LIGHTNOVELONLINE Chapter 3
The Protagonist cut off ties with me.
I sacrificed half of my connections to get some money.
And then I walked home.
Every time I felt like I was going to die, I swallowed a pill.
After I ran out of pills, I took a painkiller.
[9 hours 56 minutes]
The painkiller lasts unusually long.
There was still a lot of time left even after I got home.
It had the effect of being able to skip a day of injections.
I don’t know why painkillers are more effective than regular medicine.
“My head hurts.”
Even lying still, my head hurts.
My body is exhausted.
It’s hard to even move my fingers.
My mind is also fatigued.
Now, thinking is a struggle.
But I can’t fall asleep.
It feels like I drank a whole pot of coffee.
I want to switch off my brain, but unfortunately, it doesn’t turn off easily.
“Are you feeling alright?”
The Doctor asks.
He was wearing a black gown.
I couldn’t see his face because it was dark.
“I feel good because I took the medicine, but… why are you in my house?”
“House…? Well, the door was open, so I thought that meant I could just come in.”
“Oh. Then could you please close it?”
“I already closed it.”
Half of Yoo Seo-Ah’s connections are here.
It’s a doctor I can meet when buying medicine.
Or is he a pharmacist?
Whatever.
“But Doctor, since you’re here, could you give me some sleeping pills?”
“I didn’t come here to sell medicine today.”
“Then why are you here?”
If he’s not here to sell medicine, isn’t he just a trespasser?
For some reason, he enters someone’s house and acts very confidently.
My mind is too foggy to argue.
Well, a doctor should be a trustworthy person.
“Besides, you don’t have money to buy the medicine, do you?”
That’s true.
Until yesterday, I had not a penny to my name.
“I actually have money now. A friend gave it to me.”
“Friend?”
“Han Si-Hoo.”
Upon hearing my words, the doctor paused as if deep in thought.
Then he opened his mouth again.
“If I recall correctly… didn’t you say you wouldn’t have to beg your friend for help? The last time Si-Hoo offered his assistance, you even made up excuses to chase him away?”
“I need to buy medicine.”
“Even so, it’s strange to just go and borrow several hundred thousand won.”
“I didn’t borrow it; I received it.”
There’s a difference between borrowing and receiving.
If I had to pay back money after being cut off, that would be terrible.
In that respect, the protagonist can definitely be considered merciful.
“You received it?”
“Yes, and I was cut off. He said he never wanted to see me again.”
“Ah… I see.”
The doctor spoke as if intrigued.
Then he bent down and lifted my body off the floor.
Thud.
“Ugh.”
He forced me to sit in a chair.
“Now, let’s have an honest conversation while you sit here.”
“I just want to sleep…”
“It’s better for your health to stay awake. It’s not often that I do this.”
As he spoke, he dragged another chair and placed it right in front of me.
What does he want to do by sitting across from me?
Coming into my home is already a big issue, but now this is quite outrageous.
Isn’t it pretty rude?
Even if he is a doctor.
My head hurts too much to think deeply about it.
“[You can’t lie.] Do you understand?”
“Oh, yes.”
At that moment, the doctor’s tone seemed intense.
Sitting face to face like this, it feels like I’m being interrogated.
“Where did you go today?”
“I went to the Academy.”
“To meet Han Si-Hoo?”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
“To borrow money.”
I don’t understand why he’s asking the same question again.
Didn’t I just say that earlier?
“Don’t you have any pride?”
Pride?
Ah, if I lowered my head first after fighting, it would injure my pride.
I understand what he means but… I don’t really care about that.
“I need to buy medicine.”
“I thought you had strong feelings for Han Si-Hoo. I guess it’s all meaningless now?”
“…Feelings?”
Surely just because I read a few books, I wouldn’t have feelings for the protagonist?
I’m not Yoo Seo-Ah, and I wouldn’t have romantic feelings.
Ah, of course, Yoo Seo-Ah liked Han Si-Hoo.
Since I inherited a massive amount of Yoo Seo-Ah’s memories, I know that.
Because of that, I might have had lingering feelings for Han Si-Hoo, but they disappeared after I took the medicine.
“I have no feelings at all.”
“……”
“There can’t be any such thing, right?”
Common sense says that.
From my perspective, that’s obvious.
“Has your brain gone soft?”
“Yes?”
“No, never mind. [Let’s leave it at that.]”
What’s this “never mind” nonsense?
It’s ridiculous to think I didn’t hear when he just insulted me.
Even if my mind is fuzzy, I can still think at a minimum.
“So why are you in my house? At this late hour.”
“Are you that curious?”
“I think most people would be curious.”
“It’s a long story…”
The doctor said this and paused.
He seems to be debating whether or not to explain it to me.
“…But I’ll explain it anyway. We might meet often in the future.”
“Of, often?”
Does that mean I’ll be going to buy medicine often?
I don’t want to get sick enough to need medicine frequently.
That’s scary.
I can already see a future where medicine costs become so expensive that I can only buy one day’s worth at a time.
“Are you worried that you will see me often? Would you do anything to get your medicine anyway?”
The doctor seemed oddly offended.
