Home for Horny Monsters

Water flowed through a crack in the wall. On the other side, Mike could hear the river. Placing his hands against the hard stone, he could feel the vibrations through it. Cupping his hands, he collected a mouthful of water and drank it. It was cold with a slight metallic taste, but Blue had informed him that it was safe enough to drink.

“Is it good?” Blue asked from her perch on his shoulder.

“It tastes like water,” Mike responded, sucking down huge mouthfuls. Wiping his mouth, he turned away from the wall. Blue had led him away from where the fairies had found him, citing safety concerns about the potential arrival of the minotaur. The river acted as a natural barrier, but Blue had informed him there was a single bridge that the minotaur could cross if it needed to.

In the distance, he heard the minotaur cry out. It sounded different from earlier, but Mike was no expert on monster shouts. If Mike had to venture a guess, it sounded like the minotaur had found a bag of gold, or a shiny new axe.

“Lucky boy,” he muttered to himself.

“What?” Blue asked.

“Oh. Nothing. Thinking out loud.” He contemplated the paths before him. There were three, and each one looked equally suspicious. Blue had informed him that they were in the inner circle in relation to the river, and that the passageways had been booby trapped. They had only walked for about ten minutes, and Blue had pointed out at least three traps that Mike could have triggered that would have killed him.

Mike leaned against a dry section of the wall, closing his eyes and letting the rhythmic vibrations of the river lull him into a meditative state. His clothes, dried by Blue with fairy magic, still retained a mystical warmth.

He had asked Blue about the traps. The Labyrinth wasn’t just a random maze, he had informed her, and the fact that someone would put in a giant maze with killer traps and a minotaur meant that the Labyrinth must have a secret or a treasure worth protecting. Blue had shrugged away his answers, being deliberately evasive. She also wouldn’t speak to the fact that she and the others were trapped, which was also a piece of the puzzle.

Why would a maze be designed to keep people out, but then never let them leave? His eyes closed, he sank deeper into a state of relaxation, tiny lights flickering behind his eyelids.

The world of darkness receded, chased away by glowing beams of light streaming through his windows. He walked through his house, humming a song to himself that he didn’t recognize. A large table had been set up in the family room, with an equally large game board.

“Every room has its purpose, every monster has its place,” he sang out loud, but it wasn’t his voice. It was Emily’s, but that wasn’t quite right either. It almost sounded like Emily’s voice mixed with Naia’s. The game board in front of him reminded him of Clue – it was a layout of his house. On the board, he saw that several pieces were scattered through the house. He picked up a sultry figurine that was standing in the fountain, immediately identifying Naia. Setting it back down, he picked up another one on the front porch. This one was Cecilia. Even Lily was there, her figurine currently in the back yard with Naia and Zel.

There were other pieces on the board, pieces he didn’t recognize. When he held them up, they were blurry, his vision unable to see any detail. Frowning, he stared at the board. Where was the Labyrinth?

He touched the spare bedroom, tracing his fingers over to the closet. The board shimmered beneath his touch, and unfolded another section, revealing the enormous structure somehow in the walls of his house. The pieces were on the board, standing in various locations. He found his own piece, picking it up to inspect it. Setting himself back down, he spotted the minotaur with a couple of other pieces.

Beth and Abella. Fuck. He set these back down. He saw the other fairies, their figures very tiny, and even Sofia. Her figurine scowled at him somehow. In the center of the Labyrinth was a pair of figurines. One was Tink, but the other one was blurry. Holding the piece in his hands, he tried to identify it by feel.

“Mike!” His eyes snapped open, and he stood up. Had that been a dream or a vision? 

Green was hovering in front of him, glitter shedding off her wings.

“What is it?” He asked.

“I found one of your friends,” Green informed him. “She needs your help?”

“Who did you find?” Mike asked.

“The one with one eye.” Green’s face twisted up. “She is really mad.”

“Is she okay?”

“For now.” Green turned into a ball of light. “Follow follow!” She whizzed away, stopping at the entrance to the corridor on the right. Mike followed close behind, Blue sitting on his shoulder. Green moved at a pace consistent with a fast walk – she was easy to keep up with, but would zip farther ahead if Mike tried to catch up

Mike was already lost, but Green led him through a series of twists and turns that made it so that he knew he wouldn’t be able to find his way back to the river. He looked up, marveling at how his brain couldn’t even identify a landmark in the dark ceiling up above.

“Duck!” Blue shrieked in his ear. Mike threw himself flat, and a large stone on a rope swung where his head had been. He was going to stand up when he heard the creaking of a second rope. Crouching down, he moved forward, the second rock crashing into the first one. His ears rang, and the pile of rubble buried the passageway behind him under a few feet of stone.

‘Holy shit,” he muttered.

‘You’re telling me.” Blue squeezed out from under his collar, where he had crushed her. Her chitinous shell readjusted itself, her wings tucking back beneath them. She smoothed out her antenna, and rubbed her left shoulder.

“Sorry.” Mike stood up. “I’m glad you saw it in time.”

“Part of that is thanks to you,” she said, her antenna twitching playfully. “My senses haven’t been this sharp in years!”

“Have you guys really been stuck here that long?” Mike asked.

“A woman named Emily banished us to the Labyrinth over a misunderstanding,” Blue told him. “She thought we did a bad thing, and told us we could live here or leave the house.”

“And you chose to live here?” Mike looked around. “Why not go live and be free?”

“Fairies like us are almost extinct, you know.” They had started walking again, and Blue spoke softly into his ear from her perch on his shoulder. “The human world isn’t as friendly as it used to be. Our fields and forests got torn up, and fairies learned long ago never to trust humans.”

“You trusted me.” Mike pointed out.

Blue shrugged. “We had been down here for quite some time and figured if you weren’t the Caretaker, then something had happened to the House. We could smell Naia’s magic coming off of you.” Her voice then lowered to a whisper. “It also didn’t help that we were all so horny.”

“Well, if we get out of here, we can discuss your current living arrangement. I want to hear more about this ‘bad thing’ some time.”

“Step around that,” Blue told him, pointing at the floor. Mike knelt down, finally seeing the seam in the stone from up close. He was able to scoot by easily, wondering what sort of trap that would have set off. They continued walking, and Mike noticed the trap frequency had increased dramatically.

“I have no idea how the others made it through here,” Mike said.

“They didn’t come this way,” Green told him from up ahead. “This is a short cut, so the number of traps is really high.”

“A short cut to where?” Mike asked. Neither of the fairies answered.

Their pace slowed dramatically with the appearance of trip wires and pitfalls painted to look just like an ordinary floor. Mike nearly fell in one of these, but a quick thinking Green bounced herself off of him hard enough in the chest that he tipped back onto the path instead of falling forward. The way forward was perilous, and Mike moved only a few steps at a time at the fairy’s insistence. It had been a long time since the minotaur had called out, which made him nervous. If he were to come across the beast now, it would become a battle of luck as he ran away.

“Whoa.” They came to a three way intersection and Mike stopped to survey the other two paths. Whoever had come through here before him had set off several traps down the other corridors. Spikes from the ground and wall were evident everywhere, and a few piles of rock could be seen in the distance. Mike followed Green, who was moving a bit faster now.

