LIGHTNOVELONLINE C82 Winters Crescendo
Where am I? Mama! Papa! Auntie!
I screamed out into the darkness, utterly surrounded by the dark.
Mama! Papa!
I aimlessly ran forward. The sharp inhale and exhale of a girl in distress echoed in my ears with my heartbeat.
Auntie!
I cried out.
Somebody, anybody!
I was afraid and wanted dearly to see any familiar face I could call out to in this sudden darkness.
Mama- ah?
I stumbled as I attempted to stop, my chest still heaving in a panic. What stopped me was a sudden face coming from the dark.
Papa!
He stood in front of me, looking away as I slowly approached now.
Papa?
My little girl, won't you join us?
?
I was confused as he remained unmoving. I continued walking to his side and then to his front only to be tossed to the ground in fear.
Won't you join us?
His voice took a guttural tone now, wet and gurgling.
That's not-
The man that slowly knelt towards me wasn't Papa, but a beast that looked as if it morphed from him. A monstrosity of flesh and blood. Its head looked like that of the monster Papa and Sarah fought before.
Join us Ki-ki.
Another voice spoke out as a hand grabbed my shoulder from behind.
Sis?
Another.
Join us.
Auntie Sarah?!
Each figure slowly emerged from the darkness as if it were a strange black fluid whilst a strange sharp scent filled the air.
Join us. Join us. Join us. Are you not alone? Alone. Alone. Us- Join us- Join us-
My family members, the retainers of the family, the guards. A hoard of ghoulish clones of all who'd died engulfed me.
No! Nooo! Mama! Papa! Sis! Goro!-
My screams pierced out into the air, echoing off of the inky borders of reality. They were bloodcurdling screams no child should ever have to emit, the same I heard that night. And right now, in fear, in the face of what I thought was a horrifying death as hand after hand dragged me under the inky black floor of this dream.
Aunty- Bjorn- anybody!
GASP
I quickly sat up, the height of the tree roots around me just short enough to see over.
Ha- ha-
I gulped.
ha
I was panting heavily, my spine tingling and my heart racing from the nightmare I had just escaped.
"Where- How did I- ah."
It took a moment for the sound of flowing air and birds to remind me what exactly I was doing until late in the night.
Running… I was running. I must have passed out here while resting.
I looked around myself and took in the environment. I was alone, frightfully so. Isolated within a great forest far from home, with not a person in the world left to worry for me.
Hungry…
My stomach turned, and the pain of hunger set in. Holding my stomach, I slowly stood with Wyrms tooth in hand whilst my sore legs protested from fatigue. Walking was uneventful but pressured. I knew that if I didn't keep moving, I might be caught. But all the same, I couldn't bring myself to run either.
Alone… all alone…
My mind rotated around thoughts like that. The reality of yesterday's events set in with a calm mind unperturbed by fight or flight.
Papa… Sarah…
The two freshest losses in my mind revolved in my head as the day passed. Sobbing and uncontrollable whaling fits came and went as I was allowed to mourn in solitude. The worse of it all was I wanted a shoulder to lean on. I wanted my Papa, Auntie, Mama, or anyone I could even recall as a friend. Even Goro's scaly hide would be a preferable haven to the cold sword that I hugged tightly.
Water.
Alongside the hunger, thirst was driving me. My throat cracked as I attempted to swallow whatever spit I could produce.
Keep walking.
I have to keep walking.
A voice echoed in my ear, forcing me to look up from the ground in front of me. Each way I looked I saw more forest. Not an animal, structure, or person in sight; just the trees.
There's no one here…
I did as I thought, brushing the voice aside.
I have to move, I can’t be caught in that dream. Remember Papa’s words. Papa’s words.
Hours passed as I walked. Pain stacked as hunger and thirst ate at me with the passage of time, and the reality of my predicament ate at my morale.
No one is coming to save me, haha.
Grass gave way underfoot and each tree served as a momentary post for me to lean against and gather my strength. My body protested as the breeze was absent and my body simply shed moisture as I carried Wyms-tooth within my arms and the satchel over my shoulder.
I could shed this weight at any moment. I could get a little bit further, right? Mama could run for a long time, and so could big brother and sis.
