Her True Form

Everything hurt.

Yvette groaned, looking around and trying to clear her head.

The scent of sea water hit her like a wave, bringing her to her senses. She tried to remember what happened. Unfortunately, those thoughts were taken away before they could form, nausea washing over her.

She reached for her bracer and, unfortunately, found it was gone. She tried to find her bag but it wasn’t next to her bed like before. She then realized she was laying on top of a small cot. In the dark, she couldn’t tell where she was, but she knew it wasn’t the small home she’d grown so accustomed to. Had the zmaj finally decided to remove her, permanently? Were they going to drop her body out at sea? The terror and nausea mixed together, making her shake horrible. Her heart began to beat faster when suddenly she heard footsteps. A light suddenly entered the small room and she could finally see, though it didn’t bring much comfort.

Gervas was laying on a cot nearby, unconscious. The pair of them were laying inside a small cell, with metal bars trapping them inside. The world seemed to be rocking back and forth. They were definitely on a boat, but the wood didn’t look nearly old or damaged enough to be a zmaj vessel.

Another wave of nausea hit her and she sat up, half stumbling and half falling towards the bars. She had to get out of here, but she didn’t even know where here WAS. She knelt by the bars, reaching out and trying to shake them, but they didn’t move. “W-who? Why?” she asked, before giving a low burp, covering her mouth. She couldn’t take her eyes off the ground, the spinning world just making her stomach feel worse.

“Ahhh! You’ve finally awakened! Good! Lunia said it should be wearing off about now,” a voice said moments before two pairs of boots came to a rest in front of her. She heard a light snapping of fingers. “I think the two of us--”

Yvette couldn’t hold it in any longer. Her stomach voided itself, emptying the contents across the nearer pair of boots, the bars and a bit of herself. There was a loud shriek and the nearer pair stumbled back.

“What in the-- I’ll gut her!” an angry voice yelled.

“Captain, she’s sea sick,” a much calmer, less angry voice said. “I very much doubt it was intentional. We need her, remember?”

“She… ugh. Hey. Mage! Are you done?” the angry voice asked again.

Yvette whimpered, resting her forehead against the bars and dry heaving. She’d have given anything to have this feeling gone. “P-please… just… k-kill me. Can’t… ugh,” she muttered, that terrible feeling washing over her again and making her retch.

“Ugh. Quinlyn, can you do something about that?”

“Of course, captain.”

Yvette heard the woman tell the seasickness to cease. Then, as if it was never there, she instantly felt better. It took a few more moments for her to realize why her mind was so confused by those words. They hadn’t been in any tongue she recognized. Or rather, they had been in EVERY tongue she recognized. The words were words she could never make herself, had never heard herself. But it was as if they were just words. No, the basis of all words. While her mind interpreted them as telling the seasickness to cease, when she tried going over them in her mind they were so much more complex and strange than anything she had ever heard before. She had understood them not because she knew what they meant. She understood them because those words could never be anything BUT that meaning. As if they had shaped the world around them. Slowly, she raised her head. “H-how…?”

“That’s more like it. Feeling better, mage?” the woman in front asked. She was tall, nearly as tall as Gervas, wearing a strange brownish green overcoat that went down to her ankles and was only just long enough it could close, though at the moment it hung open. Underneath it the woman wore a pair of breeches and simple tunic. Around her waist a belt hung, a hilt of a blade just barely viewable. The woman’s hair was short and wild, almost completely white, with the same golden eyes that Yvette had. “Welcome to my ship, little mage. Yvette, is it?”

“Y-yes,” she said softly, a hand moving up to her stomach. The seasickness was gone entirely. When she’d done the spell herself, it had still lingered on the edges of her mind. But now? It was as if it had never been there at all. “Where are we? Gervas!” she yelled, her head whipping around to her guardian who was laying on the cot still. “W-what did you do to--”

“He’ll be fine,” the second voice said. Yvette turned back and finally looked at the second woman. The woman was massive, nearly a head over her companion. Her arms were crossed over her chest. Her clothing was simple as well, just a pair of breeches and a simple tunic, an empty belt around her waist. Even so, the woman was so muscular that Yvette doubted that the woman would be any more imposing even with a weapon. “He started to wake up earlier so I merely put him back to sleep.”

