Gardenia of Blooming Desire

The spring festival was really crowded. There were many stalls selling foods, goods, and even child games that required you to pay two bronze coins to play. I laughed when Merry joked, "One game from that stall would cost us our dinner."

Lisa was old, so she stayed at home. While Jon, he said that he had a date with a servant girl in this festival and didn't want to disturb me and Merry, so he separated from us.

We walked around, and then halted when Merry held my hand. I looked at her red face, "Um... a couple should hold hands together," she said shyly. I smiled and hold her hand. The guards suddenly stopped everyone from crossing the road and made a line to open a path. A white carriage with flowers adorned around it approached us from afar.

I looked at the carriage, and noticed that familiar coachman who came with blue carriage to the Grand Duke Harion's business before.

'So, there was Crown Prince inside...'

Whenever I remembered about Crown Prince, what was on my mind was only a demon in a chiseled face. I was about to leave the scene before I saw someone familiar inside the carriage. He was looking at the crowd behind the glass. Sun shone on top of him, thus, his face was revealed perfectly.

That golden hair, deep eyes, small straight nose, thin lips and overall perfect facial feature. It was Young Lord.

I stood dazed while watching Young Lord was inside the carriage with Crown Prince. The carriage passed me fast, I had my eyes starved from the sight of Young Lord. I rushed to the city hall.

Merry who was surprised by my sudden energy asked, "Ramuja? I thought you don't want to see the spring goddess? City hall will be very crowded!"

"It's okay, I want to see something there..."

I tried to squeeze in with Merry while protecting her because of her small figure. Finally, we got a good spot to see spring goddess. The carriage opened in front of the stage full of high aristocrats. When the door opened, and the spring goddess entered the stage, everyone was stunned. Everyone around me gasped, including Merry.

The spring goddess of this year was actually a man, but it didn't make them dissatisfied. In fact, when they see the face of the spring goddess, they were stunned because of how perfect he was.

I saw Crown Prince who smiled brightly escorted Young Lord to the stage. As if he was escorting his bride...

I could only swallow the fire that rose from my chest. I looked at them with envy, especially Crown Prince. I thought Young Lord Must've been forced by Crown Prince, but when I saw Young Lord actually replied Crown Prince with a beautiful smile, my chest felt pained instantly.

"That male spring goddess looks like a painting... don't you think so, Ramuja?" Merry commented. I nodded. It was obvious that Young Lord was extremely handsome and beautiful at the same time. From the first time I saw him, it was my very first thought.

I feast my eyes with the sight of Young Lord sitting at a throne made exclusive for spring goddess. He never looked at me even though we were this close, but that was understandable. As long as I knew Young Lord was in a good health, it was fine for me.

It was just that... whenever I saw Young Lord and Crown Prince close together, my heart burned tremendously. I knew this shameful feeling, but I didn't have any hope anyway. I could only hold it inside my heart and stared at Young Lord piteously.

Until I saw him looking at my direction, it was as if he was staring at me. I focused my gaze on him and our eyes met. I knew he was just staring at the crowd, not specifically at me, but it made my heart happier.

Then, the Crown Prince approached Young Lord and whispered something intimately. I couldn't bear it after seeing this intimacy between Young Lord and Crown Prince, so I asked Merry, "Let's go. The spring goddess ritual is going to start soon, right?"

"Yes! Let's go!" Merry replied excitedly.

We stood together with a lot of people who waited for spring goddess ritual, "Spring Goddess will chant during the ritual and throw flowers at us! People will try to get that flowers, because it is believed to be blessed by spring goddess herself," Merry explained.

"I see..." I answered absentmindedly. I was expecting Young Lord. If he would be on the street, doing the ritual, then that meant I had high chance to see Young Lord closer.

When Young Lord entered the path while carrying a basket full of flowers, I silently followed him. Young Lord started chanting about something and threw flowers to his left and right, I forgot about everything else, I didn't mind the flowers unlike the others who tried to get one. I followed him silently between the crowds. I tried to be as close as possible, as long as I could see Young Lord. I just wanted once, at least once our eyes met, then I would be satisfied.

