Ferdie and the Elementals

I stare at her, mouth agape. "What the hell are you talkin' about!?"

Her glare intensifies. "I have reason to believe that, during your duel with the Elemental of War, you attempted to take her life. That is a direct violation of our pact!"

"What fucking pact?"

"When we first met, you struck a deal with me, a pact -a magical contract and sacred oath- that you swore to uphold."

My mind flashes back to Althea's tower. All those Lawyer Knights and form after form after fucking form. And the big, shining one at the end, with all the glowing ink and sparkles.

"Yeah, I remember now. You told me it was just a vow to protect Astraea until I die or something. You didn't say nothin' about any extra rules."

Althea's expression sours slightly. "I did not think," her strong, beautiful voice shakes with anger and her eyes flicker as she glares at me, "that I would have to tell the God's Hero not to kill the people of the world he is supposed to save!"

I step back slightly. I've never seen Althea become angry. I wasn't even sure she was capable of anger. Now I know.

I don't like it.

"Hero," Althea says, "can you truthfully tell me that you did not try to kill the Elemental of War?"

I think back to the duel. Raelith's chestpiece breaking, exposing the stone at the center of her chest. Me, raising a fist, winding up for the killing blow.

"Uh... No," I say, looking down and away. "No, I can't. I tried to smash her stone, and- and-"

"And you would have killed her, if it were not for our pact."

"Ugh, yeah, maybe. Looks that way."

"Explain yourself. Now."

"I dunno, okay?! I got pissed off and took it too far!" I take a deep breath through my nose and try to swallow my anger. "I'm far from fucking proud of it, but there it is..."

"That's not good enough." Althea takes another step. The tip of her hammer is inches away from my face. "You cannot kill Elementals. We are a vital part of Astraea. We are fundamental to its growth and continued creation. To wound us is to wound Astraea! To kill us is to kill Astraea!"

I sigh. "Alright, alright. Point fucking taken. I won't do it again!"

"You cannot promise that! You do not have control over that power! You are a living sun that flares violently at the slightest provocation! It is only a matter of time before you lose control again, and you end up killing an innocent!"

"I'm not gonna let that happen! I'm startin' to get a grip on my powers, I just need a little more time! "

"And how many more will suffer before you finally 'get a grip'?" Althea turns to Raelith, hammer still pointed firmly at me. "War! Are you not disturbed by the Hero's actions? Will you demand no apology or retribution?"

Raelith, folds her arms and shakes her head. "My duel with the Hero was the most beautiful thing I have ever experienced. It was not supposed to be a battle to the death but..." She smiles and licks her lips, as she begins to stare past us.

Me, Althea, and Zazel just stare at her as her mind apparently takes her to someplace pleasant.

Althea turns her attention to Zazel. "And what say you, Chaos? I suppose you might approve of the Hero's actions, given your constant cynicism toward God's laws and creations. But even you can see how the Hero endangers us with his uncontrollable power. Surely you at least care to preserve yourself, if nothing else."

Zazel scoffs. "The sausage is dangerous, to be sure, but that's exactly why we need him! When the Society does invade Astraea, he'll be the strongest weapon we have to defend the world!"

Althea continues to stare.

"Besides, what do you propose to do? The Hero has stated on multiple occasions that the three of us are necessary to save our world, yes? It's not like we can execute him."

"Of course I'm not suggesting execution, but are you suggesting we should do nothing? Wait until he goes too far and does something irrevocable?"

"I'm not suggesting anything. I'm saying that he has the power and he can do what he wants, so this whole discussion is more or less pointless, in my view."

Althea stares, her jaw clenching.

"And you have to admit," Zazel goes on, "he's the most exciting and interesting phenomenon to ever happen on this world. And I'm actually quite willing to risk getting scattered to the four corners of Astraea for some entertainment and a taste of something resembling freedom."

Althea's gaze intensifies. "Fool! We cannot allow the Hero to use this contemptible power any longer! It taps into the darkest part of the his soul, harms him and threatens to destroy everything else! I refuse to indulge this ongoing display of destruction and masochism for even one more second!"

Zazel looks up for a second, rubbing her chin. "But what about the pact you, the paragon of righteousness and virtue, tricked him into? Surely that would be enough to keep him from committing anything too egregious-"

"I didn't trick him! And I never, ever thought that I would have explain to God's Hero that killing the people he's been commanded to protect is unacceptable! Any one who would agree to pledge themselves to the defense of Astraea would be able to accept the with no issue!"

"I suppose so... But if the pact has the ability to restrain him, there should be nothing to worry about. Brisket will be able to use his powers, and we will not be endangered." Zazel spreads her arms out. "Everyone wins."

