LIGHTNOVELONLINE
Chapter 46: I'm Not A Heretic (4)
Karen, awakened out of nowhere, spoke with a face marked by shallower dark circles but stained with tears.
“Jonah. You really should become a priest.”
“I don’t want to.”
Evangelism. Troublesome.
My refusal came without hesitation, just like when I cursed the One Who Devours the Twilight.
Karen’s faith-filled gaze wavered.
“Please reconsider. I’m not saying you should become an inquisitor like me.”
“I still don’t want to. It’s bothersome to live by complex doctrines, and I’m not kind enough to live helping others. And, above all, to start now as an apprentice priest… Absolutely not. I have things I need to do with that time.”
The epitome of an immature response, yet entirely sincere. People of the Pan Continent, who lived as if the existence of God and religion were a given, might not understand…
But to me, coming from a non-religious background on Earth, priesthood was hardly an appealing profession.
Above all, I did not want a job closely associated with the Goddess of Love. Regardless of my fondness for her, the truth was that it felt unsettling.
Imagine this: one day, you write a novel, and one of the characters grabs you by the hair and drags you into the book.
How terrifying and horrific that would be. It’s as if writers weren’t already prone to balding. Well, of course, I had a full head of hair!
After hearing my explanation, Karen nodded, then tightly grasped my hand.
She clung to me earnestly, in the same posture she had while devoutly praying, making me waver for a moment.
As I blankly looked down at her, Karen continued in a confident voice.
“The doctrine is essentially a guide to understanding the teachings bestowed by the Goddess. It’s an unnecessary formality for someone like Jonah, who already understands and practices the will of the Goddess.”
“Eh.”
“There’s no need to go out of your way to help others or to live a good life. Compassion is a form of love, but it’s not the only form of love. You must know this well since you’ve received distributions. It’s always those same people at the distribution. It’s because only those who are committed to compassion get involved in the distribution at the temple.”
“It wasn’t because they were demoted…?”
“There’s no need to start over as an apprentice priest either. With my recommendation letter, you can become an official priest after just the basic training. I don’t know what you plan to do, but having the title of a priest won’t be a disadvantage.”
“Being a priest isn’t some kind of certification….”
It’s not a certification, but she had a point. In this world, being a priest was a sort of guarantee that the person had passed the basic test of character and had received some form of education.
Yet, despite all those merits, I still didn’t want to get involved with the goddess.
Maybe later, but not yet. It wasn’t the right time.
So, once again, I sent a plea for help with my eyes to Ellie and Lydia. Since she was holding my hands, it wasn’t possible to hide behind someone like before.
“…Uh.”
Ellie, frozen by the sudden change in situation, finally snapped back to reality. On the other hand, Lydia was…
“Nobility…Revenge…One Who Devours the Twilight…Twisted emotions. Goddess…But despite all that, in the end….”
It was hard to urge her because she was muttering something seriously to herself.
Why was she acting like that all of a sudden? I don’t know why, but Lydia seems to have broken down, too.
While I sighed inwardly, Ellie quickly approached and grabbed Karen’s hand, pulling it away.
“Stop it. Jonah said he doesn’t like it.”
“But didn’t you just see? This person must walk the path of a priest!”
“All I see is a grown woman forcing a young boy against his will.”
“Oh….”
Only then did Karen, seemingly a bit calmer, let go of my hand. I immediately hid behind Ellie, peeking just my head out.
“Thank you for the offer, but I have things I must do.”
“…Is that so? May I ask what they are?”
“Of course. First, I owe something to Ellie and Miss Lydia, so I need to repay that.”
“If it’s money, I can pay it off for you.”
“No. It’s important that I repay it myself. In Ellie’s case, it’s the kind of debt that can’t be repaid with money.”
“What kind of debt is it that you speak of?”
Karen was puzzled. Ellie, too, initially tilted her head in confusion but soon straightened her ears and tail as if she had understood.
…I’m not sure what she’s thinking, but that seemingly significant reaction was helpful. I should make use of it.
Karen’s eyes could only see emotion. So, it’s more important to harbor the right emotions than to tell a clever lie.
I subtly lowered my eyes and set my emotions. What came to mind were the jokes we often shared between us. And then, a bit of sincerity.
