Here, Have a Cookie a Pokemon Fanfiction

“Apollo, stay close by,” I shouted as I released him. I turned towards May, who already had Sergei up. “How far out is the stupid forest?”

“We’ll be at the routed entrance by the end of the day. There’s a rest stop and port near the entrance that we can stay at. I figure we can crash there for the night and tackle the forest tomorrow,” May said. “Sergei, I’ll let you navigate this time.”

The phone started levitating out of May’s hands and took the lead.

“Sweet, in that case. Apollo, Emilie, I’ve got an idea for a joint training session,” I said with a grin.

My smile brokered different reactions from both of my Pokémon. Emilie was smiling back, and Apollo was shrinking away from the both of us.

'I’m being fixed up to walk the plank, aren’t I? Alright lass, what do you got for me?’ Apollo asked.

“Well, since your primary issue right now is stamina, I thought I’d have you fly while fighting through a low-level confusion.”

Apollo looked at me like I belonged in a mental ward.

‘I’ll keep it weak and amp it up as needed, Apollo. Manipulating living creatures at my level is... almost impossible. I was trying my best to pull you to us when we caught you, and you still almost got away,’ Emilie explained.

Apollo hesitantly nodded.

“If you really don’t want to do this, Apollo. I can think of something else. This just felt like the fastest way to work on Emilie’s power and your endurance at the same time.”

‘...It’s fine, Cap. I’m just not used to training... really at all,’ Apollo said. ‘I ain’t never shied away from a challenge, though. Hit me, lass.’

Emilie’s eyes glowed and Apollo sunk for a brief second before righting himself.

‘Wow, that’s a bit of a head rush,’ Emilie said.

May looked at us nervously.

“Are you sure it’s a good idea to be training like this on route? We could still get jumped by wild Pokémon, you know?” I smiled at May.

“That’s what I have you for!” I said. “And Wally too, I guess.”

“What do you mean, you guess?” Wally asked.

May just sighed and grabbed her Poke Balls. Samie and Suzaku appeared in a blinding flash of light.

“I mean May knew what to do with minimal prompting. Get your head in the game and let Sir Gawain out to play,” I said, grinning at May cheekily.

May glared at me.

“You’re lucky I’m enjoying the battling experience you’re giving me,” May said.

“Right, uh... Go, Gawain!” I put my hand on my face and looked away as Wally fumbled with the ball. He finally released Gawain, who took a brief look around before dropping to a kneeling position in front of Wally.

‘My liege.’ He teleported to Wally’s shoulder shortly thereafter.

“So, as a heads up.” I cut in before Gawain could say anything else. “Call outs on release are always lame.”

“Yup!” May agreed. “It also doesn’t really do anything. Pokémon are aware of what goes on outside of the Poke Ball. It was a trend in Kanto for a bit because that region let ten-year-olds go off on their own into the field.”

“Nerd,” I said.

May smiled malevolently at me as Samie suddenly decided to stop in front of me. I tripped and took a nose dive into the ground.

“Thank you, Samie,” May said, her smile turning genuine as she stared down at me.

“No call outs, got it,” Wally said, disregarding us entirely.

‘Captain, out of idle curiosity, how long are we doing this?’ Apollo asked.

“Till one of you is too tired to do it anymore.” I replied, slowly pulling myself up from the ground.

‘You’re a slave driver, captain.’ Apollo sighed.

‘I’m just going to focus on this, Lea. This... is a lot harder than I thought,’ Emilie said.

I nodded. Wally looked between us nervously as he looked out across the field.

“I’m... really not sure about training in the field like this, Lea. I kind of agree with May,” Wally said. “What if we’re attacked?”

“Meh, May kicks butt too. It’s fine. I still have Joern as well. Speaking of...” I released Joern, picked him up, and rested him on my head. “Joern, I have a special training regimen for you as well. I call it target practice. Fire a low powered water gun at Apollo whenever the notion strikes you. Apollo, we’ll work on your dodging while we’re doing this.”

Joern shouted once in glee and Apollo almost crashed into the ground.

“Fine, I guess I’ll handle route cleanup for today. Again.” May sighed. “Suzaku, Samie, stay close and keep an eye out for trouble.”

Suzaku nodded once and started looking along the sides of the road for movement. Samie... blankly stared forward as he walked. Don’t know what I was expecting, really.

