Her True Form

Yvette towered over the assembly, her talons digging deep into her perch. Below she could see into the city and despite the chaos of the streets below, the people here seemed to not to struggle in the confusing maze of pathways. Already they were filled with streamers, people wearing the most flashy gold and red garments they could, phoenix shaped kites flying through the air and even toys made in her image. Or, at least, an image of a phoenix.

The sounds of celebration would have been deafening if she were down in the mass of it, but here she could at least hear it without getting a headache. Gervas and Nautia were seated below her, besides Prince Curcel, who looked incredibly pleased with himself whenever she looked over at him. She couldn’t blame him, after all, he likely believed that everything was going according to plan. He had a phoenix, he had her friends and, as far as he knew, Yvette was gone.

Thin, narrow tables had been brought up to the roof and the area was now filled with men and women in similar robes to the prince, albeit theirs were not quite as dramatic or space consuming. She couldn’t help but wonder how he managed to make it up the steps without falling on his face.

There were still dozens of guards, though they appeared to be more ceremonial than anything else, they certainly weren’t here for her. If they were here for anyone it was likely Gervas and Nautia. The pair were, after all, how the prince believed he had control over her.

The sounds of the party goers suddenly went silent and she looked around quizzically. She had only a few moments to ponder in confusion before the prince rose to his feet and cleared his throat. “Loyal subjects of the Reborn Empire, long have we waited for this day. Since the first emperor arrived on this very shore and was blessed by the phoenix Eterna, never has a phoenix deemed to judge a ruler of our lands worthy once more, until today. When I left our home, many moons ago, most believed my journey was a foolhardy one. That I would never attain the blessing of the phoenix and would instead perish, leaving the empire in the hands of my sister. But nay, I have returned! Not just with the blessing of the phoenix, but guarded by the phoenix itself!” he yelled.

Yvette wanted to not just roll her eyes but roll her whole body. As if she would ever guard him.

“Now, I’m sure many of you have questions, especially considering our other guests,” the prince said before he turned to Gervas and Nautia. “These two are subjects of the great phoenix, its very attendants. Those deemed worthy of serving the great phoenix itself! Stand, introduce yourselves.”

Yvette tensed slightly when she saw the two stand and she wondered if something was about to go wrong. She could almost feel the tension in the air. Gervas, however, spoke up first. “I am Hawken, first attendant of the phoenix.”

It seemed he was still using his fake name even now. She wondered if Nautia knew the truth.

“I am Nautia, second attendant of the phoenix,” Nautia said.

Yvette went still when she suddenly felt an air of tension in the air. The prince was staring at the two, obviously waiting for something. What the pair said next made her feel almost sick.

“Long live the Reborn Empire, long live Prince Curcel, eternally live the phoenix!” they said before bowing their heads and taking their seats. The gathered feasters repeated the words.

Yvette barely resisted the urge to jump down on the table itself and ruin the entire party, suppressing the desire to make them pay for making the two say that. She took solace in the fact that those words would one day be nothing more than a joke, like him.

------

Yvette couldn’t believe it. After everything that had gone so incredibly wrong, something was finally going right.

When the party goers had begun to file out and the servants had started to clear away the mess, the prince and many of the guards had left as well. A small tent had been setup, with a pair of cots and thin bedding. A single torch had been set, resting besides the tent but doing little to brighten the area.

Eventually the three of them had been left alone. Nautia was sitting on the edge of the roof, staring out over it, longingly at the sea. “Perhaps if we tore the tent up we could fashion a rope and climb down. We’re not that far up,” she said.

“Wouldn’t work,” Gervas said with a shake of his head. “We don’t have anything to cut it with, anyway. The prince likely has half a dozen guards stationed below as well. If they saw anything going over the side they’d be on us in seconds.”

“We’re so close. For the first time there are no chains on us. If we’re going to attempt to escape, now is the time. If I can get to the water then--”

“There’s a city between us and the sea,” Gervas said, cutting her off. “We’d never make it.”

“You saw the way they were all revering your little mage friend. If we told them the truth, that it’s not a phoenix at all, that--”

“Assuming they even believed us,” Gervas said, cutting her off. “The best case scenario would be that the prince is dishonored. What do you think happens to us, then? Need I remind you that you are a mage as well? What do you think would happen to you if they no longer thought you had the support of the phoenix?”

“What if this is our only chance to escape?” Nautia asked. “It’s right there.”

