Chapter Fifty-nine – In which Ark contemplates his navel, gives important advice to Diana, and makes a deal with Prima as a concerned party.
It felt surreal.
I had wandered from Toy’s cave hole straight out of goblin-home and into the sun. It was well past noon, but there was still plenty of time to go until sundown. While standing near the fire-pit, I saw Stella, Prima, Jewel, and Doll come into the clearing from the treeline I wasn’t allowed to set foot past. They had come back together, all of them absolutely covered in blood from the mouth down, and carrying a fairly-well eaten carcass of… something.
When the four of them had reached me, Prima stopped to place a hand on my shoulder and speak.
“She’s good hunter.”
Was that high praise from her? I wasn’t quite sure. I can say with certainty Stella is fairly accurate with a bow in hand, but not much aside from that. I got a clear look at what she had killed now. The body had been torn into by three-no, four hungry goblins, but the face was intact and it was clearly that of a fox.
“That’s good to hear.” I answered.
“We not go near stream, so we all go take bath now, then Berry show her cave-hole to pick.”
I nodded.
“Please use the shower before you just go in. Vera should be inside and able to turn it on.” I asked politely.
Stella, who had been carrying the bloodied fox around her neck, had walked up to me and gave me a bloody kiss full of a metallic taste that made me want to wretch, as well as a rough squeeze down below.
“I’ll make sure to give you a nice juicy piece later, Husband.”
Then she walked off into the cave with the others trailing behind her, all laughing raucously. But even if it was only for a moment, I saw Prima turn her head back, just long enough to meet my stare.
I walked to the limits of the self-imposed cage of trust I was in, and sat down.
Five steps in front of me was a wide gap between two trees, and I wondered what I was really doing here. I think Stella’s sudden change in behavior was a bit too much for me to accept so suddenly. I closed my eyes and tried to center myself. Though I hadn’t been doing it much, it was something I was taught from a young age in this world: Mana Meditation.
Mana is some kind of ever-present force. Using force magic is the same as being conscious of the feeling of blood flowing through every major vein in your body, charging and changing the very nature of it with intent, and pushing that intent outwards. In the case of magic, there’s a separate organ that handles circulating and distributing mana throughout the body.
There are ten circles in the realm of magic. This applies to both force and formulaic magic, and each circle is exponential in terms of power. I have managed to break through to the second circle, which is not a small achievement. Part of the reason I’m not further along is because of my common sense stepping in the way in places. The truth of the matter is, I’m probably far more suitable to formula magic, because it does operate a bit on logic, like math or programming. I’m not a coder or anything, nor does formulaic magic have the same syntax as say… Javascript. It’s sort of just like a puzzle, and a lot of it is intuitive. Like speaking gob. If you can only make sense out of a few words, they have to be accurate to convey meaning.
I’m not a cheat character. I wasn’t given any exceptional talent upon my rebirth into this world, and everything I learned was through hard work. The only reason I became an adventurer was because I felt caged at home under the impossible expectations my mother had. A secondary reason would be related to the fact that there is no world map or globe. This world still had plenty of places which remained undiscovered to human knowledge, like it would have been in my previous world in the times before the age of sail allowed Mercator to complete his map. There were plenty of theories abound as to what was out there, but no concrete proof. There were sapient races other than humans, and of course plenty of creatures possessed of vast intelligence and unknown agendas.
I had never really felt that from any of these goblins. Not Prima, certainly not Berry. But I felt it, finally. With Stella, just now… I felt it. I felt it in that bloody kiss.
“What is Husband doing?”
A sharp blade rested against my neck. The small hand that held it told me all I needed to know about the wielder of it. I reached up to grab the hand that held it, and squeezed it tight, making sure she felt the resistance of the long knife as it pressed hard against my neck.
“I’m enjoying the thought of running through the forest, past any black trees, streams, or big rocks that might get in my way. All the way back to where the humans live. I’m not a brave hunter, though you might for some reason think I am. Let me tell you now, that it’s a kindness to kill a human by holding the blade hard against the neck and pulling it across while pushing deep into the skin. It’s the fastest way to kill one. Just remember to go from one side to the other in one deep stroke. That is called mercy, Diana Artemis. Please do this one thing for your daddy, if it’s you who catches me first.”
I let go of the strong grip I had on her hand. Diana didn’t drop the long knife either. She had killed bears and wolves already. I, on the other hand, was an entirely unarmed human who hadn’t ever killed anything with a bladed weapon.
“Husband want be killed?”
“Not really. If I did, I wouldn’t be five steps from the trees, I would be within the forest.”
“Then, Husband want go hunt?”
“I just don’t want to go back in the cave right now. That’s all.”
“Want Diana Artemis sit with you?”
“Only if you want to spend some time with me.”
My eldest daughter took a seat next to me, placing the long knife in her lap.
“Why did Husband’s human become goblin?”
“I wish I knew. For as many things that I do know, there are many many more things I don't. But I do know one thing for sure that will never ever change. I love you and your sisters very much.”
“Love? What is that?”
