Filthy Gamer in Narutoverse

Shinobi, even if not smart, are cautious. The first explosion already made many individuals alert but their senses needed to be diverted to other things to let Sakumo complete his side of the mission. Kai still led the trio to the merchant who arrived in Ame in hopes of making use of the war to jack up the prices... or exact his prices in some other manner. Honestly, many at this point were considering slavery since they couldn't really beat the 'mercenaries' the merchant had on his payroll.

And that's why Yahiko was already freaking out, "I don't want bread! Are you crazy! That bastard has strong bandits!"

'Not bandits, full-blown group of Shinobi,' Kai smirked and laughed loudly, "Fine, you wanna leave then leave. But I'm eating bread tonight. Go back to the dirty trashy dings you came from. Wear those filthy rags. Not me, son!"

He only picked his speed. His bare feet smacked into puddles as his legs themselves left a trail of fuin gas and flash traps. The chakra storage seal absorbed chakra and released chakra at a slow, constant pace but during the extraction, a shinobi can increase the speed by consciously pulling out the chakra stored.

And sure, these gas and flash bombs that will be triggered in the next 2 minutes were not as effective as actual smoke bombs and flash bangs but Kai made up with quality using quantity.

His words, meanwhile, made Yahiko grit his teeth. Even Nagato and Konan who had started eating fresh instead of the stock in their cave that would go bad due to the humid and rainy environment grew a bit resentful... their young hearts spurred by the unfairness of the world and as if a moth attracted to flames, they followed Kai silently into... well, the inferno.

The Merchant was a tricky one. He himself was a human but he must be in cahoots with the Iwa Nin and would be gaining a lot from their escort. That's why Kai wanted this spot to be the second one since the shinobi would be alert, but even more, distracted by the sound of the ensuing battle that had already begun next to the potato stall.

The spot occupied by the merchant was close to the center of the town and the obese one was situated in the caravan instead of some stall built next to a poor and worn shag. The brightly covered caravan honestly stood out but that was the point. It attracted the civilians exhausted by war in a few months. The Bread itself wasn't exposed to the rainy environment and those who entered the caravan, more women than men, returned with slightly uncomfortable and exasperated expressions.

This made their robbing objective even harder as they had to enter the wooden caravan to steal the packets of bread or...

"W-what is that?" Nagato gasped as Cinnamon emerged from Kai's sleeves with a soft hiss.

Kai was certainly amazed that... Nagato didn't fall under the basic illusion as all Yahiko, Chibi, and Konan saw was the interior of the caravan and the breadilicious heaven but not Nagata.

Shrugging as it was too late to change his methods anyway, Kai smirked as another one of him appeared in the form of an earthen clone, "Transformation Jutsu: Everlasting Anaconda!"

Kai's body dispersed in a large plume of smoke as Nagato's expression was stricken with fear when a large pure white snake coiled around the caravan and constricted it before—

*Chkk*

*Chkk*

*Chkk*

As if a porcupine, sharp earthen spears tore out of the anaconda and stabbed into the crushed caravan.

"Ah—" Nagato gasped when Kai held the boy's hand and released the remaining trio from the genjutsu illusion and screamed, "Aahhhhhh! That's a snake! Run!"

Yahiko, Konan, and Chibi were dazed but Kai didn't give them enough time and ran away, causing their expressions to pale and bolt away, too.

"Earth Release: Spiked Dome!"

Another set of earthen spikes tore into the large snake from within the caravan and made the snake coil before poofing away. Yet, all there remained were the crumbling bits of earth.

Four individuals emerged from the caravan, two of them were covered by a rock while the other two had their skins darkened akin to a lump of coal before it shifted to the natural color of their skin.

"Was it them?" One of the four questioned while looking at the back of the running and screaming children, garnering terror from the civilians that weren't paying attention before.

"I... don't sense any large chakra reserve. Even a Jonin cannot suppress chakra that quickly but... Iso is dead. We can't use him as a cover any—" Before the slightly burly shinobi could complete, his expression changed, "There's a—"

A white slash of a blade cut the man's neck cleanly even if there was a layer of rock around his neck as blood gushed akin to a geyser yet the remaining three weren't stunned but rather jumped back and threw a dozen explosive kunai at their teammate whose body hadn't even hit the ground.

*Boom*

"That was—" The thin, childish youth grew pale. His eyes revealed horror as all he managed to see for a second was a stray lock of white hair before his vision spun as his head flew in the air, still not registering his sudden death.

"White Fang!"

The remaining two grew cautious as Sakumo held his shortsword over his shoulder as he smiled, "The one and only." Yet, the smile felt hollow. A smile that gave Sakumo himself a sense of compassion he didn't wish to lose even when killing the enemy.

"Our Village will remember this—" The jonin obviously had the intention to retreat when two figures blurred past the two Jonin. With their sensor dead, they couldn't even register the clones' presence until it was too late.

"Sensors are so very rare... like medic nins. I wonder if I should raise the problem of training medic nins in more than just iryo-ninjutsu to Tsunade... even if useful, they can be a weak link." Sakumo muttered as he didn't dispel the clones. The first clone suggested, more like complained, "Let's just apply for a leave. It feels weird staying away from our son."