'Look at me once, Young lord. I beg you. I missed you so much...'

Then, just when I was lost in thought, I heard a groan from one of the guard. That guard was stabbed and fell to the ground. I saw a man holding a knife, his eyes was sharp and he directed his knife to the center of the attention. He lunged to Young Lord.

'Young Lord!!'

There was something in my body that was pumped vigorously. I felt a burst of energy and jumped immediately to Young Lord side. I shielded him with my back and hugged him tightly.

I felt few stabs on my back, it was deep and my body trembled out of pain. But my hug just got tighter to Young Lord. What was on my mind was that... Young Lord shouldn't get hurt, it was my duty as his slave to protect him.

Then, Young Lord opened his eyes. For the first time in half year, our eyes finally met. I smiled, and said "Young Lord... are you okay?"

After that, everything faded to black. The last thing I felt was a warm embrace from Young Lord.

***

The light flickered from the oil lamp above me. My eyelids trembled slightly and I opened my eyes slowly. The ceiling was high and made with smooth wood. This place was definitely an expensive place.

I tried to move my body, but my back stung badly. I frowned and moved my head around. I saw a woman sleeping on a chair. Her long hair was disheveled. The flower adornment on her body started wilting.

"Merry?" I asked. Merry raised her head instantly and the worries on her face dissipated.

"Ramuja, oh my god! You are awake!" Merry was about to hug me, but knowing my wound, she decided to hold the wooden bed instead.

"Where are we?"

"We are in hospital now. Crown Prince and that Spring Goddess brought you here and give you the best medicine," Merry explained.

"Where are they now?"

"Well, they left not long after. You have been unconscious for the whole day," Merry said. "Why did you do that though? Protecting the Spring Goddess, what if you died for real!" Merry scolded, unable to hold tears on her eyes.

"That's because..." I halted my speech.

'I shouldn't tell her. She might know about my relationship with Young Lord.'

"I just want to protect him..." I said.

Merry sighed, "I know you are a kind person. But don't be too impulsive like that. You are lucky that Spring Goddess was very kind. He brought you here, treated you with the best medicine and Crown Prince allowed you to stay in this expensive hospital until you recovered. Crown Prince seems to be very fond of him though... Even though they are both men..."

"You know, when you were in the carriage, Crown Prince and Spring Goddess rode a horse together, tailing behind. Everyone saw Crown Prince kissed that man's nape!" Merry said.

I almost jolted when I heard that. The hand that was clenching tightly on something since the moment I woke up started shaking.

"I see. Merry, may I trouble you to get me a glass of water? I'm thirsty."

"Sure, I need to go ask the nurse." Merry smiled. She left the room to get water for me.

I raised my hand and opened the fist that was holding on something. From the shape of it, it was extremely familiar, something that was very precious to me. The thing that always reminded me of Young Lord. I didn't bring it to the festival, fearing that I might lose it.

I opened my hand, the same pin was on my palm, stringless harp with 'A' in the middle of it. It was Young Lord's personal pin. However, this pin was different, because this pin was made of silver.

'Did Young Lord give this to me?'

'This silver pin... does that mean Young Lord finally recognized me as someone close to him?'

'If he really does, what is the meaning of this?'

'To save me and give me hope, then go with Crown Prince again?'

I know I shouldn't hope much for it. I was very happy to get this silver pin, which meant Young Lord trusted me.

But when I heard him letting Crown Prince kissed his nape, rode horse together... the happiness I got from this silver pin had the same weigh as the misery I felt in my heart.

I put the silver pin on my chest. I did this with the brass pin whenever I was anxious or sad. I bit my lower lips, the hot and cold in my heart torture me. Even the physical pain I got was nothing compared to it.

'Why do I feel this way towards you, Young Lord...'