Homestar Saga

Five hundred Peacekeeper units marched out of the ship, bearing the proud gold and blue voidarmors of the Pixen Technocracy. They slaughtered the security forces in seconds. The machines broke up into groups of twenty, sprinting for their different objectives. Bright Lady forgive all who got in their way.

Yvian's comm chirped. It was an N-mail. She pulled it up on her wrist console to find a message from Captain Mims. She checked the sensors. Mims had left his group of Peacekeepers. He was running for Docking Bay 5.

"THIS IS BASICALLY A DECLARATION OF WAR. WE CAN'T BE INVOLVED. LISSA, HEAD BACK TO THE SHIP. YVIAN AND I WILL MEET YOU THERE."

Yvian frowned. Why was Mims using the Nexus to communicate? The Nexus itself was secure enough, but accessing it through the station's comms almost guaranteed they'd be overheard. "Kilroy," she asked. "Is something wrong with the comms."

"Negative," said the Peacekeeper.

Yvian received another N-Mail. From her sister, this time.

"FUCK THAT. I WARNED THOSE MOTHERLESS PRICKS."

Lissa was still on the Promenade. She had no intention of returning to the ship.

Mims spoke directly over the comms. "Lissa, I know you're pissed, but this is beyond the scope of our contract. Delivering a message and transporting some people is one thing. Attacking a Confed station is something else. We're not assassins. We're privateers. Head back to the ship."

"They deserve-" Lissa started.

"I don't care," Mims cut her off. "Get back to the ship or we're leaving without you."

A moment of silence. Then a grudging, "Yes, Captain."

"Yvian," Mims commed. "Our jobs canceled. Kick the soldiers out of our docking bay. Make sure they know we aren't picking up any pixens, today."

"Uh..." Cancelled? What the Crunch was he talking about? "Yes Captain." She turned to Kilroy. "Do you know what's going on?"

"Captain Mims is providing legal cover," the machine explained. "Fico station records all transmissions sent through its comms. This unit has already instructed the units holding the Command Center to delete Lissa's earlier transmissions."

Yvian's comm pinged. It was one of the Peacekeepers guarding the Encounter. "Don't bother. We're leaving." The unit spoke in a nasally, punchable voice. He didn't sound like a Peacekeeper unit at all. Yvian had gotten so used to the way Kilroy and his fellows talked, she'd forgotten they could speak like normal people when they wanted. His voice was full of scorn. "We should have known a human and a motherless wouldn't have the stomach for this." The Peacekeepers moved out at a brisk walk, leaving the Random Encounter to sit in it's bay, surrounded by unconscious enemies.

Squads (platoons? Strike teams?) of Peacekeepers sprinted down the corridors, killing every security guard they came across. The station's defenders were helpless against human levels of technology and firepower. Yvian wasn't sure what she should do. She could (maybe) stop them, or at least make them go back to using stunshots. The units would listen to her just as they had listened to Lissa.

Changing their orders would undermine Lissa. It would start a fight and look bad in front of the units. The Captain would be forced to step in. Yvian didn't know if he would come down on her side or not. Still, awkwardness and troop morale were small excuse when so many lives were at stake.

Yvian didn't give a shit about the Guild. They were monsters and always had been. But security? Most of them were just people. People getting by as best they could. Did they really deserve to die? Yvian hesitated a moment longer, reached for her comm, then remembered anything she transmitted would be recorded.

"Kilroy?" she asked. "Can you get the other Peacekeepers a message without the station picking it up."

"Affirmative," said Kilroy. His eyes flashed red. "This unit will not revoke the authorization for lethal force."

"What?" Yvian didn't bother asking how he knew what she wanted. She wasn't exactly unpredictable. "Why not?"

"You were not raised on a Trelg station," the machine told her. "It is understandable you do not know. Pixens in Trelg space are subjected to a systematic terror campaign. The Guilds organize it, but it is carried out by station security. Security Officers who refuse to beat, rape, murder, and enslave pixens are not retained."

"You mean..." Yvian glanced back at the sensors. Nearly a thousand pixens milled around the promenade. Other smaller groups traveled under the protection of Peacekeeper units, heading for the Recompense. "All of them? All this time?"

"Pixens in Confederation space are never treated well," said Kilroy. His eyes were still glowing. "The extent of that mistreatment varies from nation to nation. The Trelg are the most egregious offenders."