“Where are we?”

“Ah, right. Of course,” the smaller woman said, kneeling down. Yvette noticed that the mess she’d made was now gone, though she didn’t know how. She couldn’t remember them casting a spell to cleanse it away. “Allow me to introduce myself. I am Captain Jade of the good ship Siren’s Call.”

Yvette nodded. “O-okay?”

Jade blinked a few times and then a look of annoyance came over her features. “You know… usually people look more afraid when I tell them that.”

“I’m sorry, I don’t go out to sea often. Or ever,” Yvette said apologetically. “I get seasick.”

“Of course not. You know, though...” Jade reached inside her overcoat and pulled out a small book. It took Yvette a moment to realize that the book was HER book. Her journal. She lunged forward, trying to take it, but the captain pulled it away and the bars stopped her from getting anywhere near close enough. “Uh uh uh! Bad mage. Now, as I was saying. You’d think a mage who was looking so desperately for sirens would recognize the captain OF the Sirens,” she said with an amused grin.

Yvette blinked a few times, confusion on her features. “Sirens? But you’re a human. Why would--” She froze in place, her eyes going wide. She remembered the things that Gervas had told her before they had set out to sea. She looked down at her finger and, to her surprise, her ring was still there.

The reason they had been able to find the ring was that it had become very important to the traders traveling through the waters, due to attacks from the Sirens. From pirates. She mentally cursed herself for not asking more about them.

“And there we go,” Jade said with a chuckle. “It seems you have heard of us, then?”

“Y-you’re pirates,” Yvette whispered, trying to keep the fear out of her voice and failing drastically. She glanced back at Gervas. She didn’t know how they’d gotten here, but she knew it had to be her fault. Somehow. “P-please. I don’t know why you brought us here. But leave Gervas alone, he’s innocent of any of this. I… I’ll do whatever you want, I just--”

“Calm down,” Jade said with a shake of her head. “You’re our guest here, you see? As long as you are a good little girl and behave yourself, then there won’t be any trouble. And you do want to be a good little girl, don’t you?” she asked, a small grin forming on her lips. “Because, well… you see. Good little girls? They help and don’t cause a ruckus. Bad little girls? They get punished. Bad things may happen to their guardians too.”

Yvette nodded, giving another glance towards Gervas. She swore she’d find a way to get them out of this. “What do you want me to do?”

“Wonderful. You’re in luck, I want you to do what you’ve already done,” Jade said, before holding up the book again.

Yvette blinked a few times. “You want me to steal from the vault?” she asked, fresh horror flowing through her.

“Dear heavens, no. I said help us, not kill yourself,” Jade said with a light laugh. “Lunia told me all about your little fight with the guardian of Cragtooth Isle. It just so happens we’ve been looking for someone with your particular expertise and experience to deal with another leviathan.”

Yvette stared at the woman, her mouth falling open. Finally she shook her head. “W-what? That wasn’t a leviathan! I told her, it was a giant turtle that--” She stopped, her eyes widening. “Lunia. She’s okay? What did you--” A moment later a fresh thought occurred. She felt anger blossom inside her, burning away her worry for the other girl. “She’s with you. She’s a pirate. She tricked us, didn’t she?”

“Quick on the uptake, aren’t you?” Jade asked, her voice dripping with sarcasm. “Truly a boon to your kind. Of course. She’s our little hydromancer. Talented little thing, isn’t she? Tongue like silver, worth every coin spent kidnapping her.”

“W-wait, what? Kidnapping?” Yvette asked, the worry blossoming anew. “Is she okay? Is she--”

“Captain, perhaps I should talk with the mage,” the second woman said.

Jade sighed with exasperation. “Very well. Yvette? This is my first mate, Quinlyn. I suppose she’ll be taking over interrogation. She’ll be gentle, we need you alive after all.” Jade gave a light laugh at her joke. Quinlyn just gave the captain a calm but firm stare for a few moments until the captain averted her eyes and turned away, sliding the book back into her overcoat. “I’ll make sure we’re on course.” She quickly turned and started to walk away.

