Gacha Gacha Hero

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Ash looked at Luke with a completely blank expression on his face.

“Didn’t you hear me?” asked Luke.

“No. I heard you. I just don't have any clue what the hells you’re talking about. What is that? You said the Demon Lord?” Ash itched at his collar.

“It’s… it’s the Demon Lord! How have you not heard about this? We went over this in history class.”

“Did we? I must have been asleep during that one.” Ash scratched his neck.

“The Demon…” Luke lowered his voice. “The Demon Lord is the master of evil. He leads an army of horrible shadowbeast monsters. His arrival will usher in one thousand years of darkness.”

Ash blinked slowly. “Is this some kind of prank? I know that we haven’t seen each other in four years but this is unnecessary.”

Luke was trying to keep his voice under control. “I’m telling you it’s the truth. He’s a terrifying warlord. He’ll destroy the entire kingdom. And I… may have summoned him right into the Capital.”

Ash clicked his tongue at Luke. “Are you sure? This isn’t some dream or maybe a hallucination?”

“I promise you it’s not. It really happened. I… really made it happen. And now I’m in trouble. Please. I need your help.” Luke was on the verge of tears again.

“Aaaahhhh… Hahahahaha!” It started slow. An involuntary burst of air escaping his lungs. But then it started to build. Getting stronger and stronger until Ash let out a laugh so loud and so long that he even startled himself.

Luke stopped crying at the sudden outburst. He wiped one of his filthy sleeves against his face and snorted. “There’s no need to make fun of me.”

Ash saw that a blade of grass was now perfectly glued to Luke’s upper lip. Like a tiny green pencil mustache.

“Heeeh, Hahahahah!” He was overtaken by another wave of laughter.

Luke’s lip began to quiver. The blade of grass was shaken loose and drifted away on the wind. Luke looked like he was about to break out crying all over again.

Ash choked down his laughter. He tried to apologize. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to laugh at you like that. It’s just that this is the first time in, I think forever, that someone has come to me asking for help. It was such a crazy idea that I just couldn’t help but laugh.” Ash leaned over and tried to wipe some of the dirt off of Luke. “Forgive me won’t you?”

Luke accepted his help. “You’re right. This is all kind of silly when you think about it. I never would have imagined myself in this kind of situation either.” Luke’s face cracked a small smile. “Hehe. You’re right it is funny.”

The two of them shared a good natured laugh. *Haha* *Hoho*

Luke went back to wiping his face. “I feel a bit better now. I don’t even feel worried that the Royal Guards are searching for me.”

Ash ceased all frivolity. “What was that last part?”

“I feel a bit better?” said Luke.

“Not that! The part about the Royal Guards.”

“Right. The Royal Guards from the Capital are out looking for me.”

“Are you sure? Why?”

“Probably to arrest me.”

“For what?”

“For summoning the Demon Lord. Don’t you remember?”

“Right, right, whatever that means. Are you sure the Royal Guards are after you?” asked Ash.

“Pretty sure. There are some of them right over there.” Luke pointed behind him.

Ash spun around. Two, no wait, three people in polished metal armor were making their way through the market crowd. These were no mere adventurers. Their armor was decorated with gold filigree and the heraldry of the royal family. They had a serious look. They had a serious walk. Even their posture was serious. These were soldiers trained to stand around and look intimidating for long stretches of time without any consideration for their personal feelings.

“Those do look like Royal Guards. I’ve never seen any, but they do look it. And they’re not your escorts or something like that?” Ash crouched down involuntarily.

“No. I ran away from the Capital. I didn’t tell anyone where I was going.” Luke said.

“If they’re way out here in Star Town then there is definitely something strange going on.” Ash mused. He craned his neck to get a better look at the two-ish Guards.

“I told you they’re here for me.”

“We don’t know that for sure yet. Just keep calm for now.”

One of the guards made eye contact with Ash. Ash quickly spun around to face the other direction. He instantly regretted this action.

“Oh dog turds.” He hissed through his teeth.

“What? What’s wrong?” Luke asked.

“Who spins around in a crowded market when the guards are coming?” asked Ash.

“Who?”

“Guilty people that’s who!” Ash tried to keep his voice down.

“Then why did you do that?” Luke was doing his best to hide behind Ash.

“I don’t know!” Ash spun back around. The guards were both looking in his direction now.

Luke quietly asked.

Ash whispered in reply.

Ash hissed.

Luke defensively waved his arms over his head.

Luke looked at his feet.

Luke sounded scared.

“I should!” Ash raised his voice. Then he saw Luke’s dejected face.

Ash considered his options.

He spoke over his shoulder to Luke.

Luke continued to cower behind Ash.

#

“You there. We would like to have a word with you.”

