LIGHTNOVELONLINE Chapter 102
Chapter 102
What did I even do?
I stared at Gyun Seong-ha, dumbfounded.
In that brief moment, tears welled up in his eyes and flowed down his cheeks.
‘…Just like last time with Kim Jun-woo. Do I have a talent for making people cry?’
It was a silly thought.
From what I could see, Gyun Seong-ha seemed to have gotten so emotional that he couldn’t control himself in that short moment.
Let’s think about this calmly.
Is he crying because of the comment about his height?
Although it was something I had never seen before, it was possible that being called tall could be an insult to someone.
Sure, someone might not want to be tall. But still…
“Do you hate being tall?”
It was hard to find someone who disliked being told they were tall enough to ask such a stupid question.
At least, it was the first time for me today.
In response to my bewildered question, Gyun Seong-ha roughly wiped away his tears with his hand and muttered in a low voice.
“Yes. I hate it, so get out. Right now.”
At least I was sure of one thing: being called tall was not a compliment to Gyun Seong-ha.
It was then that I heard the notification sound of a quest arriving in my ears.
[Sudden Quest Triggered!
[▶ Quest Description: Through this incident, you have realized that telling someone they are tall can be hurtful. But why is this person acting like this all of a sudden?
Anyway, let’s take this opportunity to resolve any misunderstandings that might exist and prevent any potential issues for future group activities. Increase Gyun Seong-ha’s favorability to at least 0 within the time limit! (Time limit: 1 hour)
▶ Success: Gyun Seong-ha’s mental stability, ???
▶ Failure or Refusal: Prolonged cold war with Gyun Seong-ha, deteriorating mental state of Gyun Seong-ha, increased likelihood of rumors of discord within the group]
[Do you accept the quest?]
[Y/N]
What in the world.
It was overwhelming, but thinking positively, the one-hour time limit seemed to suggest that it was possible to resolve this within an hour.
Surely, they wouldn’t give me an impossible task, right?
Anyway, since Gyun Seong-ha was acting strange towards me, it was an issue I would have had to address eventually.
I figured it was a good opportunity and accepted the quest. Before anyone else could come, I closed the door to the vocal practice room and faced Gyun Seong-ha directly.
Thanks to the light coming through the window in the door, I could vaguely see Gyun Seong-ha’s tear-streaked face.
Gyun Seong-ha, perhaps surprised by my unexpected move, widened his eyes and growled.
“What are you doing? Go. Disappear quickly.”
I had noticed while playing games with him before that, despite his unfriendly and sharp demeanor, his language was surprisingly polite.
He had sent messages like ‘♡♡’ before, but he had never directly cursed.
It seemed like he had a proper way of speaking, just like me, who had a filter on his tongue.
In this situation, more direct and satisfying words like ‘get lost’ would have been more fitting than ‘go’ or ‘disappear,’ which lacked impact.
If it were me, I would have said ‘get lost.’
“…What are you looking at?”
Gyun Seong-ha, who was still crying continuously despite wiping his tears, snapped irritably.
It was clear to anyone that he wasn’t in a normal state.
My comment about his height had been the final straw that shattered his sensitive and fragile mentality.
I was more dumbfounded than angry, just wondering why he was acting this way.
Rather, I was curious how someone with his looks and physical condition could try to appear threatening and still seem so insignificant.
Well.
It’s strange to feel threatened by a high school student with a fragile mentality who occasionally cries while saying things without impact, standing stiff like a pole.
As an older brother with a mental age four years older than him, I calmly asked.
“Why do you hate being tall?”
“What do you care.”
If that’s the case, I had nothing more to say, but when you have nothing to say, you can always make up something.
That’s what I did.
“No, I just said you were tall, but you started crying, so I’m worried something might be wrong.”
[……. Gyun Seong-ha’s Favorability +? Current Favorability ?]
Gyun Seong-ha’s tears started to flow faster.
This was driving me crazy. What did I even do?
“……”
I really wanted to see Kang Ji-woo.
I didn’t trust Ban Yo-han very much, and Seo Moon-gyeol, who lacked tact, didn’t seem like he would be much help in this situation either.
Of course, I wasn’t much help either, given my lack of normal social experience for my age.
‘I thought we were on good terms, but when I casually mentioned his height, he started crying. What should I do in this situation?’
…I desperately wanted to post something like this on an online forum for advice.
Just then, Gyun Seong-ha, who had been biting his lip and sobbing, opened his mouth with difficulty.
“When I dance, it looks awkward.”
From his disjointed and intermittent speech, as he struggled to stop crying, I could piece together that since he started as a trainee with a height of about 180cm, he had significant difficulty controlling his body when learning to dance, which left him with a complex about his height.
Considering that being tall can make it harder to control one’s body delicately, I could imagine how much he must have struggled back then with his fragile mentality.