“Most of the traps have been sprung already,” Green told him. “Except for a couple of the nastier ones, so watch your step.”

“What could be nastier than spikes?” Mike wondered aloud. To answer him, Green flew ahead and grabbed onto a small wire near the floor, pulling it backward. Jets of fire filled the hallway for several yards. The whole area became hot enough that Mike broke into a sweat.

“You made your point,” he announced. Green’s twinkling light hovered by his face, doing lazy figure eights.

“The fire jets are the worst,” Blue told him. “Even if you trip the trap, you can’t get out of the way. There’s one part of the Labyrinth where there aren’t any traps except for that one. It’s a giant pressure plate that takes up the whole floor for about ten feet, so you can’t avoid it. It scorches everything for a couple hundred feet in either direction.”

“It pisses off the minotaur when it goes off,” Green added with a smile on her face. “It leaves scorch marks that he has to remove, otherwise people will realize that one is there.”

“How often do you guys set that one off?” Mike asked.

“About once a year.” Blue giggled. “Then we all jump out when he shows and yell ‘Happy Birthday!’.”

Mike laughed. “You three are a riot.”

“It passes the time,” Green said. “Especially because she won’t let us leave.”

“She who?” Again, silence from both of them. “Why won’t you tell me who is running the Labyrinth.”

“Because we can’t,” Blue whispered. “It’s part of the Labyrinth’s magic.”

“I don’t understand why it matters who runs the Labyrinth,” Mike said.

“She doesn’t want people to know she is here.” Blue told him. “She’s protecting something important. It’s why she is down here.”

Mike mulled over the possibilities. “Is the Labyrinth separate from the house, or an extension of it?” He asked, thinking about the vision he had.

“We don’t know,” Green told him.

“We ended up here by accident,” Blue added. “At the house. Emily let us stay because she liked how we sparkled.”

“But she changed.”

“And it wasn’t a good change.”

“After the thing with Garrett.” Mike said. “When he attacked the house.”

“No.” All of the sparkle had gone out of Blue’s voice. “This was way after.”

“So what happened?”

The fairies were quiet. Mike was about to ask again, but they turned a corner, entering a chamber full of columns covered in thick, leafy vines. In the middle of the room, something large was hanging from ceiling, vines wrapped around a figure that slowly spun in place. The creature rotated slowly until her face came into view. Her eye narrowed.

“It’s about fucking time,” Sofia said.

-

Dana looked at herself in the mirror. She felt the same, or at least she thought she did. Touching the ceramic sink below the mirror, she realized that she couldn’t tell if it was hot or cold. This had been true of everything else she had encountered so far, a strange numbness that only applied to temperature.

Her sense of touch had been muted, but her sense of smell had received a boost. Even now, she could smell the corpse of her landlady in the basement, and Daryl’s breath in her bedroom. Daryl the necromancer had let her out of the basement to roam about, announcing that he intended to take a nap. He had warned Dana that any attempt to flee would permanently ruin her chances of returning to the Afterlife, and he would do worse things to her if he ever caught her. His driver, a bulky man in a suit, stood guard in the driveway. He had motor oil on his jacket from retrieving her broken bike and casually throwing it in the garage.

She didn’t know what to do or think. Her emotions were similar to sitting through Alex’s funeral. She knew they were there, but they were being tossed into the void quicker than she could feel them. Wandering from room to room, she thought about what Daryl had told her.

Mike apparently had something that Daryl thought he wanted. All Dana had to do was to go in his house and either get Mike to let Daryl in, or figure out what Mike was hiding and bring it to Daryl. She had asked what it was he was looking for, but Daryl informed her that she would know it when she saw it. He had also tasked her with creating a cover story, a reason for showing up unannounced. No matter what she had asked him, he either shrugged or changed the subject.

“Lazy fucker,” she muttered under her breath. Wandering through the house, she found herself staring out the door, looking at the back of the driver. He somehow made standing guard look casual, and the few neighbors who passed by didn’t seem to notice.

Dana let herself out, crossing over to the garage. She stepped into her home, wondering if it was the last time she would ever do so. Was it even her home now? After all, she was dead.

She walked over to her toolbox, searching for the boxcutter she kept there after a failed job stocking boxes at night. With a little digging, she found it. Moving quickly, she slashed the back of her forearm, digging the blade in deep.

Nothing happened. She didn’t even bleed, and it didn’t hurt. She had been convinced that Daryl had drugged her, and now she was left with a nasty looking wound on her left arm.

“Fuck,” she muttered, storming up the stairs to her room. It wasn’t until she was upstairs that she realized that the motorcycle on the garage floor was missing its motor. Leaning over the railing, she surveyed the mess below.

Behind her, the clock chimed. Rolling her eyes, she walked toward it, sitting on her bed and staring it down.

“What?” She hissed. “What the fuck do you want?”

The clock was silent. Frustrated, she stood up and looked out the window to see if the zombie goon had heard it, and was coming inside. Mr. Tall and Stupid remained at his post, surveying the street. When Dana turned back around, the clock was gone. Instead, a large, ornate typewriter had appeared on her desk.

“Yeah, sure, this helps me,” she muttered, standing up and staring at it. “So are you an autobot or a decepticon?”

The typewriter dinged at her, shifting back and forth. A few keys hammered the blank roller, and Dana rolled her eyes. She pulled a piece of notebook paper from under her desk and stuck it in the back. Immediately, the typewriter spooled itself, pulling the paper through.

“You’re a magic clock that can’t even provide its own paper,” Dana muttered. “I don’t suppose you can bring me back to life?”

The paper had finished spooling, and two keys hammered against the paper. She didn’t have to lift it free to read it.

No

“Oh, great. Awesome.” She watched the typewriter move again. In the back of her mind, she felt like she should feel surprise or shock seeing such an event, but she just couldn’t be bothered to care. She didn’t know how much of that was being a zombie, and how much of it was being denied an eternity with Alex.

What happened?

“That man who came for me killed me, that’s what happened.” Dana held up her ruined arm. “I’m dead, and he wants me to go to the house where you came from and steal something or con the owner into letting me in.”

Several seconds passed, and the typewriter started moving again.

You should go there. You can get help.

“Oh really? Who’s gonna help me? You? The guy who lives there?”

Someone will help, it told her. This man will not help you.

“What do you know, you’re just a magic clock. Speaking of which, what are you exactly? Why did you come here?”

I needed fixing, the clock told her.

“Why did I have to fix you?” Dana stood up and walked over to her dresser. She opened up her drawers and began pulling out clothes. “I bet Mike could have hired someone. Dude seems like he has plenty of money.”

It had to be you. The typewriter paused for several seconds, then spooled the paper up to make room for more text,  dinging as it reset itself. You had the spark.

“I had the spark?”

You are dead now. I’m sorry.

“You’re gonna be sorry when I toss you out that window.” Dana spread out her clothes, picking a pair of low cut jeans and a tank top. “And why did I have to fix you? What are you exactly?”

I am a mimic, the typewriter answered. My heart was broken. I could no longer transform.