“As are an army of soldiers and who knows how many mages like the prince. If we want any chance of escape we can’t be reckless about this. Besides, Yvette wouldn’t be able to--”

“Enough about Yvette!” Nautia yelled, her rage boiling over. “That’s all you talk about! Yvette is gone, ‘Hawken’, if that even is your real name! This entire thing is your fault to begin with, I never should have trusted the pair of you to help with this. I should have known that there was something wrong about you. ‘Hawken and Petra’, a fine pair of pretenders. Yvette, Petra, phoenix, it doesn’t matter what you call her. She’s not even human anymore. Look at her, just look. There’s no humanity there, I doubt there’s even intelligence there. She’s a destructive beast of the elements who, for some reason, all of these fools believe is some messenger of the gods! I’m honestly not sure who’s more insane. You for believing she can be anything but a phoenix or them for believing she actually is one!”

Gervas didn’t move for a long time, his eyes just focused on the sea in the distance.

After what felt like a few minutes of awkward silence, the mermaid sighed. “I’m sorry. That wasn’t fair, Hawken. This isn’t your fault, I know that. I was the one who begged you two to help us. If I had just waited for the Mage’s Association, none of this would have happened. You’d still have your Yvette and we wouldn’t be here.”

“You did what you thought you had to,” Gervas said. “Just like Yvette did. She’ll come back to us, I know she will.”

Yvette glanced around once more. Nobody was up here but them, nobody could see onto the roof, either. While she was quite noticeable on her perch, that was easily fixed. She spread out her wings and leaped from it, gliding off and towards the center of the roof, landing awkwardly on her talons.

“Oh, great, now the great big bird is upset about something,” Nautia said with a shake of her head. “Or maybe she’s hoping someone will make her a nest. Well, get to it, Hawken.”

Yvette ignored the mermaid and looked around, waiting for some sign of activity from below. But the door to the roof didn’t open. She took a slow, deep breath, and focused.

Once more she began to shift and the ground seemed to reach up towards her, coming quickly towards her while she rushed to meet it.

“What in the--” Nautia said, but she went silent midway through.

“Yvette?” Gervas asked, his voice filled with hope.

Yvette tried not to focus on how happy the voice made her, instead struggling to remember everything she could about her body. Well, at least the body she had wanted to have for so long. It felt like it took forever, though only a few seconds passed before she was herself again.

At which point she promptly knelt down with her knees to her chest, her face burning. “Don’t look!” she said quickly.

Gervas didn’t seem to listen or care. Because a moment later she felt him wrap his arms around her, hugging her so tight she thought her bones might break. She let out a soft gasp. “Careful,” Yvette said softly. “You’re hurting me!”

He let her go a moment later, but when she looked up at him he kept staring at her. At least his eyes were on her face. “How? I thought you could only maintain a form for a short time? You’ve even kept it up when you’re sleeping. When did you learn how to do this?”

“I’m not,” Yvette said softly, trying to focus on one question at a time and how to answer them as a human, not as a phoenix. Still, there was a moment of relief. The body was definitely one she had transformed into. But it also felt far more ‘right’ than it had last time she had turned into it. That nagging feeling of ‘something was wrong’ was fading as well. That was encouraging.

“What?” Gervas asked.

“I’m not, I mean, right now I am. But I wasn’t before,” Yvette said, receiving an even more confused look from him.

“Have you been like this the whole time?” Nautia asked. “Even when--”

“Please, I don’t know how long I have, so I need to explain quick, just give me a moment, also, stop looking at me!” Yvette said, glaring at the pair.

“Oh, err, right, sorry,” Gervas said, finally letting her go before turning around. “Why are you naked?”

“If you two would stop interrupting me and just give me a second I’d explain it so just calm down,” Yvette said, the annoyance radiating out of her voice. “I’m not actually me right now. Or, I am. But I’m not who I was. That wasn’t me transformed, this is me transformed. Does that make any sense?”

“None,” Gervas said.

Yvette wanted to let out a squawk of frustration and the fact she thought of it as a squawk only made it worse. “Okay, it’s like this. I don’t know if the phoenix did it itself, or if releasing the seal did it. But back in the cavern? I died. When I died, I became this. Or that. Or, well, a phoenix. I think is the best way to explain it. And no I haven’t been aware all this time. I don’t even know how long I’ve been really myself. I don’t even know if I really am myself right now. It’s like, I almost want to say that there are two of me and they’re both trying to control my body. They don’t hate each other so it’s not really a fight? But they’re also sometimes not really acting together and now I’m me but not me. Everything I had when I died went with me, it’s all inside me.”

