Godsforsaken

Chapter 19: Debrief

The treasure hoard had been a lot less impressive than it'd looked at first glance. The mountain of mun was decently large, a good six thousand mun, but the magic items were mostly a bust. Weapons, armor and trinkets accumulated magical potential if left in a place rich with mana like a dungeon or a Dark Lord's castle but they'd clearly not been here very long so pretty much everything only qualified as lesser magic items, with two daggers enchanted for sharpness and armor piercing being about the best things there, which I took one of and left the other for Selene to take. The gems and the golden tableware had been more valuable though and after Alisha and I had taken our payment and we'd divvied up the rest the two of us had earned roughly five thousand mun each while Selene had walked away with almost three thousand. Between that, the cockatrice meat from a few days ago, and the sapphires from the rock troll she'd be able to feed her family for decades if they spent the mun wisely.

The simple activity of tallying up the earnings also helped her center herself, but I was sure there was more anguish in her future and even if she hadn't decided to travel by foot I didn't want her to wake up alone the next morning.

As we exited the keep we saw that it had become early afternoon and once we stepped out past the ruined castle wall a rainbow shone down from the sky right in front of us. I saw Alisha peeking around it, trying to spot a pot of gold, but this wasn't that kind of rainbow. It was the Bifrost bridge, the method by which the Aesir traveled to the mortal plane, the equivalent to the beam of light that the Olympians always arrived in.

And sure enough, off the rainbow stepped a beautiful woman. I'd never seen the goddess Freya before but she certainly fit the image I'd had of her. Freya was a goddess of love, lust, and war and it showed. She wore a suit of armor that looked impractical but I knew it wasn't any less protective just because it didn't cover much. The chest plate covered only her chest, leaving her shoulders and her stomach bare. The leggings only covered her lower legs and she wore a short white skirt that accentuated her creamy thighs more than it hid them. She was clad in a white feathered robe and wore long gloves that ran up to her elbows under metal gauntlets. On her back she wore a sword that looked remarkably similar to the one Selene had been given and the shield on her left looked familiar as well. Her apparent age was somewhere around her mid twenties, mature enough to have filled out but not old enough for anything to sag. Come to think of it, that was the age most goddesses appeared to be, a rule mostly broken by mother goddesses like Hera and Brigid who appeared closer to their mid to late thirties.

Freya had a gorgeous face, with lips as full and glistening as Selene's but red as blood rather than pretty pink and blue eyes that would have been beautiful if the expression on them hadn't been so weary. Her hair was wavy and red, hanging down to her bellybutton.

I had expected Selene to be excited about seeing her patron goddess but instead I felt her stiffen next to me.

“My Chosen One, you have done well”, Freya told her. “You fulfilled your quest and I have come to reward you.”

Selene was quiet for a while then asked, her voice a low growl: “What could you possibly give me that would make up for what they did to me?”

I didn't even want to imagine what would have happened if she'd talked to any of the Olympians like that but Freya just looked sad. “I know you are upset about what happened...”, she began but Selene interrupted her.

“You knew that would happen, didn't you? You knew they would torture me before my partners saved me.”

It wasn't a question, just an accusation. And to Freya's credit, she didn't deny it: “Yes. And I'd do it again. One mortal tortured but alive versus the thousands that would have died had the Dark Lord been left alone. A painful price, but one I was willing to pay.”

I punched her. I didn't even make the conscious decision. One moment I was standing next to Selene, thinking how it was always them that decided what price was acceptable but never them that ended up paying that price, and the next moment my fist connected with Freya's left cheek and she rocked sideways.

Oh shit.

I'd never actually struck a god before. I'd always kept to insults and mockery, which forced them to respond with insults, but now that I'd escalated to a physical attack it was her right to respond in kind and there was no way I'd survive the wrath of a goddess of war.

But to my utter shock she did not get angry. She righted herself, then nodded once and said: “That, too, is a fair price for the safety of thousands.” Then she addressed me directly. “Do not think that these are decisions I make lightly, child. They weigh on me. If I could have suffered in her place I would have, but that is not how it works. This pain, meanwhile, was one I was able to take on myself.” Then she turned to Selene and said: “I know that you are furious with me but I hope that, in time, you will be able to see that it was necessary. If you ever feel it in your heart that you can forgive me, reach out to me and I shall make you a paladin. You are already living by all the virtues I expect of mine.” Selene stayed silent and glared at her. “For now, though, I bring you gifts.”

