Hard Luck Hermit

“Is it like, safe down there? Didn’t Theddis mention some radiation stuff?”

As the Hard Luck Hermit sat in low orbit above the Paga For, Corey had a good view of the planet’s utterly barren surface, and of the dying stars that formed the center of the system. The twinned stars gave off a brilliantly white glow that hurt to look at, so Corey tried not to get too caught up in the celestial radiance. He felt like he’d probably damage his eyes if he stared, no matter how pretty it was.

“If you mean safe as in ‘is it habitable’, yes, it’s perfectly fine,” Kamak said. “At least in the radiation shielded area we’ll be visiting. Anywhere else on the planet would give you sixteen new and exciting kinds of cancer in about half a swap.”

“The shielding works, though,” Doprel said. “You’re getting exposed to more radiation right now than you will be under the dome.”

“Not helping.”

“You’ll be fine either way, we got pills for that kind of stuff,” Tooley said.

“The last pills you gave me had me flat on my ass for seven swaps,” Corey protested.

“For which I again apologize, but your alien biology makes certain treatments harder to properly prescribe,” Farsus said. “Captain Kamak. Do we have a plan of action once we’re on the ground?”

“Vaguely,” Kamak said. “My contact’s agreed to meet us. From there it kind of depends on what they tell us.”

“Who is this fucking guy anyway, do we get any clues now that we’re closer?”

“No. You’ll meet him soon enough and it’ll all make sense,” Kamak assured them. “Now Tooley, you’ve been here before, right?”

“And I got the scars and the tattoo to prove it,” Tooley said. Corey’d been wondering where that tattoo had come from. She had some kind of alien predator’s skull on her left shoulder.

“Right, so you know what to do,” Kamak said. “Corvash, guess this intro speech is for you, then. Paga For ain’t exactly the most inviting place, so be on your best behavior.”

Once a scientific outpost meant to study the two collapsing stars, Paga For had long since served its purpose, and been reinvented as a haven for the living detritus of the galaxy. Far outside the jurisdiction or even reasonable interest of any galactic authority, Paga For had established itself as a hotspot for those who wanted to act outside anyone’s laws. Though it had, of course, developed a few unspoken laws of its own.

“Keep your gun on you and visible at all times,” Kamak said. “But don’t ever draw it unless you’re about to die or someone else draws first. You don’t want to look like an easy mark, but you don’t want to look like a problem either.”

While the Paga For community had little need for laws, most of them liked not getting shot, so a tense truce existed among everyone who came through town. Whenever one person started a fight, fifteen to twenty “concerned citizens” ended said fight by shooting the instigator dead on the spot. The violent gentleman’s agreement wasn’t a clean method of keeping the peace, but it was highly effective.

“Beyond that, keep your head down, and don’t listen to any sales pitches,” Kamak said. “Don’t go anywhere with any strangers, either.”

“Maybe you should just hire a babysitter for me,” Corey snorted.

“I’m not fucking kidding, Corvash, be careful. I’ve been here like twenty times and I end up stabbed on every third visit or so,” Kamak said.

“Hmm, interesting,” Farsus said, as he stroked his hairy chin. ‘This will be our third visit in the time we have known each other, and you have not been stabbed the prior two times.”

“Don’t you put that on me,” Kamak said. “Tooley, take us down.”

“Got it, cap,” Tooley said, as she eagerly began the slow ride through the scorched atmosphere of Paga For.

“Huh. Almost looks like something out of a western.”

“Out of a what?”

“Never mind,” Corey mumbled. The dusty streets and unevenly spaced, rusted buildings shared some aesthetics with an old west town, but the influence of alien technology -and alien bodies- overwhelmed any old-timey aesthetics. Heavily armed aliens shambled the streets and lurked in alleyways of former research stations that had been converted into black markets, bars, and brothels. A few of the more observant aliens kept an eye on Kamak and his crew as they descended, but most were too wrapped up in their own dealings to care about the new arrivals.

“Meeting first,” Kamak said, as Tooley eyed a bar. “Follow me.”

She reluctantly peeled her eyes away from the house of alcohol and followed in Kamak’s dusty footsteps. The building he led them to didn’t have any signage, but the crowd of attractive, half-dressed aliens lingering around every entrance made it pretty clear what one might find inside. Corey suppressed a cough as he stepped inside and nearly got overwhelmed by a miasma of extraterrestrial perfume.

“Take shallow breaths, Corey,” Farsus advised. “There are aphrodisiacs in the perfume.”

Corey couldn’t suppress the cough after hearing that. As he cleared his throat, he attracted the attention of some of the local “employees”, and a menagerie of overly flirtatious aliens wormed their way through the crew. Corey felt a little offended that most of their toying touches and alluring whispers were focused on Farsus.

The torrent of temptation passed, and a much older man, his years of alluring attractiveness clearly far behind him, stepped up to face Kamak.

“You again,” he said, trying to keep up an inviting facade while faced with Kamak. “Business or pleasure?”

“Business,” Kamak said, to no small relief on the brothel owner’s part.

“You’re the one they’d been waiting for, then,” he said. “You know the way.”

The owner waved them away, and Kamak cut his way through the crowded brothel, followed closely thereafter by his crew. A back hallway contained several smaller rooms, from which a variety of very interesting noises could be heard, and Kamak stopped when he came to the eighth door on the right. He scanned the palm of his hand on a keypad by the door, and then waited.

“Better places for a meeting,” Tooley said. “Can we at least grab some ‘friends’ first, since we’re here?”

“You can do whatever the hell you want on your time with your money,” Kamak said. “This is business.”

The door opened. Corey had been expecting, perhaps, a gaudy bed and some cheap champagne in an ice bucket, but instead he got a staircase. A long one, leading down into a cold darkness.

“Single file,” Kamak said. “I’ll go first.”

Kamak removed a coin-shaped device from his belt, and it began to shed a surprisingly bright light, illuminating their path down the staircase. It was shorter than Corey had initially expected, and they soon reached the bottom, finding themselves in a long, earthy tunnel. Thick, oddly textured tendrils, like the roots of a tree, stretched out on either wall of the tunnel and weaved across the ceilings, branching out into thin strands that then burst into strange, almost fleshy-looking blossoms. The red growths at the end of the tendrils swayed slightly as Corey approached, as if they were following the motions of everyone who walked past.

“What is this?” Corey said, reaching out a hand to touch the strange petals.

“Don’t touch,” Kamak snapped. Corey quickly drew his hand back.

“Question stands, Kamak,” Tooley said. “What the fuck is this?”

“This,” Kamak said, gesturing to the massive network of roots and strange flowers. “Is my contact.”