Heavenly Shae

Chapter 07: "You can't handle the truth."

Months later, a few weeks from the harvest festival. Both were growing tired of one another, and an argument was being rehashed.

"No, it is still inappropriate to discuss the Dao. What you ask for is too much."

"And discussing evolution somehow isn't enough." The thrum from the word had reduced considerably from the first time Shae said it, but they both still felt it.

"Perhaps if you proved that it was, by discussing it. I would feel indebted enough to do as you request."

"And I said the same to you, you need to earn it as well."

"And so we are at a stalemate, again." The old monster exhaled in defeat and rubbed the side of his face. "I am still bewildered as to why you are so hesitant. You have been more than free with your knowledge, even details which none would believe."

"Hrmm," Shae considered. "Fine, you want to know why. At first, it was out of fear, you were fucking scary that first time. I thought you would rip me apart to get at your precious."

"Ugh," he grimaced, "and now?"

"And now I only see two outcomes. The first and most likely is that you don't like what I have to say, claim it is useless and fail to reciprocate. That feels more likely at this point, you've not been particularly accepting, like with the atomic elements talk, you basically threw it out and ignored it, going so far as to forget key points when I brought them up later."

He sucked air in through his teeth. "That was unavoidable, the- ...it is related to Dao. I cannot speak of it."

"Still so hesitant, yourself?" She mocked and quickly continued. "The second outcome, is that it is just as revelatory as you hope, that you gain enlightenment from the talk and have to rush off to cultivate that enlightenment."

"At which point I would be in your debt and be fully willing to discuss the Dao."

"At which point," she corrected, "You will run off to your cave for who knows how long and forget about me. I will be stuck here, or need to leave on my own to progress my own goals."

"I would never go back on my word."

"You think you will be in control? You think you will have the option to just stop ascending to nascent soul? That you can just ask the heavens to wait a moment, step out and fly me to the town while delivering a sermon on Dao? You said yourself that breakthroughs can take months or years. I sure as shit can't survive the winter here. If not from the cold I'll starve without you handing out food."

His grimace hardened, and he sighed through it. "I cannot deny that as a possibility. So, we are stuck in this stalemate."

"Not quite, as I have already suggested, you need to go first, it's your turn today anyway."

He remained silent, a grimace of distaste stuck on his face. He had gotten much better at breaking through his stoic mask over their months together.

She prodded him again. "Why are you so afraid of sharing? I know the risks already and I accept them freely."

"There are other potential complications. Rumors only, as tradition dictates we do not have these discussions." He controlled his expression, looking more serious than he had been in a while. "If the consequences were more physical, more real. Would you still accept the risks? The potential pain of the outcome?"

Shae was taken aback by the sudden shift. She carefully considered his words. "Yes. This is information I need to know. If it costs me a migraine or a dozen lashes, or the enmity of some higher power like your sect, then I accept the risks, fully."

Seeing the strength of her resolve, confirmed through his divine sense, the old monster smirked. "Very well. Do not say you were not warned, little girl."

"Get to it, old man." She smirked back.

He stood and began to walk around the fire, circling Shae as well. "Sit, and meditate on my words. Pay attention to what feels correct to you, not simply what I emphasize, or what I say is correct. What you find to be true to you, within your very being."

He paused to let her gather herself. She settled in near the fire. The mid afternoon sun beaming down through clear skies warming the near autumn air. Shae forced herself to breath steadily to shake off the anger of their argument and the adrenaline-like rush of having won. After a handful of long breaths she steadied and mumbled 'ready' under her breath, knowing the old monster would catch it.

"Dao can be compared to many things, has many meanings, and even the word has many uses, being both a noun and verb, both private to oneself, and of the world. The True Dao cannot be put into words, cannot be expressed or held by man, mortal or ascended, male, female, or child. Nor by spirit beasts or any others. To do so would be to hold the whole of reality within oneself, which is clearly impossible. Attempts just for larger portions of Dao are known to tear cultivators apart. Even lesser fractions of Dao can destroy a mortal for attempting to reach for them.

"Strictly speaking, the word means 'path', or 'way'. For cultivators it also means 'truth' and some variation on 'thought'. We combine these meanings, and others, and form it into something that is fundamental to the world and to our own cultivation base. These lesser Dao allow us to anchor ourselves to the greater True Dao.