“You do that, captain,” Quinlyn said, her eyes watching the captain walk away until she disappeared behind a doorway.

Yvette finally noticed the small lantern dangling on the nearby wall, illuminating the small, wooden room. Aside from the cots she and Gervas rested on and the bars, there didn’t appear to be anything else in the room. “Despite what the captain said, you will find that Lunia is completely fine and happy to be here. She has had many chances to part ways and has deemed to remain despite them,” Quinlyn said, staring down at Yvette now. “While her initial allegiances were not to us, she has been more than willing to remain with us for the time being.”

Slowly the smaller mage got to her feet. It was then that she noticed that she was clean as well. Despite the splatter from her earlier mess, all of it as now gone. Even off of her robe. “So is she responsible for this?” Yvette asked, reaching up and wrapping her fingers around the bars. “How?”

“You really don’t remember?” Quinlyn asked, her eyes narrowing slightly. “Perhaps we should have sent Alinur with her, she may have used to much of that concoction. The pair of you walked onto our vessel yourselves.”

“I think I would remember--” She paused then and froze. She remembered now. Lunia had come and eaten with them in the morning. Little flashes of memories spilled forth. Of her walking with Lunia. Talking, though the words said seemed so faded and jumbled in her head she couldn’t straighten them. Everything seemed so weird and disjointed, as if she was watching the world while it swam around her. “I can kind of remember. What did she do to us?”

“Just made you a bit more open to suggestion,” Quinlyn said quickly. “Having you leave the zmaj on your own was far more subtle than trying to haul you off. Its been three days since you left the island. Do you remember anything?”

Yvette closed her eyes and tried to put the bits and pieces together. She remembered walking a little. She remembered eating. There were women. A lot of other women, talking to her. Lunia was talking to someone. There was yelling. Panic. She couldn’t remember seeing Gervas. She finally shook her head. “I… can’t. It’s all weird. Lunia was upset?”

“The effects of the drug lasted longer than we expected. It seems you’re quite susceptible to mind magic, though your companion seems far stronger at shrugging it off. It makes it quite difficult to measure between to two of you. How do you feel now?”

“I wasn’t seasick.”

“Before? No, I don’t imagine you would have been. You were so out of it that I doubt you would have noticed a piercing wound through your abdomen. We had to forcefully remove it from your system.”

Yvette nodded. At least now she knew why her body ached all over. Though she couldn’t help feeling disturbed at the idea that she had spent the last few days going around doing who knew what. She then paled. “W-wait. What did I do? I-I didn’t do anything too foolish, did I? Oh gosh I must have looked like such an idiot when I was...” She trailed off and then sighed. “Then again, pirates. I doubt you’re surprised. What are you going to make me do?” she asked, slowly sinking down to the ground and trying to stop the frustration and self anger from overwhelming her. She was such an idiot. To think she had actually allowed herself to believe for a moment that there had been someone else like her. Let herself be manipulated by Lunia. She had been so desperate to find someone else like her, that she had let herself be tricked again. Dragged Gervas into yet another one of her messes.

“You’ve managed to remove one leviathan. We need you to deal with another,” the woman said, her voice calm and quiet. “A leviathan has made its home near an island we desperately need to approach. We’d been puzzling out how to get around the creature when you managed to drive off the one at--”

“I didn’t drive it off!” Yvette said, feeling her body beginning to shake with frustration. “I didn’t defeat it! It wasn’t even a leviathan! It was a fake, a spell on a big turtle to make it bigger! If it was a real leviathan, then I’d have died!” she practically yelled, struggling to her frustration and anger under control.

“Be that as it may, you did manage to get rid of it. The captain has expended a lot of time getting her hands on you. You did it once, you’ll need to do it again. Or, at least, distract it.”

Yvette glared up at Quinlyn. “You want me to fight a leviathan. Are you utterly insane?” she asked, unable to keep the bitterness out of her voice. “I’m a journeyman. A master would be lucky to be able to face one of those and live. A whole group of masters would hesitate to face one.”