Joern fired and Apollo barely flew to the left of the stream.

‘So... what all are you doing to this poor bird?’ Gawain asked.

‘Torture. She’s torturing the poor bird,’ Apollo complained.

Joern took the opportunity to fire a shot that rang true.

‘Sink me, that water is cold.’

“Physical conditioning,” I pointed at Apollo. “Mental conditioning,” I pointed at Emilie. “and aim and vindication.” I pointed up at Joern. “Also, Wally, get your phone out, you’re missing most of the conversation.”

“Right! Uh... sorry.” Wally started checking his pockets.

‘Lady Lea is a harsh taskmaster indeed,’ Gawain muttered.

“There we go.” Wally grinned as he thumbed through the chat room. “Yeah, Lea’s training looks a bit... insane, huh?”

“Look, I figured this would be a good way to boost endurance. Emilie and Apollo can already do awesome stuff, they just don’t have the stamina to do it more than once a fight.” I looked over Apollo as he veered to the left of another water gun. “Like I said, if you want to do something else, Apollo-”

‘Nah, this is about as fun as the crow's nest, but I'll take it if it lets me tough out multiple Arial Aces.’

‘Pushing confusion like this is something I've never done before.’ Emilie sounded strained over the link. ‘I’ll adapt.’

Another jet of water hit its mark.

‘That said, enough with the damn barrel shooting!’ Apollo shouted.

“Fine, Joern, no more target practice.” I ordered.

‘Aww...’ I felt Joern sag in sadness.

“So... is it normal to fill out your team this fast?” Wally asked. “It’s only been three days, and Lea has half her team ironed out.”

“It’s not uncommon for people to be at two Pokémon for their first badge. Lea wanted a Lotad, and Emilie wanted a Wingull,” May explained. “Don’t feel pressured to catch something just because Lea’s trigger happy.”

“Oy, all three of my Pokémon are awesome, so buzz off. Joern here almost managed to take down Apollo, and that’s with a disadvantage. Apollo knows Aerial Ace and is amazing at finding stuff for us. Emilie... is Emilie.” I beamed as I thought about how lucky I was to find these three.

“Still not as cool as Samie,” May cut in.

“Samie can’t talk,” I dryly pointed out.

“I found a rare Pokémon not native to our area at the bottom of an ancient, abandoned ruin. I win,” May smugly declared.

I glared at her before staring at our newest addition.

“Nah, Wally won. He found the second best Ralts on the route in under an hour,” I said.

‘Sir Gawain is second to none.’ Oh god he’s talking about himself in the third person. Make it stop.

‘I tried to warn you,’ Emilie said. Apollo quickly gained a bit of altitude as Emilie’s focus wavered.

“Second be-” Wally ended up cutting himself off as he started coughing. Violently. We waited a couple of seconds, and eventually, Wally pulled out an inhaler.

“You alright?” I asked.

“I’m fine. It’s getting better the further out from the city we get.”

Wally shoved his inhaler back into his pocket. I wasn’t sure how much I believed him.

“Really, don’t worry about it.” Wally waved off my unvoiced worry.

“If you’re sure...” May trailed off.

“Positive. Now than, what the heck do you mean second best?” Wally shot a cocky glare my way. Oh, you sweet summer child.

“I mean that Emilie could wipe the floor with Gawain eight ways to Sunday, blindfolded, with both arms tied behind her back,” I bragged, easing back into the more fun banter.

‘Accurate, but it doesn’t count cause technically she lives on Route 110. I’m the champion of Route 102,’ Gawain said.

“I’m sorry, you teleported us how far when we first met?” I said, turning to stare at Emilie in shock.

Emilie blushed and looked away, and I had to fight back a laugh as Apollo rapidly gained altitude again into a low hanging tree branch.

‘Oi. You scared me, okay?’ Emilie played with the hem of her... skirt? Was that a skirt or part of her skin? ‘Please stop thinking such embarrassing questions,’ Emilie begged, her face bright red.

“You want to prove that claim?” Wally asked. Ooh he wanted a fight; this’ll be so much fun!

“I’d be happy-”

“Nope,” May denied. “Gawain is your only Pokémon right now, Wally. Win or lose, Gawain will get hurt. Then we’ll have to go back to Petalburg, and then it really will be too late for us to leave.”

“Aww... I wanted to have my first battle,” Wally whined.

