Forgotten Dungeon

It was a day like any other. Sitting down on the couch, playing some video games, getting supper ready, these kinds of mundane thoughts were on his mind today. It was Friday after all and work was already done for the week. No overtime too.

That’s why the sudden surge of black color caught him unaware. He only managed to feel a bit of pain as a slightly fat and pale figure collapsed on the floor. There was no time to scream for help, or even react.

In retrospect, living this type of life - alone, feeding on ready-to-eat meals, and without any exercise - may have been a mistake. Yup. After all, it was death - right here right now the remorse was overwhelming… not.

There was always a bit of apathy inside - this ‘lack of ambition’ as his boss and coworkers described it. He always answered resolutely that his priorities were simply different. It was true - in a way - this specific strain of carpe diem bordered on self-destruction.

So death wasn’t really that scary. Well, there were regrets. About not asking out that lively girl from the apartment next door. About his loans which he hadn’t managed to repay. About his internet history which he didn’t remember to clean… Well, I guess Murphy’s Law rears its ugly head.

Maybe he wasn’t as ready as he was thinking, but it was in the past… he would somehow ferry over to whatever afterlife awaited. Why afterlife? He didn’t believe in any religious crap that he was fed from morning to night. Working with machines made him desensitized to such ideas. Still, the facts were easily recognized. Here he was, floating above the meatbag that was his former body, waiting for something to happen. Now that he looked over himself it seemed that while he looked rather okay in the mirror (on the lower scale of ‘okay’, but still) in reality his face and especially his body were neglected. It was all too late though.

And for a long time, nothing happened. After getting a bit worried he tried to float away (up first, thinking about heaven, but then down - just to escape this limbo), but quickly understood that he was bound to the place of his death. Worse, what was left of the body started to smell and rot. The telephone came to life a few times until its battery died. I’m pretty sure these were calls from work. I’m still on no-speaking terms with my family. Well, was. I’m pretty sure there will be no getting back into this rotten flesh unless I get turned into a zombie. He smirked, even though the situation was not funny at all. But that was how he always was - slow, but easily adaptable. Maybe lazy was the better word?

It was only after a week passed that his neighbors connected the dots and called the police and ambulance. Some shouting and knocking on his door later, his home was broken into, and the desiccated and rotting body was discovered.

He floated around, taking in the various horrified expressions, even the young policeman who ran out to empty the contents of his stomach. It didn’t register. He'd spent a lot of time locked in with a corpse, even if it was his own body lying there. As he looked over some paramedics came in and lifted him delicately onto their stretcher. Then, after covering him with a cloth they slowly left the room. He followed the procession and promptly bumped his head on an invisible barrier that blocked him from leaving his former home.

Contrary to his expectation it wasn’t that unnerving. Shouldn’t he be more… worried?

[Something smells here and it isn’t my body.] He joked to himself, for the first time in a week speaking out loud. Well, speaking was a big word - without vocal cords, lungs, and all this jazz this was more like the VR simulation he was reading about. To his (mild) surprise somebody answered.

[Oh, so you really weren’t one of the Lost. Crap, that makes things complicated.] The voice was neither young nor old. It had the lack of tension that he associated with machines, but also something more.

[Huh? Who are you? Maybe what are you should be a better question?] he asked, sizing up the wisp of light floating near his face. Yet the being was completely in its world.

[The process of dissipation has already begun. They really fucked up upstairs, huh?] It swayed around with a sense of schadenfreude, bobbing in what seemed like anger. [I told them - the chances are high enough, send somebody! But nooo… we don’t have enough resources, it’s like a 5% gamble. Bureaucrats!] It huffed in annoyance.

[Ummm… sorry?]

[Yes?! I’m thinking, don’t disturb me, vessel!]

[Maybe just a question or two? I’m pretty lost right now…]

[Haha! Lost, you say? For this pun alone you can ask. The answers are another thing altogether though.]

Wow, what a dick. He thought but decided to take his chance. [Then - what’s going to happen to me and who you are?]

[Huh, still quite attached to your mortality? I was thinking that a person like you wouldn’t care. The strangest things…] it murmured but stopped seeing his expression. [Yeah, yeah, I guess it's in your welcome packet anyway. Even if somebody upstairs fucked up.] it murmured, but not quietly enough to escape his ears. Maybe it was never meant to.

[What?] He asked noncommittally. To tell the truth, it wasn’t such a big deal.

[Okay. So the short version... After death, all souls that survive the ordeal - and understand that not many do that since the shock is pretty big - are collected and sent to the cycle of reincarnation on Earth or just made into angels and demons and other, more kinky things. And there are procedures for that and it seems like somebody frecked up yours...]

[So it’s a bureaucratic error?] He asked incredulously. It was ridiculous enough to break even through his apathy.

[Yeah, you can call it that.] The wisp of light visibly deflated.

[So why aren’t you fixing it?] This question struck the being and after a minute of silence, it responded in a serious tone.

[It’s not so easy… You see we collect souls, so-called vessels, fast not because we love perfection, but because they turn useless after some time. Evil ghosts, poltergeists, possessions… let’s say they’re not completely unreal.]

[If I had a body I would start sweating. Yet somehow I don’t care?] He answered while looking at the floating wisp.

[Yup, these are the first symptoms. Apathy, dissipation of care, and mortal bonds. At least you’re not the crying or raging kind. Thank the divines for small favors.]

[So what now?]

[We get creative of course! While such a soul can’t be used in our system it’s only when considering ordinary reincarnation! I need to make a few calls. Please wait.] Wisp stopped looking at his interlocutor and his white light turned slightly grey. It slurred some words which seemed like greetings in a multitude of languages, some seemed even outside human ability to hear… Well, I’m not human anymore, so why do I care? After half an hour wisp tone started to sound more and more strained. In the end, it answered somebody with clear gratitude and ended his “call”.

[Okay… it’s not ideal, but there is this small god constellation where they can use you. Sorry. I can’t get anything better.]

[So what’s the gig?] He asked, not thrilled at all.

[Dungeon core on one of the planets. I’ll be honest with you - the gods out there pretty much screwed both themselves and the inhabitants. It’s slowly getting towards the apocalyptic proportions, with two magical wars pretty much mutating most of flora and fauna… and sapient races going apeshit on each other…] Its voice trailed off at the end.

[Two questions: how does that affect me and are there no other options?]

[Yup, there aren’t many things that a vessel of your quality and dissipation state can do. And dungeon cores are pretty much on the low-down anyway.] There was something like a sigh. [Dungeons are used for two purposes - to filter out the mana in the atmosphere and to give resources to sapients on this world. As such you’re supposed to help them survive and grow. Maybe even save the planet?] It added with a tiny voice.

[I guess there isn’t much choice.] He mumbled to himself, deliberately letting himself be heard. [No need to hesitate. Send me in, captain!]

[Yes! I appreciate your cooperation! I hope that after your core is destroyed you will choose to use our company again!] Wisp bobbed up and down, reciting the formula. Some of the words poked the last embers of curiosity, but the young man's spirit only managed a moment of thought.

[What do you meaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa…] he screamed before getting sucked into some kind of a black hole.

[At least this one was reasonable. It was worth those few calls… at least there isn’t any mark on my spotless record.]

[Paidel Solomon of the Fallen Angels! What are you doing here?!] Another voice broke the silence, but only a low laugh answered it, echoing.

In the meantime future, the dungeon core was being transported away from Earth while screaming in his mind. Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuu--. I never asked for the name of the planet. There will be a tutorial, right? And maybe some hot chick fairy, like in light novels… Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight?

But there was only silence.