Fighting to be Kind in a Cultivation World

As I walk into the corridor to the room, it’s clear to see that my new room is at the same place next to Gong’s room, that I had slept in a few times before.

It looks like the changes were mainly making the room bigger, but also a large bed… like larger than King sized bed.

There’s really no good reason to have a bed this large for one pe… ah. I think I get the message now.

Other than the bed there actually are a few pleasant additions, like a dresser and a space near the door where I can work out. It’s even cleared out and labeled, “workout space.”

Strangely enough, from that spot, I can see directly into Gong’s room.

I’m not sure this room is the most private space…

It is at this point, that I notice that there is a higher than average number of transparent lines in this room. Not enough, that I couldn’t sneak past, but just enough to be difficult. Sigh.

Nonetheless, I climb onto the bed, laying on my back.

Man, I really could have died in that fight earlier.

There were so many ways I could have reacted better. Though one thing is for sure. There is a definite line between cultivators and non-cultivators. While I could have used the taming ability earlier, or used my scanning ability to fight better, I don’t think that would have worked well against the cultivator. If anything, I think that would simply make me a target… to either be killed or captured.

Jumping from building to building, even with my escape pattern on for the scanning ability, I still wasn’t able to get away. That makes it even crazier that Gong was able to fight so many of them off. It really is a testament to the amount of work she put into tactics for her spiders. I’ll have to ask her how she managed to get so many spiders there in time.

Before that though, I need to learn to fight. There’s no avoiding it at this point. I have the body to do so, due to the Healing Constitution improving me constantly. I just need the mindset and the actual fighting experience.

I’ll chat with her later tomorrow about it.

Feeling that I should be okay to do the awareness training, I attempt to keep it on throughout my sleep. I close my eyes and await the comforting darkness.

Dancing across my eyes, I can see tiny little legs crawling. Stumbling around, I look into a mirror that appears before me. My eyes gaping holes, bugs within and about. Every orifice gouged and sunken.

Crawling. Gnawing. Eating.

This isn’t my face. This is that man… the one who I ate. Who I had let get eaten.

As I turn around, I finally see me.

Ah.

Now this is me.

All I see is a cloaked figure, a fist clenched and a hand outstretched, shaking… as bugs swarm from his robes. A smile grows as I see eyes inside.

…

I did not sleep well last night.

I felt like I was stuck between being awake and asleep. Constantly on edge.

I couldn’t get that man’s face out of my head. Or his screams.

However, there is a positive note. I did manage to keep my awareness up the whole time.

So. Yay. Small victories.

I start my day with the regular workout, which goes smoothly and shows some improvement. After seeing Gong peeking around the corner, I call out to her.

“Hey Gong? If you’re there, could I ask a favor?” As soon as I spoke, she rushed backwards, but I can sense that she paused when I at the word ‘favor’.

Drifting into the room, she fake stretches.

“Yaaaawwwn. Man, that was a great nap I just had woken up from and walked straight from my room from.”

I give her a look.

I can see her gulp.

I don’t call out her obvious lie.

“Cough. What’s this about a favor you needed?”

I give her a solemn look, which she seems to get the tone of. It is clear she is taking me seriously now.

“I almost died during that ambush.”

She takes a breath and a pause, before speaking.

“So, what are you going to do about it?”

“I wanted to see if you could train me to fight. I need to be used to fighting and being in tense situations.”

I can’t help, but bite my inner lip.

I feel so frustrated about this. Not about telling Gong about this, but about how weak I really am.

All the powers in the world won’t help me if I can’t stay calm and use them properly.

I continue, breaking out of my thoughts.

“I completely forgot everything that could have helped me to deal with that situation. Even as you used your spiders to defend yourself, all I did was run away. I didn’t use insects or any other ability.

“In the end, I was hunted down and punched into a wall. If it wasn’t for the intense fighting you were doing, I would have been tortured and killed, right then…”

I feel my emotions flare up and I struggle to hold them in.

When I manage to push them back down, I continue.

“I actually killed a man, using the method we talked about. They streamed into him. From everywhere.

“…Even now, I can see his eyes being hollowed out as the bugs crawled inside. Hear his muffled dying screams as they entered fucked up places.

“I… just don’t know.”

I meant this to just be a quick request, but this just flowed out of me. I probably should

She stays silent for a minute, after hearing me speak.

Almost as if she was ignoring what I said, she speaks.

“Do you remember the scars that used to be around my belly?”

I’m not seeing where she’s going with this, but I’ll try to see what she’s getting at.

I give her a nod, to continue.

“As you can probably guess, it wasn’t the only time that I had been attacked. I…”

She pauses for a moment, placing a hand over her heart and takes a deep breath.

“I had to learn to defend myself. No one comes to help the spider Demi-humans… not at that point in time, at least.

“So, I had to learn to defend myself. How to escape and use everything I had to survive the situation. I even know what it’s like to have to kill someone and hide their body, so no one knows that you did it.”

Her eyes that seem simultaneously focused, yet not, flicker back to me.

“Even after you get stronger, knowing how to react, run, and fight at a disadvantage will help you to survive things you couldn’t otherwise.” She lets out a sigh after this statement.

“However, we don’t have time to actually go through training, to teach you how to do that. Also, I only know how to fight as myself… a demi-human spider. So, I’m not sure how I can train you in such a short time. While I believe you could heal us of any injuries, what we can’t get back is time.

“I don’t want you to think I’m pushing to the side, we just have that much to do to prepare. I’ve actually been thinking about this for a while now and what we could do to help your situation.”

She gives me a light, but sad smile, which fills me with a strange, little warmth in my chest.

She continues, “What I can do for you is some light sparring in the morning, while explaining things that I look out for when fighting, escaping, or just trying to survive as long as possible. Over time, I believe that this will help you get more used to fighting situations. Be careful though, because I won’t go easy on you… especially since you can heal from injuries instantly.

“I recommend you go out every day, now that most of the large groups won’t be attacking us… as long as you keep that bracelet on. Try to get used to your surroundings and just listen in on how people talk to each other. Mostly, near the central area of the city. That will help you fit in a bit better as well, with that class of people. Stay away from the clans or any cultivators though.

“If you have any questions about something you didn’t understand, either Ai, Lin, or I can always chat later in the night with you.

“Would that be okay with you?”

Wow. That was a really thought-out response.

This is one of the reasons I really appreciate Gong. She really thinks out what she wants to do and is caring to those around her.

I also appreciate that she’s taking the time to do this as well. Especially, with all the changes going around, the planning, and the coordination needed to pull it together. Which lies primarily on her shoulders.

She’s a beast.

Not literally, of course.