“I didn’t see a heart when I was in there,” Dana muttered. “You were all busted gears. And what the fuck is a mimic?”

My heart changes to match my appearance. And mimics are creatures that mimic things.

“Gee, that explains everything.” Dana picked out a jacket to go over her tank top. “I don’t suppose you know what Daryl wants from the house?”

I don’t. And you should not help him. Help Mike.

“I’ve got my own problems.”

I will help you.

“Help me how? You’re a fucking typewriter.”

I am whatever I need to be. I can change shape when nobody is looking.

“What about when I was inside you? I could still see you, and you grew legs or something.”

That was different, the typewriter wrote. Watch.

Dana jumped when the typewriter grew a pair of long, metallic arms with razor blades at the end. It whipped them back and forth for emphasis, then retracted them. Dana squinted her eyes, but couldn’t see the seam where they had disappeared.

“How is that not transforming?” Dana asked.

Not transforming. Part of the form. Hidden when I change. The typewriter stood up on a pair of metal legs. Legs were already here.

“No deal. I refuse.” Dana looked back out the window. It looked like the driver was staring into the sun. “I’m just going to do what he asks. No offense, but I want to see Alex again.”

I understand. The typewriter sat quietly for several moments, then started typing again. Take me to Mike. Use me to get in the house.

“That… would work, actually.” Dana frowned. “You would do that for me?”

I owe you. Turn around. The typewriter spat out the paper with a final ding. Dana picked it up and closed her eyes instead. She could hear the strange shifting of wood on metal, and opened her eyes to see that the typewriter was now an ornate desk clock. Picking it up, she inspected the surface, looking for hidden limbs.

“Are you really in there?” Dana asked. In response, an unseen flap opened, and a cuckoo bird jumped out at her, announcing the top of the hour. “Okay. Well, I guess we are just waiting for sleeping beauty to wake up.”

The clock chimed again.

-

“Are you going to keep staring at me or what?” Mike had watched Sofia swing away from him and back again, still unmoving. He wasn’t entirely certain whether to laugh or not, but two things had suddenly occurred to him.

The first thing that he realized was that the vines had restrained Sofia in such a way that her arms had been pulled up behind her. Her breasts had pushed hard enough against the fabric of her blouse that, in conjunction with the tightness of the vines, the fabric had split, revealing an enormous amount of cleavage.

The second was how pissed at her he was.

“I haven’t decided yet,” he told her. “You lied to me.”

Sofia rolled her eye. “Of course I lied to you. You were only going to get in the way if you came with us.”

“And yet, here you are. I don’t know if Abella or Tink are even alive, and I believe the blame lies solely on your shoulders.” Mike walked closer to her, contemplating the thick foliage that had pinned her in place. “As for getting in the way, it looks like I made it this far without your help. I’m busy trying to save your ass so that we can get out of here and stop a coven of assholes from breaking through the Geas.”

“The house is under attack?” Sofia asked.

“Yes. Yes it is. I left the others up there to deal with it so that I could come down here and find Tink so that she can show me how to turn on the house’s defenses.”

“Which is something she needs her goggles to do. Or rather, you will need her goggles.” Sofia frowned. “Years ago, Emily tried to make amends with Tink by giving her those goggles. It was after an incident involving some guy who broke in, I don’t know the full details. Those goggles, when worn by the Caretaker, can be used to activate the house’s defenses once every twenty four hours. I thought it was a terrible idea at the time, but Emily and I weren’t exactly on speaking terms at that point.”

“I’m hardly on speaking terms with you right now!” Mike was near enough now that he could see how she had been tied up. So many vines currently held her in place that he wasn’t sure which one to cut first. He didn’t need her face planting on the stone beneath. “It occurred to me, on my very long walk into the forest and back, that you have been particularly nasty to me.” Identifying a vine, he grabbed it with one hand only to cry out when the vine tried to curl around him. Drawing his dagger, he sliced cleanly through it. “Shit, that startled me!”

“Now you know why I’m stuck.” Sofia cast her gaze toward the floor. Mike saw the hilt of her collapsible sword. “I tried to cut myself free, but there were too many of them. My sword is sharp, but not sharp enough, apparently. The few that grabbed me lifted me up into a whole tangle of these things.”

“Right.” Mike contemplated the structure of the vines again. If he wasn’t careful, he could end up getting grabbed. He would have to cut selectively. 

“I wish our positions were switched,” Sofia grumbled.

“Oh. I’m sorry. Would you like someone smarter to come along? Seriously, what’s your problem with me?” Mike selected another vine, slicing cleanly through. This vine retracted into the darkness like an elastic band, the other half dangling pitifully off of Sofia.

“I wasn’t being rude,” Sofia muttered. “It’s my gift. If our positions were switched, I could have you out in a couple of minutes.”

“Your gift?” 

“Do you know why a cyclops only has one eye? We gave up the other for the ability to see the future. We were tricked, and the only future we got to see was our own deaths.” Sofia let out a sigh. “However, after centuries of living with this curse, the magic has evolved some. Some interesting variations sprung up. Being able to see the death’s of others was highly uncommon, but was a great moneymaker. My variation is one of the closest to what should have happened?”

“You can see the future?” Mike asked.

“Only about thirty seconds in, but not always. Something has to trigger it. My death, for one. I have seen myself die hundreds of times. Extreme emotional or physical sensations, like a bucket of ice water being dumped on me, or pain. All those things.”

“All the traps that were set off.” Mike looked back at the door to the Labyrinth. You set them all off, didn’t you?”

“I was running from the minotaur. Tink got caught in a cage, and when he got near, I tried to lure him away.”

“How did Tink get caught in a cage?”

Sofia shook her head. “It was such a simple trap. A stone pedestal in the middle of the room had her goggles on it. She got excited and ran up, only for the goggles to vanish and a cage to drop down and trap her. I haven’t heard so many swear words before.”

“And you didn’t see it coming?”

“It wasn’t my own death or pain. That is part of my issue with you.”

“What did I do?”

“Not just you. Humans. You are obsessed with future sight, magical items, and the like. The main reason I am even in that library is that your kind wiped out my tribe so many years ago. I thought that I could get past it, but every new Caretaker eventually comes to me wanting to advance themselves, to become stronger. Emily certainly did it toward the end, and I knew you would be no different.”

“Why, because I wanted to help Tink get her goggles back?”

“I caught you fucking in my library. Not the best first impression.”

“So you’re mad at me and not Tink?” Mike cut another vine. 

“Tink is a goblin. That’s different.”

“So you’re a racist then. Racist against humans.”

“Like your kind has any room to talk. You’ve wiped out so many different creatures, magical or otherwise, and you can’t even look past the color of your own skin…hey, why did you stop cutting?” Mike had stepped back, crossing his arms across his chest. 

“Honestly? Because you’re being a bitch.” Mike stared away from her, trying to ignore the rising heat in his face. “I’m sorry about what happened in the Library. If I had known someone lived there, it wouldn’t have happened. The only reason we were there was because I was trying to help someone else, and I’m not sorry for that.

