Gift of the Unicorn

It was weird being back in the forest without a bow. Iseut’s hands felt empty as she followed Aldith down a narrow path through the trees. The forest was alive with the rustling and chirping of birds. All of Iseut’s senses were automatically perked up like she was on a hunt.

It felt good to be back home.

“We’ll stop here,” Aldith said quietly, leading Iseut into a small clearing, “Sit in the middle.”

Iseut nodded and knelt into an uncomfortable seated position where Aldith indicated. Aldith sat down a short distance in front of Iseut. It made Iseut squirm a little.

“Close your eyes and relax every muscle.” Iseut obeyed. “Breathe in and out slowly for a few minutes. Don’t focus on any sound in particular. You need to reach an altered state of consciousness, and it’s going to be a little difficult.”

Some time passed. Iseut felt her body twitch and shift. Her mind was racing, no matter how much she tried to keep herself calm. She was in the wild, and her body wanted to hunt.

“Focus on my voice,” Aldith droned, “You need to relax your body and mind, open yourself up. Let nature in. Breathe the village out. Breathe in the natural world.”

Iseut felt herself dozing off. She had to let nature in. The sound of the birds. The scent of the wind. The feel of the grass and earth beneath her.

“Feel the heartbeat of the forest.”

She was floating in space.

“Iseut, open your eyes.”

Iseut obeyed, still dozed.

“How do you feel?” Aldith asked.

“This is… different.”

“Hold out your hand.”

Iseut obeyed, and Aldith scooted closer. From her cupped hands, she dropped a tiny lizard into Iseut’s open palm. It stayed there, staring up at Iseut.

Aldith continued, “You and I are both part of nature. We are part of the earth, the river, the wind, and of fire. Every living being is connected to us through magic. And as practitioners of magic, we have both power to bend nature and a responsibility to care for it. Do you understand?”

“Yes,” Iseut said, but she felt like she was speaking through molasses.

“Right now, you are feeling that connection more strongly than you have ever felt it in your entire life. This is what you will draw on to learn how to use magic. Now, close your eyes and count upward to ten.”

When Iseut was finished, she blinked and shook her head. The feeling was gone. Whatever had just happened, it was over now. She lowered her hand and the lizard jumped from her palm and scurried away.

Aldith helped Iseut to her feet and asked, “How do you feel?”

“I feel… changed?” Iseut replied.

Her mentor nodded sagely, continuing, “Once a day, either in the morning or evening, I need you to sit down and enter a meditative state again. It won’t be as deep without me to guide you, but it’s important that you learn how to do this quickly and consistently.”

“I’ll do my best,” Iseut promised.

“There is another thing,” Aldith said, beginning the walk back, “Normally, the town only has one witch and one apprentice. I don’t know what you’re planning to do, whether you’re going to return to hunting or do something else, but I think it would be a good idea for you to also officially take on an apprenticeship as a witch instead of merely doing this to occupy your time.”

“Oh?”

The thought definitely appealed to Iseut.

Aldith continued, “As unlikely as it is, there is a possibility that something unfortunate may befall Stace that would prevent her from taking over when I retire. In that case, it would be good to have someone experienced who could take my place. Otherwise, the town would be left helpless.”

Iseut frowned. That was morbid. Did Aldith really think that something bad was going to happen to Stace?

“Is that really necessary?” she asked.

“Necessary? I suppose not,” Aldith replied, pushing aside a low-hanging branch for Iseut to pass by, “But just in case, it would be a big help for you to learn fully how to be a witch. Normally I couldn’t justify taking on a second apprentice, but if you were fulfilling an important role…”

A smile tugged at Iseut’s lips as she understood.

“I’d be honored to,” she replied.

They reached the edge of the forest and Aldith bid her goodbye. Iseut couldn’t stop smiling as she headed toward the town gate. Aldith wasn’t at all what Iseut had thought she’d be. There was a wisdom and cleverness to the owl lady that Iseut hadn’t anticipated.

