Husband of the Goblin Tribe

“What are we doing out here?”

“Hunting.”

“And what are we hunting?”

“You mean, what am I hunting.”

“Stop being stupid and tell me already!”

“I’m here to hunt you, Prima.”

“And what makes you think you can hunt me? You’re a weak human right now.”

“Maybe, but I am also a Husband who hasn’t seen you in a while...”

Prima grinned at me.

“Do you think saying that will make me easier to hunt?”

“Yes.”

Prima let out a massive growl that echoes all around us.

“Come then, try and hunt me.”

Prima and I played a game of tag in the Southwestern area of the forest outside Goblinhome. Try as I might, aside from that night when I was the Monster, I haven’t been able to spend any quality time with Prima. I know she has her hands full as Guardian of the tribe, and I certainly haven’t made things much easier since then. With the arrival of four Orcs she doesn’t trust yet, and the creation of the Goblin’s Guild, as well as the addition of four new daughter-wives, then the arrival of Primrose… the timing has just been awful.

Of course, Prima will let me win, eventually. I know she needs it as much as I want it.

When she finally leads me to a good spot, a forest floor full of soft green leaves that I can only imagine Lily comes to harvest for the shit-pit, she slows down enough that I can put my hands on her, and then get spun around and thrown to the ground.

It’s not my intention to win this match. It’s my intention to give Prima a chance to let off some steam. She’s a hunter and this forest is her playground. With the exception of that strange goose that’s sometimes around, Prima is the Area Boss of the forest.

And right now, that boss goblin has me pinned down underneath her.

“It seems that I’ve been captured by the Tribe’s strongest Guardian.”

“Captured again, you mean.”

This time I grinned at her.

“Husband still thinks the strongest Guardian is Prima? Not Diana Artemis?”

I chortled.

“The weak know instinctively who the strongest is at all times. Even If Diana someday gets to be as strong as you are, you’ll still be my Guardian.”

“You weren’t weak when you were like us.”

“I know. But if I were to somehow stay like that, then I wouldn’t need a Guardian at all.”

“Can you become a goblin now whenever you want?”

I shook my head. Hopefully I’ll never have any reason to become it again.

“Good. You might have looked better, but wasting big-seed wasn’t as fun.”

“You think I looked better as a goblin?”

“Maybe a little.”

“Anything I can do to change your mind?”

“Prima can think of a few things…”

We rolled around in the soft pile of green leaves for a long time. One thing a female goblin enjoys is having a full belly. Whether it’s from good food or big-seed, as long as I can manage it, I’ll stay on good terms with them.

While we laid down, looking at the sun peeking through a myriad of leaves in the tree canopies, Prima, resting her head on my shoulder asked me a strange question.

“You’ve had the opportunity many times already, Prima knows. Why have you not run away back to your kind?”

“For what? It’s been six moons and no one has come searching for me, or for Stella, or our other companion, Kairos. There’s no one in my world out there who cares if I’m gone. Mabye… maybe my mother—my human maker. But… I’m also pretty much an adult human. I’m able to have what is essentially my own cave-hole and also to find someone I can make strong-ones with. In the world of humans, I’m just as weak as I am here. The only difference between there and here, is that you all seem to think I have big-seed that is good enough to fill your bellies and make strong ones with. All I’ve ever wanted is to have a family. I don’t even care that you and everyone else are goblins despised by the outside world. Sometimes… I don’t think I’m even worthy of being a Husband to you all. But, then you all gave me children—strong-ones. For me… there’s nothing more important than that to live for… to protect.”

“So, you aren’t thinking of ever leaving Goblinhome?”

“No. If you can accept that I still want to be a human, and still do some things in the Human way, then I’m willing to accept doing what things I can in the Goblin way as well.”

“Did you hate being a goblin?”

“Yes, and no. I think it was a valuable experience. My thoughts were definitely… goblin. I felt like a lot of the things I didn’t quite understand completely, or understand the importance of, had become much clearer to me. But I also think that goblin version of me… was too cruel. I don’t think he could bring happiness to the tribe.”

“And you can?”

“More than he could.”

“I agree. At first, I wasn’t sure you would make a good Husband. That’s why I went first. Just in case anything went wrong, the only one who needed to bear it would be me. Or another strong hunter like Jewel. After seeing how you treated Lily and Berry… I decided that you would be.”

“Prima… I’m sorry I couldn’t make your belly fat until the end.”

