Her True Form

Yvette couldn’t sleep, no matter how hard she tried. While the cot she was laying on was far from comfortable, it was nowhere near as hard as sleeping on the forest floor had been. Yet, somehow, it still felt worse.

The room she’d been given was small, just barely wide enough she could fully spread out her arms and touch each wall. The cot took up a good portion of the room as well. It was obviously not designed for long stays. She would have had more space trying to sleep inside her bag. Though, that felt a bit too dangerous even for her to try. While she had heard of mages who used bags like hers to create portable ‘rooms’ for them to relax inside, she’d also heard of those bags accidentally closing while they slept and eventually suffocating the mage within. It was too frightening a concept for her to even consider.

Still, she felt restless. She found herself longing for the sound of Gervas’ snoring or Redwood and Chestnut occasionally shifting about in the night. The chirps of birds, the sounds of insects. It was so quiet.

Even back home in the tower, there were usually the sounds of crickets at night or some ambient sound that seemed to spread. Here it was silent, the only sound her own breathing and heartbeat.

A light knocking made her eyes widen. It wasn’t on her door, though.

“Gervas?” Ursula’s voice could just barely be heard, even in the stillness.

Yvette slowly crawled out of her bed, walking as quietly as she could to the door.

A second knock, louder than the last, could be heard a moment later. “Gervas.” A moment later, she heard the creaking sound of a door opening.

“I was sleeping. What do you want?” Gervas asked.

“Some answers,” Ursula said.

“Of course,” he said, his voice dripping with annoyance. “Come on in. Let’s talk.”

“Put a tunic on or something, will you?”

She heard a snort from her guardian, before the door shut.

Yvette gulped and slowly started to open her door, cringing when she heard a light creak. She quickly waved her hand over it, casting a silence spell before pulling it open and stepping out, leaving the door ajar. She quickly moved to Gervas’ door, leaning against it.

“--A drink?” Gervas asked.

“Would you even drink it if I had?” Ursula asked back.

“Probably not, no. It’s late and I’ve got a long day ahead of me. What do you want?”

“What’s with that mage? Yvette?”

“What about her?”

“That. That right there. You keep calling him a her. What’s going on here? The Gervas I know would never put up with such delusions from a mage. He even knows he’s a he. Yet you’re playing along with this little game of his?”

Yvette’s breath stopped and she listened intently, leaning closer to the door.

“It’s not a game. At least, I don’t think it’s a game. It’s complicated.”

“You don’t actually think that he’s a girl, do you?”

“Maybe? I don’t know.”

“You don’t know? I can tell you he is. I can smell it on him, the--”

“Who cares what he-- what she smells like?” Gervas said, his voice turning angry. “She almost died because of that.”

“Because he’s a boy? If someone almost killed him for being a boy then--”

“Because I tried to force her to be a boy,” her guardian snapped, the anger in his voice turning to fury. “Because I refused to let her be a girl, she almost died.”

“Gervas, sit down, I’m not trying to--”

“I know it’s strange. Half the time I feel it’s all just a game she’s playing. But I can’t find the reason.”

“Reason?”

“Why she plays it. She’s almost gotten herself killed again and again over this. Any sane person would have given up by now. I know she wants to, I’ve seen the way she just...”

“She just what?” Ursula asked.

“I don’t know. I really don’t know what she is. Half the time I’m sure it’s just a game that she’s playing, that she’s a boy. That if I just started being hard enough on her again, she’d be a boy and let all this go.” She could hear his footsteps, pacing back and forth through the small room. She couldn’t help but suspect his was bigger than hers. “But then the other half, she’s just… Yvette. She’s Yvette. She’s a mage. She’s naive, obnoxious, greedy, has no self preservation instincts. Trolls. A pack of damn trolls. She wanted to fight them because of a dryad. Do you know anyone who’s just that… stupid?”

“A few people. But he’s--”

“She’s also, at times, brilliant. She’s hard working. More than willing to throw herself into danger if it means she’s doing what she thinks is the right thing. Yet, at the end of the day? All she seems to want to be is Yvette. It seems to be her sole driving function. The only thing she keeps going towards. There are so many times that I just forget she’s a boy. That I’ll forget all of the trouble she’s causing. Then she’ll say something, react to something, the light will hit her in just the wrong way and it all comes crashing back.”

“Because he’s a--”

“I don’t think she is. That’s the issue,” Gervas said with another annoyed sigh. “If she’s a boy, she’s unlike any boy I’ve ever met. If it wasn’t for the fact that I know what she is? I wouldn’t have ever doubted. But--”

“Why are you tolerating it, then? You know what he is. Even if he wants to be, he can’t. Worse, he’s a mage. I’ve never known you to allow a mage to keep their little fantasies. Especially ones that can get them hurt.”