Yvian's eyes narrowed. She still remembered her treatment at the hands of the Flerg Miltia. The fury and the helplessness, beaten and used by thugs backed by the authority of the law. They'd laughed, enjoying every moment, secure in the knowledge there was nothing she could do. That they would not be stopped. She'd killed those men, but that had only been an option because of Mims. For these people, that sort of treatment was a fact of life. Security would do whatever they wanted, secure in the knowledge there was nothing the pixens could do.

She regarded the sensors a moment longer. "You're right." She nodded. "Fuck those guys."

No wonder so many pixens were willing to leave. The idea that a habitable world had been found and belonged to pixens was far fetched to begin with, and the Confederation had gone out of its way to point that out. Even if they hadn't, New Pixa sounded too good to be true. Yvian had only expected a few dozen people to take the risk. Only the most desperate. She'd never guessed the most desperate would include nearly all of them.

Lissa arrived a few minutes later. "What's happening? Why did Mims say we're cancelling?"

"There is a contract in the ship logs," Kilroy informed her. "The contract states you will deliver a message to Overseer Tem and the Guild officials on this station, then provide transport for pixens who wish to travel to New Pixa."

"What? We don't have a contract." Lissa took off her helmet, frowning. "This whole operation is ours."

"Incorrect," said the unit. "The contract was added to ship logs four minutes ago. The time stamp was altered to show we received it two days ago."

"Why would you...Oh shit." Lissa's eyes widened. "I just declared war on the confed."

"Affirmative," said Kilroy, "But station records will show you did not. The Pixen Technocracy will have declared war, while we were merely contractors attempting to do a job."

"Fucking Crunch." Lissa ran a hand through her hair.

"It cannot be avoided," the Peacekeeper's eyes flashed red again. "Security on this station was attempting to capture pixen employees and outfit them with slave implants. It is unlikely they did this without direction from Trelg Pleasure Guild executives. It is unlikely that the Trelg Pleasure Guild executives will stop with this station alone."

"Motherless sons..." Yvian glared at the sensors. "Does the Recompense have enough room to evacuate every pixen on the station?"

"Negative," said Kilroy. "This unit has sent for additional vessels. They will arrive in twenty three hours, four minutes."

"Ok." Yvian checked the holodisplay again. Mims had reached the docking bay. He was still running full tilt. He'd be on board in another minute. "What about everyone else?"

"Everyone else?" Lissa raised an eyebrow.

"The pixens on the other stations," Kilroy surmised. "There are approximately twenty million pixens in Trelg space. It is unknown how many will be targeted for slave processing."

"Can we get to them?" Lissa asked. "Do we have enough ships to evacuate that many?"

"Without a time limit, one ship would be enough to evacuate that many," said Kilroy. "The question is how many pixens will be sent to slave processing in the interim, and whether or not we will be able to save them."

"We can sort that out once Mims gets back," Yvian decided. Kilroy's eyes were still red. Yvian regarded him curiously. "You know, you seem awfully invested in this. I didn't think Peacekeeper units would care so much about my people."

"Pixens are not your people," Kilroy chided. "Pixens are our people. They are fellow citizens, and this unit has been tasked with their protection and well being." The red in his eyes glowed brighter. "Threats and harm inflicted on them are an insult to this and all Peacekeeper units."

"Oh." Yvian scratched her head. She'd worked with the machine for months. Sometimes she forgot how Fucking Dangerous he was. When she was reminded it scared The Crunch out of her. "That's... good... I think."

"I don't think it bodes well for the people on Fico station," Lissa pointed out.

"It does not." Kilroy turned to regard the Holodisplay. A Peacekeeper strike team had reached the Guild Headquarters. They were forcing their way inside. "Every member of the Guild and station security will die. Every tourist, civilian, or member of station personnel that has abused a pixen will die."

"Better scratch that last part." Mims huffed as he jogged onto the bridge. "I agree with the sentiment, but we're not going to kill civilians just for being assholes." He slowed to a walk, heading for navigation. "Besides, civilians casualties will negatively affect Pixa's reputation as a country."

"Affirmative." Kilroy simulated a sigh. "No civilians. Can we still kill the others?"

"Hell yes," said the human. "They're slavers. Slavers don't get mercy." Mims took up navigation control. The Random Encounter hummed as it's engines roared to life. "Helmets on, ladies. We're heading out. Kilroy's people will take it from here."