“Tell you what, I’ll kick Gawain’s butt once we get to Rustboro,” I said.

“Sweet!” Wally responded, before suddenly frowning. “Wait...”

“Though speaking of Gawain being your only mon, do you have any idea who you’d want for a second?” I asked.

May glared at me.

“Don’t pressure the newbie!” May chastised.

“We’ve been training for three days, May. I’d hardly call us veterans either. I was just curious if any Pokémon caught Wally’s fancy,” I said.

“You make it sound like I’m looking for a girlfriend,” Wally joked. “I hadn’t really thought about it. I just thought I’d wing it and catch whatever caught my interest and wanted to come along.” Wally looked around the route. “Though I am a bit surprised nothing’s tried to attack us. We’ve been-”

“ZIGZAGOON!” I groaned. Three Zigzagoon launched themselves at us from the tree line to a shared war cry.

“You had to say something. Joern use...” I stopped mid-sentence as the ground began to shake. The earth cracked outward from Samie’s mouth as trees started to sway and crack. The offending Zigzagoon swayed briefly, unable to move, before getting swallowed up by the ground as it split beneath them.

“Pinch.”

“Good job Samie. Excellent work, I didn’t even have to say anything,” May gushed.

“PINCH!” Samie ran up to May and nuzzled her leg again.

“Like you would even know to order... that. What the hell was that, even?” I asked.

“GOON!” Another Zigzagoon rushed out of the bush and bull rushed May.

“Gawain-”

‘Already on it, my liege.’ I heard a bit of creaking and turned to see a branch being pulled back. Gawain released his hold on it, the branch swung, and-

“GOON.”

Homerun! The Zigzagoon was sent flying across the field, rolled a few times, and slammed into a tree. He slowly pulled himself to his feet. Suzaku was already on him before he could rise to full height.

‘You. Will. Not. Hurt. May. You. Stupid. Dog!’ Each word was punctuated with an attack.

I shot Emilie an amused glance.

‘Translating is slowly becoming an automated process for my brain,’ Emilie explained.

‘Riiiight,’ I thought.

“Ena.” An angry looking Poochyena launched from the bushes and bit Suzaku. Hard. A loud chirp echoed in my ears.

“Suzaku!” May cried out. “Ember, get that thing off you anyway you can.” Suzaku continued to chirp in pain and didn’t react. “Samie, make the ground shake!”

“Pinch!” Samie complied and slammed his mouth into the ground again. The earth once again came to heel and moved, though this time it wasn’t as severe. Poochyena braced his legs on the ground before letting go of Suzaku and backing away from us.

“Gawain, teleport in and get Suzaku away from that mutt,” Wally shouted.

“Joern, rapid fire Razor Leaf. Give Gawain some covering fire,” I ordered.

‘At once.’ Gawain said before disappearing.

Gawain teleported in right next to Suzaku as Joern pelted the area between them with leaves. Gawain teleported Suzaku to May.

“Lea-”

“Here,” I said, tossing her a potion that I had already pulled from my bag.

May sprayed down Suzaku’s bite wound. It didn’t look that deep, and a sigh of relief left my lips as Suzaku opened her eyes and quickly looked around the area.

‘Let me at him! The bastard got off a cheap shot!’ Suzaku rambled.

“I think Suzaku’s picking up your mouth, May,” I said. May grabbed Suzaku and held her close.

“Don’t put yourself out in the open like that again, alright?” May said.

Suzaku nodded hesitantly. I looked back to where the Poochyena was and groaned. He hightailed it.

“Uh, guys? What happened to all the Zigzagoon?” Wally said, pointing towards the now empty clearing.

“Eh?” I frowned. “Wow, I thought those things were down for the count.” I thought for a second. “Hey, May, is it just me, or did that feel more... coordinated than usual?”

“I think you might be a bit paranoid, Lea. The Zigzagoon had to get the drop on us at some point.” May shoved the spray bottle into her bag and held Suzaku close as she stood up.

“But that felt planned. The first few Zigzagoon were bait, then another one shows up and bulrushes you, and the second one of our Pokémon separated themselves from the rest of the group, it gets mauled.” I waved my hands toward the clearing. “And they all just vanish once we regroup. I feel like we got ambushed,” I said.

‘Uh, Lea?’ I heard Emilie’s voice ring in my head, her voice sounding a tinge strained.