"No, no one will win! Do you not remember what happened when we fought that disgusting abomination of yours? The pact magic doesn't prevent collateral or accidental death! And at this rate, it is quite likely that the Hero's power will eventually be able to overcome the pact's enchantment!"

Zazel scowls, "I suppose you may have something that looks like a point, but you'd do well to not insult my babies."

I feel a brief surge of wild energy come from Zazel.

Fuck, they'd better not start fighting.

"Hmph," Althea grunts as she turns back to me. She stares, her eyes flickering; her jaw and lips tight as steel.

I stare right the fuck back. I fucked up bad, but I won't be treated like a fucking monster. It's not my fault. I was thrown into this shit by God just like everyone else, and I'm doing my fucking best to make it all work out.

"So, Hero? Have you nothing to say for yourself?"

I don't break eye contact, not even for a moment. "I don't know what to tell you. I'm human, a fuckin' animal. I can't just flip a switch and make myself stop. "

Althea frowns slightly. "I see." Her tone drops, and her voice becomes more cold and distant.

Judgy bitch. I feel my rage begin to rumble, like an upset stomach threatening hit me with a blast of acid reflux.

"Okay, Althea. First of all, get this shit," I grab and yank her war hammer out of her hand, "out of my fucking face!"

"Hey!" She steps back a couple of paces and blinks it back to her hand, but she stops pointing it at me. The cold, resentful staring continues though.

"Second, you need to fucking chill out with these bullshit expectations! I didn't choose this power, the Hero Pendant forced it on me! I'm doing the best I can with what God gave me! I was just a factory worker trying to keep my head above the water before my psycho ex cut my nuts off and watched me bleed to death! And then God sent me to this flat fucking excuse for a world with nothing but a cryptic prophecy, some vague bullshit instructions, and a pendant that forced me to use my one and only Archetype change to become a fucking Terminator with a sun for a heart! So excuse my motherfuckin' ass if I haven't mastered the darkness in my soul and the concentrated power of a star made of pure rage over the course of four fucking days!"

She blinks, but continues to stare at me, coldly as my voice echos and reverberates off the busted, crater-covered mountain.

Everyone is dead silent. Even the wind stops blowing.

Athea is frozen, but I can see the emotion stirring behind her eyes.

I take a step forward, and swallow some of my own emotion. "And third, you told me you believed in me." I try not to yell. "And you told me that God chose me for a reason. That He wouldn't have chosen me if he thought I was going to fuck everything up. What happened to that?"

"Oh, I see," Zazel cuts in, "our straight and narrow crusader is having a crisis of faith."

I shoot Zazel a shut-the-fuck-up look. She says nothing more, but she keeps the cocky smirk.

"Althea?" I look at her expectantly.

"I am not having issues with my beliefs. I believe in God's choice, even now." Her face softens. "And you're right, Hero. I did say I believed in you. But that was before I witnessed the the enormity of your power, and your equally severe lack of control."

"I told you! I'm working on it!"

"I believe that you are sincere when you say that. I've felt the honesty and convictions behind your words many times over. I know you truly want to protect us and save the Astraea; of this, there is no doubt in my mind."

"So? What's your problem then?"

"It is not my problem -it is yours, Hero. You have been corrupted by something dark, foul, and vengeful. I have felt it since the very moment you first set foot in my domain. It is inside you, and it is growing. It wants to lash out and destroy everything around it. It wants to kill and consume, and it will eventually find a way to overcome the constraints of our pact. Your power will consume you, and then you will consume us all."

"The fuck?!" I growl . "So, what? You think the Hero Pendant put some kind of uncontrollable demon inside me or something?"

Althea shakes her head slowly, almost pitifully, and turns her back to me. "No, Hero. You cannot blame God, the Hero Pendant, the Liberation Society, or even the cruel circumstances of your life on this deep-"

"I told you," I say through my teeth, "I didn't fucking choose this!"

"Perhaps not consciously," Athea's voice is clear, calm, and morose. "Chaos and I both told you that only the Hero can choose his Archetype." Althea turns slightly back toward me, and looks at me through the corner of her eye. "One way or another, you did choose this, Hero."

"Shut up!" I clench my fists. I'm fucking shaking. "You don't know a fucking thing about me!"

"I know enough. But I would like to know more."

"The fuck is that supposed to mean?"

Althea turns back around. "Hero, I will give you just one more chance to honor my request. For the last time, I ask you to confess."

"I already apologized! Raelith doesn't even care, anyway."

"That is not what I mean. When we first met, I said you should give a confession. At first, I thought whatever was addling you had to do with your anger, but your anger is covering up something else. You feel guilt and shame about something that happened in your past. And I suspect it has something to do with the fact that you knew my True Name before we met."

