Heart of Dorkness

The waitress arrives, a nondescript girl with an uninteresting class and an expression that clearly conveys how bored she is with her work. I order some tea, and then a few pastries from the menu. Nothing too expensive, but plenty of them. I’ve seen how much Felix eats.

“What do you like to drink?” I ask Felix.

“Juice?” she tries.

It doesn’t take long for Esme to place her own order, and soon enough the three of us are alone again as the waitress leaves to get our things. Esme leans forward. “Are you serious?” she asks.

“It wouldn’t do to say, not unless you’re willing to promise not to tell.”

Esme nods. “I promise. I don’t tell people things easily, I swear. And I don’t really have friends to tell secrets to anyway! Tell me, please!”

I can’t help but to giggle at her enthusiasm. “Why are you so eager to fight the Church of the Hero?” I ask.

“It’s not fighting them, it’s, uh, taking back something they took unfairly.” She nods, as if confirming that what she’s said was correct.

“I guess so,” I say as I lean forward too. “Felix, can you make sure no one’s listening in?”

“I can keep watch... sorta.”

“Thanks,” I say before addressing Esme. “So, there’s this big shipment of books that goes to Santafaria every so often. Have you heard of it?”

Esme shakes her head. “Nope.”

“Right, well, that shipment’s delivered to my mom. She’s a big fan of books.”

“My mom was too,” Esme says. “Both of my parents were.”

I’m not going to ask about the tense there. “Right, so the church confiscated the entire shipment and brought it back here. They didn’t even bother sorting it first.”

“That’s awful.”

“I know! So I want to get those books back, but I don’t know where to find them or anything.”

“Do you have a plan?” she asks.

I hesitate. It really wouldn’t do not to have one. “Well, uh, yes. But it’s a plan that’s still being planned.” I have a plan whose first step is: make a plan. That counts, I think. “Before I can really do anything, I need to scout out the location where the books are held. Figure out how they’re guarded, what sort of resistance we’re likely to face, and how.”

“Like how to sneak by guards and things,” Esme says. Her eyes are sparkling. “You’re planning a heist!”

We both jerk back as the waitress returns with our pastries and sets them on the table. I look away until I sense the woman moving off.

“That’s exactly it,” I say.

“Like in Fogborn?”

“Oh no, more like in Earth’s Nine,” I say.

Esme nods. “I liked that one, yeah. It was really neat. The sequel isn’t too bad either.”

“There’s a sequel?” I ask.

“What are you both talking about?” Felix asks.

I swallow, sit back down, and ignore the warmth touching my cheeks. “Uh, just some stuff. Anyway, yes, we need information and things.”

Esme hums for a moment, her eyes never quite leaving me. “And the first person you thought to help was an assistant librarian?”

“Uh,” I say. Maybe I should be trying to find someone a bit more... more than Esme to help. I guess I’m getting carried away again. Mom would have found the best break-in experts and spies and assassins by now. I’ve found one Esme. “I guess?”

Esme laughs, then picks up her tea. “Thanks. I don’t know why you decided to talk to me, but it’s nice to chat with someone new. Most of the time people just ask me to find some weird book, or ask me if I’m lost in the back of the library. The archivists are nice, but they mostly help because of my parents.”

I sip my tea. It’s not bad. “Basically... I’m kind of in a little bit of trouble.” I pinch my fingers together before me, the universal sign of ‘not a lot.’ “And the best way to fix everything would be to get those books back.”

“And you’re going to try to steal them?” Esme asks.

Her facade of being a normal happy girl drops a bit. Oh, sure, she still looks happy and normal, but I can see the same doubt writ across her features that Mom has whenever I explain one of my more interesting ideas to her.

“Yes. And, technically, it’s not theft if they’re supposed to belong to me. Pretty sure they’re paid for and all.”

“I guess,” Esme dismisses. “But you’re just a girl. You’re not actually going to sneak into the Heroes’ Academy, get past all the guards and the students there, then walk up to the place with all the books and hide a few away.”

“Of course not,” I say. “I don’t want to steal, uh, reacquire just a few. I want all of them.”

“Miss Valeria,” she whines. “You’re being very silly.”

I pout right back at her. “I’m not being silly. If you think I can’t do it, then I don’t need your help. I can find someone else. It’s not like I reached you on purpose. Though I would appreciate it if you kept your word about keeping things secret.”

Esme eyes me critically for a moment, then adjusts her glasses. They’re foggy from the tea. “What’s in it for me?” she asks, her voice low, almost dangerous.

I shift.

She snorts. “Whoa, that sounded really neat, didn’t it?”

“Were you quoting someone?”

Her head bobs up and down. “Yeah! A few mercenary characters. You know the sort.”

“Mmhmm,” I agree. “As for what’s in it for you... I guess if we succeed, I could let you pick out a book.”

“One book,” she asks with the same tone I’d use if Mom offered me one cookie to clean my room.

“Two books then.”

“We could get into big trouble, you know!”

“Fine, as many books as you can carry on your own. How’s that?”

Esme pauses, her eyes narrow. She flexes her arms a few times, biceps... not so much bulging as squirming under her shirt. “Yeah, I think I like that one.”

“Do we actually need her help?” Felix asks.

Her head isn’t turned towards either of us, but I still have the impression she’s focused on me. “I... well, maybe we do, maybe we don’t,” I say. “Esme, how can you help us?”

Esme blinks. “Uh... I don’t know, I’m just a librarian... a trainee librarian! I know a bit of spark magic, because it’s easy to do and fun, and I guess I know how to read and write and all that.”

“So do I,” I say. It’s a lot more fun being on the other side of the interview table, even if the table we’re at is round and doesn’t technically have sides. I shake my head. “I don’t know, Esme, maybe your help is only worth half the number of books you can carry.”

She gasps, her cheeks go red, and a spark of electricity smacks the table before her hand crashes into it with the full force of a puppy running into a patio door. “Fine, I’ll help you, then, and it’ll be the best help you’ve ever gotten.”

I grin. And Mom said I’d never be good at manipulating people! Here I did it entirely on accident.

“Alright!” I say as the pastries arrive. “In that case, you’re on the team. I think the first thing we’ll need is a proper idea of where things are. We can’t plan an extraction without knowing that much. Then we just need to, uh, figure out the rest. But that’s the most important part.” I nod. “Oh! And we need a place to stay and plan all of this. Preferably a place that’s not too far from the church and the books.”

The waitress places a bill on the table and I thank her absently. I have some change now, so I stack a couple of silver on it and watch them vanish.

“I think I know a place,” Esme says. “I can show you right now. But the rest, uh...”

I rub my chin. “Do you think Semper’s Library would have the plans for the Academy’s layout?’ I ask.

Esme nods. “Oh, we do have that, I think. We have all of the building plans for a lot of the big churches and temples.”

I snap my fingers. “That’s it then. Your job, Esme, is to get us those plans. We, in the meantime”—I gesture between Felix and myself—“are going to scout out this Academy place. See what we can learn about it from just walking around.”

“I... I guess that’s a plan,” Esme says. “Did you want to see that place I was talking about?”

“Sure!” I say. I reach over and grab one of the last pastries. Felix was kind enough to leave two of them untouched. The rest have all disappeared down her mouth and I think in her pockets. No wonder she’s been so quiet. “Let’s finish this up, and you can show us everything,” I say.

***