“What’s up, Emilie?” I turned toward Emilie, who had at some point teleported down to the ground.

‘They didn’t all get away.’ Emilie dragged a single Zigzagoon from beyond the tree line. ‘He tried to tear your pack open while you were focusing on the others.’

‘No fair. Want stuff. Boss said get stuff.’ I heard.

“I’m guessing that’s what he’s thinking?” I asked Emilie.

‘Yup. This one wasn’t a part of the advanced party. I think it was trying to take stuff in the confusion.’

“So, we almost got mugged by Pokémon. Weird,” May said, looking away from Sergei.

“What do we do with this guy then?” Wally asked. “I don’t really want to catch him, but I don’t really want to let him go back to his gang either.”

“There’s a Ranger Station by the forest, we could just take him with us, and drop him off. We should probably let them know about this, too,” May reasoned.

“What are they going to do? Yell at the wild Pokémon for attacking humans on the road?” I asked.

“Better than nothing,” May shrugged.

‘Lea, he’s...’ Emilie got cut off as Zigzagoon broke free of her confusion, headbutted her, and scrambled into the forest. ‘Ow.’

I rushed over to look at her head before wincing.

“That’ll leave a bruise,” I said. I reached into my bag for another potion.

‘Save the spray, I’ll be fine. Only thing hurt is my pride.’ Emilie mumbled.

“Zu?” Everyone looked toward the new noise. A small blue Pokémon was bouncing on its tail out of the bushes. “Azurill.”

I looked down towards Emilie, a bit surprised and worried she didn’t automatically translate. I pulled my potion out and sprayed Emilie’s head, chuckling as she waved her hands in front of her.

“Are you feeling up to translating?” I asked Emilie.

‘She said hi and asked if we’re okay,’ Emilie grouched.

“We’re a little banged up, but we’ll live. Thanks though,” I responded.

“Zu...” The Azurill whined. “Zu ril Azurill.”

‘She’s worried about what that pack’s planning,’ Emilie said, rubbing her forehead.

‘Are you sure you’re okay?’ I frowned. Her just translating like this and not making a mental dialogue was a bit of a red flag.

‘I’m FINE!’ Her stressing the word fine didn’t really reassure me. ‘I’m just having trouble focusing like I usually do, okay. It’s making it hard to multitask,’ Emilie said.

“Well, if you’re sure...” I trailed off before focusing on the Azurill. “Do those guys cause a lot of trouble on the route?”

“Zu rill Zu rill. Azu azu rill.” She nodded her head yes as she said that.

‘They’re part of a larger pack that’s been causing trouble in the area. Something about a new pack leader?’

That didn’t sound good. That implied a repeat performance of what we just dealt with.

“Azurill Azu. Ril rill rill.”

‘She’s also saying the pack’s been making it difficult for other Pokémon to move freely on the route. She hasn’t been able to get back to the ocean,’ Emilie translated.

‘Is this her way of subtly tugging on our heart strings for us to escort her there?’ I asked Emilie. She nodded, and I sighed.

‘Nay, we would be happy to come to your aid, young one. These scoundrels shan't lay a paw on you, rest assured.’ Well, Gawain’s down. Azurill giggled at his pledge and bounced a few times on her tail.

“The ocean’s next to the forest, right?” I asked May.

“Yup. Let me guess, she wants to tag along?” May smiled down at the little gal. “I don’t have a problem with it.”

“Ditto,” Wally confirmed.

Though Emilie, you are getting a full dose of potion.” May said, Sergei floating just in view. “No tough girl routine.”

‘Fine.’ Emilie groaned.

“Alright, everyone. Be ready for another ambush though. Azurill said that was only part of the pack, so be ready. I dunno about you, but I am not losing to a bunch of Zigzagoon and Poochyena,” I said. Everyone in the clearing nodded.

We pushed on.

“Girls, I’m really starting to get sick of Zigzagoon,” Wally said. Vindication.

“See, May? My feelings toward the species are completely justified. I don’t have a problem,” I said, smiling at Wally.

“There’s a difference, Wally formed this completely rational disdain after beating back four different ambushes in under an hour. You started looking up the best uses for Zigzagoon fur on Sergei after the second day on the road.” May said in a deadpan tone. “These two things are not the same!” Her voice rose in pitch as she finished.

“Sound the same to me,” I said.

