LIGHTNOVELONLINE Chapter 9
While the Headmistress was left speechless, moved by my grand plan,
I placed the report I had prepared in front of her.
“This is… what?”
“This is a report on exploring future avenues for the long-term financial surplus and sustainability of Grandis Academy.”
“Just say it’s a way to receive bribery.”
“Then I will say it like that.”
Normally, this should be well-packaged according to the rules, but after seeing how administrative faculty members title their papers, I realized the Headmistress truly doesn’t understand human emotions.
Anyway.
“If you look at the current report, you’ll see that among our faculty at Grandis Academy, very few take bribes. The few who do barely have the nerve to call it bribery.”
“We’ve been trying to operate as transparently as possible.”
“Indeed, that’s the Headmistress for you.”
“It’s chilling to hear the Finance Director say that. Speak honestly without sugar-coating.”
“Indeed, that’s the Headmistress for you.”
“………..”
The Headmistress looked at me with narrowed eyes, but I’m sincere about this. For an organization of this scale, no matter how unique an academy is, to be this clean? It’s close to a miracle.
Of course, it’s not because Grandis Academy takes pride in being the best in the kingdom or because the faculty members are all incorruptible.
It’s simply because the salaries are ridiculously high.
‘There’s no reason to take bribes at all.’
When you barely work, you earn five times more than the industry standard, so why would you take bribes?
Is human greed endless? That’s true too. And that’s where the few advantages of the Headmistress come into play.
It’s because she’s the absolute number one in the academy.
‘According to past reports on bribery, since the establishment of the academy, the Headmistress has fired anyone involved in bribery without hesitation.’
Want to take a big gamble and risk being fired? Sorry, but this world isn’t a rule of law country.
The Headmistress is someone that even kings cannot treat lightly, a celebrity with immense social influence, respected for her upright character.
Unlike countries where you can pay a small fine and get away with it, if you get fired due to bribery, all those bribes will naturally be seized. Where would you hide them? The moment you’re fired, the royal court is going to throw you in jail and repeat all sorts of interrogations, just to avoid irking her.
And if you don’t spill the beans quickly, you might not leave unscathed; even if you give up and confess, you’ll lose not just the bribes, but all your assets, becoming completely destitute. Your reputation will go down the drain too.
This isn’t a prediction—it’s something that actually happened. There were many bribery incidents in the early days of the academy, but with such measures, everything quieted down.
In short, there’s no point in taking bribes when you’re not earning less money, especially given the huge risks if you get caught.
As a result, noble families and merchants eventually gave up trying to bribe Grandis Academy. They were aware it could backfire on their own fiefdoms.
‘Maybe that’s why Lisha couldn’t grasp my bribery request at once.’
The Headmistress’s closest aide, who never forgives bribery, asking for bribes? That must have seemed absurd.
I confidently believed that Lisha and Claudia from the Duke’s family likely saw me as either a madman or a fool.
Here I was, a young guy suddenly promoted to Finance Director in the Headmistress’s eyes, and they must think I’m getting carried away with my position.
And that’s precisely what I wanted.
“I will throw in a few bribes to handle this incompetent fool however I like.”
“What do you think bribery is, Headmistress?”
“…? It’s a source of harm that eats away at the organization.”
“Incorrect. Bribery is an art of relationships.”
“……… Has the Finance Director been overwhelmed with work? Maybe you should take a vacation.”
“I’m perfectly fine, Headmistress.”
“Those who are really mentally ill often believe they’re normal. Don’t worry; I won’t give up until the Finance Director is cured!”
Should I be amazed by the Headmistress’s loyalty or should I slap that face that’s beginning to see me as a lunatic?
Choosing the latter would likely break my fingers, so I decided to go with the former.
While doing my best to stop the Headmistress from dragging me to the infirmary, I continued.
“Headmistress, let’s say you received bribes from nobles A and B.”
“Yes.”
“Bribes aren’t given for free, right? If you’ve received something, then you should be expected to fulfill the requests of A and B. That way, you can maintain the relationship and keep receiving bribes.”
“That’s… right.”
“But what if A wants C, and B also wants C?”
“Eh?”
“There’s no way to split C in half. What would you do, Headmistress?”
“…… I wouldn’t take bribes, but if I did, I would give it to the one who offered more.”
“Correct. However, that will only strengthen your relationship with A and worsen it with B, and B might stop offering bribes. After all, they’re giving bribes for something they want, and if they can’t achieve that, why would they continue?”
“What are you trying to say? If you don’t summarize it in three lines, you really will be sent to the infirmary.”
“The real answer is to prevent such situations from occurring in the first place.”
Bribery typically has a clear purpose, whether it’s in exchange for passing or manipulating scores—there’s something they ultimately desire.
Of course, there may be minor requests along the way, but the ultimate goal remains. So how do we handle that?
