Chapter 422
Excuses, excuses, excuses.
It was all an excuse.
No matter what I thought, in the end, it was an excuse for postponing the meeting.
Reasons… Yeah, I had some reasons I was considering.
Yuuki was a kid connected to me by blood, and he was also related to Kosuzu.
While I was running away, someone from Yamashita’s side ended up dead.
So, I thought that once I got involved, it would never end.
Plus, I was now living a life far from ordinary.
But all those reasons couldn’t be excuses anymore at the point where we ended up meeting like this. It meant we were this close to each other.
“Koto Ne?”
Not just Mako, but Harumi, who was talking with Mako, stood up as she called my name.
“It’s you, Koto Ne!”
And the way Harumi came towards me with a big smile looked just like a kid who ran into a long-lost friend.
Doesn’t she think it’s strange?
Isn’t she feeling bad that I didn’t contact her in the meantime?
But there was no such expression on Harumi’s face at all.
…
Ah, I see.
It was the same when I was little. Friends from elementary school that were really close could just fall out of touch when we entered middle school.
Later, years later, we might reconnect through friends or run into each other in the same neighborhood.
“……”
So, while feeling a bit bewildered, I also felt a little scared.
I valued Harumi and Yuuki. Mako too.
So did they all want to consider me precious as well?
After running away, I thought about that for a long time.
If I couldn’t get close to anyone and just lived my life running away, at least I wanted to be a precious existence in the memories of people who remembered me. If I was someone who couldn’t help but live like that.
But maybe I was just a fleeting memory, a “classmate who used to be close when we were kids.”
Isn’t it rare for someone to remember all their friends from elementary school? Once you become an adult, those memories almost completely fade away. Even if you meet again, there’s a high chance you won’t recognize each other.
After everything was over, I thought I would go to meet them. I wanted to believe that in a more peaceful world, we would meet peacefully again and become friends—
Did I perhaps hope that Harumi, Yuuki, and Mako would still remember me until then, hurting like they had lost something precious?
“……”
No matter how much the situation warranted it, I shouldn’t be the one thinking that first without even contacting them.
Shouldn’t I rather be grateful for their reaction like this?
So I couldn’t say anything. I didn’t know how to express these complicated feelings.
If the precious beings who remained in my memory only thought of me as just an ordinary, one of many friends—
Before I knew it, Harumi had come over and hugged me tightly. Old childhood memories flooded back. Harumi loved hugging friends like this.
Even back then, there was quite a size difference between us, but it felt like that gap had widened even more now. I had grown a lot compared to back then too.
But I still remember that hug clearly.
It was a different kind of hug from when Kagami hugged me; it was a little stronger. A hug that didn’t bother to control strength, expressing all of Harumi’s feelings honestly.
Her face was all smiles.
I… I don’t really know how I feel.
I’m happy and glad, but— at the same time, I felt a strange feeling that was the complete opposite of that.
Meeting these kids here was a bad idea.
This school was dangerous. There had even been ‘victims’ among the students. While the chances were low given the sheer number of students randomly selected, there was still a distinct possibility of getting caught up in something.
It’s strange. I thought I had come to a conclusion in my mind just a while ago, but upon seeing these three, those feelings made me wonder if bringing other friends to this school was the wrong choice.
I was—
“Do you know them?”
It wasn’t until I heard Yuka’s somewhat surprised voice that I was able to break that thought. In fact, it was more like I had been interrupted.
“Yeah, friends from elementary school.”
“Wow… ”
Yuka looked a little awkward, like she didn’t know what to say in this situation.
“Koto Ne?”
Koko tugged on my sleeve next to me.
It was then that Mako and Harumi’s gaze turned toward Koko.
“…Koto Ne?”
How many times have I heard the name Koto Ne?
Well, I did ask to be called by that name first.
“Um… who’s this? She looks like Koto Ne.”
Mako asked cautiously, and I glanced at Koko.
Then I looked back at Mako and said, “She’s my twin.”
“You have a twin sister?”
