Gacha Gacha Hero

“Who is she?” Luke looked at Ash.

“How the moons should I know.” Ash looked at Luke.

“Has she always been here? Is this your table?” asked Luke.

“There was nobody here when we sat down.” Ash looked concerned. “At least I think there wasn’t.”

“Is she a waitress?”

“She’s not dressed like a waitress.”

“You’re right. She’s dressed like a Royal Guard. Is she a Royal Guard?” asked Luke.

“Are you a Royal Guard?” Ash spoke to the young woman.

The young woman took a moment to look between the two of them. “Yes.”

*Lightbulb* Ash narrowed his eyes. “You were with the other guards in the marketplace weren’t you.”

“When you tried to convince us that you were sack merchants? Yes.” she said.

“And you followed us here. Why?”

“Because I’ve been looking for him.” She turned to Luke. “The Royal Guards were given secret instructions to find and apprehend the Royal Summoner who disappeared from the Capital several days ago.”

“Oh heavens! This is the end.” Luke buried his face in his hands. “My journey of redemption ends before it even begins. I’m sorry Ash. I’ll never forget what you tried to do for me.” Luke stood up and put his hands on Ash’s shoulders. “Maybe they’ll let me write to you from the Capital Dungeons. Unless the rats eat my toes and I don’t know, maybe the spiders can eat my hair. What do spiders eat? Do they eat silk worms? They’re always pooping silk.”

Ash put a hand against Luke’s chest and not so gently shoved him back into his seat. “Sit down you overly dramatic doorknob. She’s not going to arrest you. At least I don’t think she is…”

“That is correct.” The woman gave a slight nod.

“See? If she was going to capture you she could have already called for the Guards while we were busy not noticing her. Which is still really weird. Why is that so weird?”

“I was wondering that too. How come we didn’t see you before? Are you a ghost?” Luke tentatively reached across the table and tapped her shoulder.

Ash slapped his hand. “Don’t just poke people.”

“I didn’t know if she was people.” said Luke.

“Well, don't go poking ghosts either.” said Ash.

“Why not? What do they care if they get poked or not?”

“Are you two done deciding if I’m real or not yet?” The woman interrupted.

“Heavenly handbaskets!” Luke turned around on his chair. “I forgot you were there.”

“Ah he’s right. You don’t even make any noise when you breathe.” said Ash.

“Maybe if you tried humming or something we would stop losing track of you.”

“Anyway…” The young woman’s face was blank. “You can call me Ave, and no I am not a ghost.”

“Okay.” Ash looked suspicious.

“Nice to meet you Ave.” Luke leaned across the table. “Be honest with me. Have we met before? Do I have amnesia? Are you a childhood friend that I should recognize? I have been away from town for a long time.”

Ave looked nonplussed. “No. We’ve never met before.”

Luke wiped his forehead. “Good. I was worried there for a moment. I was afraid that I might have forgotten you for no reason.”

“I’m used to it.” said Ave.

Ash leaned over. “You were with those other guards in the marketplace right?”

“That’s correct.”

“How did you know it was him?” He pointed at Luke.

“I didn’t think anyone would be able to recognize me looking like that.” Luke itched his face a little more.

“I admit that your disguise was convincing. The others were only looking at his face. But I examined him more closely. I noticed that even though you said he was your brother underneath his cloak he was wearing linen breeches and leather riding boots. Compared to how you were dressed.” She gave Ash a quick up and down with her eyes. “It was very suspicious that he would be so finely dressed. So I decided to follow you two and see if there was something going on. Looks like I was right.”

“How did you know he was in town?” asked Ash.

“That’s right, I told the coachman not to tell anyone where he dropped me off.” Luke said.

“The who?” Ash did a double take.

“The coachman.” Luke repeated.

“You took a coach to get here?”

“Well I didn’t walk if that’s what you’re thinking. Look at these boots.” Luke showcased his fine leather footwear. “These boots were made for riding not for walking.”

“Did you get four years older and four years younger at the same time?” asked Ash.