"Our personal Dao will vary significantly. Even two who start with the same or very similar Dao, drift quickly as they find their own 'path', their own 'truth', and more. Once enough time, or enlightenment and cultivation progress has elapsed, those two might find their Dao in direct conflict with each other. To flex one's Dao, to use it, is to test it against the world. Force it into being and force the world to obey your Dao. And to force it upon those around you.

"While we have sat here before, argued about our knowledge and how we see the world. Two powerful cultivators could simply test their Dao against one another. The one with the stronger Dao, or perhaps the one closer to the true Dao, will be victorious. A vicious test, with a sometimes brutal outcome, but very effective." As if to emphasize his point, a peal of thunder rolled over the mountain and the sound nearly deafened Shae with how close it was.

"Ack." She staggered in surprise, the old man grabbing her shoulder in support. After a breath to regain herself she asked, "Does it require qi to possess, or wield?"

"Wield? Not directly, though it can be reinforced with qi, and some Dao can be used to block or resist qi pressure. Possess? Uncertain, there is certainly something you need, enlightenment, perhaps-" Another peal of thunder rolled across the mountain. "Hmmm."

"So it's not just knowledge." Shae mumbled to herself. "And something personal, a path?"

The old monster still caught her mumbles. "I've heard some say it is not knowledge at all, that it cannot be passed with words as knowledge can." Thunder rumbled again in the background, just as loud but less insistent. The wind whipped up in response to the sudden storm.

"But you don't even try, you don't talk about them." Shae argued, her focus on her thoughts, not noticing the dark skies or the chill wind. She felt so close to understanding, like the idea was on the tip of her tongue, a memory just out of reach. "You don't even put what you know to paper, to share or spread understanding or enlightenment."

"We enlighten each other when we can, but cultivation is a lonely path." The old man mused, as he walked away while buffeting the wind and dampening the echoing thunder with his qi.

"A path, a truth, but it is all held within, unshared." She continued to ramble quietly, "Almost as if it was a s-" Thunder cracked again, very nearby.

"Sorry, didn't catch that." The old man raised his voice over the wind and echoes of thunder, shouting across the campfire.

"Ha! Ha, ha! I was more right than either of us knew!" Shae jumped up, turning to face him, eyes wide with excitement. "It's all about se-" A sudden crack deafened them, a flash blinding them both momentarily. Shae dropped to her knees and then bent forward, catching herself with a hand, stunned by the impact.

"Lightning." The old monster said flatly.

"What?" She shouted at the ground, her hearing still ringing.

He crossed the few meters distance between them. Pulled her upright sharply, pointing to the charred mark on the ground, just beside their campfire and larger than it, the mark directly between where the two had been standing. Then he pulled her gaze upwards to the roiling storm clouds above them. The clouds swirled angrily, flashes of lightning revealing depth to the blackness deep in the clouds. Shae stared into it.

A ripple of qi, like a sudden vibration, raced up her arm from where he had grabbed her. It tickled her ear then went deeper. "Lightning strike. A heavenly tribulation." His voice reverberated directly into her mind, giving it an odd vibrato. "This is the consequence of our discussion of Dao."

"Huh? This? A freak storm. How?" She was bewildered by what was going on.

"At least it isn't red." He squinted up at it. "I can't feel anything, so it is probably here for you. What do you feel when you look at it, does it feel angry?" His words were still being transmitted directly into her mind.

"Uh?" She stared at it, trying to feel what he meant. "Umm, it's a storm? Maybe a little angry, and judgemental?"

"Yes, definitely here for you. Not the worst case though, the first strike was likely a warning for me not to interfere."

"First strike? There's going to be more?" Her eyes finally broke away from the building storm to look at him.

"Oh yes, Heavenly Lightning Tribulation, that is what they are called. Maybe only one more if you are lucky, but it will be a direct strike, not another warning. What are you doing?"

He watched her stomp and stumble over to the water barrel and begin rummaging through the workbench's drawers. She withdrew their small bag of salt and dumped it into the water barrel. She then found the rope she had been working on the past few weeks. Made from the cleaned wire-like fibers of the iron blood creeper, it had been a task to keep her busy more than anything, something to occupy her fidgety hands. While the dark red wire was not great for snares, a bit too thin and weak, when woven with twine it made a visually interesting and sturdy rope. She dunked it into the water submerging it completely, then began scooping out water with a bowl and pouring it over her clothes. The rough peasant garb soaked up the water greedily, she focused only on her right arm and right leg, splashing down her right side a bit as well.

"Well if you have time for whatever that is. You could also start telling me about your evo- " he cleared his throat, "Evolution, thing."