"Yeah, the hell were we thinking about entering the Shinobi Academy back then?" The second one pouted as Sakumo's lips twitched and he scoffed, "Get moving. The enemy will be even more alert now and they might attack Kai-kun even if his presence isn't registered with Nagata, Yahiko, and Konan. That's the last key location."

---

"Kai-kun, what was that?" Nagato shouted, already out of breath while Yahiko and Konan still looked fearful. Not even bothering to feign surprise, Kai spun another story. Whether they believed it or not wasn't his problem. In fact, their charitable assistance in the first two locations was already quite good and he could screw the last location alone even if it meant a bit more trouble.

"Well..." Kai frowned before heaving a deep sigh, "I'm a Shinobi."

"What are you talking about? And where's all the bread I grabbed?" Yahiko looked around.

"A... shinobi... then...." Nagato gaped, "W-was that merchant and tailor a shinobi, too?"

"Pfft, no. The Potato lady and the mercenaries with the merchant are shinobi helping the leader of this country to oppress people like us. I've been sent here to help you all and save as many as possible." Alright, well, not a total lie.

"But... my bread..." Konan looked around with a distraught expression, even making Yahiko feel gloomy as his shoulder slumped.

"I have bread!" Kai lied, transforming a Senbon Needle into bread. This wasn't a new technique but just an application of transformation technique to apply to non-living items and thus, never produced any additional skill.

This attracted everyone's attention in the lone alley before it poofed away once more and Kai looked at them sternly, his gaze growing more and more determined, "Apple, Orange, Munchkin, and Chibi! I consider you my dear friends. I want to save you from this place and this war. Please, help me. Instead of stealing and wasting your life... help me help you!"

"It's... Nagato... and thank you," Nagato nodded. He rarely pulled his hair back but he did now and nodded with a sincere and happy smile.

"It's not orange, you bastard! Yahiko! And... tch, why the hell are you saying stupid and embarrassing things?" Yahiko crossed his arms and pouted while averting his gaze with a blush.

"My name is Konan..." The bluenette pouted with a stern gaze but couldn't stop that red flush creeping up her puffed cheeks and squeezed the dress in her hands.

*Woof*

'Yeah, nobody cares, Chibi,' Kai rolled his eyes internally. Such a thing, even with his acting skill, wouldn't have worked on an experienced shinobi but the trio in front of him was far from that and fell into the cooing abyss that was his charm quick enough.

"Fine! We'll help you... but in return, you'll stop teaching us maths and—"

"Ah, no, if you can't do basic maths then you won't go far with basic shinobi stuff. Even Hand seals will make your head buzz." Kai rejected the notion instantly, making Yahiko groan.

"Still... we should get moving. The butcher in the meat store isn't a shinobi but the staff... that boy is one of Hanzo's helpers.

"S-so... you'll kill them?" Yahiko floundered.

"I don't think I can... we'll sneak in, and grab a couple of breasts and legs before running away. Here, let me store them."

Without waiting for any reply, Kai snatched the clothes from them and stored them in a tiny scroll before hiding the sealing scroll under his clothes, making the trio look amazed.

"Woah... you're the real deal!" Yahiko gushed.

"You should have seen Kai-san cloning himself and then turning into a snake..." Nagato added mutedly, making Konan's and Yahiko's eyes almost pop out.

"That was you?!"

Meanwhile, Kai was a little dazed.

'San... did he call me a 'san'? Ah... the power... the respect... I can feel it coursing through my veins... I may not just steal his Kekkei Genkai after all. Fuck dojutsu. A follower with a Dojutsu is way better than getting my own chakra sapped constantly. I already only have a pitiful amount of it.'

"Come on," Kai spoke seriously as he eyed the potential in front of him, "We get this job done. Don't worry... I will protect every one of you."

The trio looked dazed as the presence of the boy in front of him loomed even further in their hearts.

A boss...

They thought internally.

So that's a boss.

---

"Ho... negotiations, is it? And how do you explain my men being killed, my population being poached, and my reputation being dragged through the wet mud of Ame as part of these so-called negotiations."

Tsunade, Jiraiya, and Orochimaru looked at the masked man. The respirator itself made the individual's voice distorted as his long mud-blonde hair reached the length of his waist while his oddly colored eyes— black sclera with light brown pupils— gazed into the trio. He wore a dark cap on his head and a majority of his face was covered by the synthetic respirator with two filters connected at the sides. A long, prominent scar through his right cheek evident despite the gear decorating his face.

"You came alone, Lord Hanzo," Orochimaru smiled instead of replying.

"I'm a man of my word," Hanzo remarked calmly.

"And what about your deal with Konoha? You are openly targeting our men!" Jiraiya rebuked.

"Since when did the meaning of a transaction dilute to a promise? Konohagakure did not match the price from Kumo, Suna, and Iwa. That is all. What else are you willing to offer?" Hanzo inquired.