Harumi’s eyes widened in surprise as she asked.
“……”
An uneasy feeling set in. This was contradictory as well. Not knowing about the existence of a twin sister was a blemish on Kagami at this point. It meant my mother didn’t even know about the existence of her own daughter.
No matter what I say in front of Harumi, who had seen me since I was very young, it would sound strange.
“R-right…”
But Mako clapped her hands as if she sensed my expression and said,
We all felt somewhat awkward towards each other.
I… didn’t want this. I wanted to see my friends with a pure smile, saying “Long time no see!”
But I might have missed the timing to exuberantly greet them like Mako and Harumi did because we met so suddenly.
These three, without a doubt, lived ordinary lives afterward.
Harumi, Yuuki, and Mako, while their families might not be completely ordinary, still lived normal lives without getting caught up in it.
That’s why I planned to visit afterward. Did I underestimate things too much?
“U-uh?”
Noticing the strange gazes directed towards her, Koko tilted her head.
“Um.”
Harumi seemed to ponder for a moment and then cupped Koko’s cheeks with her hands.
“Wow?”
“Oh. So squishy.”
Harumi laughed.
What can I say, it felt like there was a pressure not to ask any further, and I was somewhat relieved.
Still, I felt a little flustered and a bit anxious.
“No, really cute!”
Seeing Koko’s innocent expression, Harumi said with a serious face.
“And Yuuki, too— Ah.”
Harumi turned her gaze toward Yuuki and saw that he wasn’t looking in this direction at all, making a peculiar expression as if it was vaguely awkward.
“Um, hey.”
If it was the Harumi I knew, she wouldn’t have shown such an expression, but she looked a little taken aback as she pondered for a moment.
Could something have happened in the meantime?
Before I left, Yuuki was starting to realize what family he belonged to. He understood that his father did different things than other kids’ fathers.
He was still friends with Harumi and getting close to Mako, though.
“……”
After a moment’s deliberation, I cautiously approached Yuuki.
“Yuuki.”
As I got closer to where he was seated and called his name, Yuuki finally looked my way.
But his expression was a bit cold.
“……”
He didn’t say anything.
After a brief moment of thought, I opened my mouth again.
“Hey, it’s been a while.”
When I said that with an awkward expression,
“We’re meeting for the first time today, right?”
Yuuki asked.
I fell silent.
Various thoughts rushed through my mind. Should I apologize for disappearing without saying anything? Or for not contacting him?
Honestly, I don’t really know how to say it.
Did he really forget about me? No, it can’t be. If he treated me like a stranger, his approach would be warmer than this.
Rather, he must be like this because he knows me well.
Yuuki liked Kagami. He looked like his mother. He even mistook Kagami for his mother when he first saw her.
Being close friends and cousins, they always stuck together with Harumi for years, even coming to play at our somewhat cramped house regularly before I ran away.
“I am…”
I was about to say something—
Before I knew it, Koko was standing next to me.
Koko tilted her head and looked between me and Yuuki. As if she were curious about why the atmosphere was like this.
Yuuki, while maintaining a cold attitude toward me, still seemed surprised when Koko came over and stared like that.
The twin with an identical appearance as mine.
But she didn’t know anything about what was between us; she was just a pure child.
“Uh?”
Koko looked at Yuuki again, then said, “Koko,” pointing to herself.
“I’m Koko.”
“Uh, okay.”
Yuuki nodded without realizing it.
I let out a small sigh.
For now, thanks to Koko, the atmosphere passed by awkwardly, but—
Yuuki’s mood was still cold. There was an oddness with Harumi too. Both of them seemed to be thinking a lot about me suddenly appearing after vanishing.
Could we become close again?
I couldn’t say I was the same person I was back then. I had a strange mark on my left wrist, and I always covered it up with something wrapped around my wrist.
Yuuki, Harumi, and Mako probably felt the same. So much time had passed and so much had happened to each of them.
But still—
Still, I wished we could go back to how it was before.
…I wanted to smile brightly again like that moment I wanted so much, with everyone.