Home for Horny Monsters

“Ow, fuck!” Mike winced as Naia inspected the large bruise forming above his hip bone where Abella had squeezed him with her stony thighs. The Mandragora plant had actually injured him less than the gargoyle had, surprisingly enough. Save for some scrapes on his hands (well, and not being eaten), he was fine.

“Yeah, that will sting for a while.” Naia placed a kiss on it. “You had me so worried! I’ve never seen the Mandragora do that before. You’re going to need to feed it pretty soon.”

“Yeah, that’s right. Meat and cheese and wine. We’re going on a picnic next Wednesday.” Mike informed her.

“Oh, really? I think that’s a great idea,” Naia said. “She’ll love that!”

“Wait, the plant…” Mike felt a cold sweat break out on his forehead, even though he was standing naked in the fountain. “It can…it can…”

“I’m just kidding, goofball. The Mandragora can’t leave the greenhouse.” Naia glanced over at Abella. She sat in the water, her wings pulled close to her body, watching the tiny water spheres circle the fountain, glowing with their own inner light. The sun was setting on the other side of the house, and the garden was cast into darkness, save for Naia’s magic spheres. “You need to be more careful, Abella. Mike isn’t made of steel.”

“I know,” Abella grumbled, flicking the water with her finger. “Felt really good though.”

“That part I get,” Naia agreed. “And I’m grateful you got to him before he was eaten. None of this would have happened if you hadn’t picked that little cubby to hole up in.”

“I was tired of washing off bird shit,” Abella said, popping a bubble with her talon. It reformed on the other side of the fountain. “If I had known Emily was going to croak, I wouldn’t have come down here. It wouldn’t have mattered if the Mandragora hadn’t broken loose.”

“And that’s the peril of living here,” Naia agreed. “The Mandragora wouldn’t have broken out if Tink had spotted the cracked windows. Tink wouldn’t have slept for so long if a new guardian had been selected in a reasonable amount of time. I’m actually kind of worried about what other surprises await us as we discover more of the house. I can’t imagine that the Mandragora is the only potential danger.”

“There’s an easy solution,” Abella said. “We need to make sure that someone is with him at all times. Currently, any time he is outside the house, he is under my care.”

“You can come inside,” Mike offered. “There’s no reason for you to be out here.”

“There is, actually. I’m a living statue-not only am I likely to damage the interior of the house, but my kind hates being indoors. I come inside only for emergencies.”

“Oh.” Mike sat on the edge of the fountain. The water was warm, heated by Naia’s magic. “If guardianship is so important, then why didn’t Emily have something set up in advance?”

Naia shrugged, her greenish-blue hair shifting along the curves of her breasts. She was wearing her simple gown currently, which Mike actually preferred. It gave her some wonderful cleavage to look at. “It seems like there was a reason, but it’s been gobbled up for me. I remember arguing about it with her, but there are definitely gaps.”

“Which means it involves another monster.” Mike frowned at the water. “It seems like inheriting this home in itself is like a trial of sorts. If I’m not qualified for the job, something could kill me.”

Naia and Abella exchanged looks. “Someone with him at all times,” they both said.

“Well, that just means Tink needs to stick with me when I’m indoors,” Mike said.

“Anytime you go exploring, anyway. Currently, you’ve restricted your explorations to out here, and unless you go back in the greenhouse, you should be fine.”

‘And I need to feed the Mandragora, apparently. Any other plants living in there I should worry about?”

Naia shrugged, but Abella nodded.

“Yes, actually. The forest inside the greenhouse is an extension of the house. The plants being grown in there are there for a reason. Think of it like a little herb garden, but with spell components. A wizard would kill for access to it- I imagine that there are things in there that might even be extinct in the wild.”

“Wait, wizards? Those are real too?” Mike looked to Naia, who just rolled her eyes at him. “Yeah, I guess that makes sense.”

“They aren’t as prevalent in those pigwarts books,” Naia told him. 

“Hogwarts,” Mike corrected her.

“Whatever. Last I heard, the wizards of this realm were extremely limited in number. Less than forty total since Merlin sealed away magic for humans. Maybe one person a century figures out how to do magic, and usually the others track him down and kill him.”

“Holy shit.” Mike shook his head. “That’s insane.”

“Now you know why monsters and magic items are so coveted. For some, it’s the only way to gain any true power.” Naia tilted her head at Abella. “Gargoyles are impervious to most normal means. Neither blade nor flame can scratch their hides, and they are extremely strong. There are few places in the world that could protect you from a gargoyle attack. With just Abella at your side, you could have your enemies killed with little fear of recourse.”

“Well, not that I really do that now,” Abella added. “I’m bound to the house. Unless such a task involves the long term protection of this place, I can’t fly very far from here without feeling a strong urge to return.”

“So, if I was in trouble a mile from here, you would come for me?” Mike asked.

“If I knew you were in trouble, potentially. It would need to be a situation dire enough that I knew your chances of survival were slim.” Abella shrugged, her stony breasts shifting. “I’m more like a bouncer than anything else.”

“How do you know what a bouncer is?” Mike asked.

“Please. I’m not that sheltered.” Abella popped another bubble. “I have a people fetish. I watch lots of TV.”

“Outside?” Mike asked. 

“Emily would leave the window open for me sometimes,” Abella said. “It’s not like I need sleep or anything.”

“Aren’t you supposed to be watching the house?” Mike asked.

“Gargoyles have phenomenal hearing,” Abella told him. “If it’s quiet enough, I can hear a heartbeat from twenty feet.”

“Whoa.” Mike said.