“Okay. My bad…”
[……. Gyun Seong-ha’s Favorability +? Current Favorability ?]
At that, Gyun Seong-ha glared at me and said.
“Don’t say weird things.”
What does he want from me?
“How is it your fault? I’m… I’m the weird one…”
His words, which started sharply telling me not to say weird things, crumbled into sorrow as he finished.
I had no idea how to deal with this fragile-minded teenager.
I desperately wanted to see Kang Ji-woo again.
“Hey, sit down for a moment. Let’s talk sitting down. Standing makes my legs tired.”
I made Gyun Seong-ha sit on the floor.
“Should I turn on the lights?”
“…Don’t turn it on.”
At least now, the tears that had been flowing without any solution seemed to have stopped to some extent.
Separately, I could already envision how unbearably embarrassed Gyun Seong-ha would be about this later.
“…….”
“…….”
It had already been 20 minutes since this incident started.
I pondered over it carefully.
Gyun Seong-ha must have heard comments about his height more than once or twice in his life, so it was hard to believe that just one comment could make things this serious.
So, I decided to address the more fundamental issue.
“Then why are you uncomfortable with me?”
I wondered if the fact that it was me who made the comment was the main problem.
“…I’m not uncomfortable.”
“Of course you are. I know you don’t like me, so don’t say weird things and talk properly.”
“I don’t dislike you. How could you even think that…”
“Is it my fault?”
“…No. It’s my fault.”
Gyun Seong-ha’s voice, speaking as if in confession, became damp and seemed on the verge of tears again.
I was worried he might start crying to the point where conversation became impossible, but fortunately, this time he managed to hold back.
I had accidentally learned last time that crying takes a lot of energy.
Gyun Seong-ha, who normally wouldn’t say things easily, was now letting words flow freely, likely because he was feeling dizzy, fuzzy-headed, and slightly sleepy.
I decided to use the same strategy I had used when I dealt with Muk Hye-sung right after he woke up.
“We’re in the same group, and we can’t keep going on like this. The contract period is seven years.”
Gyun Seong-ha flinched slightly when I mentioned the seven years.
That’s right. You must be feeling burdened too, thinking about seven years in this state.
[……. Gyun Seong-ha’s favorability +? Current favorability ?]
From the six dots and question marks that had been showing nothing for a while, I felt the intention of Larry not to interfere in this matter as much as possible.
Then, Gyun Seong-ha spoke in a suppressed voice.
“…On the last broadcast, I saw the dance you did a long time ago.”
He seemed to be referring to the practice video of ‘On Raon’ during his time with True, which was shown as archival footage.
“So what?”
Meeting my eyes, Gyun Seong-ha closed his tightly and said.
“…You were too good.”
Too good, so what…
“Don’t tell me you were… jealous or something similar?”
I asked, bewildered.
Gyun Seong-ha nodded with a face that couldn’t look more embarrassed.
“I was scared. I was scared that I might not be needed anymore… Even after seeing how hard it was for you… I, I’m… garbage…”
Self-loathing, Gyun Seong-ha buried his tear-streaked face in his knees once more.
* * *
The arts, from a young age, were particularly influenced by talent.
Gyun Seong-ha had an older brother and a younger sister, both of whom were in the arts and showed extraordinary progress from a young age.
Growing up among them, Gyun Seong-ha’s standards were high from an early age. He constantly compared himself, who fell short, to the geniuses close to him, and worked tirelessly to catch up with his siblings.
In the process, his self-esteem was miserably eroded, and he grew resentful of the unattainable realm of talent from an excessively early age. Ultimately, he came to fervently admire it more than anyone else.
These were all things he couldn’t help.
Seeing a genius whose honed talent shone purely in the moments of its display, he felt ambivalent emotions.
He liked it but hated it, hated it but liked it.
He could never be honest with his own feelings.
This affected his overall personality development.
He quit kids’ modeling with his sister and sports following his brother at an early age.
Both activities showed decent results objectively, but he couldn’t endure the mediocrity he felt in their presence and the standards others imposed on him.
Even after joining Seed and starting his trainee life, Gyun Seong-ha was always anxious.
As he dealt with a naturally fragile temperament, late adolescence, extreme anxiety about debuting, and the seemingly vast gap he felt with the members from the survival program, who all seemed excellent, his already fragile mental state recently hit its lowest point.
He had heard about On Raon, who was in the same school, the same department, but a grade above.
However, since their grades were different, and On Raon wasn’t the outgoing type, it was the first time he saw the so-called impressive dance through that video.
‘How is he doing that?’
Moving like a breeze carrying petals and snowflakes, then transforming into a thunderbolt that struck instantly, defying the limitations of his young age with his free movements.
The image lingered in his mind like an afterimage…
‘The only thing I can contribute to the team is dancing.’
More than jealousy or inferiority, it was a vague sense of crisis that weighed down Gyun Seong-ha’s consciousness.