A Gloved Guard and a Pauldron Wearing Guard walked around the edge of the fountain. Each of them were wearing tailor made uniforms with arming swords buckled at their waists.

The Gloved Guard had a serious look on his face. He seriously approached Ash and stood way too close for Ash to feel comfortable. Ash could feel a trickle of sweat run down the back of his neck.

Ash gave his best innocent smile. “Yes. Yes sir. How can I help you?”

The Gloved Guard continued. “We’re looking for someone. Maybe you’ve seen them?”

“No.” *Pause* “I mean probably not. Who, uh, who are you looking for?” Ash stammered.

The guard continued. “A young man. About your age. About your height. He’s got fine features and a clear complexion. He should be well dressed. He came from the Capital.”

“Nope. Haven’t seen anyone like that around here.”

“Are you sure?” The guard raised an eyebrow.

“Sure as sure.” Ash raised both eyebrows.

“Then what are you doing here?” The guard’s eyes narrowed.

“This is the marketplace. I am… selling goods.” Ash held a sack in his hands.

“What’s in the sack?” asked the Guard.

“Nothing.” said Ash.

“What?”

“I’m a merchant.” Ash held up a burlap sack. “A sack merchant.”

“Sack merchant?”

“I sell sacks.”

“You sell them?”

“That’s right. This is the marketplace. I have sacks. I sell them at the marketplace. I’m a sack merchant. It all fits together.”

“I’ve never heard of a sack merchant.”

“Haven’t you ever wondered where a sack of potatoes comes from? Or a sack of turnips? Sack of… corn? You need a sack. That’s us. We sell them.” Ash held the sack in his hands up a little higher.

“You don’t seem to have sold many.” The Gloved Guard looked down at the sack in Ash’s hands.

Ash looked down at the same sack. “They’re not very good.”

“And what about him?” The Gloved Guard pointed past Ash. Luke was standing just behind him.

“He’s my brother.”

“Why is he dressed like that?” The guard pointed at the burlap sack with arm holes in it that was covering Luke’s top half and the pile of rags that was covering his legs.

“Because we’re very… poor.” said Ash.

“Why is he wearing that sack on his head?” The guard pointed at the burlap sack that had been thrown over Luke’s head.

“He’s modeling our merchandise. We don’t have a stand in the market so he’s giving a demonstration.”

“Of your sacks?”

“Of our sacks.”

“Well tell him to take it off.” demanded the Guard.

“He doesn’t want to do that.” replied Ash.

“Why not?”

“For allergies.”

“Allergies?”

“You keep repeating me…” *Ash said under his breath*

“What was that?” The Gloved Guard yelled.

*Louder* “I said he wears the sack because he’s got very bad allergies. The sack helps keep the pollen and dander and… feathers away. The sack helps him breathe better.”

“The sack helps him breathe better?” The guard repeated.

Ash’s mouth formed a tight line. “Uh-huh.”

“Well tell him to take it off.”

“It’s really not good for his sinuses for him to…”

“I don’t care about his sinuses. If he doesn’t take off that sack in the next few seconds I’m going to arrest the both of you and send you straight to the dungeons!” The Gloved Guard halted his words for effect. “Now, take, it, off.”

Ash stepped over beside the masked figure next to him. The person covered with sacks looked nervously at Ash. Ash gave him a quick nod to say that it was okay.

Luke slowly removed the burlap bag from over his face.

“Now who are yoooouuuuu…! Oh gods! He’s hideous!” The guard held up his hands in shock.

Because the face beneath the mask was hideous. Layers of dirty dark dust dyed the top half of Luke’s head completely brown. A combined mixture of tears, sweat, and mucus had plastered hundred of errant strands of textile fiber to his neck and chin giving him a fake burlap beard. And where his skin was visible underneath all the other muck it was inflamed with an itchy raised red rash.

Luke involuntarily sneezed sending a cloud of crusty cloying cloth towards the Gloved Guard. The guard swatted his hands at the air trying to keep whatever germs he was imagining away from his precious face.

“Ahhh! Put it back. Put the bag back on!” The Gloved Guard hyperventilated.

“Are you sure?” Ash snarked back. “I thought we might give him a chance to breathe some fresh air.” He slapped Luke on the back.

Luke snorted then coughed. *Cough*Cough*Cough* Dust shook free from his hair like snow from a mountain cedar.

The Gloved Guard backpedaled some more.

The Pauldron Wearing Guard took a step back and looked annoyed. “We’ve wasted too much time on these two already. Let’s keep searching.”

“You’re right.” The Gloved Guard covered his mouth and turned to walk away. He shouted back at Ash and Luke. “He’s disgusting. Get him out of here.”

Ash grabbed the sacks and started leading the coughing Luke out of the marketplace. “We’re leaving right now sir. Good luck with your search.” *Under his breath* “You’re going to need it.”