“Speaking of which, Tink is looking for you. I can hear her calling your name.” Abella informed him. 

“She’s probably worried. I’ve been gone all day.” Mike walked in the back door listening carefully. He heard noise from the kitchen, and found Tink digging through a junk drawer full of random crap.

“Hey there.” Tink jumped at the sound of his voice. Her body was covered in dirt and grime, and even cobwebs. “Where have you been?”

“Checking pipes,” Tink informed him, beaming a smile. “Easy fix.”

“What are you looking for in there?” Mike asked. 

“Tink look for money.” 

“Why do you need money?”

The doorbell chimed, echoing through the house. Mike stared at Tink, who stared back.

“Who is that?” Mike asked.

“Pizza.” Tink replied, scratching at a greasy smudge on her face.

“How did you order a pizza?”

“Tink use magic screen. Type in pizza.”

Mike stared at the little goblin, mouth open. “My laptop was locked. How did you get in?”

Tink tapped the goggles on her head. “Tink order extra good pizza.” The door chimed again. Mike grabbed his hair in frustration, then pointed at Tink

“Stay out of sight. We’ll have the internet talk later.” Tink shrugged, walking out of the kitchen. Shaking his head, he ran to the front of the house, opening the door. Holding pizza in one hand and a two liter of soda in the other was Dana. Her hair was pulled back into a ponytail, and tonight she wore a tight white top under her black jacket. The jacket was unzipped, revealing a large pair of breasts that had been forced together by a dark black bra that peeked out along the edges of her neckline, the same breasts that had sent him into Naia’s tub in the first place.

Mike’s mouth went dry.

“Hey!” Dana said, handing over the pizza. “How are things?”

“Um, good?” Mike took the pizza in one hand. Dana was all smiles for him, and he felt that familiar nervousness hit him, a wave of anxiety across his whole body. “Uh, I didn’t, um, expect you so fast. Let me grab my wallet.”

“Yeah, sure.” Mike backed into the house and was dismayed when Dana followed him inside

“Whoa, this place is spooky!” Dana looked around at the furniture, which was still covered with white sheets. She pointed just off to the side of the stairs. “Does that Grandfather clock actually work?” She knelt down to examine the pendulum. The back of her pants slid down, revealing that she wasn’t wearing any underwear. Dana opened the door of the clock, her jacket sliding up to reveal a tattoo along her lower back.

“I, um…” Where had that clock come from? He couldn’t concentrate, staring at Dana’s exposed ass. “I’ll be right back.” He ran into the kitchen. Tink was busy staring at his laptop computer, which she had unlocked again. “Don’t touch anything on there,” he told her, setting the pizza down on the table. Grabbing his wallet, he walked back out to the main room to find Dana giving the pendulum inside the clock a push.

The entryway filled with the soft sounds of moving gears. The old clock’s second hand started moving around the face of the clock. Dana’s face lit up in excitement. “That is so cool!” She declared.

“You like clocks or something?” Mike asked. He held out a twenty, unsure what the total was.

“Oh yeah. I’m going to school for mechanical engineering. I love stuff like this.” Dana took the money from him and dug into her pockets for change. Upstairs, Mike heard a loud splash in the bathroom. They both looked up.

“What was that?” Dana asked.

“Bad pipe. Trying to get it fixed is all. Go ahead, keep the change,” Mike told her.

“Are you sure? Thank you!” Dana’s face lit up, and she hugged Mike. Her breasts were soft, pushing against his chest, and Mike felt a shiver as his body redirected blood flow to his dick. “Oh, shit, I’m so sorry!” She said, her face turning red as she backed away, stuffing the money in her pocket. “I don’t normally do that, it’s just that you’ve been very generous, and I needed extra money for my car payment, and you’re so cu-“Dana’s mouth slammed shut, her face glowing brighter. “I’m sorry, I just-thank you.”

“It’s okay. I remember what it’s like, working my way through school. I’m doing pretty well now, so just trying to pay it forward.” He stepped around her, opening the door. Dana stepped out onto the porch and Mike would have left her there, but Cecilia was sitting on the swing, gazing out into the yard. Mike walked onto the porch, keeping Dana from looking at the banshee. “So tell me more about your major.”

“Not a lot to tell. Class during the day, labs on weekend mornings. I have this gig to help make ends meet with student loans and such. I’m the only girl in my program, so I deal with a lot of creeps.” Mike stayed just ahead of her, walking down the path to her car, hoping she wouldn’t look back. Cecilia seemed quite content on her swing, her hair fanning out around her as if she was storing up a massive charge. “Hey, if you need an extra hand fixing stuff around here, I would love to help out. My dad worked construction when I was growing up, so I’m pretty handy.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.” They were at her car now, the glowing Pizza Palace marquee on her roof. She seemed reluctant to leave, but gave him a wave, the light from her GPS casting an eerie light on her face as she drove away. Mike let out a huge sigh, then ran back up the steps to the house. Cecilia wasn’t sitting anymore-instead she was staring inside the living room window.

“Something is happening,” she informed him.

“What’s happening?” Mike asked. Cecilia shrugged. You’re the Check Engine Light of the Damned, Mike thought to himself. He walked inside, staring upstairs and then toward the kitchen. Choosing the kitchen, he found Tink sitting at the table, clicking through websites on his laptop while eating her ill-gotten pizza.

“We need to have a quick chat about… what the hell are you eating?” He was standing behind her, and Tink tilted her head up and back.

“Tink order best pizza,” she informed him, holding up a slice for his inspection. Pepperoni, sausage, and pineapple adorned the top. The soda she had picked was orange, most of which was gone already. Only two slices of pizza were left in the box.

