I Became a Fake Priest the Saintess Is Obsessed With

3 – Back Alley(1)

People are essentially born with a certain path.

Whether determined by internal reasons or external reasons, the fact remains that people are born for certain things.

Those meant to be chefs are born with exceptional taste.

Those meant to be office workers are born with diligence.

Those meant to be researchers are born with interest in everything.

And I, I was born a swindler more than anyone else.

‘Keke… I thought of it. A method to perfectly overcome the current situation…’

The day before yesterday, on the second day that I entered the Grand Cathedral.

While lying down, I thought of a way to pull off a con job in the Grand Cathedral.

The plan was perfect, now left only to carry it out.

Now, if I meet sister Celena and say that I beat up the priest, I could achieve the second golden age of my life.

I was so happy that I wanted to whoop with joy.

Seeing the statue of the goddess near the lakewalk, I flipped it off.

‘Ha, damn goddess, let me live as I please until I go to hell!’

As I escaped the monastery and headed for the Grand Cathedral, this phrase came to mind.

Everyone has a reasonable plan. Until they get punched.

I’m not sure who said it or what it means, but it seems to perfectly describe my current situation.

[Main Quest: Become a deserving High Priest at the Cathedral]

Time left: 4 Years

Reward: ???

※Failure results in death.

It’s embarrassing, but I’ve climbed the ranks faster than other priests.

Even I took three years to go from a probationary priest to a regular priest, and nine years to become a middle-ranked priest.

But becoming one of the mere eleven high priests in an empire full of priests in just four years? And death if I fail?

“Hah, hahahahaha… The Goddess must really want to send me to heaven.”

The plan I had carefully thought out has been ruined by the goddess’ prank.

Despairing, I knelt down and offered a prayer to the one called the evil deity in this world.

‘Wise devil… Please tear my buried mother in half under the ground…’

[They say that if you speak ill of the goddess, you will go to hell]

It seems like my futile prayer has reached the goddess’ ears.

Ah, the real devil.

Please just whack this rotten head once.

***

In the end, I had to submit to the system’s command.

How could I resist when they said I’d die if I didn’t become a high priest?

I hope my death would be more noble than my life.

Such words exist, but would I die just because I didn’t follow the system’s command?

I don’t want to die, even if only to save the twelve years I’ve spent rolling around.

The grand cathedral I reached with pitiful steps.

I just walked in and locked eyes with nun Selena.

“It’s good to see you, Priest Ivan. We have something to talk about, please come this way.”

Hearing the nun’s voice alone is draining.

What task will I undertake today, what pain will I endure?

Still aching, I grabbed my left arm and collapsed onto the spot.

“I heard from the Saintess that you have been healing the sick, Priest Ivan and have been quite tired. Apparently, you even collapsed on the way to the monastery…”

Again today, I thought they called me for the treatment of a critically injured patient, but the nun looked at me with concerned eyes.

“I knew Priest, you treat in a unique way compared to others, but I never thought you would overwork yourself… I’m sorry we didn’t understand.”

When you receive an apology from a superior at a regular company, it’s usually signaling a good outcome for the intern being apologized to.

“No, Sister! It’s my lack of ability.”

I trembled a bit, sensing a good sign.

“No, it’s definitely my fault for making you strain yourself. From now on, you can freely treat any patient. Please don’t overexert yourself like this time…”

Nice! Finally, I don’t have to treat the critically injured!

Even more, now I can choose the patient I want!

I should thank the holy lady.

I ran away yesterday because they treated me very poorly, but the nun explained my situation well…

Truly a kind person, hard to believe she’s anyone’s apostle.

Inside, my respect for the holy lady elevated.

In the middle of acknowledging she’s the kindest person I know, I withdrew my high esteem for her when she continued her speech.

“However… could you continuously treat Saint Amelia?”

I froze as I smiled awkwardly.

I swiftly gathered another smile.

“Why is Saint Amelia’s treatment on me…?”

“As you know, the curse cast on Saint Amelia could only be treated by Priest Ivan.”

The nun spoke very seriously.

“But, it seems the treatment wasn’t entirely successful, because the curse still remains in the Saint.”