“You need help,” May argued.

“My therapist agrees with me.” I waved a hand towards Emilie.

‘Zigzagoon are the enemy,’ Emilie muttered.

“See!” I yelled.

May just rubbed her eyes with the palms of her hands.

“Whatever, we’ve almost reached the beach. There’s a ranger station by the entrance to the woods. We can tell them about this. For now, grit your teeth, square your shoulders, and march,” May said. “And for all that is good in the world, Samie, stop playing with the damn Poochyena and use Magnitude. I can deal with the shaking ground, just knock that thing out.”

“Pinch!” Samie raised its jaw and slammed it into the ground. That was one good thing that came of this, Samie figured out how to make the ground shake and do it consistently.

That was a good thing, right?

Emilie swiveled her hand from side to side, I was inclined to agree as I braced myself against a tree.

The Poochyena was a fair bit less fortunate, as the ground directly below it opened, trapping it in a small pit and knocking the poor bastard out.

‘You needn’t worry yourself, my lady. We’re almost to the ocean. You can leave this whole mess behind.’ Gawain had taken to staying close to Azurill and fending off any attacks that may have strayed too close.

‘Thanks Mr. Knight. I can’t wait to tell mommy about our adventure together!’ He also soaked up praise and compliments from the small child like a sponge at a pool party.

I groaned as three more Poochyena hopped out from behind the bushes. Fucking Dark types.

“Screw this. Joern, Apollo, Emilie, I know we haven’t practiced this yet, but Water Bullet. Send those mutts packing,” I ordered.

Apollo flew down low and lined the shot up with Joern, and Emilie raised her hands as the water guns flew toward the mutts. It wasn’t as devastating as our first accidental success, but the resulting shockwave sent all three flying.

The second we got to Rustboro I was hitting their training fields hard. I had so much I wanted to work on.

Once everything settled, the clearing was silent, and I counted about five Zigzagoon and four Poochyena down for the count.

“We good?” May asked worriedly.

Suzaku and Samie both looked exhausted, and May wasn’t looking much better. Her skirt was slightly torn at the hem from where she dived to avoid an earlier attack, and her right arm had gotten a bit scraped up.

“I think so.” I eased up a bit and Apollo landed on my shoulder and relaxed.

‘These raiding parties are a workout. This sailor needs a break,” Apollo said.

“No kidding. We’re almost home free though, so-”

A single, loud bark rang in the clearing, and my heart plummeted into my stomach as I looked up to see a large, black dog standing in the middle of the path. This thing was massive, easily three times the size of all the things we had fought so far, and it was growling as it approached.

The alpha had come out to play.

“Fuck, May-”

“On it, Samie, Magnitude, get it off balance. Suzaku, Ember, rapid fire and stay the hell away from it.” Both Pokémon groaned but obeyed.

“Apollo, take to the sky and take pot shots when you can, I do not want you getting close to that thing. Emilie, the damn things a Dark-Type, so direct psychic attacks won’t work, but you can still send stones. Joern, I need you to be on watch. If that thing gets close to the squishy humans, we’re probably screwed, so pelt its path with razor leaf, fire off water gun, do whatever you can to keep it off us.” I gritted my teeth as both Emilie and Apollo took off.

“Gawain, try and keep everyone out of harm's way if you can. Teleport someone out if they’re in trouble.” Wally ordered.

All at once the Mightyena moved at a speed that I could barely track, and it made a bee line for the weakest links.

The squishy humans.

Samie’s claw impacted the ground, and the Mightyena had to stop about two thirds of the way to us to hold its balance. Unfortunately, so did I, and my stumble threw off Joern’s aim a bit. Thankfully, Gawain took note, and course corrected half of the leaves with confusion. The mutt barely even flinched, but it was still holding its ground as Sammie slammed the ground again. This time, the tremors felt worse, and the Mightyenna knelt briefly as it got pelted on all sides. I know they weren’t doing much, but the sheer number of attacks had to be doing something to the hell hound.

Our luck finally crapped out when Samie’s third slam barely did anything. The Mightyena seized its chance and closed the rest of the distance between me and it.

‘Get down!’ Gawain teleported to me and I felt a familiar pull as the world shifted around me. I almost threw up as I had a front row seat to see Mightyena bite into the open air as it jumped through the area I had been. It cast a hateful gaze towards Gawain’s collapsed form.

