Heart of Dorkness

Terror Thirty-Nine - Slice

“You only have one?” I ask.

The salesman nods. He has a small smile on. It’s the sort of smile people who have to deal with customers wear while thinking about how long they still need to spend working. “Just this one,” he says.

I twist my lips left and right while staring at the statue. All the other gods and goddesses have neat statues. They’re in simple poses, looking regal or god-like, with little details etched into the stone.

My mom’s statue depicts her as a large three-headed dragon-thing, though there aren’t any wings.

Now, last I checked, Mom only had the one head, and she wasn’t scaly, so I can’t say this is a very accurate statue at all. “Are you sure this is supposed to be the Dark Goddess?” I ask.

“That is how she looks, yes,” the salesman says.

“According to whom?” I ask. “No, nevermind, I’ll take it.”

“Wonderful! I must admit we sell few depictions of the Dark Goddess.”

I sense rather than see Felix step up next to me. “That must mean this one’s not worth much then,” she says.

I blink in confusion until it hits me. She’s haggling. “This is also not the most accurate statue I see here. It almost looks a bit... poorly made.”

The salesman laughed. “I can give you a discount, if that’s what you’re fishing for,” he said. “But only a small one because you three remind me of my favourite nieces.”

I’m not sure if I should be insulted at that or not, but I’ll take the discount. He names a price, and I fish in my purse for the right coin to hand over, then the salesman grabs the little statuette, wraps it in cloth and places it within a small wooden box.

“Thank you,” I say as I take it. It has a nice heft to it, and the box will make for nice gift wrapping. All I need now is to find a bow to put atop it.

Felix, Esme and I peel away from the statue salesman and continue down the row of the bazaar. “Why did you want a statue of the Dark Goddess?” Esme asks.

I hesitate before answering. The fewer people who know about my origins, the better, and I’m not entirely sure I can trust Esme yet. Sure, we share a bunch of hobbies in common, and someone who likes books can’t be a bad person, but that doesn’t mean she won’t freak out about Mom. “Don’t tell anyone,” I say, “but my family all worship the Dark Goddess. I’m a Disgust mage myself, though I’m working hard to multi-discipline.”

“Oh, wow!’ Esme says. “That’s uncommon, especially here. Are you from out east?”

She probably means out near Caselfella, where they’re more lenient about Mom, but technically home is to the northeast of Montele so... “Yup,” I say.

“I really want to travel one day,” Esme says. “See the world, visit all these neat and interesting places. That’s what Semper’s archivists do, you know? They visit old ruins, ancient temples, and forgotten cities. Some of them bring back samples to Semper’s temples and others just write down what they see, and if it’s considered an important enough finding, it’s added to the Great Archive.”

“What’s that?” Felix asks.

I have to admit I’m curious too. I’ve heard of it, but only in passing.

“It’s a sort of library made of stone tablets. There are dozens of them across the world, and they have a big stone at the entrance that teaches you how to read them. They have an accurate retelling of the world’s history, details about how magic works, and how to make tools and things.”

“What’s all that for?” Felix asks. “Sounds like a lot of work to make something like that. Do people visit them?”

“Oh no, they’re hidden,” Esme says. “They’re in case the world is destroyed, or if there’s another great war with the Monster hordes. The last time that happened, a lot of things were just... lost. How to make some tools and weapons and alchemical things, some understanding about magic... The Great Archives are there to make sure that if people need to start over, they’ll know how.”

I nod. That matches what I’ve read too. I’ve never actually asked Mom about the last time there was a big monster horde. Maybe I should?

“Do you need anything else?” Esme asks me. “We could talk more while grabbing something to eat. I’m famished!”

“Eating sounds good,” Felix says right away.

I laugh. “Sure, I wouldn’t mind. Where should we go?”

“There’s a big square filled with food carts and tables. It’s not too far from here and it’s also not too far from the Academy,” Esme says. “We might see some acolytes out on break or something.”

“Oh, that’s a great idea,” I say. “Show us where it is!”

Esme grins and leads the way, with Felix and I right on her tail the entire time. We leave the bazaar, a guard inspecting us as we leave to make sure we don’t have anything stolen on us, then head towards what I think is the middle of Montele.

It’s closer to the Academy, but I can’t really say much more than that.

When Esme described the square, I imagined it as some place with a few stalls to the sides and maybe a dozen tables in the centre. The reality is different. I can’t count the stalls, there are too many wedged in next to each other, and there are so many people around it’s hard to see past them all.

The entire square is filled with tables, though there is a big fountain in the middle with a statue of what looks like the god Besters sitting on a pile of eggs. Some of the eggs are cracked and there’s water pouring out of them.

“This place smells so good,” Felix says. I can almost hear her salivating.

“Come on, I know the best one,” Esme says. She dives into the crowd, and I manage to catch her hand before she disappears. Felix takes my other hand and we slip between much taller people with a laugh as Esme leads us to the far end and to a line of people in front of a cart. A fat man in a white outfit with a stained apron on is overlooking a stall where oil is sizzling and fatty foods are being cooked.

The chef glares at all of his customers before cursing under his breath when one of them is slow to pay. A swipe to the side, and a gush of red-hot fire rushes out of his hands and splashes against the underside of the container holding his oil.

“Get some billon out now,” Esme says. “He gets extra angry if you make him wait.”

“What do they sell here?” I ask.

“You never know!” Esme says.

The customer ahead of us half-turns. “It’s bean balls with sesame today.”

“That does sound good,” I say.

By the time we’re next, I’m absolutely starving. The smells and happy noises of so many people eating and chatting has me famished.

We buy six bean-ball skewers and then rush over to one of the seats nearest the fountain, where the splash from the water sprinkles down on us whenever the wind shifts.

Felix is incommunicado a moment later, too busy munching on her skewers even if it looks like every bite is burning her lips and tongue. She doesn’t seem to care. Esme and I are slower, blowing over our meals and taking little nibbles.

It’s as good as it smells!

“This place is great,” I say.

Esme nods. “Sometimes the other librarians will give me some coins to run over here and grab food for them. They always know when the best stuff will be up.”

“That’s great,” I say.

Then something catches my eye. A single person in the white robes of the Church of the Hero. An acolyte, maybe. Their hood is down, and so I can see their face from the side. Blonde hair, cut short, and bright blue eyes.

A girl? I thought that only boys were allowed, but maybe I was wrong.

She’s... familiar, though. But that’s not possible; I’ve never seen her. I know I haven’t.

“Valeria?” Esme asks.

“Huh? Oh, yeah, these are good. Do they sell drinks here too?”

“Yup! There’s a Fear mage that sells fruit drinks with ice in them! No matter the season!”

“We should go there next,” I say.

When I glance back, the girl is gone.

***