Genshin Impact: This Trainee Fatui Harbinger is Too Unreliable

The Next Morning

In the end, Luo Qing's hopes of sharing a bed with Rosalyne remained unfulfilled. His survival instincts kicked in just before her patience reached its breaking point, and he made a hasty exit.

Of course, if he hadn't known the whereabouts of Rex Lapis, Rosalyne might very well have incinerated him on the spot.

Luo Qing waited for a while in the hotel lobby. Soon enough, Rosalyne appeared, dressed in a simple, understated outfit, a far cry from the ornate dress she had worn the night before.

"Lead the way, and I hope you're not trying to deceive me," Rosalyne said coldly.

She was the ultimate purist, and if Luo Qing weren't her colleague, who happened to know Morax's location, she would've burned him to ashes for his offhand remarks.

"Of course not. Just follow me," Luo Qing replied with a grin, paying no mind to Rosalyne's icy expression.

They walked together through the streets of Liyue until they arrived at the front of the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor. Its doors were tightly shut, and aside from the commission board outside, the entrance was deserted.

"Oh? This is the place? Looks like no one's here," Rosalyne said, arms crossed, giving Luo Qing a dangerous look that practically screamed: You better have a good explanation, or I'll turn you to ash.

"Relax, Lady Rosalyne. No need to rush," Luo Qing said calmly, as if expecting her skepticism.

He stepped up to the commission board and picked up a small wooden plaque. The front was blank, ready for a message, but the back bore a playful inscription in a cutesy font: "Buy One Stele, Get One Free."

It was one of the quirky marketing strategies of a certain young Funeral Parlor Director.

Luo Qing took a deep breath, raised his fist, and pounded on the door. He shouted:

"Director Hu! Time to wake up and open for business!"

According to Natalia's gossip, if the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor was closed in the morning, it was likely because Hu Tao, the Director, was still sleeping in. A little "wake-up call" would usually do the trick.

After a few heavy knocks, Luo Qing heard hurried footsteps from the other side of the door, accompanied by the sound of things being knocked over.

"Ugh... who's in such a rush to set off?"

Hu Tao opened the door, rubbing her eyes. In her haste to answer the door, she was still half-dressed: one of her socks was only pulled halfway up her ankle, and her crimson collar was unbuttoned, revealing her pale neck and collarbone. Even her oversized hat was askew, several stray strands of hair poking out.

When her eyes finally focused, revealing those plum blossom irises, Luo Qing's heart skipped a beat.

Too cute. I...

"Director Hu, we have a commission. We'd like to speak with your consultant, Zhongli," Luo Qing said, trying to remain composed.

"Huh? You woke me up so urgently just to see Zhongli?" Hu Tao pouted, clearly annoyed at being disturbed.

Damn... so cute. I—

Luo Qing felt as though an arrow had struck his heart. Was cuteness the world's most dangerous weapon?

"Ahem... Perhaps I'd consider buying a stele," Luo Qing said nonchalantly. With the Northland Bank backing him, a little expense like this was trivial.

"Really?! You've come at the perfect time; we're running a promotion: buy one stele, get one free!" Hu Tao's eyes lit up, her annoyance vanishing instantly. She swung the door wide open and dragged Luo Qing inside.

Meanwhile, Rosalyne followed them in, frowning in confusion.

Once inside, Hu Tao seemed to realize she was still half-dressed. She quickly excused herself, leaving Luo Qing and Rosalyne in the lobby while she dashed upstairs to make herself presentable.

"What exactly is this Wangsheng Funeral Parlor?" Rosalyne asked, staring at the sign above the door with its bold black characters. She couldn't shake the feeling that something was... off.

"Liyue's top funeral service provider," Luo Qing said, sipping the tea Hu Tao had left out. "They handle everything from burials to spiritual rites, even gravestone inscriptions and burning offerings."

"..." Rosalyne's expression remained blank.

"Would you like to consider it, Lady Rosalyne? We're in a high-risk profession, after all. You never know when you might meet an untimely end. The Wangsheng Funeral Parlor specializes in dignified services. Even if you die in Inazuma, they'll make sure you're brought back for a proper send-off."

"Hmph. Should I take that as a curse?" Rosalyne's tone was frosty. His mouth is just as obnoxious as that Scaramouche's.

"Not at all. I'm just offering a practical suggestion. Of course, it'd be ideal if you lived a long life, Lady Rosalyne..." Luo Qing said, taking another sip to hide his smile.

Before long, Hu Tao reappeared, now fully dressed and holding a stack of pamphlets. She ran over excitedly and thrust them at Luo Qing.

"Here are our latest burial... I mean, funeral packages. Which one would you like?"

"Uh... We're mainly here to see Consultant Zhongli," Luo Qing said, eyeing the exorbitantly priced full-service packages on the pamphlet.

"Hm?"

Hu Tao held the pamphlets close to her chest, her plum blossom eyes narrowing. Her gaze seemed to say: No stele, no Zhongli.

"..."

"Fine, we'll take the most expensive package," Luo Qing sighed. The Northland Bank's money wasn't his, so why not spend freely?

"Really?"

"I'm serious," he affirmed.

"Yes! A completed sale!" Hu Tao's face lit up as she practically bounced with excitement. "Any special requests for your service? Perhaps a favorite song during the ceremony, specific types of spirit money, or should we burn a house or clothes as offerings?"

"Also, full payment in advance, as per our policy!" she added, grinning.

"..."

Luo Qing turned to Rosalyne and suggested with a straight face, "It's a buy one, get one free deal. Should we go halves on it? You can get a stele too."

"..."

Half an Hour Later

After enduring a barrage of Hu Tao's unique "services," both Luo Qing (and a reluctant Rosalyne) had become proud owners of underground real estate—pre-purchased plots for their future graves. Even if they met their end in foreign lands, the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor would ensure their remains received a grand farewell.

Hu Tao was delighted, surprised that such profitable business had come knocking just after her morning nap.

Rosalyne, on the other hand, was seething. She couldn't shake the feeling that Luo Qing had somehow jinxed her. If they didn't meet Morax today, she swore she would scatter his ashes herself.

Not even the Tsaritsa could stop her. She promised.

"Director Hu, we've bought the package. Now, can we finally see Consultant Zhongli?" Luo Qing asked.

"Well... Zhongli is merely a consultant, not a full-time employee here. If you want to meet him, you need a bit of luck and timing~" Hu Tao replied, smiling.

"So, you don't actually know when he'll be here, do you?"

"Exactly," she said, nodding.

"..."

Luo Qing felt a chill run down his spine. When he turned, Rosalyne's eyes had gone cold—murderous, even.

She'd followed Luo Qing around all morning, only to end up buying a tombstone and fielding bizarre questions from this strange girl about whether she and Luo Qing wanted to be buried together.

Rosalyne was a warrior of pure-hearted devotion! To suggest something like this was practically dancing on her landmine!

If it weren't for the hope of meeting Morax, she would've burned down this whole establishment long ago.

Luo Qing's mind raced as he saw Rosalyne's temper flaring. He considered using Time Zero to whisk her out of there before Hu Tao bore the brunt of her rage, but just then, footsteps echoed from the entrance.

A man in a brown robe, patterned with dragon scales, stepped calmly inside.

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T/N: Oh Hu Tao...