Filthy Gamer in Narutoverse

Kyo Uchiha, once the hand-picked Kunoichi-turned-maid, now sat beside Yata. Though Mikoto's stepmother, none bore ill-will to another. Although Kyo may have never planned for this to happen, no woman would have stayed in this duty of 'cheering' the lord without any hopes. When Mikoto had caught them and actually berated the couple as to why they wouldn't just have another child instead of WHY her father would even be with a maid like some regular teenager would, things were... awkward until Kyo did bear the fruits of Yata's labor in the form of 9-pound moon pie that slept after filling his diapers and suckling her breasts to pistachios.

The family sat on one side of the table with Kyo and Yata sitting on the side and Mikoto in the center, revealing their intention of 'protecting' Mikoto.

Meanwhile, before Kai could sit on Tsunade's lap to feel equally protected, his shin was flicked with super strength and thus, the youth 'peacefully' sat beside Tsunade.

Five cups of green tea were placed in front of everyone before Kyo had eventually settled with Mikoto already shifting the bouquet to a spare vase that decorated the low table as the group continued to seat themselves over on flat cushions in seiza positions.

After a few moments of silence, Yata exhaled softly and spoke, "It's better to not look away from the concerns that will most definitely pose problems should this continue. While Senju Clan is known to beat their lovers in public until they pass out, we take such matters seriously."

Tsunade's brows twitched as she knew Yata was referring to beat-up Dan a few years ago.

"Well, the Senju Clan's member has never feared showing people their place be they, lovers or enemies," Tsunade narrowed her eyes.

THIS was absolutely unnecessary in Kai's and Mikoto's eyes since they just wanted to hang out together for now but they could understand why their 'elders' would want to discuss the future in a responsible manner. But the same 'elders' making it a pissing contest was unneeded.

Yet, the leaders digressed.

The pissing contest was their RIGHT!

Yata narrowed his gaze, too, as he was reminded of his ancestor's failures.

"The Uchiha and Senju together... will raise trouble that neither you nor I can imagine. My elders are already going ballistic but I suppose your clan's advisors are probably too busy watering trees to even think straight," Yata picked up his cup and took a sip.

"Well, it's either having balls or going ballistics," Tsunade picked the cup, too, while others almost choked on the non-existent nuts that Tsunade shoved down their throats with her remark, "Besides, growing sturdy trees is a practice to nurture sturdier future generation and..."

She looked out, seeing the thin-trunked tree in the courtyard meant for direction. Instead of speaking further, she let out an amused hum which was just as damaging.

"You're suggesting that your clan is absolutely fine with... this?" Yata frowned.

"I'm saying, I'm the matriarch. My will is what they will follow. That is my Senju Clan," Tsunade set the cup down and Kai finally felt a deep root of envy in Yata who set his cup down while exhaling in defeat.

"Hah..." exhaling a long sigh, Yata suddenly chuckled, "Now that's an answer I expected to hear from the Inuzuka clan and not Senju."

It was clear that Yata wasn't done cause he just called her a Bitch indirectly.

Growing silent for a second and closing his eyes, Yata let out a low hum as if deep in thought while Mikoto grew nervous. She liked Kai. She didn't know when it started but she knew he was everything her father wanted except... a non-Uchiha. But, she wanted to be 'carried' out with Pride and certain respect— not restricted with so many seals that she couldn't even breathe. It was either that... waiting, or stop pursuing this 'dream' in itself because she wasn't raised a traitor and she would never do something to hurt her clan just for her own satisfaction.

"While I respect the unity displayed by the Senju, I wish I could produce a similar result. Should Mikoto marry outside of the clan, my successor or not, she must have her eyes safeguarded. In light of your Legacy Guardian's desires, the clan will also be responsible for training their offsprings for the first five years."

'So... sealed eyes and given they don't have much skill in this regard compared to the Hyuga, it's pretty much sealing the sharingan itself and... taking control of children to raise them loyal to the Uchiha before me or Mikoto...'

{A/N: Loyalty runs deep in Uchiha, so much so, that Itachi killed his family for his loyalty to Konoha.}

Tsunade's expression grew gloomy while Mikoto's expression grew downcast without any other show on her face. Kai, on the other hand, noted that even the Step Mother felt sad.

Wasn't that surprising?

But Yata wasn't finished yet, "The Uchiha clan also expects the Legacy Guardian of the current Senju Matriarch to announce that he will take no other woman of any established clan, and those who enter his arrangement must never be the official wife. Mikoto's children are to be considered his direct successors."

Kai grew silent but angry? No, he wasn't angry. This is just the way of Shinobi. All of them need assurances in every manner. That's all. And if he ever expects to have clan ladies for the 'grind', instead of being a little bitch and attacking these policies like a butt-hurt cunt, Kai wished to overcome these issues directly in a manner more peaceful. After all— Happy Wife, Happy Life.

Tsunade silently considered the situation as Mikoto continued to look at Kai with a wry and remarkably sad smile.

Meanwhile, returning a reassuring smile, Kai silently thought about the situation, too. If he had all the answers, he wouldn't be here holding his own balls.

"So..." Tsunade tried to word the situation in the most basic terms, "the Uchiha clan wants to be the governing policy of his relationship with everyone and anyone?"

"Indeed," Yata nodded. Kai was talented, and unlike what others might expect, many elders were happy about Mikoto's union with Kai now that there was Sarachi. Of course, a union penned in their own terms.

Things would have been simpler if Mikoto was open to deceiving her clan but she wasn't and honestly, Kai was glad. He didn't choose a traitorous hoe.