I was the youngest, and with that, I kept aside from ever handling things that Mama and Papa wanted me to avoid. They just made me practice mana break, only ever mana break. I was supposed to be Mama’s ‘safe child’ or whatever that meant. Mama allowed everyone time to practice with swords or magic. But she kept me at home, only ever asking dedication of me when it came to meeting her advisers. The little troublemaker that tried at every end she could to garner some other attention than being coddled.
Did you want me to take a different path?
Tears gushed forward as I walked, precious water flowing forth and worsening my predicament. I tried to distract myself, to think of moving forward, to give a point to the loss. All my weak little mind could do was wallow though. Every attempt, every roundabout way I could think, it all circled back.
Mama’s plan failed, I’m sorry. And of all to be left, it's me. Heh… Hah.
“Hahahah! Haha- ha- whe- hnn-”
Again, the tears.
It was finally past the morning, probably lunch by how the sun’s location. My free hand shielded my eyes as I kept the sun just out of view while I looked up. I was standing on a bridge in the middle of nowhere. I great river split the forest in two, large enough to sail a small ship. The bridge was just tall enough to allow passage underneath its center and I stood here to soak in the only breeze I’d felt all day. I would have drank from the water to quench my thirst, but with my luck, I was sure some monsters must have found a home within. Wood planks creaked as I continued, the sword making an audible ‘thunk’ behind me as I dragged it by the grip.
‘She will help you’… Papa, I’m alone.
I looked about as I reached the end of the bridge, my hand planted against one of its end posts.
I think this was one of the places Papa talked about. They said something about a bridge. We hadn't crossed one in over a week or two. I must be headed the right way.
Moving from the bridge, I found myself wandering at this point. All I knew was to head south in some vague hope I’d stumble across someone, anyone. I crept into the woodline, using the trees as shade as long as I could manage. The wildlife around me was lively, almost as it were when back home. Amongst all this was my breathing and the sound of foliage breaking.
Tired.
I stopped at some point, unable to continue for all manner of reasons.
Press on.
Once more? I’m hearing things. Is that you, Solah?
Silence.
I shrugged aside the thought under raspy breathing and nausea that came and went once more. My body attempted to void my stomach for a moment, only for me to dry heave and spew forth spit. Looking up, a cleaning broke apart the sea of trees that turned my surroundings into a blur.
Press on for what? I’m alone! I wanna-
I whimpered as I silently protested.
Papa’s words, forward. Forward. Keep moving for Papa and Aunt-
Everything went black with one step as my legs gave way.
It's dark, did I pass out? Is it nighttime?
I thought but for a moment I’d simply slept until nightfall until my voice echoed within a small space once more.
Join us.
“No! No! No no no no no, not again- ah!”
The faces rushed forth from the dark.
Join us!
It’s cold without you.
Aren’t you alone?
Kiyomi!
End it.
Lay down, let us take you.
Kiyomi~
Beastly maws flashed randomly to reveal the faces of each and every person that I’d seen pas before me. My brother, my sister, all of my half-siblings, auntie Sarah, and Papa. The walls retracted back to reveal the walls of our keep as fire danced along the stone walls. Pelts and wood lined the surface, feeding the growing fire as it closed in on the melting figures.
The blood of the Wyrm ends with you, Kiyomi. The binding of your story is but one page of reality, girl. Tear your page from this reality and you may know this embrace.
A guttural voice echoed out in the distance apart from the ghouls that surrounded me.
Won’t you come back to me?
The shadow of mother spoke.
We are all here, you need only join us.
Father.
We would only grant you comfort.
Sarah.
Will you yield? Or rebel for only a breath or two more alone? Why delay what you know will come?
My big sister, Danae.
Kiyomi, you need only lay forward! Come to us, come to us, and be embraced.
I can be with them, it's not them but I’m so afraid. Ah…
My screams of terror died out as time passed with each word. My desperation overtook reason as it were. As the nightmare continued I weighed the words in some hope it would abruptly end. That it would end and I’d wake up next to the tree I just rested against.
I don’t want to be alone, to be scared. I-
I leaned forward as my words echoed, the figures holding their arms outward as if they were waiting for me to fall forward into their arms.