“It doesn’t matter anymore. Nova came into the world extremely strong, which is what I expected from your first big-seed. I just wish she cared to use the spear instead of the sword.”

“Is it that big of a deal that she uses a sword?”

“They are two different weapons! I can’t teach her all that I learned from Spear-hand… and all that I have learned since then.”

“Of course you can. In fact, she’s probably already learned it.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, she can hold her own pretty well against you using a sword against all that Spear-hand taught you, and all that you’ve learned since then, right?”

Prima rolled on top of me.

“Is that your human way of looking at things?”

“No. It’s just my way of looking at things as a father. I’m no good with a sword or a spear in the first place and would probably lose ten out of ten matches against both you and Nova even if I could use my magic… but that’s okay. Losing can teach as much about anything as winning can. Maybe even more. Which is why no matter what happens, whether something is a win or a loss, I will be there to support you both. And besides, we can keep making strong-ones until one comes out who can appreciate the spear skills you want to teach them.”

“Maybe I should trade with Jewel for a good magic stone? That way my next strong one can also have strong magic and use it together with a spear like her strong-ones.”

“You mean like Ruby’s whip?”

“Yes. Husband can make a magic spear for our next strong-one?”

“Sure.”

“Would be good if Nova could use a magic sword.”

“Uh… She does?”

Prima rolled on top of me, staring at me with wide eyes.

“What do you mean she does?”

“Nova’s sword. There’s a reason she uses a metal one, and that’s because she can use magic.”

“Nova never told me this!”

“It’s not a secret. She’s a Sonic Blade user.”

“What is that? Tell me!”

Prima gripped my shoulders tightly.

“Mind letting go of my shoulders? If you let me up and let me use Gob-dent for a moment, I can show you.”

Prima quickly pushed off of me and picked her spear up from nearby, helping me up and then foisting her spear onto me.

“Show me.”

“Alright. Just relax. I’ll show you what I mean.”

I wasn’t exactly good with using weapons outside of a kitchen knife, and even then only for filleting chicken breasts for dinner. Finding a thin tree that wouldn’t give me too much feedback from striking, I manifested a single Sound Rune and merged it into the bone-spear I had made for Prima as a Grand Weapon.

Striking out with the Spear, the tip oscillated extremely fast and tore a hole straight through the thin trunk I had chosen. I then pulled it out and cancelled the Rune.

“That.”

Prima snatched the spear out of my hand and struck out with it at a spot just below the tore I had torn through the trunk, with the tip of Gob-dent getting stuck a little more than halfway through.

Prima looked a bit pissed off.

“Nova hid this from me.”

Prima stared at her spear for a moment, and then at me.

“Teach me it.”

“What? Magic?”

“Sonic Blade. That’s what you called it, right?”

“Whoa. That wasn’t the sonic blade, Prima. That was just me using a simple Sound Rune. The real sonic blade can cut that tree down effortlessly in one stroke.”

She put her arm on my shoulder and squeezed hard enough to drop me to my knees.

“Ark. Teach me it.”

“W-well, I… don’t know if you have any magical affinities…”

“I don’t care. Teach me it. You taught Vera how to use your human picture-magic. I saw the fighting magic you did against those two orcs when you were a goblin. Your hand was covered with fire when you punched the first one. And your body moved like many shadows when you killed the second one. All of your strong-ones can use magic!”

She stared down at me coldly.

“Teach me.”

I nodded slowly.

“I… can only promise to try.”

Prima let go of my shoulder. It throbbed, but she didn’t break the skin on it anywhere.

“Can the other strong-ones use it?”

“Sonic Blade?”

“Yes.”

“I don’t think so. The only one that might benefit from learning it would be Orchid.”

“Because she uses Fearfang?”

“Yes. But… it’s a stone weapon. As it is, Gob-dent might break unless I reinforce it with metal. It would be the same case with Fearfang.”

“So, if I gave you metal weapons to take apart like you did for those cards you gave us all, can you do that to our Grand Weapons? Make them stronger?”

“W-well… um… I can’t say for certain at the moment, but it might be possible eventually.”

“Then that is what I want. I will… get the standing for it. Then you will do it.”

Prima was really asking a lot from me. While being forceful and aggressive is part of Prima’s personality, I don’t even know if Grotte has any idea how to forge the metal weapons she wants me to promise her. I was just lucky to find that Grotte came to us with a metal hammer as it was and had been looking for something to do to keep herself occupied. Melting some iron weapons wasn’t hard, since Vera, Glace, and I could create enough heat with our magic to melt them down. Neither was casting them in sand molds while Grotte made sure they were completely flat with a few swings after they were removed. But that’s different thing altogether from forging a weapon, even if it’s just a piecemeal metal coating…

The plan I had to enjoy a lovey-dovey nostalgic day with Prima was kinda shot to hell now.