While dealing with people as an outcast, I heard a lot about the company.

“I didn’t want to strain Priest Ivan, but Saint Amelia herself pleaded fervently…”

It’s a place, where if you fail the superior’s command, you may face termination for proving your worthlessness.

“So I would like to officially assign Saint Amelia’s treatment to Priest Ivan.”

I was used to hearing such stories, so I grasped the situation that occurred.

An employee fell because they couldn’t prove their ability, a business department deserted by the company.

The story was all about me.

Ah, I see, I could lose my job if I didn’t take this task.

Feeling threatened to be banished from the cathedral, I had no choice but to nod.

Ah- I wonder how much pain my thighs will endure from now on.

Around lunchtime, I stepped outside to build up my performance record.

Although my job change had me dealing with quite trivial tasks, I had to collect as many merits as I could if I wanted to become a high priest.

‘If I just hang around the cathedral, I’d only end up on the other priests’ radars…’

I headed out into the streets with the intention of doing some healer’s work, only to find myself wide-eyed at the array of sights.

The multitudes of people traversing the golden streets, the noise radiating from the magic train, huge magical pillars displaying a spectrum of colors set up here and there, and the royal palaces standing tall above it all.

I never really had a chance to see all this so clearly, having been focused on treating patients the day before yesterday.

Just how opulent the Capital was.

‘Is it really possible for the sick to exist in such a place?’

Of course… they must.

If the standard of human life rises, although everything might seem okay on the surface, inside, decay sets in due to various issues, invariably leading to ailments.

And I? I, the healer, am here to treat these decaying souls.

My work will only increase the more flamboyant the Capital becomes.

‘The front lines, where I always sparred with the demon tribe, had an excess of the sick.’

In fact, if a city becomes dramatically dismal, it tends to have more sick people.

It was no coincidence that I, the healer, had treated some 900 people at the front lines.

There, the aftermath of war had led to many patients suffering from stress disorders, PTSD, and they were being duped as much.

‘Anyway, first, let’s head to the casino where there will surely be the most patients!’

The Empire happened to have a casino on the outskirts of the Capital for currency exchange.

There would probably be no place in the Capital like the casino, where money keeps flowing, with more sick people.

‘I might as well play a few games… Ah, I can’t gamble due to my priestly status…’

Being a priest can be quite inconvenient…

I suppose I’ll just have to look around before I leave.

While heading to the casino to kill two birds with one stone – work and entertainment, the system abruptly halted me again.

[Sub Quest: Treat the sick in the alleyways (0/5)]

Reward: Increased Chances of High Priest appointment

※Failure leads to death.

Damn those gods…

just when I intended to calm down some rioting, money-losing people.

Do I die if I fail this, too?

“Phew… Thank you so very much, Your Grace, for blocking the path of corruption!”

Once again, I succumbed to the word, death.

There’s no point in complaining when you’re talking about dying… I’ve got to give up.

“But being in the back alleys of the capital… isn’t that too dangerous if the rumors are true?”

The brighter the light, the deeper the shadows are cast.

And the shadow cast over the empire can be seen in the back alleys of the capital.

The voices of those who had advised me come to mind.

‘There’s a monster in the back alley, fed and grown on darkness…’

‘Father… I regret setting foot in that place for my whole life…’

‘Eldem…! Eldem…! Why, did you have to go into the alley…?’

I’ve heard it quite frequently, whenever I treat soldiers who had worked in the capital, even in the frontline cities.

Never, ever go near the back alleys of the capital.

“So, if it’s that dangerous, I’m just dead anyway?”

I don’t know what they saw there or what kind of experience they had, but one thing’s for sure, the back alleys are dangerous.

‘If I go, I face certain death, if I don’t, I’m surely dead…’

In truth, there’s no other option for me, trembling in fear or not.

If there’s even a slight possibility of survival, I have to venture into the back alley.

Quite coincidentally, something that clearly looks like the entrance to a back alley lies in front of me.

A dark path stretches long, blocking all visibility ahead.

I’ve been wandering the streets of the capital in broad daylight, and quite surprisingly found myself before an alley.

“I truly thank you, Your Grace, for leading me up to here…!”

I grit my teeth and step into the alley.