Chapter 217: Emotional rift?
Contrary to the cultural shock I went through after crossing the barrier, the first part of our trip into the world of cultivators was pretty void of any further excitements.
'Heck, it would be hard to get excited over anything with this kind of a mood hanging over our heads!' I thought as we toured down the street, heading in the direction only Chihiro knew beforehand.
Even though this was both mine and Claire's first time in the spiritual part of the world, right now, we could both hardly care. And while Claire had quite a lot of issues on her mind, from me suddenly overtaking her in cultivation to the question of how she was supposed to go and face her mother… she wasn't the only one struggling to deal with her issues.
I, on my own, couldn't help but keep mentally struggling over the issue of just how I was supposed to address the matter of my unexpected advancement.
Normally, according to all laws of logic and reason, this would be a joyous occasion. And judging by the reaction of the guards and even Chihiro himself, an occasion worthy of a grand celebration, with how this kind of breakthrough wasn't something one could just… earn.
But for how great it was supposed to be, it put me in a tough spot of not knowing how I was supposed to deal with the aftermath.
'Maybe I should just focus on learning as much as I can from the experience so that I can later help Claire advance and match my level?' I finally arrived at the kind of conclusion to my struggles that offered some sort of positive end result.
After all, what else could be the solution to Claire feeling bad over being left behind in terms of cultivation if not doing my best to help her catch up?
"Are we there yet?" Prompted by the idea in my head, I asked, not lost on the irony of how this great moment of pure tourism, where I could finally witness the world as it was hundreds of years ago with my very own eyes, ultimately all boiled down to me worrying about my relationship.
"By there, where do you mean, exactly?" Chihiro, either lost in his own thoughts or simply eager to tease me, asked.
"Wherever it is that we are heading to," I rolled my eyes as I replied. "Given my advancement, I think it would be for the best if I could just get somewhere silent to cultivate so I can solidify my gains and ensure my cultivation won't deviate for some stupid reason."
This sentence was just enough to elicit a glare from Claire, momentarily giving her something to focus all of her negative emotions on.
Still, while her burning glare hurt me on a physical level… in a sense, it was all a part of the process of healing our relationship.
"If you are talking about the clan's grounds where we will reunite with Leila, then we are still ways off," Chihiro looked at me for a short moment before averting his eyes and giving out his reply. "It would be an impossible task for us to reach it on the day we crossed over, so for today, I've planned to just get some rest at one of the inns, only setting out for the clan's grounds on tomorrow's morning."
"Let me reiterate my question then," this time I was the one rolling my eyes. "How long until we get to the inn?"
"Are you that eager to get even more ahead of me?" Claire asked, her voice a mix of reluctance, grief, and some hints of anger.
"No, not at all," I shook my head, having absolutely no reason to hide my true motives from her. "I just figured the sooner I figure the ins and outs of my breakthrough, the sooner I will be able to share my findings with you and do my best to help you advance."
Claire's eyes twitched a little, only for her to then look away.
"Tim, I…" she hesitated, only to then tighten her hands into fists as she forced her face to move back, manually steering her eyes towards my face. "I understand that you can see how I feel, and I really appreciate your willingness to help me out, but…"
Before she could finish, Chihiro suddenly appeared between us, not only separating the two of us physically with his own torso but also going as far as to bring his hands down on our shoulders.
"What she is trying to say is, she already feels bad being left behind, but if she were to accept your help, this feeling of inadequacy, rather than going away with her advancement, would only develop further."
I raised my eyes and looked slightly to the side, at the confident and somewhat somber look on Chihiro's face, only to then steer my eyes down and lean forward a bit so that I could look beyond the man's chest and at Claire's face hidden behind the man's torso.
"Is that true?" Experience exclusive tales on M-V-L
Squinting my eyes, I kept my stare on the girl for a few moments, only to then pull back when the task of walking while leaned in proved to be a little bit too demanding for me to keep it up for long.
"I…" Claire attempted to reply, only to cut her sentence short as she lowered her eyes and pinned them on her own feet. "I'm not really sure. Honestly, I'm not sure how I'm supposed to feel about it all right now. So," she hesitated again, "while I appreciate how much you are thinking about me, right now…?"
Claire shook her head, as if giving up on the whole issue.
"Right now, all I need is just some peace of mind and silence so that I can sort all my feelings out. Once I'm done with that, I won't leave you hanging, I promise, but until then…"
As I leaned forward again, I just managed to catch the moment Claire pressed her lips into a thin line before looking away, as if embarrassed by how she couldn't process all those feelings of hers right on the spot.
"Until then, I don't think there is any point in us talking."