Goddess Collector: Every Hole is a Goal

Shout-out to NoQuestion, Glaistig Uaine, TR1O, and Xavier Contreras for support.

Read advance chapters @

Patre on.com/fanharem

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"What's the big idea?! First, you beg me to teach you and when I'm finally persuaded, you pull invisibility out of your hole and leave me waiting for days! Have you no grace of a student and the humbleness with which you should treat your master is all but lost on you?"

Arms crossed and bewitching eyes glaring daggers at Nik. Her curvaceous figure present under the street lamp which flickered under the emanating magical energy.

"Not to mention... that slimy whore! These aren't your pics!" Loki threw a small album on the ground, her shoulders trembling with fury, "Speak, where is he? I'll rip his cock out and turn him into a bitch he deserves!"

Already on the verge of getting a boner... after days of continuous 'sessions', Nik coughed.

"As much as I would like to... watch that show, I don't get why you would even want the pictures of my childhood."

Only two days are left until Loki's master plan which would prove the destruction of the city and force Thor to return and confront him. Ordinarily, wars would not elicit the interests of gods but when terrifying beings that pose as the backers of the Chitauri Army are considered, any god would feel some form of interest.

"For this!"

As if swept by the wind, the panels of the album turned and revealed images of a fair-skinned child thoroughly changed with the help of a permanent marker. Some depicting various levels of beard and mustache while a few...

"Ugh... oh my god, what kind of mind do you have to try and do this?" Nik groaned.

"See? Imagine my frustration when I finally realized that none of them were you. I had one of my enslaved associates search this pic on this 'net' and... well, it is filled with these kinds of images."

"What did this guy search along with the picture?" Nik inquired with a grim expression.

"Small breathtaking babies, why?"

"Did he get an erection?" Nik didn't reply and continued his inquiry.

"Does it matter? Well, this guy is an old one and while many get their willy iron-willed at the sight of my charismatic figure, this one was a slow learner... he did get an erection once I got close to him as we both looked at the images."

Once Loki said these words out loud, her mind turned and she seemed to have connected the dots while Nik's expression turned even worse.

"Ew!" both of them exclaimed simultaneously.

After a few minutes of calming down, the two sat on an unremarkable bench as they remained silent for a while.

"About Ray... the guy whose cock you want to rip off, I mean, he said he's going to hell," Nik finally spoke up.

"Which one?" Loki inquired curiously.

"How many hells are there? 'The' hell." Nik looked at Loki with a strange expression.

"Well, Hell is just another dimension where souls escape to. There are many such dimensions connected to Midgard. I know four of these hells, and one of them will be your place of arrival. Oh, about that, I still haven't explained to you the plan right?" Loki cackled, instantly forgetting about Ray for the time being.

"The moment I use the tesseract to invite the Chitauri army, Heimdall will be compelled to send Thor back. By the way, you will have to remove this mark. It's useful, but I need to expose myself to Asgard."

Saying so, the sleeve of her right hand disappeared, revealing a dark red rune mark on her slender arm as it seemed to suck in all form of presence around her.

"Did you feel any discomfort with the mark?" Nik inquired. He has always been testing new runes. In Asmodeus' words, no inscription master ever relies on similar runes more than ten times. And in this world filled with countless runes, the only Inscriptionists who dare to use new runes are the ones that can enjoy the profession.

Of course, Nik still wasn't considered someone of such respect and value since he had too little of an experience in Asmodeus' eyes.

"Not really. Anyway, once the Chitauri Army descends, I suggest you start settling your affairs on the planet. You'll have to make my... daughter your ally. Only then will you be able to get my two sons freed up and... regarding my half-sister, I suggest that we try to invade her realm, the tenth realm, before eyeing Asgard."

Loki grinned.

"This isn't a plan at all... this is just you delegating tasks of making allies on me and... well, I think you'll be resting all this while."

"If you consider being in jail a rest, then sure."

