Heavenly Soul [BL]

These past few days, Jing Shui spent all his time in the room cultivating.

Though Wu Xiao also meditated along with him every now and then, he mostly just sat and gazed intently at the peaceful form of his Ah-Shui who looked so serene when he had his eyes closed.

During this time, the emperor dispatched many people to summon Jing Shui for an audience, but Wu Xiao sent them all away, using force if necessary. He did not give a crap about being rude or disrespectful towards Jing Shui’s father. All he cared about was his beloved Ah-Shui’s comfort and happiness. Anyway, it wasn’t like the imperial palace could kick them out after trying so hard to convince them to come, now could they?

And so the days passed by peacefully.

This night, when Jing Shui opened his eyes again after a session of cultivation, he expected to find Wu Xiao’s face staring up close at him like always. But Wu Xiao didn’t seem to be lurking anywhere nearby this time.

Looking around, Jing Shui finally found Wu Xiao standing a bit further away by the tall window.

The moonlight flowing inside thinned the darkness in the room, shading the figure standing by the window in silvery hues. But it also starkly illuminated the empty space around him, his shadowed back looking especially lonely.

Jing Shui frowned, not liking this thought. He’d just opened his mouth to call out to him when Wu Xiao turned, his eyes landing on Jing Shui. Wu Xiao’s gaze looked firm and steady as if he had come to a decision on something.

And for some unfathomable reason, Jing Shui felt his heart tighten as he looked into the depths of those dark eyes.

Wu Xiao’s lips curled in a faint smile before they parted to speak his name, “Ah-Shui.”

Swallowing to clear the sudden dryness in his throat, Jing Shui replied, “Yes?”

“I like you,” Wu Xiao stated, his eyes boring into his beloved’s.

Jing Shui frowned. “I know. I also like you. You are my closest friend.”

Wu Xiao chuckled, but didn’t refute him. Instead, he asked, “Ah-Shui, do you like spending time with me?”

Not knowing what had gotten into Wu Xiao all of a sudden, Jing Shui simply nodded.

“Do you like it when I touch you?” Wu Xiao inquired again.

Jing Shui felt a blush spreading on his face, but he still seriously pondered the question before replying honestly, “I-I don’t know. It feels weird and too hot, but I…I don’t really hate it.”

Wu Xiao looked faintly surprised, then he smiled wider.

After a moment of hesitation, Wu Xiao still chose to say it, his voice soft and his gaze warm, “Ah-Shui, if I asked you to become my lover, then would you agree?”

Jing Shui squinted in confusion before the words sank in, then his eyes widened in shock.

“Wu Xiao! W-What are you even―! I d-don’t…” Turning his face away from that intent gaze that glowed with reflected moonlight, Jing Shui trailed off, not knowing what to say.

What was even happening? Did Wu Xiao just…ask him to be his lover? It couldn’t be, right?!

“It’s okay if you don’t want to. That’s fine as well,” Wu Xiao reassured, his voice unchanging.

But this only made Jing Shui more flustered. “I didn’t… I’m not refusing, but I-I…I just don’t know!”

He did not want to outright reject Wu Xiao and disappoint him. And more importantly, though Jing Shui felt nervous and anxious, he did not in any way feel averse to the idea of being lovers. When he heard Wu Xiao suggest such a thing, Jing Shui even felt as if some empty place in his heart was finally being filled…

Nevertheless, he still couldn’t just decide something like this on the spur of the moment. This was just too abrupt! He hadn’t even finished wrapping his mind around this strange and new possibility of…being in a relationship, and with Wu Xiao of all people!

Because Wu Xiao was someone so beautiful, so magnificent, he was someone whose existence was so lofty that Jing Shui didn’t even dare imagine touching him that easily.

With a start, Jing Shui suddenly realized that he had been absorbed in his thoughts for too long. Afraid that he might have made Wu Xiao upset by not agreeing immediately, Jing Shui carefully looked at Wu Xiao to observe his expression.

But Wu Xiao did not look sad, he was smiling instead.

With his face turned toward the night sky outside, Wu Xiao’s eyes glinted brightly as he said in a gentle tone, “I have been waiting for us to reach this point for so long, I can wait awhile more. Years or centuries, I do not care. Take as long as you need.”