I also may have inadvertently caused trouble for Nova, as well.

The two of us headed back to Goblinhome without speaking to each other any further.

Just in time to find a visitor that I was not looking forward to seeing. Yeah, the Great Protector had dropped in for a visit.

Fuck!

My cheekbone still hurts from the punch that knocked the goblin right the fuck out of me.

 

~~ A little while later… ~~

 

“So, it’s a multipurpose amalgamation that you’re calling the Goblin’s Guild?”

“Pretty much.”

The Great Protector held one of the spare metal cards in its clawed hand. I could tell that it was channeling mana through the card in an effort to inspect it.

“It’s not made from Vernir, yet the enchantment is extremely high-level.”

“It took four of us to do it.”

“Magnificent. You could be a tower mage if you wanted, having made something like this.”

“Oh, I didn’t make it at all. Vera did.”

“Vera? That is the Guardian’s sister that stays with you?”

“That’s her, Glace’s Mother. She’s quite gifted when it comes to Formulaic Magic.”

The Great Protector placed the card down on the counter and moved closer to me.

“Ark. You reek of fear to the point it is tangible.  Is it my presence that is bothering you, or is it something else?”

“It’s… what happened when I was the monster…”

“Oh? Unsatisfied with the outcome back then? Do you wish to try again now that you are human?”

I took a deep breath and sighed.

“I’ll kindly decline your offer. I’m more confused as to why you didn’t kill me?”

“Why should I have? You were only doing what your most primal of instincts was driving you to do. Besides, your children were there, and as you’ve been doing such a good job as Husband to my precious Bloodmaw, I had the compassion not to, for their sakes. I even enjoyed soaking in the warm bath you made afterwards. I might even come as I please to enjoy it in the future as well!”

I always felt unnerved being around the Great Protector. Hearing that it might just randomly show up more often did nothing to relieve me of that feeling.

“Pardon me for intruding, Lord of the Forest.”

From the passageway leading from the Goblin’s Guild to the Orc residences just beyond, Orga Lush had taken only a single step into the room, bowing her head and crossing her hands in front of her body.

“You are free of your tribe’s customs in front of me, elder orc. How are you getting along here with my children?”

“The War Chief has given each of us luxurious caves to live in, plenty of good food to eat, and even some of the alcohol made by one of his mates who lives below us to drink. The goblins here treat us well, and so we have no complaints.”

“That is good. He might be a human, but he’s good with females and whelps. I wouldn’t have entrusted him with any of my children otherwise. If there are no problems involving the war-bride custom among you, then you may continue as you see fit.”

“Thank you, Lord of the Forest. I… I feel it prudent to ask this due to recent events which have taken place here. Do… these goblins share the same southern border as we orcs do?”

“They do.”

“Would… it possible for them to enter into the southern border, if only a short distance?”

“Is there something there that you seek?”

“I… am a tamer. Grushak Lush was my father.”

“Hoh. I have not heard that name from the lips of an orc since his tusks fell out. Does he still live?”

“No. But you honor us both by remembering him at all, Lord of the Forest.”

“Is he someone famous?” I asked.

“If I said the name Kurtholomew, would that answer your question?” The Great Protector replied.

Kurtholomew Laditz. One of the most famous monster tamers in the wider world that I’ve read about from books in my mother’s private library. He was a human, like me, having lived over two-hundred years ago. He was said to have tamed every monster in the world at least once and only met his end trying to tame the ultimate existence. A dragon. While the dragon was still extremely young, if he wasn’t already an old man nearing his end at the time, he might have even done it. Sadly, he died being swallowed… in two pieces. Still, he is a legend.

“Was her father that amazing?”

“To the point GUU’Z gave him the due respect he earned.”

If the Great Protector is the Lord of the Forest, then GUU’Z, being an emden goose, and the only one of its kind I have ever seen or heard about in this world, as there are no records of geese I have ever come across otherwise, is essentially the Area Boss around here. Prima has tried hunting it many times with no success. Diana Artemis as well. I remember her coming home with a large bite mark on her tiny tan butt which I then had to put some ointment on that Berry made while she had to reluctantly accept her first official loss in a hunt. She thought I would be disappointed in her, but when I told her that I had my ass bitten by that goose too while hunting it with Prima after her Blood Fury, she suddenly felt much better for some reason.