“Be that as it may, you’re our first lead on the matter and the captain won’t be taking no for an answer.”

“What if I say no? What if I refuse?” Yvette asked. “It’s suic--”

“Then you and your guardian will die,” Quinlyn said calmly.

Yvette froze. “W-what?”

“You will both die. The captain will slit your throats herself.”

“But… but...” She felt herself quivering. Her hand reached down for her dagger but, unsurprisingly, it was gone. She stared up at the larger woman. “I-I can’t. I’m not that strong. I can’t face something like this.”

“Then you will simply die, one way or another.”

The small mage slowly lifted her hands, staring at them. They were going to die. Because of her. How did they make it all the way here, just to die over this? Facing a leviathan. They wanted her to drive it off? It was impossible. Even when she had faced the dragon turtle, or believed she would, there was always the hope she could talk with it, get it to listen to her. But to just try and fight one?

“However, there is no need for both of you to die,” Quinlyn said.

Yvette jumped, looking up. “W-what?” she asked.

“Your guardian. You care for him, do you not? Lunia said that you were quite protective of him. It was why she made sure to grab both of you.”

Her cheeks turned scarlet and she glanced away. “H-he’s my friend. That’s all.” Even if she did want him to be more, if ever there was someone she didn’t want to know that, it was them.

“Then I will give you my word. If you try this, if you attempt, even if you die in the attempt, he will be released. Alive and well.”

“Wait, you will?” she asked, feeling hope blossoming inside her.

“Indeed. He isn’t the one we want. You are.”

“I-I see,” she said, her heart pounding faster. She couldn’t defeat a leviathan. That much was impossible. But if just trying would guarantee that one of them survived, then she knew she could at least do that. She could protect him, like he always protected her. Even if it was her fault that they’d been dragged into this she could fix one of her mistakes. “I’ll do it. But you know there’s no way I can defeat this creature, don’t you? It’s impossible. Leviathans are forces of nature, it would take a miracle to even hurt it.”

“You have performed a miracle once. However, I think you may misunderstand what it is we require of you,” Quinlyn said, kneeling down across from her. “All you need do is delay it, stop it from approaching us. We won’t be on the island for long. Just long enough to get what we need.”

“Basically, act as bait?” she asked, barely containing the anger and spite in her voice. “What if I fail?”

“Then you’ll die. It’s possible your guardian will die, as he will be with us. We may die as well. If you should succeed and survive, however, you will not be harmed. In fact, you will be rewarded for your aid.”

Yvette gave a light snort.

“The captain is quite generous to those who do as she demands,” Quinlyn said, her voice calm and firm. “And judging by what Lunia has told us, your price is easy enough. You desire the tears of a siren, do you not?”

Her heart beat faster and she stared up at the woman intently, her breath stopping. “You… have those?”

“No. But we can take you to the sirens. We know where they reside. While we will not approach them ourselves, we can take you close enough to them. From there, it will be up to you. Though, I would advise you to be careful. Their spell would have quite an effect on you. Your comrade, at least, might be able to resist it for a little.”

Yvette gave a small nod, small drops of hope beginning to blossom inside her. “All I have to do is delay or lure off this creature then. Right?” she asked once more. “That’s everything? Nothing more? Stop it from stopping you? I don’t have to kill it?”

“That is all we require of you,” Quinlyn said, reaching out and placing a hand on her head. “If you are willing to work with us, there is no need for you or your guardian to come to much harm.”

“Gervas. He’s still asleep. When will he wake up?”

“He won’t. Until you perform this task, he’ll sleep. I wouldn’t try to wake him, the spell he is under is quite powerful. It had to be in order to keep him like this.”

“But… you’ll release it, if I succeed?” she asked gently.

“Of course. That is part of the agreement, is it not? Do what we demand, and the two of you can leave the ship and continue on your journey. You have a spell you still need to gather for, correct?”

Yvette cringed. “I… my book. I need it. That’s--”

“Your book, along with everything else, will be returned to you. If you would allow me to give you some advice, however?”

“Yes?”