“And you are right. Humans, as a whole, are giant pieces of shit. We do horrible things, and we probably always will. But you know what? Not everybody is a piece of shit. If I wanted to, I could sell this place, move far, far away and never have to deal with its problems. But I won’t. Why? Because I actually fucking care.” Sighing, Mike sliced another vine away. “I even care about you, despite your shitty fucking attitude.”

Sofia had gone quiet, her own face turning red. Mike could hear her breathing change, a subtle shift that made him think that the vines might be squeezing her too hard. He reached behind her, carefully sliding the dagger beneath a pair of vines that were squeezing her ribs. The moment he sliced them, Sofia’s whole body swung forward, pushing up against Mike.

“Mmm, gah!” Mike’s face was not only buried between Sofia’s breasts, but now the vines clutching her reached for him, pulling him tightly against her. He fought back, shoving hard against Sofia in an attempt to get himself free. He managed to push himself free, but the only part of Sofia he was able to push against that was vine free was her ample chest. The vines tried to pull him off his feet, but he cut himself free, stepping several feet back from Sofia. The vines settled, wrapping once more against her. 

Sofia was breathing even harder now, her mouth open. Worried, Mike moved closer, but he could tell the vines weren’t restricting her breathing. Puzzled, he noticed that her cheeks had gone very red.

“Are you okay?” Mike asked. Sofia remained silent, so he repeated himself.

“It’s my breasts,” she said.

“What about them?” They were threatening to break free, her flesh overflowing through the split in her shirt.

“They’re really sensitive right now.”

Uh oh. Mike scanned the sky, half expecting a mandragora pod, or something similar. He wasn’t in the mood to fuck himself silly for the next several hours. “Is the plant doing something to you?”

Sofia didn’t say, but she was squirming now.

“Hey! Is the plant doing something to you?” Seeing that she wasn’t paying attention, he grabbed Sofia by the chin, forcing her to look him in the eyes. “Tell me what’s wrong!”

“Fucking human,” she muttered.

“One eyed bitch.” He looked for another vine to cut, but saw that Sofia was rocking herself in a specific pattern. Circling behind her, he saw that when her body had swung forward, the only vines keeping her from hanging completely vertical had wrapped themselves between her legs, spreading out over her hips. Every time Sofia swung forward even slightly, most of her weight was concentrated on the thick leafy vegetation that had wedged itself between her legs.

He saw the problem now. Looking at where she was suspended, it occurred to him that he could try and cut that part of her free first. At the same time, she didn’t seem to be complaining, and it would be safer to cut some of the other vines first.

“Hey.” Mike looked at Green, who was gently circling overhead. This may take a bit. Can you go watch the halls and warn us if the minotaur is coming?”

Green hovered in place, transforming into a fairy long enough to give him a salute, then flew away. Mike watched the fairy go, then let out a sigh. If she had been bigger, he would have put her in charge of cutting the cyclops free so he could watch the hall.

Mike sliced one of the other vines, moving away when it reached for him. Sofia’s body shifted her weight even harder onto the offending vine, and she let out a moan.

“Ok, let me take care of this one,” he told her. He touched the edge of the blade to the vine.

“Wait.”

“Excuse me?” Mike asked. He moved to where he could see her better. Her eye was closed, and she was breathing shallowly through her mouth.

“Don’t. Not yet.” Sofia opened her eye, and he saw that it was shimmering with an inner light. Was she seeing her future? “That one needs to come later.”

“Oh boy,” Blue whispered in his ear. Mike startled – he had forgotten the fairy was still on his shoulder. “Can you smell that?”

Mike sniffed the air. It still smelled of smoke and stone. “Nope.”

“Cut them in a certain order,” Sofia told him. “I’ll tell you which.”

“How can you… oh, right. Future sight.” He got ready to cut one of the other vines.

“Not that one.”

Mike moved to a different one. Sofia didn’t say anything, so he pushed the knife against it.

“Nope.”

Mike finally understood. He couldn’t wait for her to have a vision. He had to commit to an action for her to see it. He moved to the next one, and started cutting. The vine parted, and Sofia’s body shifted to the left. He repeated the process, slicing through a few more vines. The process was slow – every time he cut one vine, it seemed to reveal a couple more beneath it. They were so tangled together, that it was hard to tell which ones were which.

“Yes, that one,” Sofia told him, and he was about to cut the vine when he realized it was the dead piece of a vine he had already cut.

“What the fuck?” he muttered, pulling on the vine and then unwrapping Sofia. Holding the spare vegetation, he saw that Sofia’s weight was somehow further concentrated on her crotch, and his effort at cutting the last vine had simply rocked her back and forth. “What are you trying to get at?”

“Isn’t it obvious?” Blue hopped off his shoulder, standing on top of Sofia’s buttocks. 

“Shut up, little bug,” Sofia hissed.

“She’s trying to get off.” Blue made a show of sniffing the air. “Her arousal. It’s like a perfume to fairies.”

“She’s trying to get off? What the fuck?” He pushed Sofia, swinging her around to face him once more. “We don’t have time for this shit!”

“Oh!” Blue cried out, sniffing the air again. “Oh, I get it!”

“Shut up!” Sofia wriggled, trying to dislodge the fairy, but Blue held on to the fabric of her pants. “Shut the fuck up!”

What’s going on?” Mike stepped back, refusing to cut another thread. “Tell me.”

Sofia looked away, but Blue just laughed. “She is so turned on right now!”

“By the vines? Because she’s tied up?”

“That’s only half of it!” Blue hopped onto Sofia’s head. “She likes it when you’re rough with her!”

“Seriously?” Mike squatted so that he was eye level with the cyclops. “I thought you hated me.”

“I do!” Sofia spat,  scowling at him. “Ever since I saw you fucking that dirty little goblin!”

“You bitch!” Mike shouted, his whole face burning. He didn’t care if Sofia hated him, but he refused to let anyone talk that way about Tink. He was about to launch a verbal assault when he saw Sofia’s cheeks flush, and the cyclops let out a small moan.

“Told ya!” Blue hovered above Sofia when she shook her head. “She’s trying to get a rise out of you!”

“That doesn’t make a whole lot of sense.” Seeing an opportunity, Mike grabbed Sofia’s chin again. This time, he pinched her chin when he swung her toward him, watching her reaction closely. “Tell me the truth, Sofia.”

Sofia looked past him, defiance on her face.

“Now!” He shook her. Sofia gasped, her eyelid fluttering.

“The vines,” she whispered. “I feel so powerless when they’re on me.”

“And?” Mike shook her again.

“I was trying to get myself off.” Sofia slumped. “I didn’t want you to know.”

“It’s not really that big a deal,” he told her. ”All you did was waste my time.”

I know, but…” Sofia fixed him with a hard stare. “I liked it. When you got mad at me. It made me feel even more powerless. A cyclops can see the means of their death from the day they are born, but I’m different. I can see the future constantly, and I can change it. My whole life, I’ve been changing my fate, thirty seconds at a time. When I see the future, I actually live it, it actually happens for me. I have died so many times, just running through this cave, I have experienced pain nobody should live through, and each time I change my future, it’s like remembering a faded dream.”

