Chapter 172: Florida Man Breaks into Local Authority's Mansion with Sherman Tank, Strips in House Owner's Bedroom, and Flash His Naked Butt in Front of Local Female Knight
The tank thundered down the driveway toward the opulent manor's entrance. With a deafening crash, it barreled through the main doors. Chains snapped and the once-imposing iron gates crumbled under the tank's weight as its tracks ground over them, flattening the entrance with ease.
Inside, the household staff scattered in every direction, fleeing for their lives. A few nimble servants scaled the fences and vanished silently into the night, while the more elderly and feeble remained, trembling on the pathway, hands raised in submission.
Felix halted the tank and peered out, noticing the elderly butlers and maids kneeling before him. Although he had no hesitation in murdering his enemies, he felt no inclination to harm defenseless old servants.
"Clear the road, please. If you're surrendering, find the paladins at the back. Just… don't try talking to the lady over here. She might decide to snack on you."
Diana slithered on the tank and overheard Felix. She pouted and protested, "I'm not a man-eating monster, darling."
"Well, the townsfolk seem convinced you are. So, just act the part for a bit, will you?"
With a sigh of reluctant amusement, Diana clambered over the turret and gave a dramatic hiss, baring her fangs.
The elderly maids shrieked, and the older men were stunned. They quickly ushered them away from the tank. Following Felix's suggestion, they hurried toward the rear guard of female paladins who welcomed them, promising protection and guiding them safely to the cathedral.
With the road clear, Felix resumed his advance, driving the tank straight through a grand maze garden. Ornamental hedges, rare flowers, and manicured topiaries were crushed beneath the tank's treads.
Finally, they reached the manor's front entrance. Without pausing, Felix kept pressing the accelerate button, slamming the tank into a marble pillar, which supported a second-floor balcony.
The ornate column shattered upon impact, but fragments halted as they collided with the tank's invisible barrier. Next, the tank smashed into the double doors and surged into the lobby, demolishing walls as it tore through the manor's grand interior.
The interior was as luxurious as it could be. Exotic paintings, antics, giant vases, marble statues, and multiple sets of knight armor filled the lobby.
Yet, despite the grand entry, there were no guards or servants to greet them.
Only a young man clad in ornate golden armor stood at the top of a sweeping staircase. His gaze fixed on the approaching tank. With a sneer, he lifted his visor and assessed Felix with undisguised disdain.
"A Sherman tank?" he muttered, surprised. "Looks like we've got a fellow Earthling, or maybe you're the hack behind those pathetic guns I've been hearing about. Too bad you picked the wrong person to mess with!"
He unsheathed his bastard sword, which gleamed as a golden aura enveloped it. His energy surged, elevating him from a 5-star to a 7-star aura knight—a level on par with the strongest warriors Felix had faced.
With a flourish, he pulled a massive tower shield from his inventory, slammed it onto the marble floor, and shouted, "Leave now, while you still can! This manor is under my protec—"
*BOOM!*
Before he could finish, a shell blasted from the tank's turret. Its concussive force ripped through the room, knocking the young man off his feet and slamming through the wall behind him. An explosion followed, engulfing the staircase in smoke and flames, leaving only a smoldering wreck where he once stood.
Felix didn't hear the blabbering. He switched the control to the machine gun and pulled the trigger.
The barrels span, warming up. It hailed a barrage onto the stranger.
*TATATATATATATATA*
The man was ripped into shredded even though he claimed to be immune to the firearms. Felix didn't bother confirming his kill as he scanned through the threat map.
Instantly, Felix spotted over a hundred red dots within the mansion. He then ordered Diana.
"Go search the mansion. I detect multiple hostile people or units within this building, but I don't see any allies on my radar. I want everybody killed."
"As you wish, darling."
Diana made her move, slamming through the nearby door and slithering toward a residential area of the maids and servants. Within seconds, a loud commotion followed as she started laying waste.
Felix got out of the tank as he couldn't drive anywhere. He brought out a gun and walked up the stairs, approaching the so-called Earthling.
Upon getting closer, Felix found the man's corpse. He was already dead from the tank's shell earlier.
His gold tower shield was crushed. His head was no longer intact as it had been destroyed by the machine gun. The previously glowing armor no longer emitted light as the bullets left behind multiple potholes in it.
As the scraps seemed useful, Felix kicked the corpse, collecting the entire thing to his inventory. Then, he removed the corpse, dissecting him for a fate crystal and mana.