Nik frowned but seeing him in such a state, Loki chuckled, "I thought a bit about what you said to me... about me just trying to stick it up in dad's butt by being the queen of Asgard. Well, that does seem to be the case. However, if we succeed, I do plan to leave the realm for good and with their treasures at that... to enjoy life, you know. Messing with the same family members for more than a thousand years, well, it's bound to lose its flavor."

Nik heard her and didn't care about it. He was deeply aware that once he helps Loki in plundering the Asgard, he will be officially an enemy of gods. Chased and hunted till his last breath. Of course, this would disturb him if he were to live here forever but he wasn't a denizen of this universe. In fact, the threat of Loki ditching him midway was much less than him ditching Loki for good.

"Still, to me, you're just saying words that don't mean much. How can I travel realms? How can I enter Angela's world? And... what's the deal with your daughter?"

Nik wasn't surprised that someone can have a kid. It's not like he had patented the act of breeding.

"What's the deal with my daughter?" Loki inquired with a furrow, "Why do you ask that?"

"Ehm... for the purpose of completion of your task? I have no idea who your daughter is, why should I persuade her into an Alliance, and how she'll be useful."

Coughing softly, Loki smiled with a bit of a prideful expression, "It's hard to explain... but when you enter Hel, just say these words— Your... mommy sent me. Since she is the current ruler of Hel, she will definitely hear you and for the rest, I hope I'm leaving my daughter in capable hands!" Loki completely understood Nik's intentions. If it wasn't for such devious abilities that resonated with Loki's perversion, she wouldn't have been interested in Nik in the first place.

Revealing a similar smile, Nik nodded.

"Hehe..." Both of them chuckled darkly.

"Before I'm fetched away by my brother, I will leave you with three transportation devices. One is for Hel, the other is for the Tenth realm— Heven, and finally, the last is for Asgard. While creating the spell, I found Heven restricted by my father's odinforce but this power has a catch and it weakens when he's forced into a sleep by his own power. So, given my father's situation, you might find the travel to Heven a little discomforting but nothing you cannot handle." She patted Nik's arm with a hint of amazement, "And you seem to have grown a bit more fearsome than we last met."

"Just a little," Nik chuckled.

"I hope arrogance will not fail your lower 'pride.' Because, once we conquer Asgard, this queen will require much-awaited 'rest.'"

"Well, invasions can definitely be stressful," Nik nodded.

"Anyway," Loki changed the topic, "Do I still have to teach you magic? Your lack of discipline and punctuality on the matter suggests that my assistance is no longer needed on the matter. Did you apprentice yourself to Sorcerer Supreme already?"

"Nah. He's with Ray... probably in Hell. Again, I don't know which one."

"Given his taste... I don't think it's the Hel I'm planning to send you in," Loki smiled.

"Since our little conference is concluded, I should head back," Nik stood up.

"Before that, I would like my scepter back. Without it, controlling the army is anything but easy," Loki suddenly spoke up, "I have been a loyal ally till now so I think, I am capable of your trust, right?"

Her dark, glimmering gaze peered into Nik with a hint of expectation. As if she was thirsting to hear a few magical words.

"Sure," Nik smiled, "But... the scepter is broken."

"I beg your pardon."

"You've been pardoned."

"Did you break the scepter needed to keep the Chitauri Army in my command?" Loki inquired with a strange expression, "Please tell me that you didn't just break the first part of the plan," she growled softly.

"Uhm... well, will this work?" Nik inquired, a golden scepter appearing in his hand but seeing the striking loss of the blue gem which Loki was continuously commanded to not lose by 'them'... she couldn't help but gulp.

"Where's the stone, Nik? The source of energy which powered the gem."

"It's... destroyed," he replied truthfully. The blue cover of the infinity stone was truly destroyed. "However, it was an accident. As it turns out, I'm a mess and things can break easily in a mess..."

"You don't say..." Loki's expression turned gloomier, "Curses! Nik, why? You had one job! Even if you kept my weapon away from me, at the very least, don't break it!" Loki stomped her foot and stood up with a furious expression. Daggers manifesting in her hands.