“Your bag. If you are going to keep everything you have inside it, more importantly, if you’re going to keep your journal inside it, only protected by a rather simple illusion spell, you should enchant it so only you can open it. As it is, it was incredibly easy to go through your things.”

Yvette felt her face get red at those words. She understood that she was their prisoner, but to talk so dismissively about going through her things made her squirm with embarrassment. Even worse, the way she talked about her illusion spell. “It… it wasn’t a simple illusion spell. I-I’ll have you know I--”

“It was incredibly easy to locate once we started looking for anything that could be hidden among your things. So few of your things bear magic. Once we found it, dispelling it was easy.”

Yvette felt her cheeks go even hotter. “I-I wasn’t, I mean. I went for a subtle illusion, since I didn’t expect anyone to go through my things or--”

“Even more so when it’s the only book you have two of in your bag. It helps narrow down what is off.”

Yvette clenched her hands tightly. “D-do you have to talk about my things like… that? They’re still my things! You don’t need to--” The words caught in her mouth when she realized the woman was smiling, her eyes filled with amusement. Her eyes narrowed. “You know, it’s not funny.”

“I disagree.”

“Am I just a joke to you?” she snapped.

“Until you prove to be anything more, yes.”

Yvette froze, unable to come up with a response to that. She then glanced back to Gervas and sighed. She had a feeling those two would get along just fine, if the woman wasn’t a pirate. “And if I die, your word that you’ll let him go? Safe? Unharmed? Back on dry land? How do I know I can trust you?”

Quinlyn froze for a moment, her face going neutral once more. After what felt like an eternity, she spoke up again. “Should you try, and either die or succeed, I will personally ensure that he will be returned to land. Unharmed and safe, or die trying. Of this I--” The last word sent chills down Yvette’s back. Like the words uttered before, she knew instantly what it meant. Vow. Bind. Promise. But it wasn’t just the word.

It was a word that meant a vow. That meant a promise. It could mean nothing more, nor anything less. Yvette could feel that magic coursing through those words. Tickling her skin, rippling through the air as if it was a physical force. Words that anyone could understand, but very few would ever be able to speak.

“Is that acceptable?” the woman asked.

“Yes,” Yvette whispered, staring up at the woman. “That’s magic. I know that’s magic. Those words. That’s true naming magic, isn’t it? I’ve never met someone who can do it. I… I didn’t know it was still practiced.”

Quinlyn stared at her for a long moment, before giving a soft chuckle. “It is quite commonly practiced in some countries, little mage. Though, judging by your bracer, I imagine you fall under the Mage’s Association?”

She gave a small nod. “I… yes. But doesn’t everyone? I thought--”

“The association would like to believe that. But there is plenty of magic types that exists in this world beyond what the association would teach you. True naming magic is thriving in some locations.” She then turned around and started to walk towards the door. “Some food will be brought down to you soon. I’d try to rest while you can. You have a difficult challenge ahead of you.”

Yvette nodded, watching the woman walk away. The lantern was left, at least, allowing her to see faintly. She glanced towards Gervas and slowly walked towards him, kneeling at his side. She reached out and shook his arm. “I… I don’t know if you can hear me. Can you?” she asked softly. “Can you give me a sign, something, to let me know you’re there?”

He didn’t move, his body so still she could almost imagine he was dead. The thought made a knot of despair form in her stomach. She leaned forward, resting her head on his chest. “I’m an idiot...” she whispered. “I drag you into problem after problem. Again and again I put us at risk, for my own selfish wants. I should have listened to you when you didn’t trust Lunia. Maybe you’re right. Maybe… maybe people just can’t be trusted. Maybe mages are bad,” she said with a soft sigh.

“Maybe I’m bad. Maybe I’m just terrible. I just got so excited. I thought I’d meet others like me, I thought I’d not have to feel so alone...” She reached down and gently took his hand, holding it up against her cheek. She gave a soft, sad sigh. “I’m not alone, though. I have you. At least… I will, when you wake up. If you’ll still talk to me. If I survive this, somehow. I have you. I’m not alone. But sometimes it just gets so scary. You know? I wonder sometimes if I am the only one in the world. I finally met someone who was like me, and they barely talked to me. I did nothing but cause more problems for us and almost get us both killed. Caused more pain and misery. Hurt people,” she said gently, her body shaking and tears welling up in her eyes.

