Chapter 370
Sota and Shii worried about me, but it’s not like I really visited their house every day. I’d see them briefly on the way back from school or invite them over a few times a week, and sure, there were times when Kagami brought way too much food, but sometimes I just needed a leisurely day to relax rather than a lively, noisy one.
I’m not naturally social. I like rolling around at home watching cartoons, so I needed these moments to recharge.
During the time Shii stayed at my house, I slept next to her. Naturally, I spent more time alone, but after Shii and Sota moved into their place, I sometimes found myself snuggling with Kagami again. However, I didn’t visit Kagami’s room every day like before.
Spending time alone increased a bit. I wasn’t holed up in my room every day, but there were times I got curious about the endings of cartoons Shii watched, so I developed the habit of timing my TV watching.
It wasn’t like I was a fan of Shii’s shows, but seeing how I picked up these habits from meeting Shii, I can’t say she had no impact on me at all.
Well, living in this world, I’ve been influenced by many people.
Now, I wonder if it even matters to think about such things.
These days, Sii seems to still like cartoons. After observing the surroundings, perhaps she judged that saying she likes cartoons was a little peculiar, like she’s not going around talking about it, but it’s clear she still wants to use words like “senpai” with me.
On a warm spring day.
The spring sunlight was lazily streaming into my room from outside. It felt warm enough to be a little hot if I stayed in the sun too long.
After coming back from school, washing up, and heading to my room, I just didn’t want to get up again while lying on my bed.
This year is the last I get to spend as an elementary student.
It’s a bit sentimental. My kindergarten days weren’t too long, and even though I hadn’t done anything remarkable, it felt like they just whizzed by. But now, I’m immersed in ‘six years’ of experiences.
I managed somehow. Without parting with Kagami.
As I lay blankly staring at the ceiling, contemplating what might happen in the future, knock, knock.
I heard a knocking sound on the door.
At this hour, there’s only one person who would knock.
“Yeah.”
I briefly answered while sitting up.
Kagami still speaks formally with me, but I haven’t bothered to return the formality.
Our relationship has already solidified, so I don’t feel the need to. No matter the tone I use, Kagami is my mom, and however she talks to me, I am her daughter.
The door opened carefully, and Kagami peeked in through the gap.
“May I come in?”
“Yeah.”
She doesn’t need to ask for permission.
Once seated, Kagami carefully came in and sat next to me.
“What were you doing?”
It wasn’t as though there was any particular reason she came in. Kagami sat beside me on the bed and spoke.
“I wasn’t doing anything. Just soaking up some sun on the bed.”
Kagami laughed at my words.
I leaned a little toward Kagami.
Kagami raised one arm and placed her hand on my shoulder, pulling me into an embrace.
A hug without any particular reason.
…Just as I sometimes feel anxious being away from Kagami, it seems like she feels the same way.
I had been Kagami’s only family for a long time.
Even now, perhaps. There’s the existence of a dad, but our relationship… well, it’s not exactly a complete family relationship, is it?
Maybe for a while longer, I’ll remain Kagami’s only family.
Just as I feel anxious thinking about being apart from her, Kagami might feel the same.
I tightened my grip around Kagami’s waist and burrowed deeper into her warmth.
It felt warm. Warmer than the pouring spring sunshine.
The warmth I’ve been anticipating from my mom my whole life.
“…Koto Ne.”
Kagami murmured, gently stroking my back.
That touch felt like it reassured me, while at the same time confirming my presence here.
No matter how the situation unfolds, we are together like this right now.
And I will strive to continue being together with her in the future.
In the end, we should be able to become just a typical family.
“Koto Ne.”
“Yeah.”
“Do you want to go grab something delicious to eat?”
Out of nowhere, Kagami said that.
I chuckled while still hugging Kagami’s waist.
“Sounds good.”
“Okay.”
After we both responded, we didn’t immediately get up and just stayed there embracing quietly.
I liked the way Kagami’s hand stroked my arm.
Indeed, the place I love most in this world is right here next to her.
*
Ah, right.
It had been a long while since I held hands with Kagami and walked around just the two of us.
Even though she’s a fabricated being, since we formed a ‘family,’ and after I made my ‘friends,’ the time Kagami and I spent together, just the two of us, gradually decreased.
I don’t know how things will change as we grow older, but for now, I’m still in elementary school.
It’s not that awkward an age to hold hands with Kagami and wander about.
I’ve grown quite a bit taller now.
Considering how my growth rate seems to be slowing down, it looks like I won’t be able to fully inherit Kagami’s height. If I keep growing, I might just barely surpass her shoulders.
But, that could be nice in its own way.
No matter how old I get, it means mom can still hug me warmly.
As we walked along, feeling a bit excited, we began to swing our joined hands back and forth.
Strangers passing by glanced at us with slightly delighted expressions, which made me a bit embarrassed, so we stopped.
After leisurely circling the neighborhood, we spent some time under a cherry blossom tree in full bloom.
As we sat side by side on a bench under the tree, Kagami started a conversation.
“Koto Ne.”
“Yeah.”
“I’m sorry.”
“……Huh?”
Turning my head towards Kagami, I saw her gazing thoughtfully at the sky.
“Lately, you’ve been through a lot.”
“……”
“If it weren’t for this situation, you wouldn’t have had to go through all this. I’m sorry.”
Has Kagami ever said something like this to me before?
I see.
Kagami has been worrying about me too.
About how we can’t lead a normal life. About the existence that follows her around.
And, ultimately, how we are living under constant surveillance even after escaping.
Over the past six months, I thought Kagami’s heart had somewhat settled down. Although we’d been under watch, I felt like we were spending our time in the most normal way possible compared to before.
But perhaps that’s not quite what Kagami felt deep down.
Thinking back, perhaps Kagami had barely been holding on. Up until now, she’s worked hard to support me on her own, but, in the end— it all led to this.
The reason she ended up resting at home after dad’s words might have been because she no longer had any strength left to persevere.
…Kagami poured her youth into me.
Even if she had married in her early twenties, it would have been tough. If she’d waited until her late teens, the glares from others would have been harsh. Kagami took care of me since before I was even close to her age now.
With all her might. Doing her absolute best.
Kagami’s face, gazing blankly at the sky, looked strangely empty, and for the first time since I was born in this world, it truly terrified me.
I grabbed Kagami’s arm.
Kagami looked down at me, a little startled.
“Mom.”
I looked at Kagami and said,
“I’m okay.”
“……”
Kagami blinked as she looked down at me.
“I’m okay, Mom.”
Seeing me say that, Kagami momentarily looked dazed before pulling me into a tight hug.
“……”
She opened her mouth as if to say something, but neither of us knew what more we should say to each other.
*
What had I just said?
That was the thought running through Kagami’s mind.
Frankly, I’ve been thinking more these days. With more time spent at home and less going out to work, I began to contemplate our current situation.
Perhaps that worry leaked out and came out as words.
…The apology was genuine.
I thought that if Kagami hadn’t been so stubborn about raising me, things might not have gone this far.
If, perhaps, she had sent Koto Ne elsewhere, or hadn’t tried so hard to act as my mom, would everything have gone smoothly?
But in the end, I couldn’t come to a conclusion.
I have no regrets. Although I’ve thought about ‘what ifs’, I’m ultimately glad that Koto Ne is by my side.
It might be a selfish thought, but—
“……”
The small child’s body was warm.
At least it was warm enough for me to think I could hold on for another day.
I’ll probably keep enduring each day with this child’s warmth—
“Thank you, Koto Ne.”
Kagami said that.
That too was genuine.