“You really are a little monster, aren’t you?” Mike flicked a piece of pineapple off.

“Tink find good stuff on magic screen,” Tink informed him. Looking over the top of her head, he saw that she was on Amazon and currently had nearly a hundred items in his cart. He leaned past her and opened it up to see what she was buying.

“Tink!” He shouted, seeing that his total was in the thousands. “What do you think you are doing?”

“Tink see good stuff for fix house.” She opened her mouth wide, dropping an entire piece of pizza in. She licked the grease off her fingers. “Tink has job to do.”

“Okay, I see we’re going to have to talk about this right now.” Mike closed the laptop, eliciting protest from Tink. “The magic screen is off limits for the time being. Now I want you to-“

A loud thud caused the light hanging above the table to sway from side to side. Tink slid her goggles on, and they both stared at the ceiling.

“What was that?” Mike asked.

“Tink not sure.” She touched the side of her goggles, rotating a dial Mike had never noticed. “Water in ceiling.”

“Oh fuck.” Mike remembered the splashing noise from before. Running toward the stairs, he slid to a stop when he saw that the Grandfather clock was no longer there. “Fuck!” Running up the stairs, his feet squished on wet carpet as he neared the bedroom door. Shoving it open, he heard running water splashing the bathroom floor. “Naia?”

“It’s about fucking time!” Naia appeared, splashing water everywhere. “I’ve been shouting this whole time.”

“I didn’t hear you,” Mike told her. “The door was closed.” Tink slammed into Mike from behind, staring at the floor. “What’s wrong?”

“There’s a fire elemental loose,” Naia told him. “Nasty little shit was sniffing around up here. I was trying to snuff him out, but he got away.”

“What does it look like?” Mike asked. Walking into his room, he saw tiny scorch marks all along the wall. Looking closer, he saw that they were foot prints.

“Like a lizard,” Naia told him. “Mike, it isn’t something from the house. It got in somehow, and it was laying low.”

“For what reason?” He asked, looking under the bed.

“To kill goblin husband,” Tink hissed, looking all around the room. She hit a hidden button on her goggles and several mechanical arms sprouted, each one with a different covered lens. Flicking them into place, she knelt by the door of the room.

“Wait, to kill me?”

“Possibly. This one was sniffing around like it was trying to find a place to hide. If it wanted to, it could just burn the whole house down, but they are great for assassinations.”

“That doesn’t make sense,” Mike said, checking the window, but it was locked from the inside. He heard stomping above the room, followed by the sight of gray claws on the rain gutter. He opened the window up. “Abella, have you seen anything leave the house?”

“No. I don’t know how it got in, either.” Abella leaned over the edge of the house. “If you chase it outside, I can take care of it.”

“But where did it come from?” Mike asked. “Did it come in with the pizza girl?”

“It was here long before that.” Naia informed him. “It must have come in with you earlier today.”

“But that doesn’t…” he thought back to the spark he felt when he had taken the paperwork from Elizabeth. “Tink, check the trash downstairs.”

“Tink go look.” The goblin grabbed a towel, dunking it in the bath. Wringing it out, she rolled it up, cracking it like a whip. “Mike stay here.”

“Like hell I will.” Mike dunked his own towel. “I’m coming with you.”

“You both need to be careful,” Naia said. “If it touches you, it may just immolate you to nothing but ash.”

“Fantastic,” Mike muttered, following Tink out into the hall. Tink was walking down the hall, her eyes intent on something he couldn’t see.

“Tracks everywhere,” Tink informed him. “Upstairs, downstairs. Elemental go in most rooms, but come back out.” Turning to go down the stairs, Mike noticed the wardrobe at the end of the hall. Walking toward it, he made to turn the latch.

“No tracks there,” Tink told him, yanking on the band of his pants. “We go look downstairs.” Mike followed her, holding his towel ready as they stepped into the living room. Moving into the kitchen, Tink opened up the trash can. Reaching in, she pulled free what was left of the folder from Elizabeth. “Fire elemental come from here.”

Mike didn’t have to ask how she knew. The folder was burnt. Looking into the can he saw the nest of ashes at the bottom. The elemental started as a spark, and he wondered if throwing away the offer had triggered it to burn and grow. “Okay, so what now?”

Cecilia’s loud wail carried through the house, sending shivers up Mike’s spine. Tink covered her ears, frowning in the direction of her cries. Running toward the noise, they made it past the stairs and into one of the sitting rooms in the front of the house. Cecilia stood just outside the window, her mouth stretched wide and one hand pointing at the ceiling. Up above, Mike saw the angry creature standing on the ceiling, hissing in response.

Mike and Tink walked further into the room as Cecilia drifted through the walls, her shrieks rising in volume. Mike put fingers in his ears, his eyes on the angry red lizard on the ceiling. It looked like it was made of lava, the air around it shimmering from the sheer heat of its skin. Its eyes blazed like fiery coals, hissing at Cecilia. It leapt off of the ceiling, passing straight through the banshee and colliding with the carpet. Spinning in place, leaving scorch marks on the hardwood, it spotted Mike.

“Oh shit!” Mike yelled, raising his towel as the lizard came at him. It left a fiery trail on the floor, the hardwood burning up beneath it. It launched itself at him, and Mike dodged out of the way, letting it collide with a piece of furniture behind him. The white sheet burned up beneath it, the chair underneath igniting. The elemental burned its way through springs and fluff, the chair igniting, but the flames remaining local. Uncertain how to proceed, Mike watched the chair from the side, squatting down to see beneath it.