“You think the coach was a bad idea?” asked Luke.

“In a series of bad ideas. Yes.”

*Ahem* Ave cleared her throat.

“Wow! She’s still here.” Luke turned with surprise.

“I don’t mean to be rude but it is a little unsettling how you keep sneaking up on us without even moving.” Ash remarked.

Ave ignored him. “As I was saying before I can tell you why the White Council wanted him to summon the Demon Lord.”

#

*Backwards through the Mists of Time*

The Council Chamber was filled with the silence that hangs after a thunderstrike.

“Did it work?” One of the Councilors asked.

“I’ve never felt such a powerful wave of magic before. It even snuffed out the candles.” Another one continued.

“Quiet!” The third shouted. “We are not alone.”

The three wizened men waited in the darkness. There were two figures in the exact center of the room. One was Luke. He was slumped over in his chair unconscious after the exertion of using his summoning magic. Luke was barely visible in the gloom.

But the other figure could be seen clearly. Normal darkness is just the absence of light. This other, the DEMON LORD was somehow even darker than that. A hollow silhouette that wasn’t just dark, it pushed past the boundaries of darkness into the void beyond where light didn’t even exist.

A massive humanoid encased entirely in metal armor. The armor felt unnecessary. The DEMON LORD radiated an aura of impenetrability. Attacking this creature wouldn’t just be futile, it would be irrelevant.

“Someone… get the lights.” One of the Councilors spoke. For the first time his voice sounded… old.

*Snap* The DEMON LORD flicked its wrist. The torches in the room burst in flames again. The Councilors tried to suppress a shiver. Even in the light there was something. The torchlight only enhanced the strange uncanniness of the armored warrior standing perfectly still in the middle of the room.

“It worked.” The Councilor tried to inject some confidence back into his voice. “Just as we knew it would.”

“Then our real work has only just begun.” The old man turned to the dark figure in the center of the room. “He doesn’t look like a demon. I was expecting something… more. Maybe wings. Or a tail.”

“You are the Demon Lord aren’t you?”

“The greatest Demon Lord of all?”

YES

*Gasp*

The Councilors shivered involuntarily.

“Take off your helmet.” The Councilor proposed.

*Pause*

AS YOU WISH

The demon lord slowly reached up and removed its helmet. There was only the slightest hiss of metal as the armored plates scrapped against each other.

The men in the room realized that they had been holding their breath in anticipation of the horror they were about to see. Then they realized they had been holding their breath for no reason.

“He doesn’t look like a demon.”

“He looks like a man.”

“Are you a man?”

The face beneath the helmet turned to them. I AM THE THING THAT WAS SUMMONED. NOTHING ELSE.

The men in the room shuffled their feet impatiently. They had clearly been expecting more. And even though the face beneath the armored mask wasn’t some twisted demon there was still something unsettling about the look of it.

*Gulp* “It doesn’t really matter in the end. But for now put your helmet back on.”

The DEMON LORD put the black helm back on. Even that simple action was filled with menace.

“You must be wondering why we summoned you?”

The DEMON LORD made no effort to respond.

*Ahem* “We are the White Council of Pivot Kingdom. I am Councilor A, master of Economics.”

“I am Councilor 1, sage of Strategy.”

“And I am Councilor I, father of Law.”

The three old men raised their hands to the heavens. “Together we are the greatest political minds that have ever lived.” “We are politicians with no equal.” “And we are all equally great politicians.”

They lowered their arms and nodded smugly to one another. The DEMON LORD made no effort to encourage their speech.

Councilor A continued. “For decades we have ruled this kingdom with unassailable skill. Under our leadership the nation has reached a level of peace and prosperity that were previously unheard of.”

Councilor I walked to a chest in the corner of the room. “In a world where anyone and everyone can use magic to summon anything they wish, it takes an incredible amount of skill to make sure that taxes are collected, that armies are supplied, and that peaceful relations are maintained with our neighbors.” He flipped open the lid revealing a pile of gold coins inside. “We have used our authority to revolutionize our nation’s infrastructure.”