Incidentally, GUU’Z is a female, and friendly…ish. She accepts offerings of food—fish being the most ideal—and likes to be scratched softly on the back of her long downy neck. Old One has spoken with her once before, since she has the curse of tongues and all.  Her real name is Big Bessie, and if I really want to get in that goose’s good graces, I need to give it a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Old One has no idea what that is… but I do. I’m looking forward to when we might be able to farm wheat out here, just to see what comes of it.

“That is impressive. Sorry for interrupting, Orga Lush, please continue.”

“Yes, War Chief. Lord of the Forest, I would like you to grant permission to hunt shallowly in the Southern domain. The War Chief has shown interest in raising Shadow Wolves to hunt alongside his whelps. I know the Southern domain is highly dangerous, which is why I’m only asking for permission to delve shallowly across the border.”

“Are you intending to go yourself?”

“Only with a hunting party and my own two Shadow Wolves. These goblins have already proven themselves capable of besting us. I don’t believe it is beyond their ability to hunt around the borderland with the proper preparations.”

“Then I will speak with their Guardian. If she feels confident in bringing any of her tribe along on a hunt out there, I will allow it.”

“Thank you, Lord of the Forest. Also, though it may not be my place to do so, may I also address the Lord of the Forest regarding our Order, War Chief?”

“That’s fine. Go ahead.”

Orga Lush bowed her head to me.

“Grotte and Krushka have been given their Authority. Our youngest, Rushk, will receive hers in a few days, then I shall be last.”

“Is the delay beause she has refused?”

“No. There… are simply some concerns she has brought up to both the War Chief and myself which he felt were reasonable enough to allow a small delay. As Rushk has not mated before becoming a war-bride, she wishes… to prepare herself to suit the War Chief’s tastes of a… more mature orc. The War Chief has generously given her three days to ready herself in order to confidently mate with him.”

I thought Rushk appeared mature enough, but she has her own opinion on the matter and as I told her to speak with Orga Lush about things, I feel it’s best to let Orga Lush handle this matter entirely.

Meanwhile, the Great Protector shot me a gaze that said get it done by then, or else.

I swear, I’m always being put in these unreasonable situations.

“Very well. Do let the youngest know that I carry a vested interest in this matter. I would prefer not to hear something disappointing when I next return.”

“Yes, of course, Lord of the Forest. Thank you for sparing me these few moments of your precious time. You as well, War Chief. We look forward to tonight’s dinner.”

“Right. I’ll be there, Orga Lush.”

Orga bowed her head once again and quickly departed back to her cave.

“Two orcs already and you don’t appear to have any broken bones. I must say, you are quite durable for a human, Ark.”

“Just lucky, more like.”

The Great Protector laughed, which rattled my entire insides.

“Just what exactly is this vested interest that you have?”

“An interest which came to be after I returned your human companion to you some time ago. I’m sure I don’t need to explain it further.”

“Wait… you think that might happen?”

“I certainly am curious.”

I hadn’t even thought about that. It hasn’t been three days yet, but I’m pretty sure both Grotte and Krushka aren’t showing any signs of what happened to Stella…

“…”

“Is there something else, Ark?”

“Um… actually… there is.”

“Go ahead, I am listening.”

“Is… there a possibility we can get some seeds for planting?”

“You wish to perform agriculture here?”

“Some. One of my daughters, Melon, is quite good at making food everyone here likes to eat. Rather than overhunt the Bloodmaw’s domain, I’d like to supplement their diet with some vegetables, perhaps bread as well, which is why I’d also like to request wheat seeds, or barley among what you can bring us… whatever is available.”

“You have a daughter with a talent for working the field?”

“At the moment, no. But Lily just had Primrose, Berry is due sometime soon, Pear and Truffle are both coming along, and Vera just told me she…”

The Great Protector held up its hand to stop me.

“Very well. I can see you are being diligent in your duty as their Husband. I will look into the matter, but I cannot say when the seeds you want will be delivered.”

“Thank you.”

“You know what. I think I’ll go visit that bath you made again. It was rather relaxing.”

“R-right.”

Breathing a momentary sigh of relief, I couldn’t be happier that thing left my presence. What was worse was how stiff my dick was the entire time it was here.

Well, seeing as how I was already up here, and it was going down there… Perhaps I’ll pay Grotte a visit. I have a bit of hammering I feel like doing myself before I’d be back in my right mind anyway.