Kai took a deep breath and muttered. He wasn't here to make a ruckus so he kept it simple and expressed himself concisely, "What the Uchiha clan desires are in direct conflict with my dream and Mikoto's wishes."

"There is another way, of course," Yata smiled, "You marry into the Uchiha Clan. You shall be allowed to have your 'dream' as long as Mikoto is the only wife. Of course, your affiliations with Senju and Uzumaki clan will come to an end and you will be considered a vassal to the Uchiha Clan."

Tsunade scoffed rightly at this. She didn't keep Kai 'hidden' from the village's higher up for him to be swept away in this manner.

'Man... the best plan I can think of it is becoming the damn Hokage and then rightly demand women...' Kai's expression grew noticeably wry as Mikoto felt equally awkward but she had steeled her heart for such a talk.

Every gaze fell on Kai. No matter their own thoughts, they did want to hear what he had to say because whether he liked it or not, it wasn't Mikoto's position that complicated things as much as he did.

And yet, the most important question was... is Mikoto even worth the trouble?

Beauty, cheerful, humorous, pouty, sweeter than honey, able to cook— which many kunoichi couldn't, and loyal to the boot.

Kai considered her worth every trouble.

Matching Mikoto's gaze, a short smile touched his lips as he proceeded to look at Yata, "How about I beat you to a pulp and become the Uchiha Clan patriarch to marry Mikoto?"

His question stunned everyone as Kai chuckled and continued before taking a sip from his cup, "Ah, sorry about that. I like to use humor when I am 'nervous'."

He certainly did not look nervous.

But Kai wasn't ignorant of political bluffs. Again, Kai only considered politics a genjutsu to control the opponent and why did he even train in genjutsu so much if he couldn't use everything at his disposal to control them.

"Let's back up for a second, it's either your daughter marrying out, way in the future, after losing the core of her abilities and in quite the right disgrace? Some patriarch you are..."

Mikoto frowned slightly, not taking kindly of someone insulting her father like this even if for her. Yet, Kai chimed while looking at Mikoto with a stare so... predatory that stunned her for a second, "I want to marry you even quicker... Mikoto."

"Did you not hear me?" Yata narrowed his gaze.

"He heard it well enough," Tsunade retorted with a cold and flat tone.

"Is there a third option?" Kai questioned.

"No."

Not dejected, he continued, "I see... I cannot agree to any of these conditions. None of them is fair either to me or Mikoto or your clan."

Yata blinked, not expecting such a response. In his eyes, the clan was benefitting greatly, after all.

"How is that the case?" Yata humored the boy. After all, the youth had a standing of his own aside from being the Legacy Guardian as he was the Youngest Jonin, too.

"The clan effectively takes away the sharingan of one of the most talented Kunoichi and risks earning her ire. The clan demands five years of training of our children without even considering that Mikoto may never have a child just for this reason as for having concubines, sure. I have no problem with that."

The thing with most of the 'paranoid' contracts was that it was just so EASY to make everything seem negative. While Mikoto surely knew she wouldn't do any of it, she stayed silent. She may not be open to 'running away' but Kai was actually 'fighting' for her. All she had to offer at the moment was a gratified smile at the thought that Kai at least chose the right method to fight for her.

And, even if Kai wanted to give everyone equal status in his harem save for the Top Dog since equality causes chaos and he thrived in it, Yata didn't know any of it. Letting Yata assume that he was 'wasting' a slot of the condition by asking Kai to not take others as a wife was something easy to achieve.

Yata's expression visibly cramped up.

He had considered all these points but he left them out for a good reason. Now, even if Mikoto wouldn't be considering all this, with Kai stating all this out loud, the thought was embedded in Mikoto at the very least.

Tsunade's smirk widened as she was quick to fan the flames, "It looks like you've got more troubles that a divided front if these really were your conditions. Why don't you escort other Uchiha members to the exit of the village and encourage them to become Rogues?"

Yata snorted and he grew silent in contemplation. He could either persist or changed the demands. He and clan elders had prepared for various circumstances but each shift would make them look weaker. Persisting this time, however, did mean a real chance at making Mikoto resentful of the clan.

'As much as I would love to lay the S-ranked Political Genjutsu...' Kai's brows twitched as he felt his personal storage space getting a storage scroll summoned in, 'Things are about to get interesting.'

Kai's main motive wasn't to instantly get engaged but even if he didn't have experience in bed, he was in a pretty unhealthy relationship and knew that today's talk needed to end in a neutral or positive situation in favor of himself and Mikoto.

Again— you work it hardest the first time.

Yet, as Mikoto's smile grew a bit brighter, she saw Kai going into a daze... like the moments where he would receive information from his shadow clone. Before she could wonder what new thing Kai had sent his clone to train in, everyone's expression changed as a faint explosion echoed.

Everyone was quick to disappear from the room and appear on the roof as they saw a titanic plume of flames spreading out wide...

"That's... a fire release jutsu?" Everyone was stunned. Well, Kai pretended.

He was sure that the killer children would survive this ordeal since he didn't directly attack them but Tsunade didn't wait as she transformed herself into other clothes temporarily and flickered away towards the explosion without adding anything.

"I should leave, too," Kai smiled and looked back. With Mikoto next to him, Kai was quick to lean forward and planted a chaste kiss over her lips, much to Yata's annoyance.

"And Uchiha-san, do think about the situation where it just doesn't make all three parties bitter." Kai snickered and left. He had other motives to consider, after all. He can't be expected to stay here with Mikoto and NOT influence the situation directly. He would feel pretty crappy if nothing came of his actions after going to such an extent.

***

Shoutout to Joakim Buberg, Itachi Asakura, Juraijin1, Matthias Dyminat, and Anon!!

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