HP: The Big Bad Wolf

[Part 01: Well, I fucked around and found out.]

Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you knew you had done everything right, but still ended up losing or getting punished? Well, that's pretty much where I'm at right now. It's like my shitty siblings had it coming, but I'm the one getting punished for delivering divine retribution on them.

I'm standing in front of a dude who's just about as fast, strong, and cunning as me, and I have no idea why these motherfuckers are cock blocking me. All I wanted to do was visit the States, meet some local gangsters, and beat the living shit out of them, declaring their turf as my own.

But when I moved to punch the guy in the face, he blocked it. He fucking blocked my punch, and not only that, but that son of a bitch threw one of his own. Naturally, I'm not a retard to let myself get punched, so I dodged, but things escalated quickly.

Now, he and I are running all around the base, trying to land a solid hit, but this moron isn't standing still, and he's much better at fighting than me. After all, neither my former self nor Severus had any training in martial arts or fighting. All I did was abuse the shit out of my superior physical stats, but it seems this time I've bitten off more than I can chew.

And the most annoying part on my end is that I came here too full of myself. I didn't wait for the full moon, and I arrived like two weeks too early. 'If I were at full power, I'd rip this bastard to shreds,' I curse internally for the millionth time.

"Okay, time out!" the bastard suddenly calls out.

"Tired out already?" I ask the idiot, taunting him.

"You wish, I could do this all night long. But I don't even know who you are or why you're attacking our home," he says with a hint of curiosity mixed into his voice.

*Huh*

"What is there not to know?" I retort somewhat shocked at the revelation that a gangster wonders why he is being attacked.

"Why are you attacking our home?" he asks more directly.

"I am not attacking anyone's home, moron! Iam taking over your turf!" I reply indignantly.

"Taking over our turf?!" I hear someone questioning me from behind me.

"Yes! You are attacking our home," a woman says from also from behind me.

I turn around without leaving the guy I have been fighting out of my sight, and realize that I am actually surrounded by several individuals.

'Great! Fucking fuckery of fucks! I have myself outnumbered, and encircled like an idiot!' I think annoyed.

"What do you mean, stupid?! I am attacking no homes, but hideouts!! I beat up a few gangsters, got this address from them, and now I am here to take over your turf. In, well, gangster-like style," I explain, a bit annoyed at being outnumbered, and questioned by a sexy ass blonde.

'Seems, like I have a thing for blondes.' I conclude.

I did not want to use magic, but I will if they all attack at once.

"And what was the address?" the blonde, gold-eyed girl asks me.

"Bourbon Street!" I throw at her.

"You are an idiot!" she says, annoyed.

"Why? Why am I the idiot?! You are the idiot for having your minions disclose your location! Also, you are an idiot, your whole family is full of idiots! Idiot!" I retort childishly, feeling especially annoyed by her.

"This is Royal Street! You are miles away from Bourbon Street, dumbass," she says, exasperated, as she points at me with her finger.

"What?! Stop lying!" I know my sense of direction is screwed, I even wished for a map to counter this weakness of mine, but at most I did take my eyes off the map for just five minutes!! There is no way I managed to get lost in five minutes with an integrated map!! God, dear god, please no!!!

"You, Mr. Idiot, are in the wrong place!" she says.

"Also, who in their right mind just throws a punch as soon as they see the door being opened for them?" the brown-haired boy asks me curiously.

*Sigh*

'I screwed up big time.'

"He gets it now!" I hear another voice commenting.

"So, who and what are you people?" I ask them, trying to pretend the last thirty minutes or so did not just happen.

"You are an idiot!" the girl says one last time before turning away and leaving.

"Haha, I like your mentality, bro," the guy I was fighting with until now breaks out laughing.

"Thanks, I guess," I reply.

"You're a Brit, right?" another one asks me.

"Yes, I am! How did you know?" I inquire curiously.

"Well, your accent is a dead giveaway," comes his reply. What did I expect?

"So?! How about you answer my earlier questions?" I press.

"Wanna come in for tea?" he asks, dodging the question.

"Sure, I want answers. And as a good Brit, I will never say no to tea," I answer happily.

'Well, being a tea drinker in my last life makes me that much more fond of sitting down and drinking tea. Albeit, I never found out why people drink the stuff. Also, if I can get these people on my side it would be amazing.'

"Great! Let me show you the way," he says as he leads me further in, and for some odd reason, their house is kind of strange.

After entering the main door, you find yourself in some sort of garage or large room. As you venture further in, you start descending, until you finally reach the living quarters, which are underground.

Minutes later, I am sitting down in what is their living room, and waiting to finally get the tea that was offered to me without a worry in the world.

I mean, most poisonous substances aren't actually harmful to me, and I highly doubt that they'll rely on those means to get to me.

"So?" I ask.

"We are a Vampire Coven," the one I was fighting says with a smirk.

"Wow!" I says shocked.

"Yeah, Vampires are a thing!" he says happy that he managed to shock me.

"I have read and heard about vampires, but I have not encountered them, or thought I'd be encountering some of your kind," I reply while I now am more focused on these people.

'Vampires?! GREAT!' I think happily.

"So who are you?" the guy I fought asks me.

'Should I be honest?' I ask myself.

"You better be," comes a voice from the other end of the room, where a boy is sitting down and reading a book.

"Did that fugly Gaylord just read my mind?!" I ask incredulously.

"Hahaha... Edward, he found you out!!!" the dude I was about to beat the living shit out of says, laughing.

"First of all, I am not gay, and second, you weren't about to beat anyone!" comes Gayward's dry comment.

"Yes! Yes you are!" I say.

"I am not gay!" says the self-proclaimed Gaylord.

"Can you stop with the narration in your head? You're giving me a headache!" Gayward says.

*Sigh*

I try to occlude my mind.

'Try reading my mind now, Gayward, and tell me what number I am thinking of! I wanna test something out!' I think.

(*Can you read my mind, Gayward?! I'm thinking of the number 3!!*)

"Da fuck?! His mind disappeared!!" Edward exclaims.

"What?" the fighter asks.

(*Ahh, so it works if I actively try to hide my mind! Good to know.*) I think with a satisfied grin.

*Sparkle*

"Here comes the tea!" I hear someone saying as the man who invited me in brings in a can of tea, but with only one cup. Well, they're Vampires, so they won't be drinking any tea.

'More for me!' I think happily.

"How did you do it?!" Gayward asks me annoyed, but I professionally ignore the rude little shit.

"So, I am Severus Snape. Nice to meet you! And what's your name?!" I ask the fighter.

"A bit late, but I am Emmett," the 'fighter' Emmett introduces himself.

"Nah, it is never too late to introduce oneself," I say, trying to make myself more likeable.

(*Gayward and Emmett?! And they are vampires?! I knew there are Vampires in the HP World, but how are they here?!*)

"You disappeared again!" Gayward complains.

"I don't know what you are talking about!" I say to him.

"How are you doing it?!" Gayward demands to know.

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Greetings, everyone!

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