Zazel perks up at this. "Hm. You're more perceptive than I gave you credit for, Order. He knew my True Name beforehand as well, so I have similar suspicions. He may not be lying to us, but the egg knows something we don't."

Althea nods in agreement. "So I ask again, Hero. Confess."

I look back at forth between the two of them. They're serious as a fucking heart attack.

My mind races. I remember the daze I was in when I first came to Astraea. The wonder, the adventure, and the magic. I see the colors, the trees, and the strange and beautiful animals. I remember Althea in her white dress, and Zazel in no dress at all. The hot spring, oh God, the hot spring. There's food, and drink, and weird little potions and spells. And the Dice. Those motherfucking Dice.

I remember the mountain. Not as it is, but as it was: a giant, towering death trap. I was careless and cocky. I'd spent too much time drinking and fucking and not enough time planning and training. And everyone paid the price.

The two truest friends I had ever had, the two people in my life who had never let me down even once. Even Mom and Dad, who I loved with all my heart, couldn't claim a perfect record. But I lead Althea and Zazel to their deaths because I didn't take responsibility and too the easy way by relying on the Dice too much.

I can hear God's admonishment in my head again; pounding my soul with the force of His divine indignation. I had been given one of the greatest rewards a man could ask for: a meaningful life. But I pissed it away like cheap booze after a shitty party.

OH, ARE YOU FEELING SORRY FOR YOURSELF, YOU LITTLE SACK OF DOGSHIT? MAN THE FUCK UP!

"Shut up! Shut up! Shut the fuck up!"

I look around, and he see dark blurs and shapes all around me. "Hey! Yo, this isn't-" I'm breathing hard and fast, trying to figure out what is going on.

The streaks and blobs coalesce and become clear and whole. Althea, Zazel, and Raelith stare at me with unease and concern on their faces.

"Hey," I say, trying to calm myself down.

"Are you quite alright?" Zazel steps forward and peers into my eyes.

I step back and wave my hand in front of her face. "Yeah, I guess. I think. I dunno."

Althea's face is a mixture of pity and disgust. "Hero, you must confess. This cannot continue. You must-"

My fists clench. "I told you, there's nothing to confess!"

"You continue to deceive yourself. You cannot hide from your sins."

"Fuck you! I've done nothing wrong! Nothing! I'm a fuckin' victim in all this!"

I feel my rage creeping up fast. But Althea relaxes and backs off. She turns away from me again, facing toward the plains, under the mountain, now bathed in the dim blue-grey light of a cloudy, early morning sky.

"Hero, if you do not wish to confess, I cannot make you."

"Yeah, you got that right..."

She is quiet for a moment, and she hangs her head slightly. "If that is how you feel, then," she takes a deep breath. "Hero, from this moment on, I relieve myself of duty as a guide to God's Hero."

My jaw drops. "What?"

Zazel scoffs and Raelith shakes her head.

"I have decided to return to my domain," she says, her voice is calm, but a little shaky.

"You're just gonna take off? What about about the Society? God said we need Chaos and Order!"

"Indeed. And when the time comes to fight the invaders, I will come to your aid. I will not abandon my duty to maintain the order of Astraea, but I cannot be at your side any longer."

"Wha- what do you mean? You promised to help me fight the Limp Dicks!"

"Yes, and I will honor that promise, and fight at your side against the Liberation Society, when they come. But I will not journey with you anymore.

"Why? Why the fuck not?!"

She spins around. "Fool! It is because you are more of a danger to us than anything else! At this rate, we are more likely to be killed by you than the Society or any other threat! You cannot contain your power or the darkness in your heart!" She turns back around. "And it pains me to see you suffer like this! This is goodbye, Hero!"

I stand in utter disbelief. I'm frozen, and I'm not even sure if what is happening before me is truly real. I can do nothing but stare as Althea hops back inside of Sir Biscuit and marches back down the mountain.

"Yo, wait!" I yell after her. I take a step, and feel Zazel's hand on my arm.

"Let her go. There's nothing more to be said."

I yank my arm away. "The fuck are you doing? We gotta go after her! I can't fucking lose her!"

"And what would you do? Tie her up and carry her back to the house? She's clearly not going anywhere with you."

"Yes," Raelith nods. "Besides, I don't want to fight alongside a coward who is afraid of her own allies."

I stare down the mountain, watching as the golden suit of armor gradually disappears into the thickening fog below. With every second, my anger builds and builds and builds and builds and-

"AAAARRRHHGGGHH!" I strike out a nearby boulder, shattering it into a million fucking pieces with thunderous concussive blast. "GOD! FUCKING! DAMMIT!"