“I don't want them”, Selene told her.

“And you are free never to use them, but I shall give them, nevertheless. As you are no longer a Chosen One, Heimdallr and Thor have revoked your access to their miracles. My ice storm miracle, however, remains yours to use for the rest of your life. The rune that used to activate the lightning miracle will now summon an icicle crash on top of your foes and the rune that used to activate the Gjallarhorn miracle will now sound a war horn that strengthens your allies. It is not as potent as your friend's enhancement miracle but it does affect a whole group. As I said, you are free never to use my gifts but they are still yours. They are the least I can give you for your sacrifice.”

Selene kept staring at her, not reacting to the incredible gifts she'd just been given. She was now essentially a paladin with none of the obligations.

Finally, Freya turned to leave but before she stepped back onto the Bifrost bridge she added: “And keep hold of this man. He was willing to risk a goddess' wrath to defend you.”

Then she was gone and Alisha let out a huge sigh of relief.

**

We had barely managed to make it back to Hero's Rest before nightfall and apparently they truly were used to dealing with Chosen Ones because one look at Selene's new scars and expression and the innkeeper decided not to hold a victory celebration for us.

Dinner was subdued but not unpleasant, though I did notice that Selene ate as though she had been starved for a week and I wondered whether healing miracles burned through fat reserves. After dinner we went to bed immediately. Once again we all slept in the same bed but this time Alisha and me were on either side of Selene, keeping her close. She woke up screaming in the middle of the night but subsided quickly when she realized that she was with us and when she fell asleep again she slept until morning.

The next morning she went to the marketplace and bought a pair of long-sleeved tunics, apparently embarrassed about the scars on her arms.

From Hero's Rest it was a two day trek to get to the closest node in the caravan network which would take us to Urd's Embrace within a day, so we traveled by foot. When it became evening we set up camp a few steps off the path. Selene had been quiet and subdued the whole time. I wasn't sure whether it was better to talk to her about it or to let her brood in peace but finally I compromised and said:

“If you want to talk about what happened, please do. But don't think we're trying to pressure you if you don't, but we're willing to listen.”

She looked at us for a few heartbeats, seeking eye contact with both of us in turn, then nodded gratefully and told her story:

“When I dropped the goblins restrained me and then dosed me with something that made the drug stop working, so I was awake while the two of you were hauled off to the dungeon. The Dark Lord had his orcs tear off my clothes and shackle me to his throne. Then he told me what he was planning to do to me.
“He told me he wanted to have his goblins breed me, to make up for all ones we'd killed on our way”, I swallowed around the lump that had suddenly appeared in my throat but she went on, “but he told me that would be too easy. So he said he'd torture me until I would beg to have them violate me just for the pain to stop. I... I always thought I was tough. I used to be able to take things that made the boys in our village cry, but that... it was terrible. The scars I have, they're all his doing but the bruises, that was the orcs. They kicked me in the gut over and over again. I threw up three times just from the pain.
“I was close to giving up. More than once. I thought that letting the goblins have me couldn't possibly be worse than what they were doing to me. But then... then he told me what he'd do to the two of you.
“He said that once I was broken and a willing sow for his goblins he'd have you killed in front of me. Then he'd feed your meat to me.
“That's what made me hold on. I wanted the two of you to be alright. I was his captive but maybe the two of you could escape. But even so... even though I'd accepted it... part of me was hoping you'd come and save me.” She hiccuped, tears streaming down her face. “And you did. You didn't abandon me, even though you had every right and reason to run, you came for me. You saved me. And not just from the Dark Lord, but also from myself.
“I felt so weak, so powerless, but you freed me. You gave me the chance to take my life back. Even right at the end you didn't kill the Dark Lord. You gave me your sword so I could do it myself.”

I stood up and walked up to her. I knelt down in front of her, cupped her cheek and made her look at me, then said: “I told you, didn't I? I'll always come to save you if you need me.”

She smiled, the first real smile I'd seen from her since I'd kicked down the door to that throne room, and chuckled. Then she said: “Well, now I know you meant it.”

Then she leaned forward and hugged me. I hugged her back and just held her for a while. When she released me, I wiped the tears from her cheeks. Then she stood up and walked over to Alisha and hugged her as well.

After that things felt a lot more relaxed and eventually I pulled out a little purple bottle.

“What's that?”, Alisha asked.