"Come on, I'm sure, one day, we'll look back to this situation and just laugh it off," Nik tried to persuade, however, Loki wasn't willing to concede, "Stop with your jokes and take this seriously! Gosh! I. cannot. do. shit. without. an. army!"

Both of them grew silent once again.

"Do we really need an army?" Nik inquired quite politely.

Stunned, Loki's heart grew cold, "Of course, we do. Without an army behind our backs, how can we look stunning?" She hissed.

'Well, so we don't actually need an Army... then why the fuck would she harp about an army till now?' Nik grew confused. He considered himself a little more empathetic of the opposite gender, given his experience and teaching but Loki seemed to be a little too strange. As a man and as a woman, Loki did not fit in either of these categories and general thought processes, proving herself to be a gender in her own.

"Well, I'll just summon the army and hide. It's not like I have to clean my mess," Loki sighed.

"Wait, let's start with your motivation, damnit. I'm already feeling doubtful considering our situation," Nik mumbled and pulled Loki on the seat once again.

"Why? Our plan is airtight!" She smirked, already imagining a crown on her head while she will make the ballads sing her praises. Queen of Asgard, the Vanquisher of Mighty Thor, and the Conqueror of the All-Father Odin!

"We don't have a plan. Whatever we are doing... it's not part of the plan," Nik felt his patience tested with Loki. Despite her cunning nature, Loki loved to leave the details to the devil, more than happy to free ball her plan of action to get the greatest kick out of her adventures.

"Sure we do. I get caught and become the key for you to use the spatial transportation spells and infiltrate Asgard once you get my daughter under a leash. Before that, go to Heven. Alright, I admit that this part is more dependent on fate than cold rationality... but I do recall reading that the fabled Heven has a low number of men and those who can be considered 'good' are simply too rare. Go there and tame an army of Angels to be your personal Valkyries! Then Invade!"

Nik's expression turned dark.

Yes, they did not have a plan.

"No, you'll tag along," Nik groaned, "Or, I'll get caught alongside you. Either way, I'm not going to be the one to work all the way and let you just sit around and play a battle of words with your family."

"How would we do that? Without removing this rune of yours, I cannot work my magic properly. If Heimdall sees me, it's the same as getting caught here," Loki sighed, "Oh, great Tamer. I understand your woes of parting with me but you must be strong. My body will remain warm in your thought and expect you to arrive in the realm of gods victorious."

Loki smiled mischievously.

However, mischief's weakness has always been stubbornness and cold rationality.

"No," Nik cleared his throat, "If you're serious about invading Asgard, we tag along. That's final. And O' Goddess, I understand that your body will remain warm but my mind will turn cold after our parting... who knows, your warm body might not actually get the chance to enjoy a night of victorious passion. So, I recommend, stick together and we'll share plenty parties over small victories."

Loki narrowed her gaze.

"What if I insist on leaving alone?"

"Go ahead. It's not like we began fighting against Asgard," Nik shrugged.

"Curses..." Loki mumbled, "If it wasn't for your sexual prowess, do you understand that I would have killed you by now," she growled, completely distressed.

"Well, I don't care about that. But... have you been watching the television?" Nik inquired.

"Who doesn't?" Loki snorted.

"Aside from Angela, I have more friends."

"Oooh~ which kind?" Loki chuckled with a lascivious grin.

"The kind you don't have to bother with," Nik snorted.

"How about I set-up a meeting tomorrow? It'll give me enough time to bring all of them together and you can see that... we might not even need more allies."

"Against Odin, we will always need more allies. But sure, I suppose I can spare you and your friends a few minutes of my life."

"You do remember screaming and asking for more back then, don't you?" Nik inquired strangely.

"Oh, hush now. No woman adores a braggart. Not to mention, a single favorable night is the least I can expect from a man of your nature," Loki leaned forward, her lips growing extremely close to Nik's as he narrowed his gaze.

Seeing him unmoved, Loki pecked his chin instead and whispered, "See? This is the expression I'm talking about. Keep it up, and be more punctual from now and I might melt in your arms one of these days."

Snickering, she vanished from the bench completely but Nik only sighed.

"And keep playing these tricks often and you'll die single!"