*DING*
<You have obtained an Earth Fate Crystal!>
'So much for a protagonist syndrome.'
Felix shook his head as this guy was too cocky for someone who possessed an inferior fate crystal. He then checked the gold armor scraps, checking its worth.
…
Broken Armor of Aura Resistance
This armor was crafted by a talented blacksmith slave Jagged Beard before he was sold to another master. Due to the improper maintenance and negligence of the owner, it failed to perform 30% of what it could do before it was destroyed by a superior weapon.
…
Felix raised an eyebrow as he felt like he wondered if the new member of his island was also a blacksmith. He kept the scraps with him for now, hoping to bring the entire set to Jagged Beard and have him repair it.
While Felix was busy with the corpse, the group of paladins charged into the house and found the carnage. They rushed to Felix.
"Benefactor! Are you alright?"
Felix turned around and counted their people. He thought of the large mansion and came up with an idea.
"Good timing. I need you to help me search the perimeter. I've detected at least a hundred hostile entities within the mansion, but they seem to be in hiding. Help me search for them."
Hearing that they would get a chance for revenge, the Paladin girls were overjoyed. They saluted, raising their swords, "Of course. In the name of Eleanor, we shall punish those evil heretics!"
The others also chanted, "FOR THE GODDESS!"
"FOR THE GODDESS!"
Felix rolled his eyes. He had the urge to search his system shop and look for a certain set of Space Marine's battlesuits. If some 8-foot girl existed and claimed to be a paladin, he might force her to put the armor on and cosplay for fun.
As Felix didn't want to overly rely on the paladins, who had lost the fight against the local lord before, he stopped them. Discover hidden stories at m,v l'e|m-p| y r
"Wait. Come back first."
The excited paladins stopped in their tracks. They turned around in confusion.
"What is it, benefactor?"
Felix ejected a mountain of M1 Garand, which had been pre-loaded with two magic bullets each. He instructed them.
"These weapons work similarly to the ones that your enemies are using. Does anybody know how to use it?"
One of them raised her hand, "I know. I managed to steal one before and learned of its function."
"Good. Help me teach your people how to use them. Take two each. Remember, each gun can only fire twice! Once you used up the ammo, throw it away."
"UNDERSTOOD!"
The girls orderly walked forward. Each took two rifles and carried them with them. Some sheathed their swords and holstered the weapons as if they had handled these weapons before.
Felix was relieved that they knew what they were doing. He then rushed to explore the second floor, where the majority of hostile people had been gathering.
Opening one of the doors, Felix found a long corridor. He looked at the system map and spotted 20 red dots at the end of the hallway.
Rushing forward, Felix brought out two charged spirit stones. Reaching the door, he kicked them open and tossed the two handmade grenades inside.
"WHAT?!"
"ENEMIES!"
The panicking voice came from the inside. Following the voice, two explosive grenades erupted.
*BOOM*
*BOOM*
Felix brought out his automatic rifle and rushed in. Without checking their strength level, he started blasting, spraying bullets as greetings.
Middle-aged men in frilly clothes and their bodyguards received a few holes in their chests and collapsed. A brave aura knight ignored the gun and charged forward, raising his sword, which had been cladded with his 5-star aura.
He swung down, aiming to slice Felix in half!
Felix snorted as he casually took a step back. However, the aura sword projected an energy wave, extending from the sword. It spread and sliced Felix's helmet and bulletproof vest!
A shallow wound appeared on Felix's face, chest, and body. However, it failed to penetrate his second layer of skin.
Felix smacked his lips and took a step forward. He seized the knight's visor and circulated his fire mana.
*FWOOSH*
The knight's helmet and his head were ignited aflame. He screamed in horror for a second before the metal melted while his blood and brain were fried black.
Felix scoffed and took a short break, bringing out a potion bottle and taking a sip. He also adjusted his clothes as his pants and belt got vertically cut. Unfortunately, he had to change his entire clothes.
Annoyed, Felix scrapped his clothes and brought out a new set to wear.
But while he was changing clothes, a paladin rushed over to assist.
"Benefactor! I heard a loud noise. Did you…"
The paladin saw a butt-naked man, who was about to wear a new set of pants. She stared at his assets and gulped.
Although she was a paladin, she had never experienced a man before. She couldn't avert her eyes from the jewel.