By only accepting bribes from those whose ultimate goals do not overlap.
“What does that mean…?”
“It means that the very situation where A and B both want C is fundamentally wrong.”
Naturally, minor requests can overlap. For example, if one requests a small favor on cheating, even if it’s declined, it doesn’t mean bribery will end. Such trivial matters don’t warrant the sunk cost of giving up bribery.
But if you reject the fundamental reason for bribery, that is, the ultimate goal, then the bribes will stop.
This is precisely what needs to be prevented: understanding the psychology of those who give bribes and appropriately managing relationships.
Thus, bribery is an art of relationships.
“You sound like someone who’s received a lot of bribes.”
“It’s just a feeling. I’m an orphan, you see.”
“Ugh…”
Ah, the universal orphan theory. No matter what suspicions the other may hold, if I throw in a self-deprecating remark first, it leaves them speechless.
Anyway, the reason I kept rambling about something the Headmistress doesn’t particularly like—bribery—is one.
“So please allow me to receive righteous bribes.”
“Do you not think it sounds a bit ridiculous, saying that yourself?”
“That is true, but given our current situation…”
“… Ugh.”
When you think about it, it’s all the Headmistress’s fault. If she had managed finances properly, the situation wouldn’t have reached a point where bribery was necessary.
And, more importantly.
“I hate to bring this up, but…”
“………?”
“At least bribery is much more profitable and stable than gift trading.”
“Choke.”
Ah, the Headmistress fainted. She didn’t last long, but hurry and wake up!
As I patted the Headmistress’s shoulder, which was sprawled out like a corpse and tears streaming down her face, her expression seemed incredibly complex.
Regret over how things turned out, while resolved not to cut back on spending to maintain the quality of education, guilt over needing to accept the bribes she had long denied.
Also.
Bribes and budgets.
One big step forward.
“I’ll allow it…”
“Headmistress.”
“I’m sorry, Finance Director. If I had managed finances properly, you wouldn’t have to bear the stigma of accepting bribes…”
If that were the case, I might not have even become Finance Director to begin with.
Of course, since I had some sense, I would refrain from saying that out loud.
“I trust you, Finance Director! I truly believe you will revive this academy! Feel free to accept bribes as you see fit. I’ll definitely support you!”
What the Headmistress said, after taking a real step forward, felt like a genuine confession.
Regardless of the potential backlash from faculty members once I start receiving countless bribes, she would support me until the end.
On the surface, it seemed like a simple statement, but given that it came from someone who had been adamantly against bribery until now, it felt all the more impactful.
So.
“What are you talking about all of a sudden?”
“… Huh? That is, the Finance Director is now going to receive all sorts of bribes.”
“Didn’t I just mention that? Bribery is an art of relationships. So suddenly… with what?”
Ah.
Could it be?
“Do you think I’m hosting the Grand Prizing Bribery Competition or something?”
“… Huh?”
“Headmistress, bribes aren’t given just because you ask for them. They require persuasion and exchanges of interests; the places to receive bribes without overlapping ultimate goals are few.”
“So…?”
“I’m anticipating about three places. Since I’ve already agreed to receive from Lady Lisha, that leaves two more.”
“B-but you could get caught! If someone tracks the suspicious money flow….”
“… Headmistress, what is my position?”
“Ah.”
To manage the academy’s finances? That’s me.
To prepare the academy’s ledgers? That’s me.
To grasp the entirety of money flowing through the academy? That’s also me.
To put it bluntly, if I hadn’t reported it, the Headmistress wouldn’t even have known I was taking bribes. After all, I’m the one writing and managing the ledger.
“………..”
This time, when the Headmistress sank with a different kind of defeat, her ears turning red and her face pressed against the table, I composed my voice.
“I trust you, Finance Director!”
“Enough already.”
“I believe you will truly revive this academy!”
“Please, stop.”
“I will protect you, Finance Director, no matter what!”
“Stooop!!!”
Ah, this is fun.
Indeed, this is how you relieve work stress.
*
The Headmistress clenched her fists and almost hit my chest, but I managed to escape just in time.
The injury itself isn’t the problem, but having to go to the infirmary is.
‘I’d rather quit than go to that crazy place.’
How can such a woman hold the position of Medical Director? Regardless of skill, how could they keep someone whose character is so patently broken?
Yet, apart from character, she was worth emulating in workplace tactics. Even though she was younger than me, she had managed overwhelming madness, so no one could say a thing.
Could I also express my madness as Finance Director? What could that be? Blow the budget?
‘No way, the office staff will come for my head.’
At this moment, being Rank 1 is a bit disheartening. If they had just dropped me into the game at a modest Rank 8, it would have been a bit better.
With the protective gear of universal orphan theory, the position of Finance Director, and being the Headmistress’s closest aide, I still felt a bit unsatisfied.
