Gardenia of Blooming Desire

After that incident during the autumn banquet, Aster felt that Charles started acting weird. He visited Aster everyday during his autumn break from the campaign and acted like he was enamored to him. Aster actually wondered if he was actually in love with him.

'Eh, wouldn't that be impossible?'

'I mean, we are cousins, and we are both men.'

'But, this…'

Aster opened an envelope after Charles was finally stationed to his next campaign. It was a letter from him, scented with his mix musk and strong sandalwood perfume he wore regularly here. No, it was the perfume he only used here, because Aster said that he liked the sandalwood scent when Charles brought a sandalwood powder from one land he conquered before.

The content of his letter was indeed very romantic. Not in a joking manner, but it was indeed a love letter, Aster would just take it as a joke from Charles if he hadn't tried to kiss his lips without gardenia a few times.

'His joke has gone too far, Helene might get hurt.'

Aster reread the letter, and noticed a little overly amorous tone and corniness in his letter.

-- Dear Aster, the flower who bloomed inside my heart.

I may leave, and you may miss me.

But fear not, my dear. You are always in my mind.

The moment when I am writing this letter, I solely remember you, our love and our kiss. --

Aster shuddered. This was already too far. Even though Aster didn't want this possibility to happen, if Charles was actually in love with him, he had to find a way to shift his attention.

He didn't know when Charles suddenly acted this way. But it was impossible that Charles was in love with him since they were young, because Charles never acted this weird before. It must have been the young adult crisis, which Aster had read in one of the psychology books about this problem. Probably because he was stressed out by his new engagement, he became confused.

'Either way, I need to find a way to snap Charles out of his madness. He might have gone too far.'

While Aster was always with good terms with his cousins, Uncle Emperor and Aunt Empress, He couldn't disclose the fact that they could be a bit crazy sometimes. His mother had taught him on how to act a certain way in order not to trigger their mood. Nevertheless, Charles' madness was out of his prediction.

'This is just a mere confusion. But I shouldn't draw Uncle Emperor's attention.'

Aster sighed. He felt that Charles must've been stressed out by his campaign, engagement, and pressure from his father. Thus, Charles' escapism was Aster, his own cousin as they had always been close since they were kids.

'It is best to play along until I find a way to deal with him.'

Aster decided to write the same 'love' letter to Charles and sprayed his batch of flower-scented perfume on the letter. He then called the maid and ordered her to send it.

Not long after that, Aster walked out from his tower to his mother's chamber. Since his mother had an important matter for him.

Aster saw the east garden and saw his servant, Ramuja, sweeping the fallen leaves. He was still the same even after one week of not talking at all. Still looked strong, handsome, and serious. Though, he did look a bit sad.

Still, even though he was a bit sad, at least he was well fed and healthy. Aster kept thinking about this servant that he had lost his appetite for this whole week.

'Is he okay?'

'Was he mad at me? Or he still is?'

'Should I say sorry?'

Aster watched his servant doing his job with Old Bennie and somehow, he envied Old Bennie for being able to get close to him. He sighed again, another problem that had burdened his mind.

Aster entered his mother chamber. Grand Duchess was sitting on a velvet chair, which implies that something serious had happened.

Aster sat besides her and asked, "Mom? Is everything alright?"

Grand Duchess didn't answer immediately. She glanced at him, handed him a letter with a noble stamp that had been opened.

"Read it," his mother ordered.

Aster read the content for a few seconds and his hand instantly trembled. His pale skin grew even paler and his grip tightened, almost tearing the letter.

Aster looked at his mother and said, "Mom-- this is a mistake, how could I--"

"Aster Di Arlingdon, did you leave the banquet, and went to the garden with your slave during the autumn banquet?" her mother asked. There was none of her usual warm tone to him. In fact, it was cold and sharp.

Aster wanted to reject it, but he was unable to do so.

So, he just nodded.

Grand Duchess' gaze grew complicated, she was about to be angry, but she held it back, "And, in that garden, did you have a confrontation with Crown Prince?"

