Episode 138
Episode 138
Only the sound of the humidifier running tickled his ears in the quiet room. Even while hearing that sound, Seung-hyun couldn’t feel that he was alive.
He did think his ears felt a bit blocked, but perhaps because he was used to resting his body without doing anything, he didn’t feel a sense of discomfort.
The moment Seung-hyun thought something was strange was when the sound of a car horn blared loudly from outside. Because the window was closed, it wasn’t very loud, but it was enough to grate on Seung-hyun’s nerves that had only been monotonous.
“…”
Are there cars in the afterlife too? That’s a bit tiring. While having that strange thought, his hand that had twitched without him knowing felt stuffy.
Seung-hyun slowly opened his eyes. Instead of an empty white space, the slightly familiar hospital room ceiling came into view.
‘Am I not dead?’
Was this a miracle, or was it an illusion? If it was an illusion, it felt like the world was being too cruel to him.
But for a dream, the warmth of the hand grasping his own felt too warm. When he lowered his gaze to check the identity of the warmth, he saw a familiar hand.
It was a face he wouldn’t mind even if it was an illusion. The warmth that preciously held his hand as if sitting uncomfortably asleep felt so good that Seung-hyun unconsciously grasped that hand.
“…!”
Jae-young’s shoulders twitched at that small movement. Was it his imagination? Jae-young, who slowly opened his eyes and raised his head, froze the moment his eyes met Seung-hyun’s.
“…”
He had many things he definitely wanted to say, and he had talked to the sleeping Seung-hyun to the point of being bothersome, but now that their gazes met, his mind went blank.
Was it a dream, was it a misunderstanding? The hand holding Seung-hyun’s hand tightened strongly.
“Ah.”
“…!”
As soon as Seung-hyun groaned in pain, Jae-young, startled, let go of his hand and pulled it back. He was alive. He was looking at him and reacting to his movements.
“It’s not a dream, right?”
Jae-young asked Seung-hyun. He wanted to hear the answer directly from him. With his voice, he wanted to hear a definite answer that he was alive.
“…Cough.”
Seung-hyun, who tried to answer, coughed dryly, unable to make a sound right away with his blocked throat. His throat that hadn’t been used for a long time was completely dried up.
Jae-young fumbled a bit and found water on the table to pour for him. Wondering if he lacked strength in his hands, he held the glass to his mouth like to a child and focused on Seung-hyun swallowing the water.
“Haa…”
Seung-hyun, who had moistened his throat, let out a long sigh. How much time had passed? Jae-young’s clothes were definitely lighter.
But there was something more important than that. After looking at Jae-young’s face for a moment, Seung-hyun reached out his hand to him, who seemed so tense that even breathing was difficult.
“…!”
The surprised Jae-young froze, unable to even hug Seung-hyun back. The body that filled his arms was definitely warm.
“I thought if it was an illusion, it would be too mean of a trick.”
The moment he saw Jae-young’s face, he was happy as if he had never had such a thought. What did it matter if it was an illusion or a dream? Just seeing this face again made him this happy.
“I guess it’s not that either. Just… if it’s a dream, a little longer…”
Before Seung-hyun finished speaking, Jae-young hugged him back. Now it hit him.
When he heard that there was a high possibility of Seung-hyun waking up, he was surprised but just stayed in a daze for a while, showing a somewhat calm reaction, but now it felt like all the emotions he had postponed were rushing in.
Jae-young, who was much bigger than Seung-hyun, embraced him. Seung-hyun felt his shoulder getting soaked where Jae-young had buried his head.
‘He must have missed me as much as I missed him.’
“I was scared it would be the last time.”
While patting Jae-young’s back, Seung-hyun stopped his hand at the mumbled voice. What was the last time like again? Before his mind could find the answer, it came back.
“I wasn’t angry at you. I hated myself for not being able to take better care of you even though I knew you were sick.”
“…”
“That day, I was really happy. Everything we saw together was beautiful. Enough that I wanted to see it again anytime.”
Jae-young poured out his words as if forgetting to breathe. He was glad that moment didn’t become their last. It felt like a dream to be able to say those words weren’t sincere.
“…Now I understand why I insisted on going out.”