Wally scrambled for his Poke Ball and recalled the downed knight as Joern fired off a single seed while the Mightyena was distracted. Brilliant little lily pad.

The seed bloomed immediately on contact, and the vines very quickly started to grow into Mightyena’s skin. They glowed a faint red, and Mightyena turned toward me at a much slower rate than it had before, the vines pulling at his legs. Its eyes pierced into mine in a look that promised death and pain.

I had the sudden desire to tell the dog to fuck off. Emilie quickly said through the link that this would be a bad idea.

Samie’s claw struck the ground for a fourth time, and this one felt worse than any of the previous crashes. The ground in front of me violently ruptured and I struggled to back away in time. The Mightyena was at the center of this massive explosion of earth and rock, and for the first time in the fight, I heard it whine out in pain as it lost footing and fell through the ground.

This was our chance.

“Joern, Apollo, Emilie, let’s do this one more time. Water bullet,” I ordered.

We didn’t get the chance to fire while it was trapped. Mightyena leapt from the crater and made a mad dash for Samie before either of my water types could get into position. It was slower than before, but neither Samie nor May had a chance to react before the mutt bit into Trapinch and threw it across the clearing.

May recalled him. The Mightyena winced as the Leech seed dug deeper into its skin, and my Pokémon capitalized. The combo attack screamed across the clearing with the weight of a freight train, slamming into Mightyena before exploding outwards, sending it careening towards a tree.

The impact cracked the fucking tree.

The damn thing got back up, how the fuck did it get back up.

It was panting hard, it made a point to not put any weight on one of its back legs, and there was a gash in its side, but the damn thing still got up.

Using its good legs, the beast jumped toward me.

“Aerial Ace, now!” I shouted, already pulling out Apollo’s ball. He’d be spent after this, not a doubt in my mind. My brave sailor disappeared, before slamming into Mightyena mid-jump. The dog opened its mouth and gave a raspy whine as it tried to suck in a breath, and both Pokémon free falled back toward the ground. I returned Apollo before he made contact, hoping to avoid a major injury, and sighed in relief as the beam made contact mid fall. The beast hadn’t gotten back up yet, but I couldn’t relax yet. This thing was... absurd.

A single ball got thrown out and sucked the Mightyena inside.

It shook once.

Twice.

Thrice.

Ding.

All the tension left my shoulders as Wally ran towards the ball, hastily picked it up, and locked it.

“Just to be safe.” Wally breathed out.

I looked out across the battlefield. Emile and Suzaku were leaning against each other to stay upright. Of the six Pokémon we all had, the only one that could still potentially fight if we needed it was probably Joern, and I was worried about how fast he was breathing. The most frightening thing we had out right now was probably the Azurill we were escorting, who was now cowering behind May in abject fear.

“You’re turning that... thing, into the Rangers the first chance we get.” May walked toward Wally.

“Without question. No way in hell am I keeping this monster,” Wally said, his voice shaky as he cautiously put the Poke Ball on his belt.

“Let’s book it. I’m not sure how well we deal with anything right now, and the Ranger Station is closer than Petalburg,” May said.

May and I both reached down to pick up our respective starters, Wally picked up Azurill, and all three of us ran from the clearing.

The Ranger station was a fucking shack. The smell of the ocean filled my nostrils as I took a second to stare at the tiny ass building. The tree line had been getting denser as we walked down the trail, and I noticed a gate further down that pushed into the tree line. Further in the distance I noticed a small beach house on the coast, complete with a dock and a small ferry.

“May are you sure this is a Ranger Station?” I asked.

“That’s what the map on Sergei says it is. I was expecting something a bit more than... this.” May sighed. “No wonder that pack had free reign of the route.”

“Let’s just go in,” I said.

Wally led the charge through the screen door. A single beat-up, unmanned, desk was one of the few fixtures of this tiny little reception area, along with a PC. Another was a stand with pamphlets describing poisons we’d find in the woods, and tips for traveling through. I noticed a transfer machine behind the desk, but what drew my eyes the most was the fucking sign.

Hand-written in half illegible chicken scratch, a note was scrawled below a bell, instructing us to ring it for assistance.

“I know we live in the back woods of Hoenn, but this is a bit absurd,” May commented.

“Aren’t we in front of one of the scarier parts of Hoenn?” I asked.

May nodded.

