LIGHTNOVELONLINE Chapter 42
I set Kang Si Woo up as the absolute trash of the world to create a twist at the very end of the novel.
In fact, I wanted to write that the heroine who kept traveling with him was not Azazel, but her sister Gabriel.
So originally, if I wrote an ending where the fallen Azazel as the final boss kidnapped and imprisoned Kang Si Woo, it seemed like it would be a pretty memorable novel for readers.
“…I was worried you might get hurt.”
Since coming to this world, the only possibility I believed in was that the characters would act differently from the original narrative.
Just like Bi Wol didn’t become a madman obsessed with slaughter, Verdandi didn’t kill her mother, and Azazel didn’t wait alone in the Northern Lands for Kang Si Woo.
“Brother, you told me that because you knew this future…?”
“That’s right.”
I hoped that, unlike the character I created, Kang Si Woo wouldn’t be influenced by people and cheat. This world within the novel had already begun to slip out of my control as it started to live and breathe.
“But, the future isn’t always precise.”
“…That’s true.”
Azazel and I sighed deeply at the same time.
I knew the setting and stories in advance, which meant I had knowledge of the future, while she could see the possibilities of various parallel worlds.
It was a struggle only the two of us knew.
Azazel had mistakenly equated the hero she had seen in the game with Kang Si Woo, and I had been complacent thinking that as long as I saved the final bosses, there wouldn’t be a problem.
In the original work, the narratives of the final bosses were usually created first, followed by the protagonist getting involved.
“That bastard I saw a little while ago was different from the hero Kang Si Woo I met.”
Azazel spoke, mixing in curse words unbecoming of a saint, while the tentacles behind her writhed sharply. Still not cooled down, she kicked her legs in frustration while sitting in her chair.
“From the start, it’s rare for a human to make such sacrifices easily. If he truly loved you, he wouldn’t have easily fallen for your sister’s temptations.”
In this world, such individuals are indeed rare. Just like it was my luck to have Seolhwa.
If I were in a similar situation, I would have definitely noticed it was someone else and wouldn’t have given them the chance.
Even now, I wasn’t caught in Shub Niggurath’s schemes.
“Honestly, I wished he’d miss me even a little. I might just want to believe that it was an unavoidable accident caused by my sister using some sort of seduction magic.”
“But didn’t I tell you that wasn’t the case?”
“That’s right. My sister cared for me dearly, keeping away the bad men who came near me.”
Azazel looked at me with a slight smile, perhaps to suppress the tears threatening to fall.
Her slightly reddened eyes were pity-inducing, so I gently stroked her head.
“Haha, now I get to be petted too?”
“Sorry, was it unwelcome?”
It was an unconscious action left over from habits I had with Bi Wol or Verdandi.
It was something I did because the original version represented by Yoo Seolhwa would grab my hand when she wasn’t feeling well.
“…I didn’t say I disliked it?”
Then Azazel looked up with her cheeks puffed out, silently asking for more pats.
What a bothersome girl. This behavior of hers, twisted in such a way, was likely her defense mechanism after being betrayed by Kang Si Woo.
Not wanting to believe in people, yet wanting to lean on someone.
Humans are, after all, beasts that cannot live alone. Just like how I had depended on Seolhwa.
“…Was my flaw trusting people too much?”
Azazel seemed to be expressing her circumstances as though she was talking to herself. She had no one to blame but ended up blaming herself.
“What’s wrong with that? It’s not your fault.”
I calmly told Azazel. In the end, the problem lay with that trash of a man Kang Si Woo; she had no fault in trusting him.
There are many people in reality who take love lightly.
Like flower petals scattered in the wind, passing by without grasping them, it’s rare for someone to hold onto it as Azazel did.
I understood that feeling better than anyone since I had persevered in writing for Seolhwa.
“In the end, wasn’t he someone you loved? I think it’s more normal to harbor such feelings, even if you hate him.”
I bit my lower lip. The moment I thought Seolhwa was alive, I also nearly swayed towards the Outsiders.
Already dead, a person who cannot be brought back.
Love I thought I had forgotten and had given up on.
“But love is something that two people look towards the same place and grow together, isn’t it?”
Azazel, who was like a daughter born between Seolhwa and me, was looking at me with a face asking me to clarify what the feeling of love is.
“Right, in the end, if only one person loves, it leads to unhappiness. Half-hearted love is bound to be imperfect.”
I put my feelings of unrequited love into words.