Seung-hyun asked in a calm voice. Jae-young nodded, his head still buried in Seung-hyun’s embrace.
“How could I not know that?”
It was a fact he knew too well to the point of regretting not realizing it sooner. At that answer, Seung-hyun patted Jae-young’s back again and said,
“Of course I know too. Why you said those words, how much it must have bothered you.”
That had been on his mind. Seung-hyun detached Jae-young’s face that was clinging to him and held that face with both hands, meeting his gaze.
“Just as you know why I did that, I know everything too… So stop being sorry now.”
Right now, he just wanted to see his face. The reddened eyes trembled and started shedding tears again.
“Right now, I just want to see your face. Haven’t I not seen it for a long time?”
He didn’t know exactly how much time had passed. However, judging by the lighter clothes and the flowers he had seen until he fell asleep not being visible through the window, it must not have been a very short time.
So now he just wanted to look at each other’s faces without thinking about anything. Jae-young nodded at his words and met Seung-hyun’s gaze.
May we never lose this gaze again. With that thought, Jae-young captured Seung-hyun in his blurred vision.
***
“…You don’t seem very surprised. You’re not even doubting it.”
“Maybe it’s because there have been so many surprising things, but this level doesn’t make me think much now.”
After staying like that for a while and getting scolded by a nurse doing rounds for not telling them right away when the patient woke up, Seung-hyun underwent several tests again.
Fortunately, most were problems that simple drug treatment and time would solve. However, Professor Kim, who said it would be good to observe the progress while hospitalized for about a week, brought up the topic with difficulty.
‘Will he be able to accept this easily? He’s lived his whole life as an alpha.’
However, Seung-hyun accepted the situation so easily that it made his worries seem pointless. Perhaps because everything that had happened so far was surprising, this incident felt rather logical.
‘And…’
There was a story that Professor Kim might not believe if he told him. Because he had a vague idea of the identity of that child who had melted into him, Seung-hyun could accept the situation without much shock.
‘The child…’
It was something he had never even thought about in his life, but perhaps because that small lump came to mind, rather than fear, the thought of wanting to meet the child healthy came first.
“The child is much smaller than the expected weeks. Alpha pregnancies itself have many variables, and it could also be that the child exhausted its energy trying to protect itself.”
Seung-hyun was only able to leave Professor Kim’s office after a long time after hearing various information, such as the fact that what surrounded the child was literally disposable and the possibility of having a child again was low, that the child would be an omega but it was still unknown whether omega pheromones would remain in Seung-hyun’s body after giving birth.
“…You don’t dislike it?”
Jae-young, who had been waiting in front, asked as he took Seung-hyun to the hospital room. Jae-young thought it was fortunate, but Seung-hyun might not.
What should he do if that was the case? Jae-young asked with a slightly complicated feeling. Before Seung-hyun woke up, he only prayed for him to wake up, but now there were many things to think about.
More realistic and less than ideal things. Jae-young took a small deep breath. What if Seung-hyun doesn’t feel welcome about the child? He’ll probably give birth since his condition could become even more dangerous if he doesn’t, but what he thinks is a separate issue.
It wouldn’t be strange if he was flustered or disliked it since it was something he had never thought about in his life, but to Jae-young, the child was the only existence that proved what happened between the two of them.
If such an existence was denied by his most precious person, it definitely wouldn’t feel good.
‘But Seung-hyun’s intention is most important. I can’t force him to think positively. Whatever reaction comes back, I won’t show that I’m upset.’
While having various thoughts with a complicated mind, Seung-hyun tapped Jae-young who had a serious expression. He looked so pitifully obvious about what he was thinking.
‘That’s the usual way of thinking though…’
“I’m okay with it. No… I want to meet the child soon.”
At the unexpected answer, the hand pushing the wheelchair stopped. He had the look of wondering if he had heard what he wanted to hear.
“I hope the child takes after you. Then it would be very cute.”
When he added a word casually, Jae-young’s face turned red. It was unclear whether it was because of joy or surprise, but one thing was certain.
He would never again have useless thoughts about Seung-hyun disliking the child. Seung-hyun smiled slightly and tapped the hand holding the wheelchair as if telling him to move again.