“Inside you?” Gervas asked. “Wait, you mean--”

“My clothes, my reagents, all of it,” Yvette said. “It’s a part of me now. I think it’s part of why I was even able to come back like this. I think if I could get back to the spell and study it a bit more, I could find out which part of it is helping to ground me. But, either way, I’m not fully who I was anymore.”

“So it’s all a part of you? Everything?” Gervas asked. “That explains a few things.”

“What? What things?” Yvette asked.

“I overheard a few of the sailors mentioning that they were unable to send messages from the flagship. If that ring is now a part of you and still working, then no wonder.”

Yvette nodded, though that threw another thought into her head. What if it was the ring that made it possible for her to keep that side of herself? She didn’t know why it would have, but she also wouldn’t have ever imagined herself being turned into a phoenix either, but here she was. This was a level and degree of magic she needed true experts for. “I am still me, kind of. The phoenix is here as well, but it’s me as a phoenix, if that makes sense,” Yvette said. “And I’m not planning to go anytime soon. I just…” She, very slowly, reached out a hand to grip Gervas’. “Thanks for not giving up on me. I heard everything you said. It really did help me come back.”

Gervas nodded, his hand squeezing hers. “I knew you’d come back. You’re too hard headed to let yourself change from something like this.”

“Err, Yvette,” Nautia said, her voice sounding slightly alarmed. “About the things I said before--”

“About how I was just an animal?” Yvette asked. “Or how I’d never come back? Or calling me an it even when Gervas said I was a girl?” She couldn’t help but enjoy the fact the mermaid was squirming just a little bit at the words, but she wouldn’t let her suffer for long. Maybe just a few moments longer. Finally, she spoke up again. “It’s fine. I know you’re upset. I can’t say I blame you, everything went poorly. But I won’t be casting you aside either. All three of us are going to get out of this, somehow. So long as they don’t know what I truly am, I know we’ll find a way to escape.”

Nautia let out a sigh of relief. “Well, that at least is some good news. I suppose I do owe both of you an apology, then. It seemed Hawken’s belief in you was well placed.”

Yvette gave Gervas’ hand another squeeze. “As much as I hate to say it, he can, sometimes, be right. Annoying. But right. So, got any plans?”

Gervas shook his head. “Not yet. We’re heading to the capital, though. The trip there will likely be our best opportunity. Especially if you’re back with us, Yvette. I can’t imagine anything better at creating a distraction than, well, you.”

Yvette nodded before leaning forward and resting her forehead against his shoulder. It felt good, right. Better. It felt as if, once more, she was grounding herself. So long as she could keep herself from falling apart, they’d get out of this.

“Hey, Hawken? I think we should tell Nautia who we are.”

“Really?” Gervas asked.

“She’s here, isn’t she? Besides, we did what she needed and she kind of depends on us. I died for her mission. I don’t think she’d betray us after that, would you Nautia?” Yvette asked.

Nautia gave a soft sigh and shook her head. “No. You gave your life to help me, the least I can do is keep whatever secret it is you have to my grave.”

Yvette nodded and then glanced down at her hand. To her surprise, the mark of the fallen mage was still there. That was a little disconcerting and also grounds for another small theory. “Hawken, err, Gervas, I’ll leave that to you. But there’s one more thing we’ll need.”

“What is it?” Gervas asked and she could feel him tense up.

“Well, two things,” Yvette said. “If I start to fade away again, don’t give up on me. Okay? No matter what? It may take a while, but I’ll come back if you keep at it.”

“Of course, Yvette. I’m your guardian, aren’t I? How could I ever abandon you?”

Yvette nodded, still enjoying the warmth coming from him. “And uhhh, the last one is kind of… I need some clothes. When we escape. If I get some new ones and transform in them I should be able to kind of make it with the form? Are you laughing?”

She could feel Gervas shaking and he quickly shook his head. “No, of course not. Why would I laugh at that?” His voice, however, was filled with barely contained laughter.

Yvette almost snapped at him before she heard Nautia start to laugh as well. She sighed and finally rolled her eyes. It felt good to be able to do that again. “Well, I’m just so happy you two at least are taking such delight in this.”

Still, despite it, she couldn’t help but start to laugh as well. She might be in a strange, new form now. But it wasn’t going to be her true form forever. So long as she had Gervas, she knew they could get through this. Somehow. Sometimes it was taking joy in the little, silly things that made them much easier to handle, anyway.