As she got into town, though, Iseut’s mood started to slip. Now that she was surrounded by people, it was hard to ignore that there was more than just Aldith and Stace to consider. Her nerves were frayed. She started wringing her hands and picked up her pace.

“I want to stay a woman,” she thought, “I want to be a witch. That’s all I know for sure, but I know it’s true.”

But passing the faces of strangers and loose acquaintances, she wondered how many of them she could trust. Would this person believe her? Would that person accept her? Everyone knew what had happened to her, but they all believed she was going to go back to normal.

And her father…

“I’ll figure this out,” she tried to assure herself, but her palms were sweaty and her breathing irregular.

It was both forever and too soon that she found herself outside the tavern again. With a deep breath, Iseut entered into the din and dim and started scanning for Morris. She found him at the counter with two mugs and managed to smile ever so softly.

“Am I late?” she asked, sitting down next to him.

“I’m early, actually,” Morris replied, “I ordered you a drink. The bartender is cute, by the way. Were you helping the tailor?”

“Hamon? No, I was… learning how to repair my bow… with Ro.”

Did she want to tell Morris that she was learning magic? Would he make fun of her? Or would he just think that was weird too? Iseut took a drink so she didn’t have to say anything.

Morris began, “I saw a hawk out hunting yesterday, and it made me think of you.”

“Oh?” Iseut asked, heart fluttering.

“It was eating a snake.”

“Ew! That’s gross, Morris.”

She chuckled, but Morris scowled.

“Don’t get soft on me, now,” he mumbled, “You’ve seen worse.”

“Yeah, I guess so. Who are you hunting with now since I’m not there, by the way?”

“I’m paired up with Judd,” he replied, “We alternate who hunts with Rohesia so everyone has a partner."

“You’re spending a lot of time with Judd, then. I’m going to get jealous,” Iseut said.

Morris snickered at that.

“He’s not as good as you. Don’t worry. I don’t want to stay paired with him when you get back.”

“Yeah, I’d rather spend time with me instead of him, too. I’m more attractive anyway.”

Morris laughed, but Iseut had to bite her tongue. She knew Morris well, and he was clearly growing more comfortable around her like this. But it wasn’t time to tell him her true feelings yet. He didn’t see her like that. It would take more time.

Not that she didn’t have enough time. With Aldith on her side, Iseut had no doubt that she was going to stay a woman. Even if nobody else knew it, yet, the thought helped to keep her calm. There was actually a possibility that she and Morris could be together now.

“Can I trust him,” she thought, “to be one of the first to know?”

Morris led the conversation for a while. Iseut was content to let him talk and simply nod along. If he couldn’t tell from her soft expression that she was deeply infatuated, he really was going to need it spelled out for him. Back when Iseut had friends who were women, they’d talked about how clueless guys could be, and she’d never understood at the time.

“So,” she began, “It seems like I’m going to be stuck like this for a little longer than we thought.”

She held her breath while waiting for Morris to reply. After a moment, he scowled.

“Why?” he demanded.

“Aldith is having trouble figuring out how to track down a unicorn, especially if it’s left the area.” She gulped. “Don’t worry. I’m sure she’ll come up with something. But I might be like this for a while.”

“She should put all her focus on fixing you.”

“You sound like my father,” Iseut muttered, heart sinking.

“The sooner you get fixed, the sooner everything will be alright,” Morris said, “Don’t you want things back to normal?”

“Yeah, of course.”

She buried herself in her drink. Why was she such a coward? Iseut couldn’t hide the truth forever. Morris would know soon enough.

The conversation limped along, but Iseut could sense that it was over. She finished her drink and made an excuse about needing to help Hamon. Morris bid her goodbye, but it was a gruff goodbye.

“This isn’t going to end well,” Iseut told herself on the walk back to Rohesia’s house.

Morris was her best friend. They’d known each other for most of Iseut’s life. He should want to stay friends no matter what, right? But he hadn’t seemed disappointed to learn that Iseut might stay a woman, he’d seemed angry.