“I’m not following.”

“When I came in here, I leaned against one of the columns, and the vines grabbed me. I tried to fight back and got caught. They weren’t trying to harm me, or kill me, and as a result, I didn’t see it coming. The longer I sat here, the longer I felt what it meant to be powerless, to be like everybody else. And when you came in, a mere human, and you suddenly had all this power over me, I was suddenly so turned on.” Sofia shivered. “The thought of someone like you being able to do whatever you want to someone like me…”

Mike finally got it. “You think humans are beneath you, don’t you?”

Sofia nodded.

“And the thought that someone like me,” he began, stroking her cheek with his finger. “Could do whatever I wanted to you…” His finger moved down her collar, skirting a vine and settling on the thick flesh of her breast.

“Don’t touch me!” She shouted. Mike removed his finger, and Sofia’s mouth opened wide. “No, please, don’t stop!”

“Which is it?” Mike crossed his arms. “Do you want me to touch you or not?”

“I…” Sofia’s lips trembled. He could see a thousand decisions cross her face all at once, and her eye flickered with its own inner light as her futures unfolded before her. “I… I want you to do it, but I want to tell you to stop. But I don’t want you to stop.”

Wow. Staring at the pretty cyclops hanging before him, he couldn’t help but shake his head. Kneeling so that he was eye level again, he grabbed her chin, holding her steady before him. There was somehow anger and anticipation, her cheeks flushed with the rush of emotions running through her body. 

“You want me to be rough, don’t you?” He asked. He had never done anything remotely like what he was about to do, but he could feel it now, that tiny piece of Naia deep inside his soul, holding his hand and guiding him forward through the unknown. “You want me to be rough, and tell you what a bitch you are for making me come all this way to save your ass. You want me to push you around, to make you feel helpless, to take control of your fate, all so that you can talk back to me and tell me what a piece of shit I am?”

The light inside of Sofia’s eye was flickering wildly, and she was panting heavily. Through gritted teeth she answered him, her voice a sinister hiss.

“Yes.”

“Well then.” Mike knelt down and grabbed some of the severed vines. “I guess maybe we can make a little time to get carried away.” Looping the vines through his hand, he now held a small collection of them, each about a foot long. Giving a casual swing through the air, he smiled at the way the air rushed through them. Moving close to her ear, he whispered.

“When you’ve had enough, the safe word is red.”

“Ugh. Even your ideas are boring,” Sofia muttered, but Mike gave her face a push, sending her whole body back. She snarled at him when she swung back, but Mike stepped aside, letting her pass. Her backside swung back toward him, and that’s when he cracked her across her ass with his makeshift cat o-nine tails. Sofia let out a shriek, followed by a stream of expletives. Mike let her swing again, then smacked her in the same spot.

“Look at how high and mighty you are,” he told her, dragging the vines across her back. The vines holding her ignored their touch, but occasionally reached for Mike’s hand. “You can see the future, yet you fell into a trap designed for idiots.”

“Fuck you,” Sofia hissed. 

“Maybe. I haven’t decided yet.” He playfully smacked her butt, then dragged the whip around her thighs to where he could see her breasts. “I suppose I might if you beg for it.”

“Filthy fucking human,” she said, gasping when he dragged the vines across her breasts. “Can’t even fucking function without a bunch of girls to take care of you.”

“Ooh, I’m hurt.” Mike pinched one end of the whip and stretched it before releasing it. It snapped up against Sofia’s breasts, leaving little red lines on her pale skin. Sofia gasped, then moaned. “You can do better than that.”

“Dumb luck. That’s the only thing going for you.” Sofia’s eye lit up and she gasped. Mike realized that he had been about to smack her again, but she was now living the experience. Instead, he ignored her, giving her another push. When Sofia realized that her vision didn’t come to pass, she muttered at him in another language, one he didn’t recognize.

Thirty seconds. She could see roughly thirty seconds into the future. He set the timetable in his mind, wondering just how much he could do in thirty seconds. On her next pass, he hooked his fingers in the back of her pants, sliding them down to her upper thighs where the vines had her tied. She wasn’t wearing underwear, her bare cheeks presented before them in all their glory. Red lines stood up on her flesh, and he grabbed her ass with his hand, squeezing it. Sofia moaned, and he lifted the whip to smack her again, aiming for the left cheek.

Sofia let out a shriek, and Mike quickly changed trajectory, hitting her right butt cheek instead. Sofia screamed, her whole body spasming in the ropes. Mike rubbed her ass on both sides, and she went back to moaning.

“Wow,” Blue said, alighting on his shoulder. “She is so damp!”

“F-f-fuck you,” Sofia sputtered. “Stop touching me!” Mike swatted her ass with his hand, then tried to smack her again. She hollered before he hit her, so he gave her a squeeze instead, confusing the nerves in her body. If his theory was true, she was now feeling both experiences at once. Kneeling down, he made a slit at the top of Sofia’s shirt where the tear had formed. Her breasts pushed their way free, and he marveled at how pillowy they were. Grinning sadistically, he swung the whip.

Sofia’s eye lit up, and she screamed again, but Mike changed the direction of his swing, stepping forward to suck one of her large nipples into his mouth. Sofia hollered, so he gave her breast a squeeze, sliding his fingers together to pinch her nipple, stretching it out.

“FUCK!” Sofia shuddered.

“Look at how slutty you are,” Mike told her, pinching both of her nipples now. He gave them a little tug, pulling hard enough for her body to swing. “Turned on by a worthless human.”

“You piece of shit,” she said, but Mike gave her a light slap. Her cheeks were ablaze, and he started to slap her again. Her eye flashed, and he grabbed her face instead of hitting her, pulling his mouth to hers. She moaned loudly, biting her own lip once he stopped. “Fucking ass.”

“Conceited bitch.” He pushed her face again, and she swung away. Moving to a better position, he let her swing into him, his fingertips moving past her ass and rubbing against her outer folds.

“For someone who hates humans so much, you sure are pretty wet.” He shifted his hand to a better position. When Sofia cried out before he could finger her, he slapped her ass instead. The thought that he was making her experience multiple sensations at once had him rock hard. He felt a tugging at his pants, and looked down to see Blue trying to free his cock.

“That’s not for you,” he told her, swatting her away. She blew a loud raspberry at him, and turned into a fairy light, hovering over the proceedings. He alternated between lightly fingering Sofia and swatting her, either with his hand or the whip. He didn’t always change course, sometimes following through to keep Sofia off guard. Her eye glowed fiercely, and Mike wondered if thirty seconds was enough that she was experiencing multiple outcomes. She no longer swore at him, what few words she spat coming in unintelligible bursts. Sometimes she would swing around so that he was facing her, and he discovered her breasts were just as sensitive. Squeeze, slap, or pinch, there was plenty of real estate for him to utilize.

“You fuck,” Sofia told him. Mike gently pulled on one of her nipples,  then spun her around. Careful where his hands went, he pulled her ass toward him, inhaling the salty scent of her swollen labia.

