Head In The Stars

The music shop looked small on the outside with barely a three metre wide front on the street, but it turned out to be quite spacious once you got inside. I'd never been there before, or even heard of it, but it had turned up as the closest shop on my search results.

Like most music shops, the walls were lined with guitars with a few ukuleles hung up by the counter. The shop assistant was luckily helping a customer add a nail for a strap to an acoustic guitar so I was able to slip my way through unaccosted to the back of the shop where I knew the strings and other guitar accessories should be.

I looked around and spotted a wall with leads, effects pedals, and strings for all kinds of instruments. I went towards it.

Millie's flurry of questions was endless and the only thing that finally stopped them was Aron asking her to help him write his reports for him. That so derailed her that she seemed to completely forget about needling me about my past glory.

Like so many other things I'd done recently, I hadn't been in a music shop for years but instead of making me feel awkward and out of time, I found myself feeling rather soothed by the muted echos of one person tuning a bass guitar, and another exploring chords on a piano.

A piano...

I'd assumed the shop was too small to have a piano section, but the warbly plinks told me otherwise.

I stopped, completely forgetting about the guitar strings, and followed my ears. They led me to a metal staircase that spiraled up in the corner just behind the front counter. I took the stairs two at a time and emerged in a brightly lit room.

Half the room, the back part of the room, was dedicated to music books which stacked up high on the tall bookshelves. The other half was dedicated with pianos and electric keyboards. The keyboards were mounted up the walls while the traditional pianos filled the floor. There were so many, and so little room, that there wasn't enough space for any seats so even the child in the corner had to struggle with tapping a foot on the sustain pedal as they struggled their way through Fur Elise.

I looked in wonder at the place. The reviews online had not lied about quality.

By the windows that looked out on the street was a full-sized grand piano.

I felt myself drawn to it.

Was it a Steinway? It had that curve...

I went towards it and ran a finger along one of its ivory white keys.

It was then that I heard my father's voice.

Keep your hands curled like you're holding an egg. No, looser... looser. You don't want to be putting in any extra effort. Yes, that's right...

I jumped and spun around but there was no one behind me. And how could I have thought otherwise? There was no way he could be here, no way...

My heartbeat quickly and loudly in my chest, I could hear the throb of it in my ears.

I shouldn't be here. I shouldn't have come here.

This was a dream I had no right to come back to, to try to come back to.

Knees shaking, I went as fast as I could to the stairs. I couldn't hear the child playing in the corner anymore, but I couldn't be sure if they were gone or if I was. The metal of the banister was cold against my hot hand but I somehow stumbled down to the ground floor.

The world lurched as I crossed the store. I could hear the hum of people talking but couldn't focus on them. All I wanted was to be away.

I pushed open the door and went into the light.

The light burned and burned and…

"Lachlan!"

A hand grabbed my hand and pulled me to a stop. I turned but my vision still swam.

"Come this way," said the voice and gently pulled me to the side. I couldn't do much more than obey

It was shadier here and slowly, slowly, slowly, the pounding in my chest subsided and the world dimmed back to normal. I turned to find Aron next to me still holding my arm.

"What are you doing here?" I asked. My voice was weak.

"I'm on patrol and just passing by," said Aron. "How are you feeling?"

I took a deep breath and asked myself the same question. "Alright," I concluded.

"Has this happened before?"

I nodded.

"Alright…" He let go of my arm.

I glanced at the road. Aron must have grabbed me back from walking into traffic.

"Thank you," I said. My voice was stronger now, almost back to normal.

Aron shook his head. "Actually… I chose to patrol around here cos I thought I might run into you."

I thought that might have been the case. "Oh?"

"Yeah, I… wanted to apologise for earlier," Aron said.

"Earlier?"

"When I told Millie about the music competition and all that. I... got too excited. It's your business, not mine. I didn't have the right to do that." He paused. "And it might have caused what happened just then… Is there... anything I can do to make it up to you? Anything I can help you with?" His eyes were round and for the first time they didn't seem so distant.

I hadn't expected him to take it so seriously. To be honest, I'd mostly forgotten all about that.

I couldn't help chuckling. "No, it's fine…" I began then stopped as my mind latched onto a particular thought.

"Actually," I said, pointing at the music shop. "Can you... help me buy some guitar strings?"

--

"Won't it look weird?" I posited.

Aron kicked the kickstand of his bicycle up and got on it. "It'll look weirder if I'm slowly cycling next to you," he said.

You'd do that, wouldn't you, I thought to myself. "What about your partner?"

"He has his own bike."

"No, I mean, don't you have to work?"

"My shift just ended," Aron said with a thumbs up and a straight face.

I couldn't handle this guy, I just couldn't. I shook my head and got onto the back of the bicycle. I'd never ridden with another person before, let alone on the back, so I hadn't realised how… intimate it was. I scooted backwards and tried to find something to hold onto that wasn't Aron.

"Put your arms around me," Aron said, patting his middle.

"Is that really necessary?" I asked.

"If you don't, you'll fly off like a sack of potatoes," Aron replied without a hint of irony.

I gulped and put my arms lightly around him. I didn't especially want to become a sack or a potato.

Aron started forward and I quickly grabbed him more tightly. I'd ridden bicycles before, but this somehow felt a lot faster and a lot more nerve wracking. Hurtling through space with no control was scary and I shut my eyes without thinking.

I couldn't imagine what it would be like if this was a motorcycle instead.

But after coasting for a while, and some stops and starts, I gradually got used to it though I didn't relax my hold on Aron. Carefully, I opened my eyes and peered over Aron's shoulder.

The world was still slipping by at an alarming rate, but it didn't feel nearly as scary anymore.

"What song is that?" The rushing wind made it hard to hear anything, but I still heard Aron's voice. Or perhaps I felt it through our embrace.

"Song?"

"The one you're humming."

"Oh, uh. Nothing. Sorry." I carefully shut my mouth. I hadn't realised I was humming.

"No, keep going. It sounded nice."

I blushed and turned away even though I knew Aron couldn't see my face. There were other people on bikes and other people walking on both sides of us and I wondered what they thought when they saw us. Probably they didn't think anything at all.

I looked down and put my forehead against Aron's back.

There was music playing in my ears, a melody filling a kind of in-between space in my mind and heart.

It had been a long time since I'd heard it, so long that I hadn't even noticed it was there or knew when it started.

We slowed to a stop, and I looked around. We were back at the police station in the little carpark behind the building with its shipping containers.

I got off first to let Aron pack the bike away in its rack.

"Hey... about dinner," I said.

Aron looked up from locking the bike. He looked surprised and oddly younger than normal.

I swallowed. "I think things have calmed down a bit, so, just tell me when you want to have dinner..."

I knew it was a mistake to assume things and I knew I had a habit of misunderstanding things, but perhaps I could just enjoy myself for a little bit. Just a little bit.

Aron beamed.

"Alright."

The song in my head had no lyrics except for one word.

Maybe.

Maybe.

Maybe.