Could their friendship actually be saved if she chose to stay like this?

In the morning, Iseut trudged along with Rohesia back to the archery range and took her normal spot in front of the target. Iseut was definitely getting better. Her arms didn’t hurt as much and she was was consistently hitting the target, even if not the middle.

“Faster,” Rohesia told her, “The more you think about it, the more likely you are to screw up. Let your hunter’s instincts guide you.”

Iseut took a deep breath. All her focus was on the target. She could feel her sight and hearing heighten. Her breathing was smooth and slow. Iseut nocked an arrow and aimed it at the heart of the target. In her mind, she pictured a deer—

Her fingers slipped and the arrow flew from her bow before she was ready, veering off course. The string snapped and cut the skin on her fingers. Iseut cursed and shook out her hand to cope with the pain.

“What’s wrong?” Rohesia asked.

“I’m fine,” Iseut insisted.

She nocked another arrow and took a deep breath. Iseut tried to picture another animal in her head as she took aim, but her hand was shaking. She’d killed animals before. She knew what they looked like dead. She remembered the blank expression a deer had when you dragged its body back to town.

What was wrong with her? She imagined being out in the woods with her bow, sitting down in an empty clearing. A deer would come up to her and start grazing nearby. Iseut would reach out a hand and pat the animal on the neck, feeling the connection they had.

“Aldith, what did you do to me?” she asked quietly.

“Come on!” Rohesia cried, “Shoot it! No animal is going to wait that long for you!”

Iseut took the shot. It landed on the edge of the target. Iseut lowered her bow and shook her head.

“Dammit, Randel!” Rohesia stormed up to her. “Why can’t you get this?!”

“I’m sorry!” Iseut cried, “I’m doing my best. I just… I don’t know why I’m not as good as I used to be.”

“I know why,” Rohesia muttered, “I can’t believe this. I wouldn’t have expected this from you of all people.”

“What?!” Iseut demanded.

Rohesia turned away and continued, “You just think that women are weak, don’t you? And now that you’re a woman, you’re giving into that weakness and letting it control your life.”

Iseut cried, “What?! I don’t understand what you’re talking about.”

Rohesia snorted.

“You never had any problem hunting before the transformation,” she continued, “And you’ve had enough time to get back to your normal skill level. If you’re not, it must be some choice on your part.”

Iseut clenched her bow tightly in her hands and retorted, “That’s not fair! I’ve been dealing with a lot! And it’s been difficult!”

“But this is your job!” Rohesia reminded her, “Why is it not your main focus? If you’re going to give up, just give up already and spare me the time I’m wasting on you!”

When she was done, Rohesia was breathing heavily. Iseut could barely see through the tears welling up in her eyes. She was clenching her bow so hard that she thought it might break.

Rohesia continued, “Maybe this was a mistake. Once you’re back to being a man, you’ll be able to shoot again and everything can go back to normal.”

Iseut nodded. She blinked and tears ran down her face. She didn’t have it in her to tell Rohesia the truth. Ro wouldn’t support her any more than Morris would.

“You’re right,” she said, “I’m done trying to force myself to be good at something that isn’t right for me.”

She could see Rohesia’s jaw tighten. Rohesia shook her head and turned away, storming off. Iseut was left alone on the archery field. She turned briefly to glance at the woods, then down to the bow in her hands.

Maybe she should snap it in half. Maybe Iseut should be done with this for good. But what else was she going to do? Iseut was a hunter. That was her role.

“How did my life get so hard?” she asked herself.

Iseut made it to Hamon’s workshop much earlier than he expected her, but he let her in anyway.

“Are you well?” he asked.

“I’m fine,” she lied.

Hamon didn’t press her any further. They started working together, and after a few minutes Iseut had calmed down quite a bit. Working with fabrics was relaxing, and Hamon allowed her to even work with the needle for a little bit.