“That’s not quite it.”
“Is that so?”
“Yes.”
“If you kneel, bow down, and lick my shoes, I’ll give you a day’s worth of medicine, would you do it?”
“Shall I do it now?”
Honestly, I’d feel good no matter what I did.
Honor doesn’t feed me.
I don’t care if my image gets a little tarnished.
As long as I can use the medication, I’d be satisfied.
Plus, a day’s worth of medicine costs over a hundred thousand won, so of course I could do that.
“No. My shoes will get dirty. Don’t do it.”
“Yes…”
I was rejected for an unexpected reason.
Of course, I wouldn’t want someone licking my shoes either.
Not because they would get dirty, but for other reasons.
Logically, there’s no way for a normal person to try to lick someone else’s shoes, right?
I shouldn’t associate with such strange things.
“Okay, how about this?”
“Yes?”
“I’ll give you medicine for a year.”
A year’s worth of happiness?
It sounds like a dream, but it doesn’t make sense.
I don’t have any money.
If I had known this would happen, I would have asked Han Si-Hoo for more.
“I don’t have that much money…”
“Instead, for that amount, you’ll go over and kill Han Si-Hoo.”
“……Ah?”
I momentarily didn’t understand what he was saying.
“Can you do it?”
This was an unexpected condition again.
Killing Han Si-Hoo.
That’s something Yoo Seo-Ah did when she was about to die in the story.
It seems this doctor was the one behind it all.
The doctor made the protagonist see Yoo Seo-Ah die right in front of her.
Did he give out medicine like this to make her fight Han Si-Hoo?
In fact, Yoo Seo-Ah and Han Si-Hoo never actually fought.
Yoo Seo-Ah was already dying, but Han Si-Hoo wasn’t heartless enough to easily raise a blade against someone he knew.
She just had to watch Yoo Seo-Ah crumble right in front of him.
After that, Han Si-Hoo’s mind became a bit messed up.
The story opens with a protagonist getting into the high school division of the academy.
A protagonist with a sad past.
The setting is that the protagonist carries such painful memories behind a unique personality.
But I don’t have any intention to create such a bothersome setting.
“To reiterate, Yoo Seo-Ah will kill Si-Hoo. Ah, it’s better to give you the highest grade medicine for a lifetime instead of just a year.”
“Lifetime?”
“Can you manage that?”
“Hmm…”
I couldn’t kill him, right?
The protagonist is not weak.
Does she know how many hundreds of chapters the story has?
The protagonist doesn’t die.
Even if they try, the supporting antagonist won’t be able to kill her.
If anything, it would be lucky if they don’t end up dead themselves.
Even if I receive medicine for a lifetime, what good is it if that life isn’t very long?
It would be easy for anyone to die trying to take on the protagonist.
Isn’t there any way to receive medicine and not have to fight the protagonist?
“I can give you time to think. I know it’s hard to think because of the painkiller.”
“What about the painkiller?”
“A good doctor knows their patients well.”
“Ah, I see.”
“Anyway, consider if you can kill Han Si-Hoo. He was your only friend, right? Ah, but now he isn’t a friend anymore.”
That’s insulting.
I should have made one more friend.
Then I could have borrowed even more money.
If asked whether I would kill Han Si-Hoo, the answer came easily.
“…Will you really give me medicine?”
“Doctors do not lie.”
“For life?”
“I promise you will have more than enough medicine to use freely for the rest of your life. I swear it on my honor.”
You’re swearing on your honor to someone who doesn’t care about honor.
But it seems the doctor takes his honor quite seriously, so it should be a trustworthy promise.
“Then of course…”
I would have to kill him.
I almost said it but then shut my mouth.
Wise people don’t speak recklessly.
Upon reflection, I think I might have been misunderstanding something.
Will I receive medicine while attempting to kill Han Si-Hoo?
Or not?
The doctor spoke about the reward for killing Han Si-Hoo.
He didn’t say anything about providing any support until then.
I almost mistakenly said I would kill him by making assumptions.
“So…”
Just as I was about to ask whether they’d provide separate medicine until I kill Han Si-Hoo,
“I understand. That’s enough. Since you seem to be contemplating, it doesn’t seem you’ve completely lost your mind.”
“……”
The doctor arbitrarily concluded and started asking questions.
“Seeing that you still have some feelings for Han Si-Hoo… it doesn’t seem like it was an overdose… Is the medicine that good? You were quite restrained for that.”
The doctor lifted a glass vial sitting on the table as he spoke.
I couldn’t tell if he was talking to himself or to me.
The liquid inside the vial sloshed around.
Restraint?
[8 hours 11 minutes]
Because I can see this, I can use only the right amount at the right time.
I can tell when the medicine’s effect will wear off.
“Well, anyway. I’ll lay you back down on the floor so you can sleep. I’ll come to see you again soon.”
“What about the sleeping pills?”
I called the doctor who was about to leave.
Regardless of feeling good or not, I just wanted to get some sleep.
“You won’t need them.”
“Yes?”
Bang.
I felt a shock in my head.
Interestingly enough, my eyes started to shut on their own.
As expected of a doctor.