Councilor 1 rolled a parchment map out on the table. “And now that our kingdom is the most powerful in the land…” He drew a knife and traced its edge along the border between the neighboring lands. “There is only one obstacle left for us.”

He pulled back his arm and buried the tip of the blade dead center in the map. Right in the heart of the Capital.

“To do it all over again.”

YOU SUMMONED ME TO…

Councilor A smiled. “Our kingdom is peaceful. A little too peaceful.” He pulled a handful of gold coins out of the chest. “Do you know what makes gold valuable? It’s scarcity. We use gold as a currency because it is rare. Not everyone can have gold and that is what makes it valuable.” He let the coins tumble back into the chest. “But if everyone has gold then it becomes worthless.”

Councilor 1 pointed at the DEMON LORD. “That’s where you come in. We needed a challenge. A world altering event to shake up the whole economy.”

Councilor I paced the room. “We could have just raised taxes or increased interest rates, but ideas like that are so boring. We wanted something exciting. Something dangerous.”

“A world threatening scenario that requires everyone to get involved.” Councilor 1 nodded.

“A scenario where everyone has to spend money again or they’ll be left behind. An economy only works if people keep buying things.” Councilor A indulged him.

“You can't fight a Demon Lord with only a few monthly summons. Once the kingdom learns about this they’ll be paying for as many pulls as they can get.”

“It’s the perfect plan.” Councilor I pandered.

*Congratulatory handshakes*

Councilor A turned to the unconscious form of Luke still slumped over in his chair. “And what about him?”

Councilor 1 sneered. “Put him back to bed. He’s served his purpose. We’ll decide later if we still have any use for him.”

“Did you drug him?”

“No. That was fruit juice. I just told him that it was a rare drink. It appears that the mere suggestion of alcohol was enough to dull his senses.”

Ave steps forward from her position in a shadowy corner of the room. She collects Luke’s sleeping body, then leaves.

#

*Forward through the Mists of Time*

“So you were there the whole time?” Luke asked.

“Yes.” Ave responded.

“And they tricked me?”

“Yes.”

“You said that we had never met before.”

“I meant that we had never been formally introduced.” said Ave.

“But that means you work for the Council.” Luke recoiled. “Have you come here to kill me?”

Ash and Luke both leaned back in their chairs.

Ave looked back and forth. “No I don’t and no I’m not. Although, technically, yes… but not like you think.”

*Confusion*

Ave held up her hands. “Wait hold on, no to the second part and sort of to the first part.”

*Continued Confusion*

Ave recomposed herself. “What I mean to say is that I’m not here to kill you, but that I was, sort of am, working for the Council.”

“Okay.” Ash looked skeptical. He pulled Luke behind a menu. *Lowers voice*

said Luke.

“Not the waitress.” *Points to Ave* “Her!”

“Oh her. I guess she’s kind of cute. But she’s also very… hard to describe.”

Ave had an average build, an average complexion, and an average height. Her shoulder length hair was a color. It sometimes fell unobtrusively in front of her face. She didn’t seem to notice or mind. Despite wearing a breastplate and arming sword at her side Ave made hardly any sound when she moved.

“I’m not asking whether you think she’s cute or not I’m asking whether you think we should trust her.” said Ash.

“Oh? Sure.” Luke shrugged.

“Just like that?”

“Yeah. She said she wasn’t here to kill me.”

“She also didn’t say she wasn’t working for the Council.”

“Right. But you did say she could have called the guards anytime but she didn’t.”

“I know what I said.”

“Do you think we should trust her?”

“No.”

Luke shrugged. “Are you going to anyway?”

*Sigh* “For now.”

Ash lowered the menu. “We have decided to trust you.”

Ave was unconcerned with this information.

Ash continued. “For now.”

“But before we go any further answer one more question for me. I still don’t understand, why summon a Demon Lord?”

“I can answer that.” said Ave.

#

*Timeskip*

Councillor A speaking to himself. “Boy I sure do wish that we had an destructive antagonist that could menace the kingdom and that couldn’t be directly linked back to us.”

