Futile Love

Your Highness Crown Princess. That was true.

This little lady in his arms was the crown princess, the official wife of his elder brother Crown Prince Bipaan. He was hurt when he mentioned her official title casually, and he was about to put her down when she said, “Shush!”

She held her index finger and put it before her lips. She narrowed her eyes and said, “You should keep it as a secret from the Crown Prince.”

“Secret?”

“I am not supposed to do anything that could stand in his way. He might scold me severely. He lets me do whatever I want to, but he told me never to stand in the way of his career. He told me twice.”

“I see.”

Ruhae thought it was exactly like Bipaan to give her such an order. Obviously, his elder brother told this little tender-hearted lady in a cold voice, which Ruhae could imagine vividly. Without knowing how pitiful Ruhae thought her, she still grumbled about Bipaan.

“He told me to do whatever I wanted to but ordered me not to stand in the way of his career. If that’s true, he isn’t allowing me to do anything I wanted to do, right? Even now, I would like to climb a tree, but my behavior will cause trouble to the Crown Prince if someone notices me climbing a tree and reports it to the Crown Prince, right?”

“I agree. It’s dangerous, and your behavior is problematic.”

“That’s why I want to ask you to keep it to yourself. Never, ever tell the Crown Prince. I’m scared of his scolding.”

“Sure, let me just keep it to myself.”

Ruhae answered with difficulty. Though it was not a difficult promise, he got excited when he heard the word ‘secret’. He had never realized how sweet this word was. He wanted to keep piling up new secrets with her, secrets only he and she knew.

Instead of letting him get lost in his thoughts, she changed the topic quickly.

“By the way, why is it so hard to see you? I’ve come to the back garden every day to see you in vain, and only today I have met you.”

“Are you sure you want to meet me?” Ruhae asked with a pain in his heart.

He gazed at her with a surprised expression. Instead of avoiding his eyes, she looked him in the eye honestly. She didn’t hesitate to open her adorable lips.

“Yes, I really felt it a regret that I couldn’t see you here.”

His heart throbbed with joy because of her too candid reply. “Oh, I didn’t know that.”

“Though I got pretty used to playing alone, I felt bored and lonely when I came here alone every day, so I missed you.”

Maybe that was the main reason, he thought. He felt she missed his face sometimes simply because he treated her kindly in this lonely palace.

“Because you’re my first friend here in the imperial palace,” she said.

“Friend.”

Yes, that’s what he expected. What could she expect of him? He fell into low spirits at that moment, but he wanted to venture on a guess about her straightforward expression. Controlling his desire, he replied casually.

“I don’t come here for a walk often because I’m busy carrying out my official duties. But I always come to this hill when I feel like visiting the back garden.”

“Oh, can I see you if I wait here?”

“Yes, though I can’t promise you.”

He took pains to repeat in his head that she was not the woman he could make a promise to.

Staring at her, he then looked up at the sky.

“If the heavens allow me.”

Though he wanted to see her, he always relied on an accidental encounter like this. That’s why he blamed the heaven for his disrespectful longing for her.

***

Finally, Kyosul settled into a daily routine. Every morning she visited Dongchon Palance to offer morning greetings to Bipaan. Though there was no such etiquette in her motherland, she performed it persistently. That was a duty she was committed to as the Crown Princess. Around lunch time, she stayed at her residence in the East Palace. In the late afternoon, she headed for the outer palace. Sometimes she met the friend who pleased her at the library of the outer palace but usually in the back garden of the outer palace. As she didn’t make any promise in advance to meet him, she failed to see him sometimes, but accidental encounters gave her a greater pleasure.

Several days passed. This morning, too, she visited Dongchon Palace without failure. Bipaan got used to it, too. By the time she arrived at the palace, he closed the book and waited for her, sitting on a chair. She looked brighter than she did on the first day. Everytime she came to see him, Bipaan hardly said anything, but she was getting used to it as she saw him often. At first, she stood up after greeting him awkwardly, but she gradually began to talk to him more. Today, too, she brought up a new topic.

“Do you take strolls in the back garden of the outer palace?”

He nodded silently, but she could see her question aroused his interest. Like her, he was also getting more and more familiar to her. As she was such a cheerful lady, her presence stood out in his boring daily routine.

“I visit the back garden of the outer palace very often these days. In fact, I like the back garden better than the library.”

Bippan thought she might like it. Even though she sat with diffidence quietly before him now,

she was of such a cheerful disposition that she was more like a tomboy than a virtuous and faithful woman in the royal women’s quarters. That’s why he thought it strange when she asked him about the library first. As she was straightforward and candid about expressing her feelings, it was easy for him to size her up.

“And there I have met a friend.”

“…Friend?”

His eyebrows subtly trembled at that, but she didn’t notice it at all. She got carried away with his unusual interest in her words. For he had never responded to her remarks before. Excited by his response, she passionately told him about what happened.

“I met him by chance at the library of the outer palace, and he showed me the back garden there. After that, I went there and met him sometimes to cultivate a friendship with him. I just don’t know how he feels about it when I call him a friend.”

He didn’t respond at all whether he listened to her or let her words in one ear and out the other. Nonetheless, she continued in excitement, “By the way, when I arrived in the Mok Kingdom, he was the man who greeted me. He was so kind. That day, too, he escorted me to the back garden to soothe me when I was scared in this strange place. At that time, I didn’t know it was the back garden of the outer palace.”

Kyosul continued to babble on her accidental encounter with Ruhae. Bipaan felt she made a bright expression just because she mentioned that friend. But he didn’t like the fact that when she talked about her friend, she became cheerful and bright, forgetting her fear of him. Today of all days her cheerful voice got on his nerves.

Above all, he recalled the eunuch’s message on the day she arrived in the Mok Kingdom.

<The First Princess of the Hwa Kingdom has arrived, and the Prince allegedly received her.>

He knew that the very person she mentioned as her friend was none other than Ruhae. When he thought as far as that, he stopped her with an icy look.

“Crown Princess!”

“Yes, Your Excellency?”

His short and sharp voice made her freak out. She teared up at that moment but tried to fight back tears and focused on him.

“Don’t loiter around in the back garden unnecessarily. You should always remember that this is the very strict imperial palace which is quite different from the palace of the Hwa Kingdom where you enjoyed wandering around thoughtlessly. You never know what consequences your reckless stroll there will bring about. Don’t make me repeat what I already told you. How many times do I have to tell you to make you understand my point?”

He clicked his tongue with a deep sigh.

“Oh my…”

She thought he got interested in her words, but his interest was not the kind of she thought. She was just ashamed of herself, who excitedly talked about his friend.

Surely he wanted to reprimand me.

Only a moment ago she freely talked whatever she wanted to say, but she now got cold feet before his stern warning.

“I’m so sorry.”

“Make sure they don’t gossip about you behind your back. Do I need to remind you of the basic thing that you should be prudent in your conduct? You are now not the only princess of a small kingdom but the Crown Princess as well as a member of our royal family.”

“Yes, I’ll keep it in mind all the time.”