“Are you feeling better?” he asked her.

“Yeah, I am,” she admitted sheepishly.

“Will you tell me what was wrong?”

Iseut frowned.

Hamon continued, “It’s clear that something is upsetting you. You don’t have to tell me, but it won’t get better if you keep it all to yourself.”

“You’re right,” Iseut said, “I’m just not sure who I can trust with it…”

“That’s perfectly—”

Iseut blurted out, “I want to stay a woman and I’m afraid nobody will let me!”

Her heart was in her throat, and Iseut gulped. Hamon smiled softly and nodded.

“I thought as much.”

“You did?”

Hamon nodded and replied, “You seemed content in a way that I wouldn’t have been in your situation.”

Iseut felt her face burn, and mumbled, “I guess that’s true.”

“Do you want to try on your dress?”

Iseut gasped.

“It’s done?!” she asked.

Hamon nodded.

He was an excellent tailor. The dress fit perfectly. Iseut stood in front of the mirror, turning around and examining it from every possible angle. She thought she looked like a bluebird.

“It’s beautiful,” she said.

“In my experience,” Hamon said, “An outfit is only as beautiful as the person wearing it.”

Iseut was beaming. Unfortunately, she had to take the dress off. Hamon wrapped it up in paper so she could take it with her. Iseut thanked him profusely, and Hamon insisted that it was his pleasure.

She met Stace at the tavern, still clutching the package to her chest gingerly. Stace didn’t ask about the package or Iseut’s bow, which Iseut was grateful for. After the events of the day, she needed to relax and not think too much about anything in particular.

“I could use a drink,” she admitted, “I’m going to be a hardcore drunk by the end of the month.”

“Don’t let me stop you,” Stace replied, taking a bite of her food. Then, in a low voice, she added, “How are you adjusting to thinking of yourself as a real woman?”

“It’s kind of a relief,” Iseut told her, “Everything hasn’t magically fallen into place, but it’s starting to sink in that this is my life now. I feel like I can hold my head up higher. Did the unicorn do this to me? Change me so I’d want to be a girl?

Stace asked, “Do you feel like that’s what happened?”

Iseut squirmed a little in her seat and replied, “I don’t know…”

“Don’t worry, we’ll figure it out.”

Stace placed a supportive hand on Iseut’s arm and squeezed. Iseut replied with a soft smile, and to her surprise Stace’s expression faltered. She removed her hand and looked down into her food.

“There’s something I have to ask you,” she said quietly.

“Hm?”

“Are you… still attracted to women?”

Iseut’s mouth felt dry. She was pretty sure that she didn’t want this secret to get out. But this was Stace. Stace was trustworthy. And it was clear that she was a little uncomfortable not knowing if Iseut was attracted to her or not.

“See, about that,” she said slowly, fiddling with her hands, “The truth is that I’ve… never been attracted to women.”

“Oh…”

Iseut’s voice was almost a whisper as she concluded, “Because I’ve only ever been attracted to men.”

Stace’s eyes widened and she gaped, “Oh. Oh… I wish I’d known that earlier. I was worried over nothing.”

“I’m sorry. I just thought it would make things awkward between me and the other guys, so I never talked about it.”

“Well, it means we don’t have to worry about making each other uncomfortable, then.” She gave Iseut a toothy grin. “I’ve been holding back a little because I thought you might think I was interested.”

Iseut chuckled. She hadn’t seen this side of Stace before.

“I’m lucky Aldith asked you to shepherd me around for a bit,” she said, “I’d be lost right now without you.”

“It turned out better than I thought it would,” Stace admitted, “By the way, I spoke to my friends. They want to meet with you, tomorrow.”

“That’s wonderful!” Iseut cried, nearly jumping to her feet with excitement, “I can’t wait to meet them.”

“Do you still need that drink, then?” Stace asked playfully.

Iseut snorted and replied, “Yes, please. I’ve got to talk to Rohesia tonight and I need some courage beforehand.”