#

*Timejump*

Ave looked at the table. “That one didn’t require as much of an explanation.”

“I suppose that’s all my questions.” Ash looked thoughtful. “Now that we have a chance we should really come up with a…”

Ave leaned over the table and placed a hand on each of theirs. “As much as I love this current conversation I think we really should find somewhere else to speak.” Ave pointed with her chin towards the door of the Tavern. Ash and Luke turned to see two Capital Guards walk in and start scanning the room.

Ash and Luke slid down in their seats.

“Dog bollocks.” Ash cursed. “We’re really stuck in it now. Can you get us out of here?” He turned to Ave.

“No. The other Royal Guards don’t know that I’m here. And they might recognize Luke anyway.” she said.

Ash tried to shield his face with a menu. He waved to get the Waitress’s attention. She walked over to the table.

“Are you ready to order? What can I get started for you?” The Maid Waitress asked.

“Can we get food to go?” Luke asked.

Ash slapped Luke’s menu. “Ignore him. Is there a back exit to this restaurant? We’re trying to be discreet.”

“What are you talking about?” The waitress stood on her toes and eyed the Guards on the other side of the room. Then she crouched back down in front of Ash. “Are you in trouble?”

“Yeah. We’re… foreign dignitaries. On a secret mission.” Luke proposed.

The waitress crossed her arms.

“Ignore him, please.” Ash smiled. “What if we just give you some cash and you can say we were never here?”

The Waitress frowned.

“What he meant to say was that we’re… star crossed lovers. That’s it. We come from rival families and we can’t let them find out about our forbidden love.” Luke tried again.

“What?” The Waitress’s eyes lit up. “Is that true?”

Ash whispered behind the menu.

Luke sneakily spoke in response.

Ash played along. “I mean yeah. We’re in hiding. This guy here… I just love him so much sometimes I think I could strangle him. With love.”

“For true love I’ll help you for free.” said the Waitress.

“I don’t know about true love.” said Ash.

Luke elbowed him.

“I mean yes. True love. It’s a good thing we have true love,” *To himself* “Because I am out of money.”

The Waitress leaned over to whisper to them. “There’s a back exit just past the kitchen. We usually just keep cleaning supplies in there but you should be able to slip out.”

“Thanks for your help.” Ash turned to Luke and Ave. “You two rush out the back. I’ll try to slow them down.”

#

The Mustache Guard and Topknot Guard surveyed the room.

The Mustache Guard looked around the common room. “These gimmick taverns always annoy me. What’s wrong with serving simple food to simple people?”

Topknot Guard looked up from a menu. “There’s a special on appetizers. Did you want to share some onion rings?”

“No you dummy. We’re here on official business.”

“Well I officially don’t see anyone. So why don’t we get something to eat?”

“Shut up and do your job.” The Mustache Guard waved to the Waitress. “You there! Have you seen anyone suspicious come in here today?”

“What do you mean by suspicious?” The Waitress tilted her head.

“I mean someone that looked strange like they didn’t belong. Perhaps they were from out of town. Or they made unusual requests.” said the Guard.

The Waitress tilted her head in the other direction and looked the two Capital Guards up and down. “Uhhh…”

There was a *Clatter* from the door by the kitchen.

The Mustache Guard looked up. “What was that?”

“Nothing.” said the Maid Waitress.

“What’s back there?”

“Just some mops. It’s a mop closet.”

“Then what made that noise?”

“Some… mops?”

“Mops!?”

“They’re… noisy mops.”

“I’ll see about that.”

The Guard stomped over to the door. He grabbed hold of the handle and jerked it open.

*Bonk*

A mop handle tipped out of the doorway and fell on him.

*Bonk*

Then another did the same.

*Bonk*Bonk*Bonk*Bonk*Bonk*

A dozen mops, all tilted against the door, fell out in rapid succession.

“Ahhh! What is this?” He shouted.

The Waitress shook her head. “I warned you.”