off my blazer. "About what? Or I can't know."

"You can't know Daddy," Ryder said and I nodded.

Isabella got closer to Ryder as she whispered something to Ryder.

He laughed. "That's my favorite part," I heard him say.

I took off the weird shirt Ryder had me wearing.

I traded my pants out for shorts.

"Favorite part of what?" I said, walking over to the bed.

I stood in front of it as the two of them laughed.

They didn't say anything.

I walked over to my side of the bed. "Baby cakes move over; I want to get in bed too."

She slightly moved over as I got under the covers.

She and Ryder were both on top of them as Ryder knitted like crazy.

And I laid my head back on the headboard as I heard the two of them talking.

My brain was tuning things out as I tried to stay awake.

I just want to cuddle Ryder.

I rubbed Isabellas back.

I love you, sugar plum, but please.

I just want to cuddle Ryder.

Ryder.

I wonder what Ryder thinks about me.

I wonder if he even wants to cuddle me. 

He shows so many emotions but at the same time he is so in different. I don't really know.

It's also been a little awkward since the whole thing in the office.

But I just want to be all over him and I don't even know if he feels the same.

Like I know I like him.

If all of my actions didn't solidify that already, that sex sure did, and the way his whole demeanor changed sure did.

But I feel like he is doing this because he has to.

Because I am paying for all of this stuff for him.

I don't think it is real love he feels.

He just sees me as a wallet.

I want to believe that he is better than that but I.

There's a reason I have always been so standoffish.

I don't like letting people in but he came in.

I want him to love me; I want to believe that he is better than that, better than anyone I have ever met.

But I am not a mind reader and his standoffishness and indifference, and I don't know if that's love.

I really don't fucking know and it frustrates me so fucking much.

Even what he feels or how he feels, I know how I feel.

And I am praying he doesn't end up like anyone.

Praying he doesn't end up like.

Like.

Lova.

Praying.

I want him.

I want him to be mine forever.

Mine forever.

Maybe that's selfish.

"You okay, dad?"

I looked down at my girl. I blinked. "Yeah, baby cakes, I am okay... just tired."

I blinked again.

"Okay, Dad, I will let you guys sleep; I will see you when I get back from school," she said and I nodded.

I hugged her and kissed her head.

She got off of the bed.

"Bye, Ryder," she said, waving, and Ryder waved to her.

"Can you turn off the light, honey?"

She nodded, turning off the light and shutting the door.

Everything will be fine if I just sleep.

It always is.

I felt Ryder's cold feet hit me.

"You take the mask and headband off?"

"Yep."

He laid his head on my chest and I rubbed his shoulders.

"I'll see you in the morning, mommy."

"Good night."

It will all be okay.

Everything will be okay.

I took a deep breath.

Everything will be okay.