The elemental charged him, crossing the space in a second. Leaping for his face, it was knocked out of the air by the fast crack of the wet towel from Tink. The elemental missed, crashing into the table behind Mike. Mike, acting fast, unfurled his towel and scooped up the elemental inside. It shrieked, steam rising from the towel.

“Fuck!” Mike shouted, dropping his bundle from Hell. It was too hot to carry. Cecilia grabbed the bundle with both hands, spinning in a circle and launching it through the window. The glass shattered, the elemental and towel landing in the front yard.

“Quick!” Mike and Tink ran outside, where Cecilia met them. The wet bundle looked like an angry steamed dumpling, rolling around in the yard as the elemental fought its way free. Mike grabbed the towel from Tink. “Is there a hose out here?” Mike asked.

“Tink find.” She leapt over the railing, running along the side of the house. Mike held up the towel like a blanket, going the long way down the front steps. Staying off to the side, he watched the elemental squeeze free, scorching a circle in the grass and growing in size.

“Tink!” Mike cried, the lizard now the size of a large dog. It ran at him on its hind legs, letting out a high pitched shriek. He saw Tink off to the side, wrestling with a hose that had too many kinks in it.

A thousand pounds of stone slammed into the elemental from above, grabbing it around the neck. Flames licked at Abella’s stone skin, but the fire wasn’t hot enough to bother the gargoyle. Clutching the elemental in her talons, Abella lifted into the sky, crossing over into the backyard. Mike and Tink ran back through the house and into the garden in time to see Abella fighting the angry elemental above the fountain.

“Naia!” Mike shouted, the nymph appearing directly below Abella. She waved her hands, forming intricate patterns in the air as a wall of water formed around the fountains perimeter. Abella landed in the fountain, holding the fire elemental in place as Naia made the walls crash in. The fountain steamed, the elemental desperately fighting through the waves that kept catching it and pushing it back toward the middle.

Abella pinned the elemental in place, the water in the fountain beginning to boil. Naia ran around the edge of the fountain, coaxing more water up from below. The garden filled with steam as the elemental unleashed its magic attempting to boil off the water and escape. Abella’s face was a mask of anger, her teeth bared at the threat beneath her as it shape shifted, an amorphous being determined to survive. Mike and Tink could only watch helplessly as the air became too thick with vapor to see.

Several minutes passed, the noise dying down. A cool breeze sucked the steam away, revealing Abella crouched in the middle of the fountain, a tiny glowing ember trapped beneath her hand. Naia nodded at the gargoyle, and Abella crushed it with her fist, extinguishing its light.

“Holy shit,” Mike muttered. Abella collapsed in the fountain, breathing hard. Mike hopped in, the warm water soaking his pant legs to help her stand. The gargoyle was covered in soot marks across her stony body. She sat in the cool water, breathing hard.

“That was no simple fire elemental,” she told him. “He was almost too hot for me to hold onto.”

“She’s right,” Naia added, kneeling by Abella’s side. She ran her hands gently over Abella’s skin. “Whoever summoned that creature has use of some powerful magic.”

“We know where it came from.” Mike explained what he and Tink had found in the trash can. “The fact that it came from the trash and didn’t just attack me when I walked in the door means something, but I have no idea what. The Society clearly wants this house, otherwise they would have just burned the place down. Ideas?”

“I’m thinking this was partially a scouting affair,” Abella said, holding up a blistered palm. Naia summoned a streamer of icy water to wash across it. “The elemental needed to see who was here first. I’m sure they have ideas, but it would be a bad idea to just attack without knowing who and what. I saw it in wars all the time.”

“You’ve been in wars?” Mike asked.

Abella nodded. “Usually I used forts or castles as a hiding place. I loved watching the people below, and nobody questions another statue on the roof of a church. I have seen my share of sieges. My guess is that they sent in the elemental to scope out the territory and then kill you if possible.”

“If I die, that’s it. It was hard enough to find me, and as far as I know, I have zero family left anywhere.” Mike shook his head. “I almost sold the place anyway, but the will stipulated that I had to come and see it first, and could only sell when full ownership transferred, which takes a few days. I die, it’s only a matter of time before the Society gets this place, and then they get to you.”

“Who are they?” Naia asked.

Mike looked at Tink, who sat on the edge of the fountain.

“Let’s find out.”

-

Mike and Tink sat at the dinner table, his laptop open in front of him. Tink wore her goggles still, carefully watching everything Mike did. Even though she got the basics of navigation, he showed her how to streamline her searches, avoid leaving a trail, and not spend all his money.

“I’ll try and walk you through this,” he informed her, clicking on a small icon in the corner of his desktop. It was designed to match his screensaver, a basic “Lake in the Mountains” photo that came with it. Prompting him for a password, he logged in to the desktop computer that was at his old apartment.

Having more than three months left on the rent, Mike had never bothered to formally move out. Right now, a person sitting in his room would watch the desktop come to life, controlled remotely by his laptop computer. He needed something far heftier than what he had now. Even though he had parted with his hacker ways many years ago, he knew better than to simply throw away the programs he had kept. His job, after all, was website maintenance, and knowing what the bad people were using was the best way to keep his clients safe.

He opened up a Dos command window, typing in the phrase ZeroDarkThirty.exe. Anyone digging through his directory wouldn’t even see the hidden file, but his computer rebooted itself into Dark Mode, a term he had laughingly coined one night between rounds of Counter-Strike.

His computer began running subroutines, bouncing off of servers all over the world. Anyone trying to trace it would run into difficulty without some hacking knowledge of their own, and even then, he had ways to erase his tracks.