“There’s stronger Pokémon on other Routes, but the woods have a dense population of bug and grass types. It’s easy to get hurt and overwhelmed if you aren’t ready for it,” May said before ringing the bell. A single chime echoed through the empty building.

Nothing happened.

“Maybe everyone’s out on assignment?” Wally suggested.

We both sent him a look and he shrunk back as I started walking toward the back room.

“These stations are supposed to be constantly staffed. It’s how the league secures the Routes, so trainers have a place to go if something bad happens and they need help,” May explained.

“Yeah, no. This place is empty,” I called back, glaring at the empty room.

The back room had a few chairs and a table. A small white board had a few things written on it that looked suspiciously like a shopping list. It took me a second, but I also realized that the inside was warmer than the outside.

This place didn’t even have working AC.

“May, call your dad. He should probably know about something like this,” I said.

May already had Sergei pulled up.

The front door opened, and a scruffy older trainer walked in. His face was pulled into a scowl, though it was a bit hard to tell with the facial hair, and his uniform was tattered and worn.

“Don’t worry, I heard ya brats.” He pulled out a really dated looking transceiver. “Bells linked to this little number. Damn shack gets hotter than Mt. Chimney in the summer, so I make it a point to do frequent walks along the beach.” His eyes ran over us before he walked behind the desk and took a seat. “What does Norman’s brat want with me.”

“We ran into a bit of trouble on the road. A bunch of-”

“The Zigzagoon and Poochyena have formed a gang under a newly evolved Mightyena again, haven’t they?” The man sighed and rubbed his eyes as he leaned forward against the desk.

I almost wanted to reach out and throttle the man.

“You were aware.” May’s voice is very level. She sounded calm, but I could tell she was pissed.

“I am now, happens at least once a month. The locals fight for dominance almost constantly around here. The Linoone don’t care about it once they evolve, but every once in a while, a Poochyena takes the reins that’s extra violent. They start challenging the older mons, and eventually-”

“They evolve,” I said.

“Yup. I’ll head out later to break it up and catch the damn thing. Send it up north to have it released up near Fortree. I’m glad you kids managed to get away okay though,” The ranger said, leaning back in his chair.

Wally walked forward and sat a ball down on the desk.

“We already caught it,” he said.

The Ranger’s eyes bugged out a bit.

“The three of you, caught, a fully evolved, angry, Alpha Mightyena.” The man looked at the ball like he couldn’t believe it existed. He picked the ball up, put it under the scanner, picked it up again and just stared for a solid five seconds. “How?” the ranger asked.

“Teamwork, spite, and luck,” I quipped. “Also, I don’t suppose you have anything to help with the fact that our Pokémon are either too tired to move or passed out, do you?”

The still unnamed ranger started typing something into his transceiver, and I heard a somewhat familiar voice on the other end.

“Rustboro Pokémon Center, how may I be of assistance?”

“Hey Joy, this is Roger. I’m going to be sending you-” He looked toward us and waved his hand a bit, urging us to talk.

“Oh, uh... six,” May said.

“Okay, that makes a bit more sense, six Pokémon from a group of trainers that had a rather tough go of it. Took down a Mightyena as rookies if you can believe it.” He motioned for us to put out poke balls on the desk. “I’ll be sending ‘em over to ya shortly. It’s from the Petalburg Ranger Station.”

“I’ll clear the firewall.”

“Thanks.” he said before hanging up.

I had already returned Emilie and set all three balls down. Wally and May followed suit. Roger held up the Mightyena’s poke ball.

“Please don’t tell me you’re crazy enough to try and train this at your level.” Roger said.

“Nope, take it. Keep it. Release it somewhere. I don’t care, just keep it away from me.” Wally frantically waved his arms as he talked.

“Smart boy.” He looked toward the small ball of blue in Wally’s arms. “Is she fine?”

“She’s actually not ours. A wild Azurill wanted help getting to the beach, so we let her tag along,” Wally explained.

“Careful when handling wild Fae, they can’t lie, but they’re con artists through and through.” Roger looked the Azurill over. “She looks really young though. Probably just wanted to get back to her mama.”

“Azurill.”

“God they’re cute when they aren’t being tiny little murder machines.” Roger loaded up the transfer machine and sent our mons through. “They’ll be back in a bit. So, get comfy. I got some chairs in the back.”