“Let’s switch it up.” Mike buried his face in her cheeks, his tongue working circles around her snatch. Sofia bucked, and the game intensified. He would start nibbling her clit, then switch to fingering her at the last second. He would slap her ass instead of squeezing it. Sofia’s whole body went rigid multiple times, and every time he would completely change his tactics as a result of it. Every spasm brought with it a whole flood of fluids.

“Let… me… cum,” Sofia cried out. Mike realized now that she was experiencing orgasms in the future, orgasms that he kept bypassing by changing his behavior to fuck with her. Her whole body went rigid again, and he stood up, slapping her ass with the vines hard enough that she yelped.

“Beg for it,” Mike told her.

“I’m not going to beg… fuck!” Sofia stiffened when Mike gave her a push and held out two fingers, waiting for her body to swing back and impale itself on his hand. At the last second, he moved his hand away, cracking down on her ass with his hand hard enough that he left a handprint. He repeated the process again, this time with the intention of curling his fingers tightly against her g-spot and pulling hard enough to swing her farther up. Sofia screamed, but this time he stepped out of the way at the last second, watching her writhe and squirm.

“Beg.” He playfully slapped at her breasts with the vine.

“No!” Sofia snarled at him, so he gave her nipple a playful pinch, her expression softening instantly.

“Then I might just leave you like this.” Mike stepped back, savoring the expression on her face. However, the angry glare she was giving him gave him a fantastic idea. “You know, I’ve been doing all the work here. I imagine you just sit around on your lazy ass in that Library all day long.”

“Don’t you dare,” she said. Mike ignored her, pulling his cock out. He was impressed to see how wide her eye could get at the sight of it. He gave it a couple of gentle pumps, making sure it was nice and hard for her.

 Above him, Blue let out a cheer. 

“You know the magic word. If you want to be a quitter, that is.” He stood in front of her, one hand on the back of her head, pulling her close to him. He cracked her lightly on the ass, and she cried out, her hot breath tickling the bottom of his cock. “Here’s the new game. You suck, or I whip.” He smacked her playfully, the vines spreading out just right to hit both ass cheeks. “You suck, or I pinch.” He cupped one of her copious breasts, stroking gently down to her swollen nipples. He pinched it, giving it enough of a tug that she swung forward, his cock pressing against her cheek. “Maybe if you do a good job, I’ll consider getting you off.”

Sofia’s response was to spit at him, which was a mistake. Her saliva landed on the head of his cock, and he gave it a playful stroke, spreading the fluid across his swollen glans.

CRACK!

“Ow, you dirty fucking – ow!” Sofia’s mouth opened wide, and Mike pulled her forward, his rock hard member popping into her mouth. Squirming to fight her way free, Mike pumped himself into her mouth. Her tongue pressed against him, and she shook her head enough that she squirmed free, swinging away.

“You’re worthless! You’re shit! You’re – fuck!” Mike grabbed her nipple, halting her swing and pulling her forward again. Tightening his fingers threateningly around her areola, she opened her mouth and pulled him in.

“Wow!” Blue was on her hands and knees, leaning forward so that her face was just above Sofia’s snatch. She was moving one of her arms around, collecting Sofia’s fluids and lapping them up. Her wings fluttered, and she let out a sigh of contentment.

“If you make her cum,” Mike warned, “I will wear you on my dick and fuck her in the ass.”

Blue’s antenna immediately sprang to attention, and she spun around, a worried look on her face. “I’ll be careful, I promise!”

“You do that,” Mike said. Out of Sofia’s gaze, he winked at Blue, who smiled back at him before resuming. Mike could feel the back of Sofia’s throat along the tip of his swollen cock. He grabbed the back of her head, forcing himself farther into her throat. Her eye shot open, fixing him with a lustful, angry glare. Mike smiled – this was what he had been waiting for, that look of contempt and resignation. Sofia sucked him in deeply, then spat him out.

“How dare you,” she hissed, gasping for air. Mike cracked her again with the whip, careful to avoid Blue. Whatever Blue was doing was causing Sofia to react. Holding the whip in his teeth, he grabbed both of Sofia’s breasts, pushing them together and sliding his dick between them. Sofia moaned, then let out a tiny cry. Mike swatted at Blue, who took off momentarily, then settled back into position.

“Beg me to fuck you,” Mike said, his voice muffled by the whip. Gently pumping himself between her breasts, he pinched her nipples between his fingers.

“You piece of shit, get your hands off of me!” Sofia’s face had gone ruddy. “How dare you mmmmff!” Mike had shoved his dick back in her mouth, clamping his hands on the back of her head. She struggled, and he was able to slide himself all the way to the base. He counted to thirty, then pulled himself back out.

“Have anything to say to me?” he asked, removing his dick from her mouth. Spit was all over Sofia’s chin now, her face a wreck.

Sofia eyed him, her purple eye glowing so intensely that the ground around them was bathed in its glow.

“Just… get it over with.”

“Wrong answer.” Mike pushed himself back in again, this time counting to forty. Sofia squirmed and shrieked around his cock. This time, when he pulled himself out, she sucked him hard, his dick audibly popping free.

“Bet I won’t even feel it.” Tears were streaming down her cheeks, but a sadistic grin had spread across her face.

“How long can you hold your breath?” Mike asked, grabbing her again.

“Fifty seven seconds!” Sofia shouted just before Mike forced his way in again. He counted carefully, pistoning himself in the back of her throat, her whole body shaking in anticipation. She squirmed hard enough that Blue toppled off, falling most of the way to the ground before taking off. Mike got to fifty seven seconds, and pulled himself free, a long trail of saliva connecting his dick to her mouth.

“Fuck me!” Sofia cried, gasping for air. “Fuck me now!”

“It’s going to take more than that.” Mike spun her in place, contemplating how she hung. Using the dagger, he cut a few vines, releasing her legs to swing freely. She spread her legs apart, and Mike gave her a push, watching her swing in place. Teasing her with the ends of the whip, he gave her a few playful slaps.

“Please!”

“Not good enough.” Mike was hard and ready, but he needed more. Blue landed on the head of his cock, holding on with her tiny arms. “Tell me how much you want it.”

“I want to feel your filthy human dick inside of me!” Sofia gasped when Mike smacked her on the pussy. “I want you to stir my insides, I want to be your filthy bitch!” Mike gave her a push, lining himself up. “I want to cum so bad that – ngghh!” Her eye had flashed again, so Mike crouched down, his dick passing just beneath her and rubbing her clit instead of impaling her. Blue had jumped at the last second, landing on Sofia’s ass.

“God dammit Mike, fuck me! I want to – AHHHH!” Mike swung her again, but this time with every intention to roughly fuck her in the ass. The moment she screamed, he slid himself into her tight cunt instead, his balls swinging up to smack her swollen clit. Sofia screamed, her head tilting back and the light of her eye blazing a trail across the dark ceiling so far above. In her head, she was being fucked in the ass and the pussy on two different timelines, and it was simply too much for her to process.

The swing allowed him to establish a steady rhythm, her whole body rocking with every thrust. Her breasts rippled with the impact of his body against hers, and her eye light dimmed as her orgasm faded, her whole body going limp in the vines.