He pulled up the Society’s website, looking at its members. Elizabeth was his first target, and he immediately began digging into the local records. Tink watched intently, goggles on, as he pulled up easy stuff like birth records, address, and then went deeper with police records, real estate sales, and anything else he could find. Every time he found a lead, he opened a new window and let his programs do their work.

Nearly an hour passed in this manner, with him digging and creating his own file. He had Tink eat the pineapple off of one of the remaining pizza slices so that he could finish the rest while drinking a beer from the fridge. A second hour passed, and then a third. Only darkness could be seen through is kitchen window, which he discovered overlooked the greenhouse.

“Well, that’s that.” Mike stared at the results of his digging, shaking his head in disbelief.

“What Mike find?” Tink asked. She had been by his side for the majority of his hunt.

“Nothing. Which, in and of itself, is something.” Mike pulled up the website for the Society. “Clearly, these bitches stink,” he said, pointing at Elizabeth and Sarah. “But the only reason we know that is because we’ve met them, right? Well, look at the other eleven members of the Society.” He pointed at the circular portraits on the website. “Statistically, I should have found something, anything, about even just one of them. A parking ticket, a court summons, anything.”

“Mike have empty hands?” Tink asked.

“Mike have empty hands. And they shouldn’t be empty.” He stared at the strange faces before him. “Other than some birth records and their current addresses and such, I can’t even find pictures of them from when they were younger. It’s almost like they came out of nowhere.”

Tink nodded to herself. “Everyone come from somewhere.”

“Exactly.” Mike rubbed his eyes. It had been a long day. “I’m not sure where to go from here.”

“Everything look better in daylight,” Tink informed him, her face cracking into a yawn. “Old goblin saying.”

“That’s a human saying, too.” Mike stared at his computer. He had even hacked into the website hosting the Society, only to find that it was just a run-of-the-mill Weebly page. Nothing of interest. Looking at Elizabeth’s picture, he changed her name to Queen Cunt. Deciding that wasn’t enough, he uploaded pictures of dicks for the rest of the member’s profiles. He quickly changed the password to a string of random words, saved all changes, then logged out. Frustrated, he put his desktop back in sleep mode, severing the connection. “Why don’t you head for bed? I’ll meet you upstairs in a bit.”

Tink nodded, pushing her goggle up. They had left circular marks around her eyes. He kissed the top of her head as he departed, her tail swishing from side to side. He stopped out in the garden, where Abella swooped down from above to meet him.

“Thanks for your help today,” he told her, giving her a hug.

“You’re welcome,” Abella said, her breath tickling his ear. “Did you learn anything about the Society?”

“No, I didn’t.” Mike said, turning to Naia. She was floating in the fountain again, her bubble lights casting their shadows. “See you in the morning Naia.”

“Goodnight lover,” Naia said, rolling on her side and winking at him. He walked inside, stopping in the front entry way to stare at the empty spot the clock had been. That was going to be a puzzle for some other time, he thought to himself, before stepping onto the porch.

Cecilia was on the swing, her legs tucked up beneath her. Her head turned, empty white eyes appraising Mike where he stood. She patted the seat next to her, her spooky hair drifting as if she sat in a vortex of wind.

Mike walked across the porch, taking the seat next to her. “Thanks for all your help tonight,” he said. “If not for you, I may have died.”

Cecilia smiled. “That would be one way for us to spend some alone time together.”

“I’m not ready for that kind of commitment,” Mike replied. Cecilia grinned, her eyes crinkling along the edges.

 “You are so different from those who came before,” Cecilia said. “With the others, it was different. They were here, but largely distant. Emily spent time with me, but I could feel it, that tension in the way she spoke, how she sat with me. It’s hard sitting with death, contemplating its infinite nature, wondering when I will come for you in your sleep. My kind were never well loved, but we were respected.” She leaned her head on Mike’s shoulder-his skin tingled at the chill in her touch. “My kind suffer from a special kind of loneliness. I wasn’t ready to walk you to your final resting place just yet.”

Mike shrugged. “Is it weird that I’m more worried about what was going to happen to the others? I mean, I wasn’t keen on dying in a fire, but I kept thinking about what would happen to Naia, Abella, and especially Tink.”

“Did you worry about me?” Cecilia asked. The Irish lilt in her voice was suddenly softer.

“Should I? I mean, I don’t know enough about banshees to even guess at what could possibly happen to you. I imagine that whoever took this house, you would sit out here on your swing, content to watch the sun set.”

“A week ago, that wouldn’t have even mattered,” Cecilia replied. “Ever since I came here, I sit on this porch, watching the house and waiting to take its owner to the afterlife. I haven’t expected any more, or any less, but it beats the alternative of wandering the countryside, lost and alone, wailing out of self-pity. Still, even though I was mean to you, you made the effort. Emily would have done the same, but it was nearly a decade before she could even look me in the face, or be comfortable around me, for that matter.” Cecilia shifted, her hair tickling Mike’s nose. “Yet here you sit. You treat me like a person, not a lost soul. You touch me without flinching away-even now, I can feel the warmth of your body against mine. That is something nobody has ever done for me.”

“Part of that is Naia,” Mike explained. “She did this thing where she took a piece of my soul and gave me a piece of hers. It was to bind me to the house, make me feel obligated to help. I don’t want to take credit for something she did.”

