Homestar Saga

"We have to get her back." Lissa Kiver donned her helmet. She sat at her console and pulled up flight controls.

"We can't," said the Captain.

Lissa's head snapped around. "Did you see what they're doing to her?"

"I saw." Mims scratched the back of his head. "But we still can't."

"The Recompense isn't operational, yet," Yvian cut in. "If we don't have stealth, the pirates-"

"Fuck the pirates," Lissa cut her off. "We'll kill anyone that gets in our way."

"The pirates aren't the problem," the human told her. "And neither is the Recompense. We've got another stealth cruiser if we need it." The hanger bay doors opened. Lissa maneuvered the Random Encounter out into the void. "Where are you taking us?"

"After them," Lissa snapped back. Then she paused, thinking. "Crunch."

"And that's the problem," said Mims. "We don't know who these people are. We don't know where they're keeping the hostage."

"We've got twelve hours to find out," Lissa declared.

"That's not enough time," said Mims. "Even if it was, the hostage will be killed the second we start sniffing around. They'll space her and disappear."

"So, what?" Lissa demanded. "We're just supposed to let her die?" The Encounter sped away from the shipyard, speeding towards the hidden entrance to their hollowed out asteroid. "It's not like we can give them what they want. The Xill haven't given us the planet, yet."

"Wouldn't help if we did," Mims told her. "They'll kill her as soon as they get what they want."

Lissa stared at him. Yvian could not discern her expression through the helmet. "You don't care at all, do you? You hate my mother."

"I do hate your mother," Mims admitted. "If it were up to me, I'd say goodbye and good riddance." Lissa took a sharp intake of breath, but before she could speak the Captain continued, "but it's not up to me. Your fights are my fights, remember? We'll do everything in our power to save the hostage."

"We know you love her," Yvian added. She put a hand on her sister's shoulder. "We won't let her die."

Lissa was quiet for a moment. She said, "She's not just 'the hostage,' you know. She has a name."

"Not right now she doesn't," said the Captain. "We need to be objective if we're going to do the hostage any good." He glanced meaningfully out the viewport. "If we get too emotional we might just blast off into the void without a plan."

Lissa brought the Random Encounter to a stop. "Okay." She took a breath. She took off her helmet. She breathed out. "Okay. So how are we going to get her back?"

"We can't," Mims said again. "Not by ourselves." He sat down at his console. "But I know someone who can."

Mims sent out a comm request. A voice answered. "I'm with my family right now, Mims. This had better be important."

"It is," Mims assured the voice. "I need a comm trace and a strike team."

"No."

"No?" The Captain's brow furrowed.

"You know the agreement, Mims. Venturetech will not assist you with your personal battles. We are a business. We are not your private army."

"I'm not breaking the agreement, Mondi," said Mims. "This is a special case."

"It's Mr. Starlost to you, human," Mondi said coldly. "And the answer is no."

Mondi Starlost? Yvian's eyes went wide. The CEO of Venturetech was something of a public figure. He was one of the richest most powerful men in the Confed. Even Yvian knew who he was, and she almost never watched the news. A second later she had to resist the urge to slap her own forehead. Of course Mims knew the CEO of Venturetech. He owned the company.

"No it isn't," Mims told him. "I agreed not to drag Venturetech into personal conflicts, but this is a business matter. You'll help deal with it or I'll fire your smug ass and hire someone else."

"Do it, then," Mr. Starlost dared him. "I'll retire and take my entire staff with me. We'll see how long you can hold this company together on your own."

"This wouldn't be necessary if you'd done your job right and maintained information security," Mims growled. "Now some other company knows about the Homestar Project. They've taken Lissa's mother."

"Lissa Kiver?" Mr. Starlost grunted. "You should have led with that. Put her on the comm."

Captain Mims nodded at Lissa. "Mondi?" her voice trembled. "They took my mom."

"I'm sorry, Ms. Kiver." The Venturetech CEO's voice softened. "But don't worry. We'll get her back."

Lissa sniffled. "Thank you."

"Venturetech takes care of its own," Mr. Starlost told her. "My offer still stands, by the way. Any time you tire of traipsing the void with that degenerate human, we would welcome you to a more permanent position. In the meantime, sit tight. We'll find your mother, and everyone who touched her will pay the price. You have my word."

"We appreciate it," said the Captain.

"I wasn't talking to you Mims," the CEO snapped. "I was talking to Ms. Kiver." His voice softened again. "I know you're scared, but it will be alright. I have to go now, but I'll contact you once we have it taken care of. Alright?"

"Okay," said Lissa. "I can send you the comm they sent me."

"No need," Mr. Starlost told her. "This will take a few hours. I know you're worried, but I need you to stay where you are and not do anything else." His voice sharpened again. "That goes for you too, Mims."

"I got it," the Captain sounded annoyed.

"You'd better." The CEO warned. "This is business. I don't need some trigger happy privateer messing things up and getting Lissa's mother killed." He went back to talking nice. "Alright, Lissa. I have to go, now, but don't worry. We'll take care of you, and I'll let you know as soon as we have your mother in hand. Alright?"

"Alright," Lissa agreed. "Thanks, Mondi."

"Think nothing of it," said the CEO. "Venturetech takes care of its own." He ended the transmission.

The Captain leaned back in his chair, thoughtful. "I've never heard him be that nice before."

"Of course you haven't." Lissa blew her nose, then continued. "He hates you."

"Yeah, I guess he's not too fond of humans." Mims scratched the back of his head.

"It's not cause you're human," Lissa told him.

"Because I'm his boss, then?"

"It's because you're a dick."

The Captain shrugged.

"So what do we do now?" Yvian asked.

Mims shrugged again. "We wait. Starlost'll handle it." He frowned. "We might want to put the Encounter back in the docking bay."

"What makes you so sure he can find her?" Lissa asked. She'd stopped crying, but she still looked very worried. Yvian was worried, too, though it annoyed her to admit it.

"Venturetech runs the Nexus Network," Mims reminded them. "They can see every comm that's gone through a Node. Starlost will know who contacted you in minutes, and the location of every person involved within the hour. They'll have a strike team on a ship with a jumpdrive almost as fast, and corporate strike teams are Fucking Dangerous. Even I wouldn't want to tangle with them."

"That's..." Yvian thought through the implications. "That's a lot of power. They could spy on the competition, blackmail officials, all sorts of things."

"All sorts," Mims agreed. "We can even turn a wrist console into a listening device, like the Xill are doing. Venturetech has a lot of juicy contracts with government agencies for that kind of service." He shrugged. "But that's not really important. What matters is they can find the bastards, and they've got a reasonable chance of getting to them undetected."

Yvian frowned. "I don't like the idea of handing off the rescue to someone else."

"I don't either." Mims let out a sigh. "But it's the best way." He looked down at Lissa. She was staring down at the flight controls, wiping her nose again. "Can you take over the bridge for a while? I think Lissa needs a beer."

"I think she needs a hug," said Yvian. "Crunch, I think I need a hug." Her eyes watered, but Yvian refused to let the tears fall. "She was my mother, too. Once."

Mims clapped a hand on her shoulder and gave it a squeeze. "Why don't you two head to the kitchen. I'll join you once we're docked."

"And you'll bake us a cake?" Lissa asked.

Mims reached out to her, and she launched out of her chair to wrap him up in a hug. "I'll bake you a cake." He stroked her hair. "Any kind you want."

Lissa started to cry again. To The Crunch with it. Yvian wrapped her arms around both of them, willingly participating in a group hug for the first time in her life.