Relief towards the first trustworthy person I met in this world. The kindness I received when I was at my lowest. With all these feelings of gratitude, I opened my mouth.
“Actually…when I was having a tough time, I received a lot of help from Ellie. Even now, I’m living in Ellie’s house for cheap, getting meals, enjoying various conveniences, and she even put in a request to Miss Lydia to train me as an adventurer….”
“Lydia?! You told that to Jonah?”
“Temple…conflict…knight…oath is absolute…even voluntary….”
Of course, Lydia was still out of it, so she couldn’t hear Ellie’s voice.
Karen glanced over the two and nodded.
“She’s a good person.”
“Right. So, I gave it a lot of thought. How could I repay this kindness? And you know what Ellie said…?”
I trailed off, looking at Ellie as if to check if it was really okay to say it.
Of course, Ellie, who hadn’t received any hint, just stared blankly back at us.
Covering my mouth with my hand, I whispered as if sharing a secret.
“She said not to worry because she would make me repay with my body when I grow up. I also thought that seemed fine, so I said okay.”
“…Pardon?”
“I said that…?”
Karen’s head was tilted as if she couldn’t understand what she had just heard, and Ellie seemed genuinely flustered.
Before Ellie could explain, I quickly added,
“I’m sorry. I already belong to Ellie, so I cannot return to the embrace of the goddess.”
“……!”
Karen’s eyes widened as if struck by lightning. Then, she slowly turned to look at Ellie.
“What, what! It’s not like that! Hey, Jonah! Why are you suddenly saying weird things?! You’re causing a misunderstanding!”
Her yellow eyes wavered aimlessly, and her tail drooped.
Though I don’t possess holy abilities like Karen, I could still understand what Ellie was feeling right now.
Panic. And anxiety.
The typical reaction of someone caught doing something wrong.
Karen’s expression twisted in various ways before she glanced at me and sighed.
“…I understand for now. You have a great debt on your mind and wish to focus on that, right?”
“Yes!”
“Then, I will step back for now…but remember, my offer always stands.”
Karen nodded her head and pulled out a small heart-shaped ornament from her bosom. Seeing how the silver was so shiny, it looked quite expensive.
“Carry this with you, and if you mention my name at the temple, you will receive the treatment you rightfully deserve.”
“Thank you! I’m not sure if I’ll use it, but I’ll cherish it!”
“…That’s enough.”
With a troubled expression, Karen called to Ian, who was clutching his head, trying to understand the current situation.
“Ian. The mission is over, so we’ll be returning. We can’t afford any more delays, especially with so much to do.”
“But, but…”
“No buts. Let’s go.”
“…Yes, ma’am.”
Reluctantly following Karen, Ian turned around once more and then bowed his head.
As I waved to them lightly, it wasn’t long before they disappeared into the crowd.
Yes. Even though Ellie suddenly became trash who leashed up a pretty-faced orphan and raised them with gaslighting!
Even though I became a pitiful victim who was tricked and fell for Ellie!
Anyway, I succeeded in warding off what would have been seriously persistent evangelism.
I guess they saw something similar to the qualities of a priest in the way I faced the world…
But it wasn’t like matters of the world could be resolved with talent alone. Effort was required for results to emerge.
In the case of a priest, that was faith. And faith, after all, came from sincerity.
Whether it’s about qualities or whatever, I had to have stepped back because I felt I couldn’t sincerely accept the goddess yet.
Of course, she probably hadn’t completely given up. I don’t know what sort of enlightenment she gained, but Karen suddenly awakened something, hadn’t she?
Having experienced something directly and having seen something, she might cling quite persistently.
For example… instead of changing the route and directly taking me to the temple, she might try to recruit me by gradually winning over my heart.
Well. Even if that’s the case, that would be a matter for later! Right now, I should just enjoy the freedom from escaping such annoying matters!
“Great for you, Ellie! It’s a relief that you don’t have to send me away to the temple, right?”
“…Considering that I’ve sacrificed my social reputation, I don’t really feel like I’ve gained anything.”
“Hey! How can you say you gained nothing? You got me, Jonah, didn’t you? That’s definitely a profitable deal!”
“It was forced onto me…!”
Ellie sobbed slightly.