“It is a feeling you have in your heart. It is wanting to make someone happy, even if it means you have to be sad in order to do it. Because for even a moment, you believe someone else is more important than yourself.”
“Sound stupid.”
“Yep. It’s the stupidest feeling in the world, and yet there isn’t a single one I know that feels better. Not even the thrill of killing a great beast and feasting on it triumphantly after you nearly die in the hunt, while your heart beats wildly in your chest the whole time.”
Diana shifted in place.
“Lilac and Orchid come with me on hunt.” She informed me.
I placed a hand on her head, ruffling her short hair for a moment.
“Remember to keep them safe and stay clever on your hunt. If they make any mistakes that you need to punish them for, make sure they know why you did it and that you give them the proper instruction they need to know so that they can learn how to correct their mistakes and not do it again. And only after you all are safe, you hear me? You and your sisters aren’t just Bloodmaw goblins, you are my precious strong ones. That means a part of you is also human, even if it doesn’t show very well on the outside. If you find that the goblin way of hunting isn’t working well, don’t be afraid to try thinking like a human. I know you understand what I mean, because that was what we did with those Black-claws. The most important thing is to know when to fight, and when to run. Just like Prima and Jewel who were safe up in the tree showed you. As long as you and your sisters are alive, you can find a way to eventually win any battle, even if you are few and they are many.”
“Husband strong. Diana Artemis listen what tell.”
“No trophy is more important to me than you are. You alone are what I am proud of, Diana. All the bear claw in that cave-hole does is to remind me of how lucky I am to have you as a daughter.”
“When we make first kill on hunt, Berry, Lily, Lilac, Orchid, and Husband all eat same time. Only us.”
I chuckled.
“Alright. I’ll look forward to being treated to a meal by my brave goblin huntress, my daughter of the moon, my princess of the forest, and my goddess of the hunt.”
Diana got up and plucked her long knife from the ground.
“When is your hunt?” I asked her.
“When sun rises, tomorrow.” She answered.
“Hunt well, Diana Artemis.”
Diana left me be, and I returned to my meditation for another short while. Feeling strangely replenished, I returned to the cave and stopped by Prima’s cave-hole immediately. It was empty, and I felt like keeping my distance from Stella right now, so I began working on a room expansion until she got back.
“Husband, why in Prima’s room?”
“I promised to make your cave hole bigger.”
“Not touch anything?”
“Not yet. I was waiting for you to get back.”
“Husband want something?”
“Two things, and I’m willing to trade for them.”
“Trade? Prima listen…”
“Do you give weapons to goblin strong ones when they go on their first hunt?”
“Strong ones get weapon from goblin who make them, or find and use bones from dead beasts. If goblin want one of Prima’s weapons, must trade for it.”
“Diana is going to take Orchid and Lilac on a hunt at sunrise tomorrow. I want you to keep an eye on them without being seen, and step in only if their lives are in danger. I trust you are a good enough hunter to do that?”
“This what Husband want to trade for? Diana already strong, kill many Black-claws. Husband there, see with own eyes.”
“Can you accept that I’m still worried for her and Lily’s girls? I’ll talk with Lily and see what she plans on giving those two for weapons.”
“What Husband offer trade?”
“A fat belly.”
“Husband make Prima belly become fat?”
“I don’t know how to control it, but my trade is that I won’t leave your room after tonight until I somehow do it.”
Prima laughed wildly. “Vera say she next goblin have fat belly from Husband.”
“Hmm, I don’t remember promising her that.” I answered squarely.
“Husband come here, promise Prima instead?”
“It’s not a promise. I’m trading you that.”
“Deal.” Prima said without an ounce of hesitation.
“Husband stay in Prima cave-hole tonight?”
“As part of our deal. I’ll stay here until your belly is fat.”
“Prima wake up with fat belly… might not be able do what ask.”
“Then you’ll be responsible for finding someone who can, if that happens.”
Prima grinned.
“Husband make better goblin than other human.”
“I’d rather not talk about her right now.”
“Ark. Not care for her now that she goblin?”
“I said I don’t want to talk about her!” I had almost raised my voice to a level where I was challenging her. I immediately took a step back and softened my voice.
“Anyway, if the deal is done here, I’ll come back in a little while.”
“She not pick the cave-hole Husband made.” Prima said to me as I turned around.
“Then you don’t have to call her human anymore.” I said and walked out of Prima’s cave knowing it was already going to be the case. Whatever I did to Stella, it was enough to steal her humanity away. I couldn’t save her. I didn’t have the right to save her. Whatever I thought I could do to help was only going to have the opposite effect, and remind her of what she’s lost.
Stella’s complete one-eighty change in personality had definitely unsettled me. I had half a thought that goblins were inside-out humans. All the ugliness and pettiness and uncivilized feelings we all carry around inside of us… that’s why humans hate goblinkind so much. It’s like looking into a mirror. I don’t doubt my own mirror would reflect such an image, either. But I’m not green on the outside yet. If I ever develop a taste for bloody meat, it’s time to starve to death, or become a complete herbivore.