Lost in such idle thoughts, I quickly arrived at my destination within the expansive academy.
‘Waiting dormitory for successful candidates.’
The results of the entrance exam were finally out. I guess the exam director was impressed by my eloquence—things moved quickly.
Later, a retake exam will take place, serving as a type of last chance, but for now, successful candidates could relax in this space.
Both of the remaining potential bribers were likely right here, as they weren’t from noble families like Claudia, who had her own exclusive dormitory.
“This is Grandis Academy…!! I really passed!!”
“Want to do a tour around? The upperclassmen said there were lots of good restaurants in the pamphlet.”
“Can’t we get into the central library yet? Guess we’ll have to wait for the entrance ceremony.”
“Right, Mom! I passed!”
The waiting dormitory for successful candidates was filled with prospective students wearing smiles. Some were overwhelmed with joy, others looking around, and even some already making progress or contacting their parents via magic tools.
They had every reason to be proud. While graduating from Grandis Academy doesn’t guarantee a rosy life, it definitely positions you far better than others.
Plus, there’s the Grandis Cartel—graduates of Grandis Academy are known to help each other get jobs in various establishments. You’ve got a decent shot at getting a role as a clerk even in a rural fiefdom with just that diploma.
‘I used to be like that too.’
That was several years ago. Now in a high position, reflecting on my previous self made me smirk slightly.
I truly had no clue as a naive youngling back then.
‘I should have invested in that southern salt mine back then.’
I never expected that the salt mine, which I only heard rumors about, would skyrocket within a year.
Had I invested, I could have lived the good life—what a pity. Should I go in now? The gift trading that the Headmistress wasted two years’ worth of budget was directly related to that salt mine.
Reflecting on the skyrocketing fortunes over the past few years and today’s plummeting market makes me think that even if I had invested back then, I likely would have held on, convinced it would rise again. Well, that’s better than now.
“Wait, you need your acceptance letter to enter the dormitory…”
“Hey, you crazy guy! Bow your head quickly! A-Adams Finance Director! I’m truly sorry! This idiot made a mistake because he’s still new!”
“F-Finance Director!? I’ve committed a grave sin!”
“Got caught slipping. Who’s in charge of the guards here? If it’s the 3rd guard, isn’t it Russell?”
“I’m truly sorry! Please, just a reprimand!”
“Sorry!”
“It’s a joke. You’ve done your job. Just remember to recognize at least the Medical Director or the exam director’s faces. If you mess with them, you know what’s going to happen, right?”
“I’ll remember!!!”
“Good, take care.”
At the very least, I could now give this kind of advice that becomes a learning experience.
The soldier on duty, whose face turned pale, seemed relieved to have barely survived, but judging by his senior’s expression, it was clear this wouldn’t just pass quietly.
I gave a light pat on the shoulder as a sign of sympathy before stepping into the dormitory. Though the guards were particularly loud, it didn’t pose much of a problem.
Unless it was the Medical Director or the exam supervisor, there shouldn’t be a case where an ordinary student crossed paths with the Finance Director. It’d only be a matter of greeting faces as we passed.
Though the atmosphere in the dormitory reflected a more rigid patrol from the guards following the disruption, anyway.
Since I knew which dormitory held my target, I headed straight there───
“Adam Keynes Finance Director, right?”
“Huh?”
“I found you.”
Suddenly, someone in the crowd grabbed my garment.
The person was wearing a hood deep enough to obscure their face. From the voice, it seemed to be a woman, but beyond that, there was nothing to speculate the identity.
If they were faculty, they would’ve been donned in their typical uniforms or badges, but this was not the case.
‘Wait, someone who ought to know my face, a newly accepted candidate, and can insult me yet is not a faculty? The remaining possibility is only one.’
With some skepticism, while passing through the crowd, I quietly lowered my head and whispered to the hooded figure.
“The Finance Director of Grandis Academy pays his respects to Her Highness, Princess Beatrice.”
“You’re quick on the uptake.”
Amatrius Delphia Beatrice.
Daughter of the Delphia Kingdom next door, ostensibly studying abroad at Grandis Academy, but effectively a hostage and a mid-boss in the Dark Kingdom Academy part. A magician, but one who cannot control her magic, making her a half-being regarded with contempt.
She appeared as an enemy but eventually comes to redeem herself and join the protagonist… or at least, whether she’s a hostage or a former boss in the original story? That’s none of my concern.
The only part I need to focus on is one.
‘Demolisher!’
Being a magician unable to control her own magic means.
She has destroyed countless classrooms and practice rooms.
In the game, it was a brief description and nothing more, but for me now, it was quite different.
“… Finance Director? Your gaze seems a bit scary.”
“I’m just on guard in the surroundings. For now, please let’s move.”
“Right.”
I was now facing the biggest villain of the Finance Director’s life.