Gardenia of Blooming Desire

I sat besides Jon on a log while waiting for a special someone to come. Jon opened his lunch and started eating. It was already spring and the cold wasn't as severe as the harsh winter three months ago. I peeked at the food that Jon ate and my stomach grumbled.

I was about to bring my own lunch too, but Merry forbade me. She said she would cook and deliver my lunch herself. I sighed, it was weird to have someone personally cook for me, but Merry looked dejected when I tried to reject her request.

Thus, I complied.

About fifteen minutes after that, Merry arrived with a basket she carried. She had her long black hair tied up and her eyes wandered around until she found me and Jon sitting on a log. Her eyes instantly brightened and she hurried to my side.

"Here's your lunch!" Merry said excitedly.

"Uhm... thank you..." I said. She handed me the basket. I could smell the aroma of garlic and herb. I frowned, "Where did you get garlic and herbs? I don't remember we planted garlic yet."

Merry giggled, "My boss gave me new year bonus, so I bought few things and saw garlic and herbs were in the market, for half the price!"

"That... that's too much, Merry..."

"No, no! It's fine!" Merry laughed, "I'm just really happy."

"Happy?"

Merry instantly blushed, her unrestrained laugh before replaced by a shy smile, "That... I think, cooking for someone I love makes me happy..."

I went silent, but I bowed my head. Somehow, my face felt hot.

"Hey! You two make me a third wheel here, go have date somewhere else," Jon interrupted. Merry and I instantly bowed and the atmosphere became a bit awkward. Merry gave something to her brother and then said, "I have to go. Ramuja, see you later.

"Yes... um... see you later, Merry." I replied.

Merry turned back and walked fast, but when I saw her back, it seemed that she was half skipping like a bunny.

'Cute.' I said unconsciously. I kept following Merry's figure who was getting farther and farther. But when she almost disappeared out of my sight, her back turned slimmer, her hair turned golden, and the figure looked cold and lonely.

I shook my head. Then, the figure turned back into Merry. It was just my imagination again. This had happened many times. I saw Young Lord's face, his gesture, his figure, his golden hair everywhere. I felt like I was about to go crazy.

'Young Lord...' I unconsciously put my hand to the pocket and felt a harp-shaped pin, with the letter 'A' in it. It was Young Lord's signature pin.

'Even like this... I couldn't forget you.'

'I already have someone that loved me. But I couldn't even forget you, not even one second.'

'Was I cursed? To dreamt of a sun I couldn't reach.'

Series of thoughts flooded my mind. I know I was ungrateful. I already had Merry that loved me wholeheartedly, but I couldn't forget him. I caressed the pin in my pocket again. Even like this, just with a pin, I could feel Young Lord's warmth to me. When he cared me, when he smiled to me, when he... cried for me.

I was dazed until Jon elbowed my hand, "Tsk! Damn it, I knew you are in relationship with my sister, but Grand Duke's guard called you!"

I saw the guard stared at me, his eyes were condescending, but I was used to such gaze everywhere. Thus, I didn't care and simply followed the guard to Grand Duke's office. Grand Duke Harion was sitting on a sofa while reading some documents. He put the documents down and stared at me.

I kneeled, and then greeted him as usual, "This humble subordinate is present in front of Grand Duke Harion."

Grand Duke Harion said nothing but gave me a stern gaze. It felt like his stern gaze pierced my gut, thus I bowed my head even lower.

"Do you have romantic relationship while you're in here?" Grand Duke asked out of the blue.

I was surprised that Grand Duke actually asked such thing. I was just a slave, my private life shouldn't be his bother.

"Pardon this subordinate's impertinence, but is there any problem if this subordinate has romantic relationship here?" I asked.

"You, A slave dare questioning Milord Duke! I shall cut your head!" the guard who stood tall behind me unsheathed his sword, I kneeled even deeper and almost prostrated.

"Silence!" Grand Duke ordered with sharp voice. The guard immediately sheathed his weapon and zipped his mouth.

Grand Duke asked me again, "I ordered you to tell me, do you have a romantic relationship in this place?"

I was about to lie, but I remembered that Grand Duke hated lies. He might cut my head off if I lied. "Yes... this subordinate has romantic relationship with a girl here, Milord."

"I see," Grand Duke's gaze became even deeper than before, "Who is your master right now?"

My breath shortened when Grand Duke said that. What was this? Was this a test for me? I gulped, "This--This subordinate's master is Young Lord of Grand Duchy Stormhill, Young Lord Aster di Arlingdon."

"Then, have you asked his permission about this? Your life is in his hand. Yet, you dared having a relationship with someone without his permission. Your disloyal action is already a punishable offense!" Grand Duke said with a stern tone.

My body started trembling after I heard the word disloyal.

'No. No! I would never be disloyal to him!'

'But... I am just a slave. I'm purchasable and dispensable. Why would Young Lord care about my affair...'

I took a deep breath and mustered up my courage to ask Grand Duke. "Milord, this subordinate is just a slave, this one is worthless. Why would Young Lord care about this subordinate's life?"

"Hmph. As expected from a sex slave, a presumptuous idiot. You dared asking me two questions without even clearly answering mine. Such offense, I wonder why would my son put up with you," Grand Duke's last trace of pity disappeared from his eyes, what inside was only mockery.

I knew that I made series of offenses in front of him. But somehow, I didn't have the same fear as with Grand Duchess. My instinct told me that Grand Duke would never kill me, unlike his wife.

I prostrated in front of him, but I said nothing. Grand Duke also went silent for almost half an hour. I didn't dare to raise my head even once.

After half an hour, Grand Duke finally said, "I am not in a mood to kill a slave. Also, your life is not within my right, it's my son's right."

Grand Duke scorned, he threw a sheet of paper to my head. "That is the permission of mine to Crown Prince Charles. He will visit this place tomorrow morning. Bring that paper and you shall accompany him."

I raised my head in astonishment. "M--Milord! This subordinate is just a slave, how could I--"

"You dared questioning me again? I'm a patient man, but I could only tolerate an idiot slave like you for few seconds."

"N--No.... this subordinate dare not..." I answered weakly. "This subordinate will do what is tasked to him."

"Good, now go." Grand Duke ordered. I excused myself and left Grand Duke's office. I stared at this piece of paper weakly and all I could think was the torture I would get tomorrow from that Crown Prince.

***

The guard was itching to ask Grand Duke about this. He was unsure, because giving a task of accompanying the Crown Prince to a stupid slave was a dangerous move. He kneeled, "Milord, may this subordinate know the reason why would Milord give the task to that slave?"

Grand Duke raised his eyebrows. He continued reading documents and replied, "I need to train him. I need him to realize how important his position is in my son's eyes."

"This subordinate doesn't understand, Milord. Why would Young Lord care about a filthy slave?"

"I didn't realized it before either. But when I saw him holding something in his pocket, I recognized what it is," Grand Duke's right hand went inside his pocket. He touched something inside, a harp-shaped pin with the letter 'A' in his pocket.

"That slave will know, he have something from Aster that the Crown Prince doesn't have."