Mike wasn’t going to last long. Sofia’s orgasm had her clamping down on him hard enough that he could no longer pull himself free of her. Pumping himself into her as deep as possible, Sofia bent her legs, her heels pushing against Mike’s shoulder blades, preventing him from freeing himself. Letting out a loud cry of his own, he felt the pressure in his body building, his arms and legs shaking in anticipation.

“I’m going to cum inside you,” he told her. “I’m going to fill your beautiful pussy with dirty human sperm, and you’re going to love it so much that you’ll belong to me forever!”

“Don’t cum in me!” Sofia screamed, but she had him trapped. The fire in his belly released itself, the air around him suddenly going cold enough that he could see his breath. Mike grabbed onto her thighs hard enough that she would probably bruise, and pressed himself into her as deep as he could go. Sofia tightened her legs around his body, pulling him in tight. 

He came hard enough that he shouted, his voice echoing across the Labyrinth, coating her insides with his seed. Sofia released him, her long legs kicking wildly while he held tightly on to them. Biting his lip, he felt a second blast building up. Pulling out, he sprayed the rest of his load all across her ass and legs, nearly knocking Blue over. Panting loudly, he gave her ass one final swat with his hand.

“From now on, you belong to me.” Still hard, he pushed himself back inside of her. Sperm leaked free in heavy globs, splashing on the floor. “I will cum in you whenever I feel like it, wherever I feel like it.”

Sofia let out a moan, then went limp. Mike tossed the makeshift whip, and then carefully sliced the last vines holding her up, lowering her gently to the ground. Blue had landed on Sofia’s ass, carefully lapping up anything she could find, her whole body pulsating with light. Sofia’s breaths came hard and fast, her eye closed. Mike carefully cut the rest of the vines, and Sofia let out a sigh once her arms and legs were free. She tossed off the last few, and stood up so that Mike could help unwrap her. He grabbed ahold of one of the thickest vines and gave a gentle tug, and Sofia spun gently in place, letting Mike free her once and for all. He tossed the vegetation to the floor, squatting down to pick up her magic sword.

“I believe this is yours,” he told her. Sofia accepted it from him quietly, tucking it into a small sheath on her pocket. They stood there in silence, Blue fluttering in lazy circles around them. He wasn’t sure what to say, but he could feel that something between them had shifted. Sofia straightened out her clothing, adjusting her blouse to minimize the amount of cleavage she was showing. Mike could see that the torn fabric was straining to contain her, and wouldn’t be surprised to see it split the rest of the way.

“What now?” Sofia asked. Mike shrugged.

“We wait for the other fairy.” Mike gestured at Blue. “She is searching the Labyrinth right now, trying to find Abella and Tink. Once we are back together, we can figure out how to find and retrieve the goggles, and then get the hell out of here. The witch on the front lawn must have made some progress by now, and I am worried what will happen if she breaks the Geas.”

“A few things will happen,” Sofia answered. “Every protection on the house will end, for starters, sending wild magic out into the world to reek havoc. The house will struggle to decide its own identity and will become a random maze of rooms and hallways. The creatures who still sleep will awaken and flee, and who knows what will become of them. Other magical creatures will sense the artifacts hidden here and become drawn to this place, and it will become a daily battle to keep them out.”

“You speak like you’ve seen it happen.”

“Did you think this house was the only one like it?” Sofia asked. “The Architect built several homes such as this one over several centuries.” She frowned, staring at the floor. “They all used to connect to the Library. As far as I know, this home is the last of its kind.”

“There were other houses?” Mike shook his head. “That means there were other Caretakers, right?”

“Indeed, but I couldn’t tell you about them. When a house is destroyed, its secrets are lost. If the Geas is broken, our memories of the former Caretakers will fade, and anyone who leaves your side will soon forget you even existed.” Sofia waved her hand dismissively. “That’s the working theory, anyway. It’s the only explanation for why I can’t remember the few Caretakers I worked with from other homes.”

“Shit.” Mike stared at the floor. If he didn’t hurry, not only would the others lose their homes, but they would inevitably lose each other. Had the other houses had a family like his? What would happen to them all?

“Now for the big question at hand.” Sofia moved close to one of the columns. “The trap I was caught in wasn’t actually a trap. I mean, it sort of was, but I’ve been stuck here for hours and nobody came to check the trap. So either the trap maker is missing, or this room serves some other purpose.”

“What purpose would a room that restrains you even serve?” Mike asked.

Sofia grinned, her cheeks blushing. “I can think of one.”

Mike laughed. “You think the minotaur is getting his freak on with someone else in this room?”

“Maybe.” Sofia looked up into the dark of the ceiling, her eye narrowing. “What is that?”

“What is what?” Mike tried to follow her gaze, but it was all shadows to him.

“Here.” She held a hand out, and Mike handed her the dagger. Approaching one of the columns, she made a few strategic cuts. The unseen canopy above the shifted, and several vines drooped down. Mike moved out of the way, seeing that there was something tangled up in the vegetation. When it moved low enough, Sofia jumped up. Mike was surprised to see just how high she went – if she ever wanted to try out for the WNBA, he was sure they would have her. Grabbing hold of the substance in the canopy, she pulled it free. It collided with Mike, and his whole world went dark.

“What the hell is this?” He asked. He was now under a giant piece of fabric that felt leathery to the touch.

“Can’t tell.” Sofia found him in the dark, planting a small kiss on his jawline. She sliced a hole above them, and they stepped free of the unknown fabric.

“Holy fucking… fuck.” Mike stared in awe at their new discovery. It was huge, big enough to carpet the living room of the home. Wrinkled at the edges, it was covered in dark spots that were primarily focused along the middle. It had been up there for some time, yet held a slightly musky odor to it. Sofia handed him back his dagger, which he clutched tightly in his fist.

It was a giant snakeskin.

- 

“This is an interesting clock you have here.” Daryl was turning the mimic over in his hands, inspecting it carefully. “And you said Mr. Radley wanted you to fix it?”

“Yeah.” Dana sat next to Daryl in the back of the town car, which was on the freeway now. She was envious of the other drivers who passed them by, oblivious to just how awful life could actually be. Also, the smell of the freeway was absolutely dreadful. It was a mixture of fuel, asphalt, and the body odor of everyone who drove by.

“Tell me everything about it that you know.” Daryl was inspecting a maker’s mark on the bottom of the clock. “And keep in mind I can tell when you are lying.”

“Why do you think the clock is so important?” Dana didn’t like being forced to cooperate with Daryl, even if it did mean being allowed to pass on. The mimic had been willing to help her, and she didn’t feel that that was info Daryl needed to have. “I mean it looks like a clock.”

Daryl gave her a look, then opened a panel on the back. Inside, the gears slowly spun around each other. “He wanted you to fix it. Why?”

“I was delivering him a pizza when I spotted it inside the house. I thought it was really cool, because I love how clocks work.” Or at least I did, she thought. Enthusiasm seemed to be another emotion lost to her as well. 

“Hmm. I sense a bit of confusion in your words.” He hooked his fingers inside the clock. “You said you spent hours fixing this, but if I were to rip these out, it wouldn’t bother you.”

“Well, it would… I guess.”