“That’s where you are wrong,” Cecilia said, running the fingers of her hand across the top of his. “Everyone who has lived here has been given the nymph’s gift, but you are different than they were. There’s a part of you that has been broken, damaged in such a way that you don’t fit in anywhere else. You’re a mismatched puzzle piece-someone put you in the box, but you make a crooked fit.” She waved her hand back at the house. “This place is a crooked puzzle piece in the fabric of the universe. Even if a piece is found that fits here, the edges will never line up quite right.

“Your edges are crooked. I imagine it’s what Naia saw in you. You don’t fit in with the rest of the universe like you do here. You’ve already seen things that most men never will, experienced sensations outside of the human experience. Naia’s magic may have snared you, but the person you are is what makes you special.”

Mike shrugged, unsure what to say. “I’m just trying to do right by the monsters here. Now that I know that there are people out there who want this place, people willing to sic a fire lizard on me, I feel more determined than ever to make it work.”

Cecilia snuggled closer, his chest tingling as she drew away his body heat. He wasn’t cold-his whole body tingled like he was building up a massive charge. He could smell her perfume, a soft floral scent with a hint of cinnamon.

“Mike?” Cecilia said his name softly.

“What’s up?”

Cecilia moved away from him, sitting so that he could see her better. Up close, her sightless eyes were like pearls, fixing him with an intensity that rooted him on the spot. Her hair fanned out around her, floating ethereally around her head.

“I think… maybe you should be worried about me.” Cecilia said. Her body floated above the seat, rotating until they were facing one another. One cool hand gripped the back of his neck, tiny sparks jumping up and down his spine. Cecilia pulled herself in, touching his face with her other hand. She was only an inch away, her nose nearly touching his.

“Very, very worried.” She floated in, gently, placing her lips on his. He opened his own mouth in surprise, her tongue finding his. The tiny chills were nothing compared to the sensation of his breath being stolen from him, the core of his being rushing outward into her waiting lips. Warning bells went off in the back of his mind, telling him to push her away, run in the house, natural instincts that served to keep a man alive.

Mike’s hand easily fit just beneath her ear, running along her jaw and neck. He pulled her closer to him, her weightless body becoming heavier as she settled on top of him. Her legs were spread around his, folded back on her knees. He broke the kiss, exhaling a cloud of vapor that could only be found on the coldest of winter evenings. He opened his mouth to speak, but she placed a finger to it.

“Don’t say anything,” Cecilia said. “Banshees are beings created out of the aether- we have human forms, but not human needs. We don’t eat. We don’t sleep. Other than taking a soul to the afterlife, we only watch. I’ve watched you since you arrived, seen how you treat the others. I can remember watching the others with the former guardians, feeling like an outsider looking in. Not quite welcome, not quite accepted. I watched you the other night, saw those things you did with Naia and the goblin. For the first time in my existence, I find myself wanting those things as well.”

“But?” Mike asked.

“I may have the body of a woman, but I do not have the experience of one.” Cecilia’s scent was overwhelming this close up. “And I do not think I could handle the rejection if you discovered I was not worth it. I don’t even know if we could be together as a man and woman should.”

Mike gazed into the banshee’s blank eyes. The spirit was already accepting failure before it had happened. “When you kissed me, did you like it?”

“I did,” Cecilia admitted. “It was new. I can’t remember the last time I experienced something new.”

“Maybe I should worry about you,” Mike told her, running his fingers through her hair. Tiny sparks kissed his flesh from beneath her snow-white strands. “You sit out here on the porch all day, but you came inside to help me with the fire elemental. You don’t sit out here because you have to-you choose to be here. And it sounds like, finally, you want to know if there can be more.” Mike’s hand followed the curve of her neck, sliding down her collarbone to caress her breast through the soft fabric of her blouse. Cecilia let out a tiny gasp, her eyes going wide. “Let’s find out. Together.”

Cecilia, her lips slightly parted, nodded in agreement. Mike kissed her again, running his hands down her back and along the top of her ass. Breaking apart, he allowed his lips to explore the soft underside of her neck, tiny kisses that elicited gasps as he moved his way down to her collarbone.

Cecilia’s fingers slid up the base of Mike’s shirt, running along his stomach. The sparks coming from her fingers tickled him in a couple of places, but he held his laughter in, afraid to break the spell that had been cast. He allowed her to explore, each touch uncertain. She tilted her head to the side, allowing him to move even further. Her pale skin glowed, literally, in the darkness. Mike worked his way back up her neck, kissing her just beneath her ear.

“I like this,” Cecilia said, pulling Mike’s shirt off. Mike loosened the strings on the back of her bodice, allowing him better access to her breasts. Pushing his fingers beneath the lace, the fabric shifted oddly around his hands, stray beams of light connecting her clothes to her body.

“Whoa,” Mike said, sliding her straps down along her shoulders. When he let go, they attempted to float back to their original position, clinging to her ghost flesh.

“Don’t mind that,” she informed him, wrapping her legs around his waist. Mike suddenly noticed how heavy she was. With her straps down, it was easy to push her dress down, freeing her breasts. Her nipples were tiny, spiritual afterthoughts on the part of whatever created banshees. He sucked at them, occasionally nipping, listening to the noises she made, narrowing in on what she liked. It wasn’t something he had ever been super good at, and he could only attribute it to Naia’s magic making him more aware, giving him new confidence. Running his lips across Cecilia’s breasts, she started pressing her crotch into his, gentle pushes that quickly became more urgent.

Shifting from the patio roof drew Mike’s attention to a dark face hanging over the ledge. Abella smirked at the two of them, content to watch. Mike tried to shoo away the gargoyle with a wave of his hand, but she wasn’t going to budge.

“More,” Cecilia whispered when Mike grazed a nipple with his teeth. “I want to feel more.”