“This one won’t get her hurt.”

“There’s a lot of things out there that will. What if he ends up tricking the wrong thing? There’s a lot of creatures who won’t know what he is until it’s too late. Things that kidnap pretty little maidens. If they realize he’s a guy, they’ll tear him apart. Making him give this up is what’s safest. It’s for his own good.”

Yvette clenched her fists, feeling the frustration grow. For her own good. She’d heard THAT excuse a thousand times in her life. Why was it for her own good that she be miserable?

“Maybe it is. But there’s no way she’ll survive as a boy. As a girl, I think she’ll be fine. Maybe.”

“Why do you care so much? He’s just another mage, isn’t he? You’re supposed to be good at this kind of thing. After what your mother did, I figured you’d--”

“My mother has nothing to do with this,” Gervas voice came out filled with venom.

“Are you sure? This sounds like just the kind of trick she would play for fun.”

“Yvette is nothing like her.”

“How do you know? Maybe he’s been tampering with your mind all this--”

“She’s a journeyman. You know as well as I do that her magic would be nowhere near strong enough.”

There was another frustrated sigh from the woman. “Very well. If you’re certain that… encouraging this kind of behavior is for the best, then that’s that. It’s only a matter of time before this all goes bad.”

“It won’t.”

“You know that these kinds of things have consequences. You can’t pretend to be something you’re not. How many mages have you dealt with over the years who you had to teach that to?”

Gervas’ footsteps stopped and he let out another sigh. “I saw that Madlyn is here. How long since Kael left?”

“Not long. She’s only here temporarily. Kael should return in a week or so. Maybe a bit longer. The sirens are active again.”

“From the islands?”

“No. A group of pirates calling themselves the sirens. The guard has been trying to track them down, but every time they get close, the sirens just manage to slip away. Kael’s hopeful if he can go with the guard, he can catch them.”

“What do you think?”

“I think they’re smart. The moment they realize there’s a master on board, they’ll give that ship a wide berth. These people know the currents better than most, if the rumors are true. Worse, they’re willing to go right up to the void itself. They’re only attacking our ships, too, so the seafolk haven’t been willing to do anything to help. I think they’re looking for something, I couldn’t say what.”

“Who’s idea was it to bring Madlyn in?”

“Not sure. I don’t keep up on all the politics of the Mage’s Association. She’s not happy to be here, though, I can tell you that much. I don’t know what you told them when you delivered her.”

“Just the truth. A lot of rather harsh truths,” Gervas said with a light chuckle. “So she’s not up in Frenzurn. I’m not surprised she’s furious if she’s only doing temporary work. Half the trip she wouldn’t shut up about getting her own tower. She any use?”

“She’s been able to keep up on Kael’s tasks. Past that, no. I know a few people have been asking her for help, but she refuses to do more than the bare minimum she is required to.”

“Some people never change. I tried with her. But I can’t undo in a month what she’s spent a lifetime being told. Is she any good at enchanting?”

“Not that I’ve seen, though I haven’t asked. What do you need?”

“A few things. A staff for Yvette, for one. She had an accident when casting her spell, hurt her hand pretty bad. We also need something to stop us from being watched by magic.”

“Wait, what?”

“It’s a long story. I’ve got some people who have been trying to track me down, nasty people.”

“Your mother again?”

“Something like that,” Gervas said. Yvette could easily imagine the look of frustration appearing on his face and couldn’t suppress a small smile.

“You’re in luck, then. I have just the thing you’re looking for. Not cheap, but they’ll stop anyone from spying on you. They’re surrounding the whole town right now and every ship coming to port in the last month or so has been using them.”

“What? Why?”

“Pirates. We’re not sure how they’re able to maneuver around our patrols so easily, we can’t be sure they’re not scrying on ships to find out when and where to strike. The few times we’ve come close to catching them, they just disappear. Personally, I think they’ve got someone in town feeding them information. But near every merchant who’s too cheap to hire an escort that comes to port wants one now. Are you good for it?”

“Of course. If it’ll stop the wrong people from knowing where I am, that’s exactly what I need.”

There was a long pause from the room, before Ursula spoke up again. “Does your mother know about Yvette?”

“That I have another mage I’m escorting? Yes.”

“I mean that he’s a--”

“It’s none of her concern.”