“I love you, Gervas. I think. I mean, I really think I do. I’ve never met anyone like you. You accept me. You care about me. You protect me. You listen to me. You call me Yvette. Despite everything I do, despite all of the trouble I cause you, you don’t give up on me. It doesn’t make sense sometimes,” she whispered, the tears flowing down her face to dampen his shirt.

“You were just so… nasty to me when we first met. I hated you. I wanted nothing to do with you, ever. I tried to run away and you came after me and I hated you for it. I wished you were dead. I would have happily accepted these pirates for it. But now? Now you’re there. You have no idea just how much easier you make all this. I’ve been so scared for so long that I would lose everything and be alone and now I’m not. Because if I succeed, if I manage to do this? At least I still have you. At least if everyone else leaves me, I know you won’t.”

Her hands slowly reached up to clutch his shirt, squeezing it tightly. “I want to stay by your side forever. After all of this is done, I want to come with you. I want to be a mercenary or a guardian or whatever it is that you want to do. I don’t want a silly tower or to become some grand master. I want to be there with… with the person who was there and supported me even though it was so hard.” Slowly she lifted her head and stared into his eyes. She leaned forward, just a little closer, to stare at his sleeping face.

She felt the overwhelming urge to kiss him. She gave a light chuckle, thinking about the stories of spells like this she’d heard as a child. Of a kiss awakening the prince. She then gave a soft, delicate sigh and shook her head, pulling back. Even if she wanted to, so desperately, she couldn’t now. It wouldn’t be fair to do it when he had no say in the matter. Instead, she laid her head against his chest and gave a soft sigh. Listening to his heart beat felt incredible. She could smell him, just a little, mixing with the salt air. That slightly spicy smell.

“Why did I have to fall in love with you?” she asked gently. “Is it because you’re here for me? Am I that simple? Would I have fallen in love with anyone who showed me the barest level of respect?” she asked, slowly stroking a finger down his stomach. “Is that it? Will these feelings go away eventually? If we manage to finish this spell, will I stop loving you? Will all of those thoughts fade if I’m done? If I’m accepted? What else is there to love about you?”

She gave a soft sigh and shook her head. “No, that’s not it, is it? You’re more than just nice to me. You’ve protected me. You want to help people. I love that about you. You seem to genuinely care. You’ve put yourself in danger for my sake again and again. Even though you didn’t have to. You’ve argued with people, with friends. Come on this stupid, dangerous trip with me. Helped me learn to take care of myself. You’re clever. You’re strong. You understand the world in a way I just don’t,” she whispered, her hands tugging at his shirt so hard she was a little scared it might tear, but she couldn’t stop. She wished the tears at least would.

She couldn’t hold back a soft sob. “I-I might die. I probably will. But… but you’ll get back to land. Somehow. I don’t… I don’t know if I’ll ever see you again. I don’t know if I’ll ever hear your voice again. But if I do, I’ll tell you. I swear. I’ll tell you I love you. I’ll tell you how you make me feel. I’ll tell you that I couldn’t do this without you.”

She began to shake, unable to keep more soft sobs from tearing out of her throat. “And… and if you can’t love me back, that’s fine. I-I understand. Just… just please don’t leave me. I don’t… I don’t want to be alone again. I don’t want to face the world alone. I-I didn’t think I’d ever have someone like you by my side. I never thought it’d be possible. But now that I have… I can’t. I can’t go back to how things were. I can’t face being alone again. I can’t do things alone anymore. So please. Please. Please don’t leave me. Even if you can’t love me. I… I don’t… I can’t take losing you as a friend. As my support. Please,” she begged, giving another soft sob.

She glanced up once more, staring at his face and hoping for some small sign that he heard her. That he understood her. That, somewhere, behind this magical sleep, he was there. Watching over her.

But there was nothing. She gave a soft, saddened sigh and closed her eyes before laying it on his chest. He’d wake up. Somehow. Even if it took her life, she wouldn’t let him pay for her actions again.