I don't have to be alone…
A strange dull pain soon overcame me as the voice that pushed me onward made itself known once more.
“Are those truly the thoughts you harbor child?”
I blinked in surprise and within moments I was back in the forest, my hands feeling as if they were clamped around Wyrms-tooths blade.
“Who-”
A towering figure stood in front of me, obstructing and view of the clearing from before. An oni woman standing taller than most men. Raven black hair served to adorn her head, unkempt and wild as if it were waves within a stormy sea. Two small black horns protruded from her bangs, serving to crown her head as they turned to a dull red at their base to match her skin tone. And alongside this, a stern and mature face stared down at me with an almost complete lack of emotion.
Solah…
I’d never seen this woman before, but I knew she was the exact image of who I least expected to show themselves. The Goddess, Solah. And with this, she looked at me as if she awaited a response. Her brows furrowed as if she witnessed something that troubled her.
“Will you go through with it?”
She asked aloud once more, looking from my face to Wyrm’s tooth. Looking down at myself, I only now just realized what I was doing. I wasn't laying on the ground as I figured I would have been. I was hunched forward, my legs wavering as I held something heavy ahead of myself.
What was I doing?
My hands felt as if a blade pressed against them because one did. Wyrm’s-tooth was clamped o hard within my grasp that my hands were becoming pale from the effort. It was not being held outward as if to ward something off. The sword was being held with its tip planted firmly into my clothes. Had I chosen to lean forward in this one moment, there was no doubt I would have run myself through.
I was just… resting. But- The dream. Was it a dream? Or was this what I wanted?
I suddenly loosed my grip from Wyrm’s-tooth, the blade dropping to the ground as I did. I slumped back against the tree, my legs fully giving way as I slid to the ground and landed upon the satchel I apparently took off.
Ending it so I could be with them again…
“It seems not, thank you.”
She squatted in front of me, touching Wyrm’s-tooth with but a finger and instantly summoning the sheath back onto the weapon as if it was never tossed aside. She looked into my eyes after doing this, the same furrowed brows unwavering as she did.
“Why?”
I asked, still shocked at the turn of my own thoughts and urges. This question did nothing more than worsen her expression as her lips trembled along their edges. She looked down soon after, unable to look into my reddened eyes nor face that was surely covered in dirt and dried blood.
“Why now? Why did you have to wait for me to be alone?”
Silence.
“Why couldn't you help Mama? Why couldn't you help them?!”
Continued silence, the quivering of her lips worsening as she squinted at the ground.
“What about Auntie?... How about Papa?! You talked to him right?!”
My weakened voice suddenly exploded in tone, anger suddenly rushing forth. The figure known as Solah, for some reason squatting in front of me and clasping her hands together.
“Why?!”
I yelled at her, frustration warming my face as my blood rushed through me.
“Were it so simple to give you an answer… I’d endeavor to give it to you, I would. I would take these events back given I could.”
Her eyes closed, a momentary shudder escaping with her words.
“I could always see you, but I could not come to you until you crossed that bridge. Chil-”
She paused.
“I am sorry, Kiyomi. Bare this pain for me, I beg of you.”
She opened her eyes, looking back into my own once more.
“I could only intervene so much.”
I slowly clambered to my feet, my frustration outweighing my fatigue.
“Bullshit! You just keep talking as if you were actually here! Is that what you did for them? For Papa?! I heard his ramblings!”
I forced my hand forward as if to strike at someone that wasn't there, only to have it stop in place. She caught my hand, affirming her presence.
“I am. I intend to amend my inaction.”
Her concern faded, replaced with what appeared to be anger. She stood, my fist still in hand as she looked down at me.
“What of being alone? Do you think your family would want you to give in? Would you want the same of your mother should she be here instead?”
She asked in a demanding tone.
“But what can I- I can’t do anything. I don’t want to disappear… But what can I do for them? I’m lost, with no one to go to.”
I attempted to bite my lips at the edges to keep them from curling inward.
“What… what do you expect of me? To show yourself after everything, and show me you're here. Shouldn't I hate you? Why should I care for what you say?”