Orochimaru frowned for a second. Why the hell were they sent here to fight the man if it was only a matter of price? Konoha should have enough wealth to at least sustain years of war...

'Is it really just pride and ego?' He thought silently.

"What do you want to make this situation better?" Tsunade sighed instead and spoke up. If she could avoid this fight with stacks of ryo... then she would even if she had to step over the Hokage's head and pay the man.

"It's not about the matter of money. It was the subject of the last transaction. Konoha needs to pay with either a Byakugan user of the main family, Senju shinobi, or an Uchiha shinobi with his or her Sharingan activated."

The trio froze.

"You bought slaves with Kekkei Genkai..." Jiraiya hissed.

"Naturally. A shinobi village will do well with a good enough number of kekkei genkai users. Of course, I will have to use them as a substitute for the clan recreation program but that's a sacrifice I am willing to make. With enough strength, I'll be able to stabilize Ame and this country. Peace will only be solidified with strength."

Tsunade had a tight frown as Hanzo noticed her disgust and narrowed his eyes.

"Instead of disgust, I would suggest you be cautious... Senju Tsunade. Even I worship Hashirama with only graced by a sight of him once. Senju... and Uchiha. While the latter is practically unobtainable with their clans marking their reproductive systems if caught forcefully and their pride usually making them ignite their suicidal seals, too..."

"But what of Senju. Despite your reputation, you are too lax. If I were the Hokage... I would fear the quality of shinobi produced in the next generation by... Kumo, especially."

Tsunade narrowed her eyes. As the man of repute, Hanzo kept to his words and would protect those he considered his own, in this case, not the country he ruled but the Village Hidden in the Rain.

He would also have an open mind if the reputation is to be believed... and Tsunade couldn't help but agree with it.

'Kumo... huh... did they actually gain something by collecting all the dead Senju they hunted?' Even if not something as restrictive as a slavery seal practiced by the Hyuga or the reproductive system seals belonging to Uchiha... Senju did have a set of seals that would go as far as completely burning their bodies from within and exploding. This was a high-grade seal that did not utilize chakra but a mental command, making the use of sealing the shinobi and their chakra ineffective.

Even Tsunade had this seal on her body in case she ever gets captured by the enemy...

But the thought of Kumo somehow getting something out of these corpses frightened her. No Senju will ever betray the village, so obviously, Kumo had to collect from the dead.

"He's lying," Jiraiya scoffed, "How would you know what's going in Kumo? And I don't believe that any village will hand out their kekkei genkai users."

"Who said they are mine?" Hanzo rebuked softly, "It's a trade yet unfulfilled, that I can tell. And that is why, I am open to negotiations. The promised Kekkei Genkai users will be delivered by the end of the first month of next year."

Tsunade felt a little ominous about this. If no village handed their Kekkei Genkai user... then they will naturally hunt for them and right now, given everything she'd experienced these past couple of years... only one particular red-headed Kekkei Genkai users fit the bill.

'Fuck!'

Tsunade growled internally even if the image of one woman in pure white robes and her red hair tied into two buns barely assured her.

"So?" Hanzo narrowed his eyes, "When should I expect the reply?"

"Now," Orochimaru knew that there would be no way to pay the man and bit his thumb. Jiraiya and Tsunade bit their thumbs open, too, before the trio slammed their palms on the ground.

'Summoning Jutsu!'

A large plume of smoke filtered the area but Hanzo looked unamused. A giant purple snake hissed under Orochimaru. A large red toad wearing a navy blue haori and holding a large knife while blowing his pipe had Jiraiya on top of the summon, and finally, a large whitish slug with three lengths of green mark covering her body supported Tsunade.

A flash of anger did fizzle past Hanzo's gaze when the toad opened its mouth... revealing a large platoon of Konoha Shinobi. Not only that, but many shinobi flickered out from the slug's body' too.

Hanzo scoffed internally. As if numbers meant anything to him.

He silently looked at the snake, expecting one of the largest summon the man had ever witnessed to vomit a bunch of pathetic shinobi, too... but it never did.

"Good thing we didn't force Manda to transport others," Orochimaru smirked as the horned serpent underneath let out a terrifying hiss, "He would have just gobbled them up."

This made Jiraiya's, Tsunade's, and other forces' lips twitch.

***

A/N: For the sake of consistency, I do consider all redheads Uzumaki even if not stated which means, in my eyes, Tayuya and Karui are, too. Not all Uzumaki have to be particularly stellar since they didn't have chakra chains. As for the Kumo part, yeah, consider it a twist or me just enjoying writing it cause the only village to ever produce another Blonde Bombshell in the form of Samui was none other than Kumo... Anyway, I thought I could just put it here and have some fun later with the idea.

Other villages are always trying to get a Senju so even if not perfect or wood-style, I do think that in an ideal, grim naruto world, Senju would have lineages in other villages even if not compliantly but genetically.

And Hanzo part... I don't know. It just fit for me and clued in the Uzumaki destruction nicely enough.

***

Shoutout to Elijah Todd, TheRavenBrand, and Arif!!

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