Then he turned around again, fixing that intense gaze on Jing Shui as he spoke resolutely, “But Ah-Shui, if you choose to give yourself to me, then do not do it half-heartedly. I want your mind, body, soul, your everything. In return, I will offer you my everything as well, my entire being will belong to you. I know I ask much of you, and that to reciprocate the depth of what I feel might be impossible for you, but I still want it. Ah-Shui, can you give me that? Can you give me all of you?”

Jing Shui was speechless, unable to process the intensity of emotions that was expressed in those words. He could only stare stunned.

Wu Xiao sighed, a desolate exhalation, as he looked away again and continued in a much more normal tone, “If my affections for you are too heavy for you to bear, if you think they might crush you under their weight, then you need not accept them. Just throw them away. I will still stay with you, I will still cherish and protect you in all the ways you allow me to.”

This…was too much.

Jing Shui closed his eyes and sighed. Just which part of him elicited such devotion from someone as wonderful as Wu Xiao? Wu Xiao…he deserved the best, but Jing Shui wasn’t sure that he would be enough.

“Wu Xiao…,” he sighed, “You are like the mist atop the mountain, so distant. How can I dare to touch something that floats so high above…”

Wu Xiao looked surprised at first, then showed a wry expression, his brows arching down ruefully. “Ah, but Ah-Shui, it gets terribly cold on top of the mountain on my own. Can’t I ask you to keep me company?”

Jing Shui looked at him, startled.

This was the first time Wu Xiao had ever requested something of him so seriously, and he looked so forlorn while doing so too. Jing Shui had never seen him like this.

It was always Wu Xiao who was cheerful and easygoing. He was always so caring and considerate of Jing Shui, often seeming to know what he needed before even Jing Shui himself realized it. Wu Xiao was his safe haven, always able to set his mind at ease no matter what plagued him.

It had been so from as long back as when he’d stayed at the Silver Moon Sect.

Thinking of that time, Jing Shui remembered sitting on Wu Xiao’s lap, gazing at the starry sky from atop a tree branch as he slowly let his fears of being dragged back float away into the tranquility of the night.

He remembered how he would try to sneak into Wu Xiao’s bed so that he’d feel safe, because he believed strongly that even if his family came to haul him back to the palace, there was no way they’d be able to make it past Wu Xiao.

In the beginning, Jing Shui had seen his master and Wu Xiao as his second family, the two adults more like an aunt and uncle rather than some distant and dignified sect masters. But as he grew older and started to realize that even these two impressive grown-ups were still human, he started seeing his master as more of an elder sister.

And as for Wu Xiao, Jing Shui himself didn’t know how he saw him.

It was clearly not something as simple as a brother or just a friend as he had said before, but their relationship was also not distant. No matter how he tried to quantify or define his feelings, Jing Shui simply couldn’t tell what Wu Xiao was to him. Jing Shui just knew that Wu Xiao was someone very precious to him.

But now, after hearing Wu Xiao saying he wanted them to be lovers, Jing Shui suddenly had an epiphany. He realized that maybe the reason he didn’t mind that thought all that much was because he had long since seen Wu Xiao as a potential romantic partner. Maybe that was what these indefinable feelings of his were. If so, then perhaps this really could work.

Maybe…he should really give the thought of being lovers some consideration.

Though he didn’t want their current closeness to change, he also didn’t feel entirely satisfied by the way things were. He wanted more, but just how much more of Wu Xiao he wanted was uncertain.

But Jing Shui knew that he would only find the answer to that if he accepted Wu Xiao’s proposal and really started a relationship with him.

Standing silently by the window, Wu Xiao didn’t know what his Ah-Shui was thinking about. He only saw Jing Shui’s uncertain and thoughtful expression suddenly clearing as if he’d understood something. Then a look of determination claimed Jing Shui’s face as he slowly got up from the bed where he had been sitting to cultivate these past few days.

Making his way to Wu Xiao, Jing Shui spoke, “Alright, I’ll keep you company.”

“Ah?” Wu Xiao let out a sound of confusion.

Jing Shui stood calmly in front of Wu Xiao and met his gaze. With clear and solemn eyes, Jing Shui pledged earnestly, “I’ll stay with you so that you won’t be lonely anymore.”

Stupefied, Wu Xiao could only stare at Jing Shui. Those words…did they mean what he thought they meant? Was he misunderstanding something here? Because he felt that this was just too good to be true!