Roger leaned back in the deck chair, put his hands behind his head, and put his feet up. I sighed before grabbing a chair and groaned as a single thought pervaded my mind.

This place being ass meant we’d have to camp tonight, wouldn’t it?

‘Although our path may have been filled with great personal peril, it was truly a joy to travel with you, young one.’ Gawain said to a somewhat teary eyed Azurill.

‘I’ll miss you guys.’ Azurill said through hiccups. ‘You’re all weird, but fun to be around.’ Rude.

The Azurill hopped down to the beach, and I smiled as a group of Marill came out to greet it.

“Have we sufficiently shown our knightly valor, Sir Gawain.” I smiled down as the young knight preened.

‘Indeed, Lady Lea. We nobly guided a young maiden through a perilous path gripped by villainous thugs. Truly a quest many a knight would be proud of.’ Gawain smiled back.

“Alright, enough joking around you two.” Wally looked up from the translated group chat and smiled. “Much as I'd like to celebrate our first successful quest, we need to start getting stuff set up for camp. I’ll set up tents.”

“Damn it, I wanted to set up tents. That leaves me with collecting firewood,” May complained.

“Wait, what am I doing?” I asked a bit confused.

“Dinner,” Both May and Wally chimed.

“Right... course that’s what I'm doing.” I think they’ve both grossly overestimated my ability to make things that aren’t baked goods. Meh, they’ll find out later.

‘We still have Oran Cookies, right?’ Emilie probed.

‘Yup, you’re lucky I was able to find some decent healthy Pokémon recipes on Sergei, or I’d be taking much larger strides to curb your addiction,’ I said.

‘Stop picking on me. I’m a young growing Ralts.’ Emilie said back with a pout.

‘Just make sure you don’t grow in the wrong direction. Speaking of, I think it’s time we worked on your physical fitness a bit. I feel like we lean on Teleport a little too much,’ I said. Emilie frowned at me.

‘But teleporting is cool, and running isn’t.’ Emilie whined.

“Earth to Lea?” May waved her hand in front of my face. Dammit I did it again.

“Sorry.”

“Yeah, whatever. I’m starting to get used to it. Just watch out for Wally while I'm grabbing stuff for a campfire,” May said, her voice slightly exasperated.

I nodded and watched her walk towards the tree line. She made a point to steer clear of wandering too far in, and I relaxed a bit.

“Huh, what’s up Azurill?” I turned to look toward Wally and smiled as the little blue blob ran back towards Wally and almost tackled him to the ground.

‘Wanna stay, wanna play, and mom said it was okay.’ she said jovially as she bounced on her tail. She nudged a poke ball on Wally’s belt, and I couldn’t help but laugh as it opened, sucked up Azurill, immediately dinged, and fell to the ground. Wally just stared for a good solid five seconds.

“Congrats on your second capture,” I joked. “I’m starting to notice a theme, you’ve yet to win a Pokémon over by battle.”

“Oi, this isn’t funny!” Wally protested and my laughter dried up as a very serious Marill approached us. It bowed.

‘Thank you for showing Gwen such kindness. The next time I see her, I expect her to be a strong, kind, Azumarill,’ she said.

“And you’re... good with sending your daughter out with strangers you just met?” Wally asked, looking up from his phone.

I was moderately jealous of Wally right now. It did not go anywhere near this well when I did this. I half felt like telling him to just roll with it and not ask stupid questions. The Marill looked away.

‘Gwen isn’t mine. I watch over Azurill that wash ashore. They’re too weak to resist the current when they’re young, so Azurill get separated from their families quite often.’ Marill nodded resolutely. ‘I find them nice trainers to travel with. You all took Gwen in and helped her back. You are the right sort of trainer.’ she said.

“Thanks for the vote of confidence. We’ll take good care of her,” I said.

Marill nodded one last time before walking back towards the beach. I turned to Wally.

“I guess that’s another trend. You have yet to pick your own Pokémon's name,” I said.

“Meh, Gwen’s a good name. Though if the next Pokémon I catch comes pre-equipped with the name Lancelot, I’m going to start taking issue with the universe screwing with me,” Wally complained.

I snorted.

“I don't know, anything packing a name like that is probably going to be bad ass. Complain later. Celebrate now. You've doubled your roster. Be happy.” I slapped him on the back a couple times, and he jumped. “And after that, make up my tent.”