I captured my silent regrets in black print.
The reason I started writing and continue to live so far is all because of one person, Yoo Seolhwa.
“The feeling of love is a strong emotion that can change a person, but you shouldn’t confuse it with other things.”
I wanted to save the final bosses and end this world with a happy ending, as it was also her wish.
As I reflected on those memories, I advised Azazel.
“So, this feeling is called regret.”
Azazel let out a small chuckle, as if she finally understood what I had said before.
“I have one question too.”
“What is it?”
“Why are you trying to save children like me? Is it hypocrisy? Or do you want someone to miss you before you die?”
Azazel was testing me now.
She might have sensed something by being connected to the Outsider Mordigian.
In fact, I had some knowledge of this world’s secrets, just like Kang Si Woo. I could have lived my life obtaining whatever I desired.
“Why, knowing the future, do you try to live for others, unlike that trash?”
Could she perhaps worry about whether I might follow the wrong person again?
“…Because it’s the right thing to do. Do I need a reason for it?”
I asked Azazel back, as if to say something was wrong.
“Huh?”
“Why is it that doing something obvious should require a reason? Isn’t that the cause and effect being reversed?”
That was something Seolhwa had once talked about.
When I was expressing negative feelings asking why she liked someone like me, she had hugged me from behind, saying:
– I love you; is there really a need for a reason?
I had misunderstood that she loved me solely based on my appearance. Hence, I had been under the illusion that had I not looked this way, I would have never met her.
“But… you’re someone who will soon face a deadline, right?”
These aspects were rather good. In fact, there was a part of me that wished she wouldn’t forgive me, who was the source of all misfortune, as I endlessly doubted myself.
I projected my miserable past onto the final bosses, thinking as long as the protagonists achieved a happy ending, that would be enough.
After Seolhwa’s death, I could no longer write something where everyone was happy.
I became afraid of sitting at my computer, tapping the keyboard, and gradually grew scared as my views and readers dwindled.
“But still, I don’t want to have regrets.”
“Don’t you have thoughts of wantonly playing with women or generously spending money? Are you really someone who’s restrained in desires, brother?”
“I have desires. They are dreams I can no longer fulfill.”
I wish more people would read my writings.
I wish more people would remember Seolhwa.
I’m just a person without talent. With miserable writing skills, I couldn’t write stories to captivate others.
Now, coming into this world in the novel, saving the final bosses or helping pitiable individuals was like an extension of that work.
“What kind of dream is that?”
“Well, everyone should have one unspeakable secret to keep things interesting.”
I laughed lightly at Azazel, who was looking wide-eyed, curious about the dream I was talking about.
The desire to see the protagonists from the original work and the final bosses happily together with Seolhwa. That’s what I’m wishing for more than anything right now, but I don’t know how long this miserable body can hold on.
“You’ll be able to meet someone better, Azazel.”
I gently said while stroking Azazel’s head. She is pure and kind enough to be chosen as a saint.
Having merely wandered for a moment after meeting a bad man, she was originally meant to play the role of a tragic heroine, kidnapping Kang Si Woo to unravel her twisted feelings in the original.
“…Brother, someone like you is really a bit hard to deal with.”
Seeing Azazel sulking at me like that meant our relationship had actually improved.
*
At that moment, Kang Si Woo was biting his nails and showing a nervous expression. He had clearly acted according to the choices from the game he knew, so why didn’t Azazel come over?
“Damn it, I thought the plan was perfect…!”
If only, just a bit more, he could have been that man grasping the hands of two twin flowers. He could have made them kneel at his feet in a harem.
Why on earth did he fail?
“That master guy was the problem.”
“…What did you say?”
“After that guy Bing Yeon took Azazel as his disciple, her feelings cooled, so the way to win her back is obvious, right?”
As Kang Si Woo was speaking, Bing Seolhwa appeared beside him, chuckling. She spoke as if she could see through all of this as if she had been watching from a distance.
“How do you expect to win her back? Weren’t you telling me to kill Azazel before? Now you’re changing your words?”
“Well, my goal is to make Bing Yeon hate this body and you guys. It doesn’t matter if the method changes.”
Shub Niggurath spoke as if the twisted fate was amusing. Her ultimate goal was for the lovers Han Dohyun and Yoo Seolhwa to try killing each other.
“…Do you desire power?”
The sly Bing Seolhwa smiled at Kang Si Woo, harboring dark intentions.