Mike removed a hand from her breast, twisting her body slightly sideways so that he could get access to her thighs. His hands moved up her stockings, finding smooth skin at mid-thigh. Cecilia parted her legs for him, allowing his fingers to roam up and over her legs. The electrical sensation was increased here, sending surges of chilled electricity to his very core. As long as he kept his hands on her flesh, it wasn’t bad, but if he broke contact, the sudden jolt was unsettling.

“Mike,” Cecilia whispered, kissing her way down his neck. Mike moaned, the sensations of electricity and ice colliding in his spine. His breath was visible now, the temperature of the air rapidly dropping. “I want more.”

His fingers found the edge of her panties. Like her top, it was difficult to separate banshee from fabric, so he contented himself with running his fingers across the outside, feeling her thick mound through the thin material.

“Ah!” Cecilia sighed, breaking away from Mike’s neck. He made tiny circles over her panties now, a wet spot rapidly forming beneath his touch as he gently moved her folds apart. “Ah! Ah!” Cecilia wrapped her arms around his neck, grinding her crotch down on his hand. Mike grinned, pinching a nipple with his free hand as he shoved her panties aside. Again, they tried to move back to their regular position, but Mike was too determined. He gently pressed a finger against Cecilia’s slit, teasing her opening with wide, lazy circles. The banshee chased his finger, trying to press down on it every chance she got. The tiny shocks now felt like a steady surge of energy, but Mike was too horny to care.

“It feels like we just might fit together after all,” he whispered in Cecilia’s ear. Looking up, he saw that Abella was still watching, a lusty grin on her face. She licked her lips at him, but Mike ignored her. “But only when you’re ready.”

“Okay,” Cecilia whimpered, her hips swiveling. Mike used his thumb to rub the folds around her clitoris-every time he touched it directly, the sensation caused his hand to flinch away. Cecilia was sitting upright now, eyes closed and mouth open, panting loudly as Mike teased her pussy. Several minutes passed, and Cecilia suddenly clamped her hand down on Mike’s wrist.

“Hold still, you fucker,” she said, pinning his wrist and forcing her pussy down onto his finger. He slid up into her, his arm becoming chilled as the heat left it, flowing up into Cecilia’s snatch. She let out a loud groan, startling Mike with her sudden loudness.

“Won’t the neighbor hear?” He asked, suddenly nervous.

“You know that won’t be a problem,” she replied. “Now give me another finger.”

Mike pushed a second finger in, relieved when it dampened the sensation. His first finger had gone nearly numb, and the second one’s entrance was restoring heat to it. Cecilia let out another loud groan, moving her hips back and forth.

“Oh god, I’ve never felt anything like this,” Cecilia said, rolling her hips back and forth. “I feel so…so…full.”

“If you think you feel full now, wait until I get my dick in you,” Mike told her. 

“Oh, fuck!” Cecilia slid backward, hovering away from Mike. She turned around, grasping the railing of the porch in one hand and pulling the back of her skirt up in the other. “I can’t wait any longer! Do it! Fuck me! I want to know how it feels!”

Mike rose, undoing his pants. His cock sprang free, the cool air crinkling the skin on his balls. He pushed against Cecilia, lifting her skirt up and staring at her small, curvy ass. Her panties were white, just like her dress, and he saw that her stockings were held in place by a garter belt. The wet spot on Cecilia’s panties was the size of a silver dollar. Using his fingers, he yanked her panties to the side, revealing ivory folds without hair. The sparks between them were visible now, little blue streamers of energy that connected them.

“Are you ready?” Mike asked, rubbing the head of his cock on her pussy lips. The energy between them made his dick feel like it was vibrating, each spark sending a wave of pleasure to his spine.

Cecilia responded by shoving herself backward. Mike’s eyes rolled upward as a powerful blast of energy used his dick as a conduit, cold electricity flowing through his legs, up his back, and into his head. He grabbed onto Cecilia’s ass, the urge of energy causing his whole body to lurch forward, slamming his dick into her once more. Gasping for air, he pulled back out, but the electricity caused him to stiffen up again. Cecilia let out a cry with each deep thrust, not realizing that her energy had trapped Mike in an endless loop.

“What is this? What is this? What is this feeling?” Cecilia cried, letting forth a stream of words in a language Mike didn’t recognize. She was incoherent now, babbling out loud as he fucked her from behind. The pulses decreased in intensity enough that Mike could move his hands again. He wasn’t sure how much more of this he could take-he wrapped his arm around Cecilia’s tiny waist and found her clitoris from the front, folding over one of her lips as a buffer to prevent another intense shock. Cecilia’s babbling became moans, moans that built in strength and volume. Up above, Abella’s face was contorted in a silent mask of pleasure, her lips parted as she panted in time with the banshee.

Cecilia shoved back against Mike hard enough that the two of them fell backward onto the patio, narrowly missing the swing. Cecilia’s hands replaced Mike’s on her clit, swiveling her hips as she rode him frantically. Mike grabbed her breasts through her dress, squeezing them tightly as he arched his back, pushing himself in deeper.

Cecilia went silent, her whole body starting to shake. Her hair rose up like crazy snakes, electric streamers arcing away from her skin as she took in a deep breath, the only thing he could hear.

“Oh shit!” Mike quickly stuck his fingers in his ears as Cecilia came. The noise was a cross between an air raid siren and a cat in heat. Mike was grateful to be on his back-he felt the world spin beneath him as his equilibrium was destroyed. The house rattled behind him, tremors making the wooden planks beneath him pop out of place. Cecilia let out another shriek as her body shook, her arms going limp at her sides as tremors racked her whole body. The lights in the house went out, casting shadows onto the front porch. Cecilia’s body was the only source of light now, and she went silent once more, her hips randomly spasming, sending pleasurable shocks into his cock.