"What!" She stopped only momentarily to glare at him.

"Well, you are probably going to die from the next strike, so I would appreciate you fulfilling your side of the bargain."

"You're fucking serious right now?" She shouted without really looking over at him. "You've already given up and expect me to die? How long do I have?"

"Long? not sure, a few breaths probably."

She hauled the rope out of the water barrel, dripping and sloshing out most of the water with it. She wrapped it around her right wrist and arm, then trailed it down her side and kicked her leg around it, getting a few wraps there too. The rope was only about three or four meters long, so she had aimed to leave a meter loose at either end with her in the middle. "You've already given up on me then? A bit callous of you. Is it just one strike?"

"Nothing personal, these are not meant for mortals. Probably more than one. Usually sets of three. Oh! Do try to not die, if you can."

She raised her right arm to the sky, soaked with water and wrapped with the wet rope, a clear challenge. "Shit. Be helpful, make more water! When is it going to-" She had less warning than she expected, the white and blue lightning circling the center of the storm just before coming down for her. The storm's eye at the center reminded her a lot of a tornado, though it swirled slower and was backlit with much more lightning. Just before the flash, she thought she caught a hint of gold in the clouds and in the strike that came for her.

A moment later she gasped from the ground. A searing pain all down her right side. Adrenaline and shock took over quickly and she looked around. Thunder rolling back again as though from the distant echo of the bolt that struck her. The old man was off to the side, staring, quite the surprised expression on his face.

Shae stood slowly, unsteadily, like a deer learning to walk. The clouds above had not dissipated even slightly. "Ha! Still conscious even!"

"You're steaming." The old monster said, still with his qi technique.

She was, the water that had soaked into her clothes nearly all turning to steam in an instant. Was that the pain she felt? Just the steam. "A bit of a static shock never killed anyone!" She laughed, and coughed, stumbling back to the workbench. "More water, NOW!" She tried to get herself to shout at him. She wasn't sure how loud she was. She might have already been shouting at him.

"Interfering with a tribulation can make it worse." He chimed at her, more of a friendly warning, knowing she wouldn't care. To prove this he had already started moving towards the water barrel.

"You're already involved!" She rummaged through the drawers again, she had used all the salt and would need something else. "Is this actual copper?" She asked as she held up a handful of the copperfur plant.

"What? Oh, yes, it contains a small amount of metal qi as well." He said somewhat absentmindedly while channeling qi into the water barrel, forcing it to draw moisture out of the air faster than it was really designed for. He added some of his own water control as well.

Shae quickly threw the herbs into the mortar and pestle and roughly mashed them, quickly realizing she didn't really have the time for this. She threw it into the barrel, reaching her hand in as well to mix it.

"That's not going to mix, the leaves are too oily." The old monster pointed out, with some dissatisfaction. "You have a few more breaths, you could start the lecture now?" He prodded.

She growled at him and yanked open the bottom drawer of the workbench. She grabbed a handful of rice flour, throwing it in, then noticed the egg at the back of the drawer, in the chiller formation. She grabbed it without hesitation and smashed it into the barrel, shattering the shell on the inside and mixed furiously with her right hand.

"What, are you making bread now?" The old monster exhaled in mock defeat. Waving her away, "Let me do it." Once she had her hand out he concentrated with one stiffly posed hand in front of him, made a quick pattern with his fingers that Shae didn't catch, and smacked his hand into the side of the barrel. A light puff of steam rose, and a splash of not quite water escaped over the top.

Without hesitation, she reached in with the bowl. Again, scooping out the mixture to splash over her right side and limbs. Getting a bit more on the rope. The minty smell of the copperfur cut through her senses, then she caught the burning smells, cloth, hair, and flesh, she gagged once then pushed her disgust aside. It wasn't important right now. "I need to predict the timing. Exactly when will it strike?" The bowl scraped the bottom of the barrel, and she dropped it to return to the ruined campfire.

"Predict it? You can't, not as you are now, though I have heard it grows more visually aggressive if you provoke it." He teased smugly.

"Provoke it!?" She smirked. "This'll be fun!" Cackling with nervous energy, she shouted at the storm. "You call that lightning? I've had worse shocks from door knobs! You bunch of self righteous static electricity. You don't scare me, I know exactly what you are! Just a few billion-trillion loose electrons trying to get back to earth."

The lightning crackled through the clouds in response, threads of red and gold joining the growing storm in the center.