“Sleeping drops”, I said. “Take one and you sleep like a rock for four hours but feel as rested as if you've had a full night's sleep.”

“Why haven't we used those before?”, Alisha asked.

“They're expensive and we never needed them”, I explained. “They're best for when you need to sleep in two shifts.”

Selene cocked her head to the side. “But we have three people here.”

I shrugged. “I thought you might want a full night's sleep.” To be precise, I'd wanted to make sure she didn't need to spend three hours with nothing but her own thoughts for company.

“And have you two stay up longer for it?”, she asked. “We're traveling together, mister, so I'll take my shift like a big girl.”

“Alright, if you want to”, I said.

“I do, now go to bed, you two”, she told us.

Three hours later Selene woke me up with a gentle kiss. Only on the cheek, but still.

My shift came and went with nothing happening. Well, almost nothing. I saw that white something out of the corner of my eye again a few times, but again none of my instincts were warning me. Three hours later I woke up Alisha with a kiss on her forehead and quickly fell asleep to the sound of her preparing the pot of oatmeal for breakfast.

Over breakfast we discussed our plans. We'd reach the travel node, a small town named Wayward that was built around a crossroads, by late afternoon. There we would overnight and then hitch a ride for Selene's hometown of Urd's Embrace in the morning.

Out of the blue, Alisha said: “I know this is sudden, but while I slept my goddess told me she wants to speak to me.”

I cocked my head to the side. “What do you mean? Doesn't she always talk to you?”

She shook her head. “No. We do speak to our gods on a regular basis, usually once a week, but the communion takes several hours and at least my goddess doesn't like to incapacitate her clerics like that while they are on a quest, so she wanted to wait until my quest was over. Well, our quest is over now so she wants to speak to me. I assume with all the fighting we've been doing that she'll reward me with new miracles and then tell me how to continue my journey from here on.”

“Is that bad?”, I asked.

“Not at all. But it does mean I'll need a few hours undisturbed. For example”, she said and meaningfully glanced between Selene and me, “I can commune with her tonight and the two of you can... spend some time together.”

It was gratifying to see that Selene blushed as hard as I thought I did and her mouth working soundlessly was really rather amusing as well.

**

The journey to Wayward was surprisingly uneventful. We were walking along a decently traveled road, which I thought someone would use as an opportunity to waylay travelers, but apparently the division of the royal guard in Wayward kept the roads well clear of bandits and we made it there without incident. Well, except that I kept catching that white shape looking at me from behind trees. I was starting to get worried, even though my gut kept telling me it was nothing to worry about.

Wayward was built of mostly wooden houses. The only stone constructions were the royal guard's barracks and the bathhouse. There were dozens such tiny towns dotted around the kingdom. Some thought the travel nodes were placed in such towns for a reason, but those people had it backwards. These towns were built around the travel nodes, the large marketplaces sprouting up where lots of traffic was coming through and eventually these crossroads and marketplaces evolved into small towns. Most of them had few sources of water, either from a viaduct or from wells in the village center, as the travel network was built in such a way as to connect between the large cities the fastest way possible and not as to be close to the water, where most natural villages were built. In the case of Wayward, a viaduct provided it with water from the mountain the Dark Lord's castle had been located next to.

Like most of these crossroads towns, Wayward had only a single inn and they charged an arm and a leg because they could. Even though she'd fulfilled her quest Selene could have gotten us the Chosen One discount if she'd worn her armor but ever since the meeting with Freya she stubbornly refused to put the armor on again and so we were forced to pay the normal price for everything. I wasn't going to argue with her about it, though. I understood where she was coming from perfectly. And besides, we had more than enough mun to pay whatever they wanted for lodging. Once in our room we spent some time cleaning and grooming, something we'd had to neglect for most of our journey.

Dinner was slow-cooked roast bear, brushed with honey and served with a salad with a tart mustard dressing. Bear meat was extraordinarily greasy, but the slow and low cooking had rendered most of the fat out, making it lip-smacking and sticky sweet, which the salad was a perfect complement to.

The closer we got to emptying our plates, the more nervous Selene was getting, which just didn't sit well with me. When the three of us retired to our room Alisha went to the little side room that held the second bed, clearly meant for a single child, and sat down on it cross-legged. A second later a similar circle to the one that surrounded her when she was using her miracles appeared around her and she began to speak to someone, presumably her goddess. I couldn't say for sure because no sound penetrated the circle.