Mike waited nearly a minute before pulling his fingers out of his ears. Cecilia had gone completely still now, the streamers of light dying down. Mike’s balls ached, his own orgasm chased off by the terrifying screams of the banshee.

“Cecilia?” Mike asked, touching her arm. Cecilia burst into several motes of light, vanishing from the porch. The electricity in the house came back on, leaving Mike, largely naked with his dick in hand, laying on the porch. The wood beneath him was covered in frost.

“Cecilia!” Mike called, suddenly worried. He stood up, fumbling with his pants. “Cecilia, where are you?” 

The swing behind him rocked gently. Her voice whispered in his ear, barely audible over the slight ringing that now lived there.

“That was wonderful,” she told him. “I’ll be fine, don’t worry.”

“What happened?” Mike asked.

He heard her chuckle on the wind. “I came so hard that I fell apart. Once I have the strength, I’ll make it up to you.” Mike shook his head in disbelief, watching the swing. His dick was rock hard, his balls tingling with the strange energy that Cecilia had been passing through his body.

“Fuck,” Mike muttered. He needed to cum. Right now.

“Abella?” Mike called, but the gargoyle had disappeared. Yanking the front door open, he ran up the stairs to his bedroom. “Tink? Are you here?”

“She ran downstairs to check on the fuse box.” Naia sat on the edge of the tub, a coy look on her face. All of the water from earlier was gone now. “Can I help you with something?”

Mike didn’t say anything-he didn’t need to. Walking toward the tub, he pulled his pants off. Naia helped him into the tub, forcing him to sit on the edge. She rubbed the head of his dick with one hand while tugging on his balls with the other. She gave his dick an odd look.

“That’s… interesting,” Naia said.

“What’s interesting?” Mike asked.

“You’ve been exposed to some kind of magic I haven’t seen before. Do you feel okay?”

“I feel fine. I was fucking Cecilia out front, and all sorts of weird shit happened, and she vanished before I could finish.”

“Really?!?” Naia’s eyes sparkled. “You may be the first man in history to fuck a banshee. Congratulations!”

“Please, Naia,” Mike begged. “I need to come.”

“Oh, I knew that the moment you walked in.” Naia flipped her hair back over her shoulder. “I wonder what banshee tastes like,” she said, sucking his dick into her mouth.

“Oh, god, Naia!” Mike twisted his hands up in her hair, pulling her against him. She worked the base of his cock with one hand, running the other across his naked thigh. Her mouth was warm, the water in the tub restoring warmth to his body that he hadn’t been aware he had lost. Bobbing her head up and down, Naia let out little gasps of pleasure.

“Oh my!” She gasped, popping her mouth free. “Oh. Oh!”

“Please, Naia!” Mike pulled her head back down on his dick. She worked his dick frantically now, moaning into his crotch. She swirled the water beneath with a finger, summoning a giant cock made of water. It positioned itself behind her ass, and she sank down on it with a sigh. Mike clutched the edge of the tub, the sight of Naia being spit roasted sending him close to the edge.

Tiny sparks formed all along his skin, crawling down and across Naia. Her eyes grew wide as Mike felt his orgasm building, a strangely cold sensation that pulled heat from his limbs. The lights in the room flickered, water splashing everywhere as Mike clawed frantically at Naia’s scalp. Naia grabbed his ass cheeks, taking him in as deeply as possible.

“FUCK!” Mike’s balls contracted into his body as he blasted a huge load into Naia’s mouth. When his orgasm hit, the sparks in the room all leapt onto Naia. She held onto his waist, sucking deeply as another contraction hit him. Naia swallowed frantically as she came, moaning loudly on his dick, semen leaking from her nostrils as he filled her faster than she could swallow. That strange surge of electricity flowed back into Mike through Naia’s mouth, and he came again. Her cheeks bulged as she gave up, openly drooling cum as he creamed her mouth again. The sparks left again, crawling across her skin until she screamed into his dick, the sparks jumping back on Mike.

This happened for nearly a minute, the strange, magical feedback loop draining Mike of everything he had. Each time the sparks jumped, they diminished, until he unleashed one final, meager blast of cum into Naia’s throat. By now, she had given up trying to contain it all-she had his cum all down her throat and chest. His limp dick sliding free of her mouth, Mike scooted forward to join Naia in the tub.

“What… what the hell was that?” He asked, catching his breath. Naia gasped for air, semen dripping from her face into the water. The water cock had vanished, and the tub’s water itself was a mixture of Mike’s cum and Naia’s cream.

“I don’t know.” Naia stood up in the tub, her pussy dripping with her own fluids. “But if you figure out how it happened, you let me know. I’ve never cum that hard in my life.” She offered a hand to help him stand-his legs had gone numb from orgasming so many times. Finally getting his footing, he stepped out of the tub, stumbled his way to his bed, and collapsed naked on it.

Staring at the wall, he heard Tink come wandering in the bedroom door. The goblin sniffed the air, letting out a huff of disgust.

“Tink should have waited,” she muttered, turning off the light and crawling into bed next to him. He chuckled, wrapping one arm around her to pull her tight against his chest. She was facing away from him.

“Some other time, Tink. Some other time.” Tink gave his arm an affectionate squeeze. “Oh. By the way, I think I broke the porch.”

Tink let out a groan of disgust, lightly biting his arm. Mike laughed lightly, sleep claiming him moments later.