My eyes were sore, and my tears must have tried to flow but were halted at this rate for the same reason I shook still. Exhaustion, dehydration, hunger. Solah looked to the ground beside us for a moment, then to the sky, remaining silent.
“What is it you can do to reverse this? Are you going to handhold me to some backwater village? Because I doubt it.”
I continued in spite of her words, expecting the conversation to go nowhere as I took out my frustration. With those words though, an answer came.
“Someone else can, they will be better for you than any caretaker I could call upon.”
Solah kneeled in front of me, her eyes locked back to mine.
“You’ll understand one day, Kiyomi. I will leave you in the care of someone that can shape that pain for you. They will temper your heart… I can only do this if you accept this.”
She paused, closing her eyes momentarily and reopening them.
“Your pain will end, and so to your loneliness. And when you awaken from their care you will be stronger than you could have ever imagined. Gone will be the girl whose mother destined her for safety behind walls and keeps. Gone will be the child who dreamt of tales and scurrying about with her fellow pups. Do you understand?”
My teeth relented as I was overcome with confusion and my expression took form.
“No, I don’t… But, what difference will it make?”
I asked, anger and sadness mixing together to create a tone I was unaware my voice could take. Solah raised her hands, placing her left on my shoulder and her right on my head.
“In everything. This will hurt, I apologize for that.”
“What do you mean?”
Those two words were the last she spoke from her mouth as she refrained from answering. Everything that followed echoed within my mind as if they were the words from before, the same as Papa undoubtedly experienced.
The paths shall converge as the soul awakens. Gone is the blur between reality and purgatory. In place of one unfinished dream, one, reawakened shall take control. To guide, to teach, to learn, to prosper. Sleep child, forget the pain you now know.
???
Walk.
With what felt like a command, my body rose without hesitation and moved forward. Solah stood aside, allowing me to pass as I approached the clearing. Warmth flooded my limbs with each step alongside a strange piercing pain within my head. I wanted to scream from the pain, let alone the confusion of my body moving against my will. My senses increased in intensity to an extreme degree as It occurred, sound, sight, and smell. Everything was processed in the extreme for those few seconds. The sun was as bright as if I were in a scorching desert, the feeling of the placid air suddenly was that of a breeze, and the smell of plants and the soil was now as if I were planting my face to the soil itself, and-
Iron?
The taste of blood filled my mouth as a rush of warmth flowed from my nose and passed over my lips. Enough so that it seeped enough into my mouth to make itself evident.
Stop.
My body halted almost instantly, only my tail moving still as It whipped about from the sensations. I could hear her behind me, the loud ringing thud of steel being tossed to the dirt along with the sound of a bag being tossed beside it. My hold on my body returned immediately after as I dropped to my knees. I looked back the way I came and there she stood, arms crossed as if she was surveying her work.
No hiccups. Good… This- this is all I am permitted to do. I am sorry, truly.
For the first time since seeing her, Solah frowned.
I hope that the next time we speak, it is on good terms… Sleep
“Urp- blegh-”
What the fuck was that?! Like- What the fuck even was that?!
I was on my knees huddled over the toilet to the stay-in quarters. I was puking my brains out in reaction to possibly the most surreal experience I could ever recall to this point. It terrified me, for no other reason than the fact that I could recall every moment of it still. Each step, each word, each thought.
It's like I was actually there. It’s almost photographic in recollection.
I held out one of my hands as the other held me up against the toilet. My hand was trembling to the point I was sure I couldn't write my name straight if asked to.
“You've gotta be fuckin kidding me.”
Knock knock
The sound of someone's knuckles rapping against wood echoed out in the small bathroom.
“Kiyomi, that language is a bit creative for that age. Maybe not say that one word?”
I nearly jumped out of my skin at the voice of the man behind me, clamping my grip down on the toilet seat as I turned to face him.
“A-ah, sorry Uncle Callum.”
I shrunk down a bit, looking away in slight shame.
“Forget it, you up for some serious work?”
Work?
I looked back up to see Callum smiling as if he had some sort of a surprise in store. I wiped my mouth with my forearm, cleaning the spittle from my mouth.
“What do you mean?”
Callum nodded behind him before answering, his smile growing wider.
“Let’s gather your friends first, I’ll tell you along the way.”