Daryl laughed. “Consider this one of the side effects of being dead. You see, I needed your body and mind in perfect condition so as to not arouse suspicion. Take my driver for instance. I just needed his body, his will is completely my own. I could tell him to hold onto a grenade, and he wouldn’t know any better. But you, you would take convincing. However, the one thing that takes the most energy to preserve is emotions. I allowed you to keep only a couple, the ones that apply to your dear, departed Alex. Love, despair, loss. I’m afraid that you won’t find much enjoyment in any of your old hobbies.”

“It’s not like I’ll have much time to pursue them,” Dana said. “I plan to give you what I want so you can give me what I want.”

“That is true. I may be many things, but I am definitely a man of my word.” Daryl handed her the clock. “But to clarify, let me tell you what could happen if you disobey me.”

Dana frowned. She wasn’t sure she needed to hear this.

“There are many stages of being undead. For example, my driver is just a meat suit that takes orders. You, however, are a different case. By leaving you with your mind, I am unable to exert willpower over you. As popular as it was to be a vampire a decade ago, why do you think nobody romanticized being a zombie?”

“Because zombies suck.” Dana looked back out the window. “In the movies, they are mindless brain eaters.”

“A popular trope, I can assure you. You see, your mind has control over your body – for now. You are, however, very dead, and as you begin to decay, you will find yourself with some uncontrollable urges. It’s like being on a diet, and having to live in a house full of cookies. Eventually, you will snap, and bite into anything you can catch.”

“Is that when I start eating brains?”

“Brains are best, to be fair. A person’s very life force resides in the mind. The heart would be a close second. Once your appetite is sated, the decay process will reverse itself, and you will find yourself as you are now. However, I can tell you hat the process of murdering and eating another human does put quite a stain on your soul.” Daryl chuckled. “You also run into the issue of being unable to die.”

“I thought a bullet to the brain killed zombies.”

“At best, it severs the connection to the body. Have you ever heard of somebody who gets a brain injury and survives?”

“Phineas Gage, right?” An infamous case she had learned about in high school,  railroad worker who accidentally blew a hole through his skull with a railroad spike and lived. 

“You got it. Imagine that you can’t die, that you are trapped inside a decaying mind. You will simply exist, driven insane by a brain that can no longer feel any connection to itself. As long as a single piece of you exists, you will feel eternity pass you by until the universe is eventually eaten up by the Old Ones.” Daryl stared wistfully out the window. “And by then, your soul will belong to them.”

“Sounds awful.” Dana fought the scream of terror inside of her, the thought of an eternity rotting away. Apparently Daryl had left her her sense of fear.

“That’s underselling it. Or perhaps you manage to survive until the last human dies, forced to wander the hellscape of Earth until the sun finally burns the place down. You have all sorts of options.”

“But I plan on helping you,” she said. “Because then you’ll let me move on.”

“You’ve got it.” Daryl’s phone rang. “Excuse me, I must take this.” Daryl turned away, sticking a Bluetooth headset in one ear. “Hello? Sebastien, please, you are shouting entirely too much. I am on my way there now. No, I don’t know why she wont answer her phone, Kali does what she wants. Oh, tunnel ahead, gonna lose you.” Daryl touched a button on the headset, tucking it into his pocket. “Someone is being a drama queen.”

“Trouble at the office?” Dana asked.

Daryl ignored her, staring out the window. Dana focused her attention on the clock, running her fingers over its smooth features. This whole nightmare will be over soon, she told herself. She pictured Alex standing before her on the balcony, staring out toward the ocean, the sunlight making her skin glow.

“It’s go time.” Daryl leaned across Dana, opening her car door. She realized that they were parked at the end of Mike’s block – she had gone into a road trance. Stepping out, she held the clock tightly against her chest. Daryl walked behind her, casually assessing the neighborhood.

“Smells like a storm just rolled through here,” he said, staring at the sky. Dana smelled it, but she also smelled sand, smoke, and soil. Approaching the Radley house, she smiled at the sight of the roof over the large stone walls. This place had always been cool to look at, a mysterious force all its own. Turning the corner, they walked between the large stone lions perched atop the wall. It was where the driveway and walkway met up, then split apart. The house was quiet, but it looked like some repairs had recently been done.

“Keep going without me,” Daryl told her. “I’ll watch from here.” Nodding, she walked up the driveway, the smell of smoke getting thicker. She was nearly at the door when her brain registered that a car had crashed into the front porch.

How had she not noticed that? Looking across the yard, she saw that a large amount of sand had been spread across the yard, and part of the porch had collapsed. Was she really that out of it? 

“Whoa.” Looking up, she saw a crack in the sky. There was also a large scorch mark in the middle of the lawn, the grass turned to ash. Turning around to face the door, she saw that the porch was soaking wet. What had happened here?

There was no time to think about it. Taking a deep breath, she knocked on the door.

What would she say? Would she show him the clock? Convince him to invite her inside, maybe talk about the fact that she had fixed his pet mimic?

No answer. Walking along the porch, she peeked in the window. Nobody was inside, and the furniture had been tossed about.

“Fuck,” she whispered. The clock in her hand chimed quietly. She grabbed the doorknob, letting herself in. The inside of the house contained a plethora of smells, too many for her to decipher. She smelled water, sand, and several different musky odors that made her think of sex with Alex after a day long hike. Walking through the front rooms, she heard several voices speaking to each other in the back. Approaching the back door, she saw a beautiful ornate fountain in the garden. Inside the fountain, a woman with flowing blue and green hair was addressing a few others.

One of the women was all white, from her hair to her feet. She was also floating a few inches off of the ground. The next one looked ordinary – her black and red hair hung loosely around her shoulders. 

The last one was a horse. Mouth open, Dana watched the centaur circle the back of the fountain. All four of them were speaking in hushed tones, something about the witch out front. Dana hadn’t seen anyone else, but she now felt like she had stepped into an alternate dimension. What was one more anomaly?

“Hold it.” The woman in the fountain held up her hands, then looked directly at Dana. “Come out. Don’t be afraid.” Stunned, Dana stepped through the back door, the clock held tightly to her chest. The others watched her approach.

“Who are you?” The normal woman asked.

“I’m Dana.” She couldn’t keep her eyes off of the centaur. “I’m looking for Mike.”

“How did you get in?” The same woman asked.

“I let myself in,” she said, nearing the fountain. Something about the woman in the fountain made her feel at peace. “I brought Mike’s clock back.” Standing there, she felt a slight pinch at her neck, like a bug had bitten her. Scratching it out of habit, she made eye contact with the red and black haired woman who now stood next to her. “What?”

Everyone else exchanged looks.

“She should be asleep by now,” the woman said. “There’s no reason she should still be awake, unless…”

“I feel like I’m asleep.” Dana said. She set the clock down on the edge of the fountain. “This all feels like a bad dream. I wish I could wake up from it.”

“Well, let’s see if we can help you wake up.” The woman in the fountain sat down on the edge, taking Danas hand in her own. “My name is Naia. I’m a nymph. Why don’t you tell me about yourself?”

To her own surprise, Dana told her everything.