As if reading his doubts, Jing Shui bashfully looked away before he stated more straightforwardly, “I’m saying that I’ll be your lover!”

Hearing this simple declaration, Wu Xiao felt sudden warmth surging up inside him. His Ah-Shui was really agreeing? He was really agreeing to be his lover?!

A river of pink bubbles gushed in Wu Xiao’s heart, washing away all signs of melancholy. With a shout of happiness, Wu Xiao shed his serious mien and sprung onto Jing Shui, hugging him tightly as he cried joyfully, “Ah-Shui! You really agreed! You can’t take those words back now!”

Seeing Wu Xiao reverting back to his usual ridiculous self, Jing Shui felt somewhat helpless. But rather than pushing him away like usual, Jing Shui smiled and hugged him back, burying himself into Wu Xiao’s embrace.

He still felt that Wu Xiao was too good for him, but Jing Shui also understood that Wu Xiao thought the same way about him, that Jing Shui was someone far away that he didn’t dare touch for fear of losing him.

Even so, Jing Shui didn’t want them to maintain that respectful distance towards each other anymore. He wanted them to be closer, and for that, he would try to put aside his own flustered embarrassment and do what he had always wanted to do. From now on, Jing Shui was determined to reciprocate all the little touches and words of affection that Wu Xiao so generously showered him with.

Feeling Jing Shui’s arms wrapping around him in return, Wu Xiao felt like his heart would burst. How long had he dreamed of this, and now it had finally become reality.

In a half-teasing voice, Wu Xiao asked, “Ah-Shui, does this mean that I can bed you right now?”

Jing Shui stiffened.

Knowing that he was still resistant towards that idea, Wu Xiao let it go easily. “It’s alright, I was just jok―”

“Okay,” Jing Shui spoke, interrupting him.

Blinking, Wu Xiao pushed Jing Shui to arm’s length as he carefully observed his expression before asking, “You mean, you want to do it? Really? Right now?”

Jing Shui turned his face away and reluctantly nodded.

Honestly, he did not feel ready, or rather, he did not have the time to prepare himself mentally enough to feel ready. On top of that, Jing Shui felt uncomfortable at the thought of their first time happening in such a place. After all, this was the imperial palace grounds that he had such bad memories of. But Wu Xiao had already waited for him for so long. How could Jing Shui let him wait any longer?

Wu Xiao’s eyes narrowed. His Ah-Shui clearly did not want to, but he still agreed. This would not do at all! Their first time should be an enthusiastic affair for both of them, not something grudgingly agreed to like this.

Seeing that Wu Xiao was only staring at him and not doing anything more, Jing Shui turned to him and asked, “What’s wrong? Aren’t you going to take me to bed?”

A sharp smile unexpectedly spread on Wu Xiao’s face. Looking at his intent and predatory expression, Jing Shui gulped in nervousness.

Wu Xiao suddenly began pulling Jing Shui as he started walking towards the bed, then unceremoniously pushed him down onto it. Before Jing Shui could recover, Wu Xiao had already settled himself on top of his beloved, his fingers wrapping around Jing Shui’s wrists and pressing them down. Silver hair slid down from over Wu Xiao’s shoulders to drape around Jing Shui’s face, his vision filled with Wu Xiao’s unreadable expression framed by those silky tresses.

“…Wu Xiao?” Jing Shui called out uncertainly.

In an even tone that did not give anything away, Wu Xiao spoke, “Ah-Shui, let me ask you one more time, do you really want to do this?”

“O-Of course. You can just…do what you want with me,” Jing Shui said as he averted his eyes.

Wu Xiao’s eyes narrowed at the subtle reluctance reflected in his beloved’s tone. With hints of anger apparent in his voice, he called, “Jing Shui!”

Since Wu Xiao only ever called him Ah-Shui, Jing Shui felt that the matter was particularly serious when being called by his full name.

“What is it?” Jing Shui asked apprehensively.

In a firm tone, Wu Xiao spoke, “Are you just going along with it? If you don’t want to, you better tell me.”

With his gaze still focused to the side, Jing Shui shifted in unease. “It’s not like I’m averse to the thought of…doing it with you. You don’t have to keep holding back.”

“Ah-Shui!”

Jing Shui flinched into the mattress and turned his face away.

Exhaling softly, Wu Xiao leaned down and pressed his cheek against Jing Shui’s as if in comfort. In a gentler tone, he said, “I don’t mind waiting if you don’t feel prepared. But don’t you dare say you’re okay with this when you clearly aren’t. Ah-Shui, don’t lie to me.”

