Gacha Gacha Hero

“You’re a god?” Ash looked at the dog with *EXTREME SKEPTICISM*.

“That’s what I said.” Eins replied. /[‘o’]\

“I don’t believe you.” Ash quipped.

“Well I don’t care. It’s the truth.” Eins went back to chewing on the edge of the cheese wheel.

“It is… a little hard to believe.” Ave wondered.

“I believe him.” Luke said.

“Why?” Ash asked.

“Look at him. Why would he lie about that?” Luke countered.

“For any number of reasons. Just because he says he’s a god doesn’t mean he’s actually a god. He could be trying to trick us.” Ash explained.

“Even if he’s trying to trick us, that doesn’t mean that he’s not telling the truth.” Luke conjectured.

“What?” Ash confessed in confusion.

“Oh my heavens. You guys. Look! His little paw pads are shaped like bat wings.” Ave interjected.

Ave lifted one of the dog’s paws up. The metacarpal pad beneath the digits was shaped like a silhouette of a bat with its wings spread. (VV)

Eins ignored this attention and concentrated on unpeeling the wax from the wheel of cheese it was holding.

“You guys can doubt all you want. But he’s still a talking dog! That’s a pretty big deal by itself.” Luke said.

“Enough of this. Bring me another candle.” Eins exclaimed. “I shall show you some of my magnificent power.”

Luke found another candle in the room. He passed it over to Eins.

“Behold my incredible abilities.” Eins proclaimed.

The dog pursed its lips.

*Puff*Puff*

A sizzling ball of blue fire appeared in the air in front of the dog's snout. Eins kissed the flickering flame to the warm wick of the candle. Eins placed the now lit candle down onto the table.

“What do you think of that?” The dog crossed its forepaws over its chest and looked around.

*Self Satisfaction*

“All you did was light a candle.” Ash said.

“I can control fire!” said Eins.

“Yeah. But all you really did was light a candle. We can do that.” Ash continued.

*Sniff*Sniff*

“It smells like burning alcohol.” Ave added.

“That’s coincidental.”

*Ka-Burp*

Eins belched and produced a small burst of blue flame. The dog reached over and took a *Sip* from the silver cup on the table.

“That’s strange. Must be the air in the dungeon.” Eins said.

Luke cracked open another cheese wheel. A rich aroma filled the room.

“This stuff is pretty good.” He said.

Luke carved a slice from the wheel. He took a big bite.

“Isn’t it?” Eins agreed.

Luke brought the cheese over to the table. Eins wiggled a little in anticipation. Luke began chopping up slices for the others.

Ave ate hers in between taking sips from one of the opened wine bottles.

Ash took a bite from a corner. “It’s okay I guess.”

Eins nibbled voraciously on the slice in front of it. “Nonsense. This is some of the best in the Kingdom. You won’t find better cheese even in the Capital.”

“I’ve never been to the Capital.” Ash said.

Eins quickly looked Ash up and down. “I never would have guessed.”

“Where did all of this come from?” Ave asked.

“Where did what come from?” Eins de-clarified.

“The cheese. But also all the rest of this stuff.”

Eins waved a paw at the piles of materials in the corners of the room. “Most of this is leftovers from long ago. The cheese is different. I brought that here myself.”

“Why would you bring cheese to a Dungeon?” Luke asked.

Eins spoke around an entire wedge of cheese that it had wedged into its mouth. “No one comes into this donjon. There’s no safer place for it.” *Nom*Nom*Nom*

“In a Dungeon?” Luke said.

“That’s right. A donjon.” Eins took another *Sip* to wash down the parmesan. “These donjons are filled with traps and secret passages. We designed them to be the most secure locations in the world.”

“You did?” Ash looked up.

*Thud*Slam*

“What was that noise?” Eins asked.

*Ka-Thud*Ka-Slam*

The ground shook. A sprinkle of dust fell from the ceiling in the small room that they were hiding in.

Luke looked around nervously. “That was probably the Shadowbeast that was chasing us before.”

#

Eins dropped its tiny cup. “It’s still chasing you? Why didn’t you kill it?”

“What? No! How were we supposed to do that?” Ash sputtered.

“But aren’t the three of you adventurers?” The dog asked.

“No! Why would you think that?”

“Because you look exactly like adventurers.” He pointed his paw at each of them in turn. “Look at you. You came into a donjon. You were joking about traps and monsters. You didn’t show any hesitation when you found the secret passage. Also you came in from the east entrance.”

“Why does that matter?” asked Luke.

“That entrance leads to Star Town. A town that is well known for being full of adventurers.” said Eins.

“But we’re not adventurers.” Luke reaffirmed.

“Then why did you come inside the donjon!?” Eins yelled.

“Why did you?”

Eins held some cheddar between his paws and waved it for exaggeration. “I came to get some cheese!”

“How did it even find us?” Ave wondered.

“It’s a Manticore. They have an excellent sense of smell. It probably followed the stench of your dirty clothes. *Sniff* Have you been riding horses?”

“No, they ran away. Are you sure it wasn’t something else?” Ash looked down at the lumps of cheese on the table.

“Don’t you dare blame this on the cheese!” Eins snarled. “Dairy products are innocent. Oh dear. This is bad. What if it finds us.” Eins folded its ears down.

Ave picked up Eins and turned the dog around so it was facing her.“Hold on, you said east entrance earlier.”

“Yes.” Eins wiggled.

“Does that mean there’s another entrance, or exit, somewhere else?”

“Of course. All donjons have multiple entry points to allow for people to escape.” Eins barked.

*Ka-Slam*

The ground shook once more.

“Where’s the closest exit?” asked Ave.

“The west passage.” said Eins.

“Can we get out that way?”

Eins pointed to one side of the room. There was a door on that side. “That door leads to the west exit. If we follow the tunnel down it’s only a few hundred meters to the outside.”

“Ash. Torches?” Luke stood up.

“On it.” Ash said.

Another bundle of torches fell to the ground as they materialized in front of Ash. The torches were lit and passed around.

*Cough*Cough*

Eins held its paws over its nose.

“The smoke from these torches is… rather thick.” Eins whined.

“Are you complaining?” Ash retorted.

“No, I'm not complaining. I’m just… making an observation is all.”

*Cough*Cough*

Ave stood up. She winced as she put pressure on her leg. She held up her torch and looked at the others.

“Here’s the plan. We’ll quickly sneak out the west exit.” She pointed at Eins. “You lead the way.”

“You… want me to come with you?” Eins tilted its head.

“Yes. We need your help to escape.”

“I don’t know. I don’t think I would be much help.” Eins rubbed its paws together.

“Would you rather stay here with the monster?” Ash asked.

“Ahhh, no.” Eins shivered.

“Come on Eins. Help us out and we’ll get you a whole plate of cheese when we get out of here.”

Eins danced on two legs. “Oooh. I would like that.”

Ave held up her torch and nodded to the others. “Okay. Everyone else stay low and move quietly. Once we’re outside we get away from here as fast as we can. If we’re lucky that beast will have no idea where we’ve gone.”

The western wall *EXPLODED*

With an earsplitting *GRawROOAARR* the Shadowbeast *Smashed* its way through the wall into the room the party was hiding in.