“Like it or not, you’re still her son. If she finds out what Yvette is, she’ll either hate him or try to--”

“I’ll deal with that when I have to. For now, just get me what I need. The staff?”

“That’ll be a bit harder. I can get you something to stop scrying, but even a bracer would be hard to come by until Kael is back. The only one I know who has one now is Madlyn. We don’t get much demand for those.”

Gervas gave a long suffering sigh. “Is there anything you can get me? Without her magic, she’s fairly useless.”

“What mage isn’t?”

He gave a light chuckle and Yvette couldn’t keep a frown off her face. “I’m teaching her not to be, but even then...”

“I’ll see what I can do. You can probably get her the things she’ll need in their raw form, though. Not as useful as a real focus, but should be enough to make her slightly less useless until you can get somewhere that’ll have actual staffs. What kind of mage is she?”

“Transfiguration, mostly. A bit of healing in there, though. I’ll look around tomorrow.”

“Of course.” There was a light clinking of coin from the room, then a low whistle. “Yes, this should cover the ring and my finders fee. I’ll contact some of my suppliers at sun rise.”

“One more thing.”

“What?”

“We need to find a dragon turtle.”

Ursula once again paused for a long moment before speaking up. “Why?” she asked, her voice filled with suspicion.

“We need a scale. Some mage thing, research. They’re not exactly easy to get, though.”

Light laughter came from the room. “A scale? Yeah, I’ll say. If you want to guarantee you find one, that’s easy enough. But I’d suggest finding a professional out there who knows how to hunt those things.”

“When have you ever heard of anyone hunting these things?” Gervas asked with a laugh. “I know you’re the best bet I have of finding one, Ursula. If anyone would know, you would.”

“I’m not from that island, Gervas. I was born a zmaj. I’ve never even been there.”

“Your grandmother wasn’t, though. She was from Cragtooth Isle. Is it still there?”

Ursula let out another soft sigh. “Yeah, yeah it is. Though I’d suggest not going there. Very few people come out of there now. It’s not like the stories my mother told me, hasn’t been since long before I was born. It’s not a great protector anymore, it’s a gate. Getting in is easy enough, but leaving? It’s suicide. If you go there, it’s a one way trip.”

“We’ll deal with that when it happens. Do you know of any other dragon turtles? If you do, I’d love to hear about it.”

“Of course not. I barely know about that one,” the woman snapped and a thump could be heard in the room. “Tell your mage no. Tell him that he needs to find some other stupid thing to research.”

“If it was that easy, I would. Do you know anyone who can get us there?”

“Gervas, what’s really going on here?”

“What?”

“Who is he? Broken staff, something to stop yourself from being scryed on. Going after dragon turtles. Calling him a girl. You don’t do this. You’re protecting him from something, aren’t you? Is he even a mage?”

“He, she’s a mage. Stop calling her a boy, he’s not, she’s not a boy!” Gervas snapped, his voice getting frustrated once more.

“It’s obvious from where I am that he is! Is this some kind of spell? Did he do something to you? Is someone after him?”

There was another loud thump from the room, making Yvette jump. “Ursula, this is guardian business. I can’t tell you. I’m sorry. Just… I need you to trust me. Can you get me what I need?”

There was silence for a long moment before she sighed. “Of course. I’m the best, after all. I’ll get you everything you need. I still think you’re a fool and going to get yourself killed.”

“It wouldn’t be the first time.”

“It might be the last, though. At least tell me this. Who is Yvette, really? He’s… not connected to the--” Yvette tried to hear, but the words were whispered and she was unable to make them out at all.

She heard a soft laugh from Gervas. “Of course not. If she was, I would have nothing to do with her. Just trust me on this. She’s not important. Get me what you can, then we’ll be out of your way.”

“Very well. Then I take it there’s a little extra in here for--”

“Your silence? Of course. Guardian business, private.”

“I don’t know what you’re up to, Gervas. But you’d best be careful. Whoever this Yvette is, they sound like trouble.”

“Oh, she is, trust me. But you know I’d never do anything less than I needed. Thank you.”

Yvette heard a light creaking sound of the cot, then heavy footsteps coming towards the door. Her heart leaped and she quickly scrambled away, racing into her room and slamming the door shut. Fortunately, the silence spell kept any sound from coming. She quickly dismissed it and listened.

After a few moments she heard Gervas’ door open and close, before heavy footsteps walked away.

Yvette sighed and slowly moved through the dark room until she found the lamp hanging over the bed. With a quick gesture, the lamp was lit, bathing the room in light. She then turned towards her bag.

She couldn’t sleep anyway, especially not now. She might as well get some studying in.