Jing Shui felt surprised at how easily Wu Xiao had read him, then he apologized in a small voice, “…I-I’m sorry.”

Wu Xiao sighed and got up. “Tell me what the matter is, okay? I’ll try to fix it.”

Also sitting up, Jing Shui deliberated for a while before explaining hesitantly, “It’s just that I…want some more time to get used to the idea of being together first. Also, I don’t want our first time to be here. I have no good memories left of this place.”

Wu Xiao blinked. So that was the reason? He felt like he should have expected it.

In a more relaxed tone, Wu Xiao drawled, “Oh? I think it could be quite therapeutic though. We can replace your bad memories with more deliciously spicy ones.”

Jing Shui’s face immediately flushed brightly. “Wu Xiao!”

Laughing, Wu Xiao hugged his Ah-Shui close again. This is how his beloved should be, always lively and energetic.

“Ah-Shui,” Wu Xiao began in a serious tone. “In the future, don’t lie to me about something like this again. There are certain things that you should never compromise on in a relationship and this is one of them. I won’t feel sad or blame you if you say no. On the other hand, if you don’t say what you mean and I end up hurting you, then I’ll hate myself more than you can imagine. I’d hate myself enough that I’d want to die. Don’t do that to me, alright? Just say what you truly feel, don’t make me hurt you like this.”

Jing Shui’s head drooped down guiltily. He hadn’t thought it would be that big of a deal, but Wu Xiao was right. It had been an irresponsible thing to do.

“I’m sorry. I won’t do it again,” Jing Shui reflected dispiritedly.

Wu Xiao bent down and kissed his Ah-Shui’s cheek as he soothed, “Don’t look like that. I’m not angry at you. I only care too much.”

Blushing, Jing Shui tried to turn away and hide his face, but Wu Xiao hugged him closer, not letting him evade his gaze as he placed another kiss on his forehead. “Ah-Shui, I love you.”

Hearing this soft confession said with such obvious affection, Jing Shui didn’t know how to respond. Shouldn’t he say those words back? Shouldn’t he let Wu Xiao know that his feelings were reciprocated?

“I-I also, like you very much,” Jig Shui barely got out before burying his face into Wu Xiao’s chest in embarrassment.

Jing Shui felt a slight vibration from the chest pressed under his cheek as Wu Xiao chuckled happily. “Shall we seal the deal with a kiss then?”

Startled into panicking, Jing Shui shot upright and yelped, “W-W-What are you saying?!”

Wu Xiao ran his fingertips down the delicate column of Jing Shui’s throat as he commented worriedly, “Your voice suddenly went very high-pitched there, my beloved. Is your throat alright? Does it hurt?”

Vexed and mortified by the slight touch, Jing Shui flushed as he complained, “Y-Y-You…stop that!”

Blinking his eyes in the very picture of innocence, Wu Xiao asked, “What’s wrong?”

Jing Shui glared at him. Who was he trying to fool with that act?! Jing Shui had already seen the mischievousness glinting in Wu Xiao’s eyes!

Wu Xiao suddenly burst out laughing. “You’re still very fun to tease!” he confessed audaciously.

Curbing the sudden urge to punch the smirk off his new lover’s face, Jing Shui growled, “Keep this up and I’ll never kiss you!”

The threat was successful as Wu Xiao immediately stopped his laughter. Instead, he gazed at Jing Shui with wide, beseeching eyes, looking very wronged and pitiful.

Jing Shui’s lips twitched. This man was still so shameless! But he felt his heart beginning to melt nevertheless, so he begrudgingly decided to forgive him.

Inwardly sighing at his own weakness, Jing Shui pointed to his lips as he relented, his voice somewhat unsteady as he gave his permission. “Okay then, since you’ve repented, you can have a kiss.”

Wu Xiao’s eyes brightened and his hands immediately moved, one wrapping around his beloved’s slim waist to pull him closer, the other supporting the back of Jing Shui’s head as their lips were slowly brought nearer.

Without being prompted, Jing Shui closed his eyes, tilted his head, and parted his lips in waiting. He felt Wu Xiao’s warm breath a moment before a pair of silken lips settled over his own.

