Hollywood What If

[Shout out to King BABA, Madlad, and Ecokane 0!]

Hollywood What If Chapter 37

[Note: If you haven't seen Napoleon Dynamite, you can skip the bracketed paragraphs. Well, the plot of Napoleon Dynamite is simple, and there's no twist or anything. It's a pure popcorn comedy, so...]

Kazir and Reese found seats and sat down. They held their popcorn with excitement. They were excited to see their movie. They were here to have fun.

"Dude, I swear this movie is funny."

Kazir heard a murmur behind them.

"Then why haven't I heard anything about it?"

"Dude, I promise you. You will laugh when you see this movie. It's awkward yet quirky, I don't know how to explain it. Besides, we already saw Braveheart twice. The ending was not satisfying at all, he just shouted 'freedom' for five minutes!"

"That's an exaggeration, and Braveheart is based on a true story."

"All right, all right. Let's just watch the movie, okay?"

Billy and Wallace were college kids. They were movie goers and loved to watch movies every week.

Yesterday, Billy was curious when he found out that another movie was released to the theater. He didn't know anything about the movie, but he decided to go see it.

When the credits rolled, Billy was smiling from ear to ear. The movie made him laugh, and that was enough for him to invite his friend to watch it with him.

[The movie opened with Napoleon. He was an introverted and socially awkward teenager. He was riding the school bus on his way to school.]

"Is he the protagonist? He looks really dorky."

"Shh, just watch, okay?"

A few seconds later, the audience started laughing at Napoleon and Kip. Their combination was funny.

[Napoleon had three relatives. The first was his brother (I'm not sure about this one). Kip Napoleon. He was a guy in his thirties who usually chatted online with his girlfriend. Like Napoleon, he was also a nerd.]

[Second was Napoleon's grandmother. She was an active woman who liked to ride motorcycles in the desert. She had an accident because of it.]

[Third was his Uncle Rico, who lived in a camper van. Napoleon spent the most part of movie arguing with his uncle.]

"Haha, this is funny!"

Napoleon's fight with his brother and uncle made them laugh.

[Napoleon met Deb and Pedro. Pedro let Napoleon use his bike, and unfortunately Napoleon crushed his balls.]

"This is stupid... Pfft--"

[His first meeting with Deb was funny. Especially when Deb showed Napoleon a picture of a model.]

Reese giggled as she watched the scene. She didn't expect it to be so entertaining. When they shot that scene, they kept their job serious.

[At school, Napoleon struggles to fit in with his classmates. However, he finds solace in his love of drawing... His drawing was ugly.]

"Pfft--ha-ha! I can't believe he got a girl to go to the prom with a drawing like that!"

[As Napoleon and Pedro campaign for class president. They face many obstacles, including Summer's popularity.]

[However, the duo manages to win over the student body. With Napoleon's memorable dance routine].

This scene was simple, yet the audience giggled. Perhaps there was something unique about Napoleon's dance.

[In the end, Pedro was elected as the school president. Napoleon got chance to show off his dance moves. And Kip decided to move to Detroit with his girlfriend LaFawnduh. Napoleon also got closer to Deb.]

The movie ended and everyone clapped.

"Woohoo! Nice movie! Nice movie!"

The theater was only about 40% full, but everyone enjoyed the movie.

Billy and Wallace left the theater in a good mood.

"Hi, guys. I'm just here to ask you a few questions about Napoleon Dynamite. From the highest rating of A+ to the lowest of F, how would you rate this movie?"

There were usually people who interviewed moviegoers after they had seen a movie. They were from the Cinemascore.

"A!"

"A+. I recommend everybody see it!"

Billy and Wallace rated it pretty high. They were entertained, so they rated it pretty high.

"Thanks, guys."

Ramon was an employee of Cinemascore and his job was to ask people their opinion about movies.

This time he was asked to interview people about Napoleon Dynamite.

'600 questionnaires. 47 gave it a B grade and the rest were A's and A+'

The average was rated A.

"With that reputation, the movie will probably have an increase in theaters next week. Of course, everything depends on the box office."

As long as the movie had a positive income, the theaters would milk it.

The first day of Napoleon Dynamite was only $6,000.

The second day was October 13, 1995, Friday. The movie had $20 thousand.

Saturday, the third day of the movie. Napoleon Dynamite's income was $54 thousand.

Sunday, October 15, 1995. It was only $47 thousand.

Days passed and October 17th came. So far Napoleon Dynamite had only $166 thousand within the five days.

These days were the hardest for Kazir Grey. He could not sleep. He thought the movie was doing well. But he knew that Fox Searchlight Pictures might think otherwise.

Then he received a phone call. He smiled when he heard that Napoleon Dynamite would be expanding to 34 theaters.

This was the start of Napoleon Dynamite's race to the top of the weekly box office.

Six days after opening, Napoleon Dynamite had 34 theaters. More people started watching the movie.

October 23rd. In the whole week, the film grossed $1.5 million.

Fox Searchlight Pictures asked the Cinema Alliance to expand Napoleon Dynamite to 160 theaters.

Another seven days passed. October 30, 1995. Napoleon Dynamite had grossed $13.54. This result caused Cinema Alliance to increase the screening of Napoleon Dynamite.

November 6, 1995. The movie got $26 million within the week.

So far, the movie has grossed $40.47 million from 760 theaters.

Due to the strong word of mouth and reputation of Napoleon Dynamite, the Cinema Alliance increases its theater count to 1945 theaters!

November 13, 1995... After a whole month, the box office of Napoleon Dynamite was 78 million!

Napoleon Dynamite has grossed $78.24 million at the box office!

No one thought that the beginning of November would have a dark horse! A movie by an unknown director made $78 million in just one month!

[NOTE: I FUCKING HATE MATH!]

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