Shae held the soaking wet rope above her, flicking it as she yelled, a single loop sticking up from her hand like she was threatening the storm with a noose. "Yea, just a cloud full of ions, rubbing themselves off, trying to build up a bit of a charge to shock your betters!" She could nearly feel the charge in the air, her right arm and leg twitching with anticipation. Her left foot tensed, ready to act.

As she screamed at it, more gold sparks poured into the center. "All you have is millions of volts and you think you can hurt me!? You can't even touch me! I've been eating rabbit asses and rice for months so you'd better know I'm iron deficient. You couldn't touch my blood or my heart with all the current in the world." She barely had time to finish as the lightning hit a crescendo in the center and raced down at her. Her limbs twitched and her left leg left the ground right as the bolt crashed down on her.

She lost time again. Found herself on the ground, ears ringing and her whole right side twitching. A shadow passed over her briefly and the echoing boom of thunder awoke her. She gasped raggedly, her lungs barely obeying her over their own spasms of movement. "Hwaaa!" She called out.

"Still alive?" The old monster's words rung in her head.

The world was muffled silence and low rumbles of thunder, she was probably deaf, but she was still alive. From the ground, she turned to see the old man sticking his hand into the barrel and tasting the contents, followed by a grimace that Shae found hilarious. "Ha.. ha.. ha! I- I'm still fine. Never been better!" She made a rude gesture up at the storm.

"You were out for quite a bit, that time. Congratulations are not yet in order, another bolt is coming, probably stronger, you really do know how to strike pressure points with just words."

She shuddered at that, and looked closer at the storm. Yes, it was just as large as before and had already built up quite the circle of white-blue lightning around the center, a clear hole surrounded by arcing lightning, like a great iris looking down at her. She considered not standing, it was probably safer from the ground. Yet, she wasn't here for cowardice, was she?

"I'll be quite interested to examine your corpse after the next strike. The gold divine threads are not usually bestowed upon mortals, it will be interesting to see what it's done to your body, what you've lost out on by dying too soon." The old monster quickly went from morose regret to dry mockery.

That was enough. She nearly jumped to her feet. "You think I'm here just to fucking die?" She shouted at both him and the storm. "Do you think I got out of bed this morning to play this creepy old dude's shit-ass cultivation games?"

"Hey! I have a name."

"-Just to jump through your dumb shock therapy hurdles and cower in fear of a storm? Fear is the little death and I'm not scared!" She was yelling at the storm again.

"You do know my name, right?" The old man grumbled.

Holding out her rope and whipping the end around as she shouted. The loop was missing now, the rope having disintegrated where the lightning struck it. So, she held the broken ends and thrashed it around. The feeling of twitchy energy pulsed through her, like she couldn't still her limbs however she might want to.

Thunder from the clouds continued to rumble, streaks of gold sparking into the center ring of lightning as she screamed at it. "I'm not scared of your heavenly bullshit, you don't even get to come down here. I know how you work, lightning is a balance, it rises from the ground just as it falls from the sky, to meet in the middle, your shit doesn't even get to touch me!"

"It's Heavenly lightning, girl. It doesn't care about your rules." Her audience mocked flatly.

"Oh well! If it's heavenly lightning! Sure I'll just roll over then! I can't fathom all the special rules your dumb asses think exist just because you have a little taste of magic." She mocked him right back. The storm echoed in thunderous laughter that she was deaf to, and could only feel in her chest. She pointed at the sky again. "You think I'm going to just let you handwave off some bullshit because you're heavenly? Bitch, I showed up with the refined knowledge of billions of mortal humans. I'm not going to die to your showy-ass magic. I have an elementary school library worth of trivia, and you think I'm not going to use it? Hundreds of hours of freely produced explainer videos on cute animal facts that I'm just going to forget so I can play with your dumbass qi?"

The old man managed to get in a very confused "what?" as a huge wave of red and gold sparks rolled towards the center of the storm.

"Lightning, HA! We fucking own you, we buy and sell you for pennies! I used you to make toast and dry my hair." She could feel the strike coming, her hair lifting up with the complimentary electric charge from the ground around her. "We put you in a series of tubes to show us porn and cat pictures, and I'm too young to be horny so show me some goddamn cat pic-" Darkness.

Shae didn't remember the rest of the lightning strike, if she had lifted her leg or jumped off the ground like she had planned. Just a single image of gold and red lightning striking her outstretched hand, biting into her body, an image burned into her soul. Distinctly lacking in cats.