As their lips slid and brushed softly against each other, Wu Xiao let out his tongue to lightly stroke it against the seam of his beloved’s lips. Jing Shui opened his mouth slightly and let him in. The slick tongue pushed in and swept over Jing Shui’s mouth, rubbing over the sensitive inside of his cheeks, caressing the roof of his mouth, winding skillfully around his tongue.

Molten currents swept through Jing Shui as a strange need gently unfurled within his belly. Gasping, he leaned into Wu Xiao, his hands clutching desperately at his lover’s shoulders.

Affected by his own desire, Wu Xiao also pulled his Ah-Shui closer, pressing their bodies together tightly. His hand resting on that slender waist began roaming up and down, mapping over his beloved’s back in firm and steady motions.

Jing Shui let out an involuntary moan at the sensation, his body all but melting into Wu Xiao’s.

That strained sound snapped Wu Xiao out of his haze. Their locked lips finally parted as Wu Xiao leaned back, taking in deep breaths to regain his control.

Jing Shui was still resting limply against Wu Xiao, his mind in a daze as he finally understood the appeal of kissing, of being touched by your loved one. No wonder his friend and his Sentinel lover made so much noise so frequently.

The sensation of Wu Xiao’s hands on his body and his tongue in his mouth felt really…nice. When being touched like that, Jing Shui was surprised to realize that he hadn’t even cared about the sounds he’d let out, because being in such a situation with Wu Xiao really felt that comfortable.

“Was that alright?” Wu Xiao’s whisper floated down lightly from above.

Jing Shui nodded, but kept his face buried in Wu Xiao’s chest.

Not minding it, Wu Xiao spoke, “After we leave the palace and return, if you still want to, then we can do it. But I have to warn you, Ah-Shui. My tastes can be a bit…heavy.”

Stiffening, Jing Shui finally spoke, “Heavy? How heavy?”

Wu Xiao raised an eyebrow in surprise. “Oh? You know what I mean?”

Jing Shui huffed as he straightened. In a flat tone, he explained, “There was one time when Master assigned me to catalogue and check on various private orders processed by some of our affiliated blacksmiths. There were many unusual instruments that had been customized for specific usage by the clients and I was naturally required to fully understand their functions to affirm the quality of the work. Long story short, by the time I was done with that assignment, I ended up being enlightened to various unusual proclivities, along with all the different types of metal, wood, leather, and other types of instruments used during bedtime activities, all in unnecessarily excruciating detail. I might not have any practical experience in many things relating to sex, but I am quite aware of most of the unusual practices people engage in while in the bedroom. So yes, I know what you mean by ‘heavy tastes’.”

Wu Xiao’s mouth twitched. It seemed that his senior sister had unwittingly broadened her disciple’s mind to an unusual degree. He wondered how she’d react if she ever found out.

Shaking his head, Wu Xiao wryly said, “You might know about it, but that doesn’t mean that you’ll enjoy it. Ah-Shui, if you feel hesitant, then we can―”

“No, I…I don’t mind trying it,” Jing Shui interrupted in a barely audible voice.

Wu Xiao was surprised yet again. Then smiling, he compromised, “Let’s take it slow, alright? Even if you want to try it, we should start gradually. Let’s explore this after we get back.”

Jing Shui turned his face away, his expression bashful as he nodded. Things were proceeding at a quick pace, yet it also felt natural somehow. Being with Wu Xiao really was very effortless and comfortable.

In a soft voice, Jing Shui suddenly spoke, “Maybe we should just leave here now. I don’t mind going back early.”

Wu Xiao seriously considered it before shaking his head, “No, let’s stay. Xiao Feng seems to have something planned for this place. I think it’s related to you, so we should wait here a while more and see what he’s plotting now in that twisted mind of his.”

Frowning, Jing Shui tried to defend his friend. “I don’t think he’s as strange as you make him out to be.”

With an amused tone, Wu Xiao refuted affectionately, “You only think that because you’re so innocent and pure.”

Jing Shui immediately puffed up in fury. “I’m not! Stop calling me―”

Yet Wu Xiao paid no heed to his beloved’s outbursts as he exclaimed, “Ah, my lover is so cute even when he’s angry!”

“Wu Xiao!” Jing Shui shouted flusteredly. Just when would his lover stop spouting such embarrassing things!

In the neighboring room, Qinghe woke up blearily at the noise of bickering clearly filtering in through the wall and sighed, “So loud.”