Gacha Gacha Hero

*Bleargh*

Luke had transformed into a human fountain. Only with bile instead of water. Just a nonstop stream of miserable masticated mush. You can imagine it. Go on. It’s not a pretty sight.

“Luke!” Ash jumped. “What happened?”

“What’s wrong?” Ave asked.

“Sometimes he gets tired after summoning. But never like this.” Ash remarked.

Luke wiped his mouth. “I don’t know. I only took a taste and, *Bleeegh*”

More vomit.

“You drank it!? But that potion is…” Belbuk halted. “But that means… Curse it all. I don’t have time for this right now.”

Ave pulled a mop bucket out from a corner. She shoved it in front of Luke.

“Here. Try to aim for the bucket.” Ave said.

Luke smiled weakly. “Thank hyu…*Uuuggghhh*”

Ave grimaced and patted Luke’s back. “There you go. Get it all out.”

Belbuk was over by the coat rack. She threw in her thick overcoat in a hurry and grabbed her welder’s goggles. “Luke!” she shouted. “Quickly now. Pay attention. When you were at the Capital did anyone ever give you any special potions?”

“Huh?” Luke looked up. Drool dangled from his chin.

“What is this about?” Ash asked.

“Shut up!” Belbuk replied. “Think Luke. Any alchemical potions you might have taken? Maybe one that they told you to keep a secret.” Belbuk hurriedly put on her gloves.

Luke shook his head. “No. I don’t think… wait… there was one time. After I arrived. I was brought into the *Hurp* conference room. They gave me a glass. It sparkled.”

Belbuk nodded her head. “Good. Do you remember what it was?”

“No. They told me I didn’t need to know.” Luke hung his head. “I drank it anyway… *Hooorf*”

“That’s okay. You’re going to be okay.” Belbuk fastened her wide brimmed hat to her head. She turned, feet apart, back straight, and addressed the room.

“Here’s what is going to happen. Bird! You get upstairs and prep my lab. I need the full workstation. Bottles, beakers, burners, everything!”

Deus looked around the room. “Right now?”

“Yes right now!”

The goose saluted. “At once my devoted!”

Deus jumped up and started scrambling up the stairs.

Belbuk pointed at Ave. “Sleepyhead! You get Luke into the kitchen and try to make him comfortable. Once you’re done with that I need you upstairs. I’m going to need your steady hands.”

“Okay.” Ave agreed. She put an arm under Luke and tried to help him up.

“Charcoal boy!” Belbuk singled out Ash. “You clean up this mess down here. Once you’re done go into the woods, get all the charcoal you have, and bring it to my lab. And I mean all of it. Make as many trips as you have to.”

“No.”

Belbuk’s eyebrow almost imperceptibly twitched.

“What was that?” she asked.

“I said no.” Ash squared his shoulders. “You’re the one that tried to trick Luke. This is your fault. You clean it up.”

“Child. Are you telling me what to do inside of my own home?”

Ash looked over his shoulder.

Ave and Eins refused to make eye contact. Luke dismally licked his teeth.

“Screw it. Yes!” Ash exclaimed.

“SLAP*

Belbuk’s open handed slap pushed Ash a step back. Ash steadied himself against the table.

“I admire your audacity but I don’t have time for your insubordination. Now clean up this mess.” Belbuk turned and marched over to the stairs. “Luke will be fine. Right now I’m the one that needs your help.” Belbuk didn’t turn around. She quickly ascended the stairs.

Ave leaned over and helped Luke up. The two of them waddled into the kitchen with Eins padding behind.

Ash rubbed his cheek. He blinked. He blinked again. He walked over to the corner, picked up a washcloth, and started to clean the floor of the living room.

#

“Oooh…” Luke moaned as Ave set him down next to the washbasin. Ave pushed the bucket into his arms and then crouched down.

She looked into Eins’ eyes. “Eins I know everyone is yelling, and Luke is puking all over the floor right now, but please do not turn into a rock.”

“I’ll do my best.” The dog licked its nose.

“Good.” Ave nodded and stood back up. “How are you feeling?” Ave pushed back Luke’s bangs and looked into his eyes.

“Like I’m being turned… inside out.” Luke replied.

“I can stay here if you need me too.”

“No, no, I’ll be *Gulp* fine. Belbuk seemed very distressed. I think she needs your help.” Luke smiled weakly.

“I thought you always summoned the best possible thing.” Ave remarked.

“I do.” Luke said.

“Then why does it always cause so much trouble?”

“That’s something I’ve always wondered… myself.” Luke sighed.

“Alright, I'm going to help Belbuk.” Ave turned out of the kitchen.

Luke raised a hand. “Before you go. If you don’t mind. I need another bucket.”

“Just vomit into the one I already gave you.”

“No, I need… another bucket… for the other end.”

*Gurgle*

#

“Alcohol, baking soda, distilled vinegar, bring me all of the disinfectants we have.” Belbuk shouted at Deus.

“Honk, I’m, honk, on it.” The goose replied.

Deus collected several bottles, beakers, and baskets from the shelves around Belbuk’s study. The goose collected each item by grabbing in with its beak then depositing it on the center worktable like a giant bird-crane.

Ave pushed in the door. She shuffled over to the table. “So what is all this about?” She asked.

“Alchemy.” Belbuk was examining the two phials Luke summoned. “And it needs to happen fast.” She glanced at Ave. “Do you have steady hands?”

Ave smirked. “I do. One of the few things I’m confident of.”

“Good.” Belbuk handed Ave a glass rod with a bulb on the end. “This is a pipette. You’re going to be measuring exact quantities of material at my direction. There are gloves, glasses, and masks in the drawer behind you. Get covered up and we can start.”

#

Ash elbowed into the room. There was a basket of charcoal slung over his shoulder.

“Alright. I brought the charcoal. Now what is this all about?” he groused.

Belbuk didn’t look up from her measurements. She pointed. “Get some gloves and a mask from over there.” She elbowed a mortar on the table. “Then start crushing up your charcoal. I need a filtration medium. And I need a lot of it.”

Ash pulled on a set of work gloves. “And then you’ll explain what’s wrong with Luke right?”

*Sigh* “l’ll explain anything you want. But right now…” She tapped one of the mystical crystal phials with her finger. “This is more important.”

Ash started grinding charcoal.