"Yes, but mom I can explain!" Aster exclaimed.

"No, Aster. Even if the truth is different. The fact that it is already a gossip between two houses, especially major houses, Duchy of Silvorè and Marquis of Geonè, the details are unimportant."

"Mom, I…" Aster's voice subsided. He knew once a gossip had been spread, even the truth couldn't cover the residue of a gossip.

"The Marchioness of Geonè had heard the gossip from Lady Berzhenia, Duchess of Silvorè. Now, she actually blackmailed us to hand her bit of our land for her house. So that the secret will be well kept. That is the problem, Aster Di Arlingdon."

"I… am sorry…"

"Aster, my dear son. The land is not a really big problem, but she has something against us," Grand Duchess' voice was getting hoarse, she stared at her son, "Aster, I am sorry that I cannot protect you."

Aster was stunned when he saw his usually domineering mother looked pitiful. Aster hugged her, "M--Mom, I am sorry, I will not do it again. I will find a way to handle this."

"You're still young, my son. Let your mom handle this," she said, she hugged her son back and put his head to her bosom, "Do not worry, my son. Your dad might not be here yet, but your mom will always protect you."

Aster felt the guilt had overtaken him. He actually disappointed his mother. Even putting the Grand Duchy in disadvantage, "If there is something I can help, mom…"

His mom's caress on his head stopped. She hesitated, "Personally, I want to get rid of that troublesome slave. But I know you favoured that slave."

Hearing his servant mentioned by Grand Duchess, Aster suddenly moved away from his mother's embrace.

"That--that is why I'm giving you a choice, dear son," she continued, "I will free him as a slave and drive him out of the duchy… or have him punished."

Aster's breath stiffened, he confirmed a few things, "Mom, it was me who ordered him to follow me, he was just doing his duty as my attendant."

"… I know, my dear son. But I feel restless knowing the fact that you favoured him. You want to help your tired mom, right? Aster, pick one."

Aster felt difficult. His mother must have been stressed. She needed something to relieve her stress or she wouldn't last long. Since the Grand Duchy had always been busy, she would often lashed out to lowly slaves and trained them with punishments to relieve her stress. If it was just regular slave, he would say yes immediately. But this was him...

'If he is set free, then he will live as a normal human, but that means…'

'That means there will be nothing between us…'

No, Aster wouldn't allow it. He was lucky enough to meet someone as pure as his servant. He couldn't let go.

"You can punish him, mom," Aster took a deep breath and stared at his mom, "But you cannot kill or cripple his body."

Grand Duchess smiled and hugged him again. "Of course, I will not do it that far. I just need something to relieve my stress, thank you."

Aster nodded and hurriedly excused himself. He was entangled between letting his mother punish his innocent servant or letting his mother go overly stressed out.

When he opened the door, the first thing that he saw was his servant, Ramuja, standing quietly with his mother's maid. Aster froze, he opened his mouth as he wanted to say sorry. But no sound came from his mouth. He left with such heavy feeling burdened him.

***

Aster heard the scream of agony coming out from his servant's mouth when he was whipped with barbed wire. He didn't have the heart to watch him being tortured, but the scream haunted him until he was unable to sleep peacefully. The guilt inside his heart was almost insurmountable.

Few days after his servant finally could walk, Aster summoned him to his room.

He waited until his servant opened the door. He still had the same posture, but he could see him kneeling in pain. Aster couldn't hold back his tears, he gripped his servant's shoulder with both of his hands, so they could face each other on the same level.

"I had wronged you, I am sorry."

Aster said. He cried in front of a servant that was cruelly punished because of his mistake.

Aster expected his servant to wail and cursed him. He could even bear it if his servant wanted to punch him. However, his servant shook his head.

"This servant doesn't feel wronged. It is what this servant chooses, and this servant chooses to follow Young Lord forever."

And at that moment, Aster tears abruptly stopped. He felt something swirling inside his head, his chest, and then his entire body.

He tightened the grip on his servant's shoulder.

'Yes, follow me forever… forever…'