Fantasia

Leander ate breakfast at a café in the city. He had chosen to take the first shuttle out of the company campus rather than attempt to eat in the cafeteria given the disastrous results of the previous evening and Lacey’s unrelenting inquisitiveness.

 

His phone buzzed with an email from his manager.

Hey, Leander,

Thanks for all your hard work over the last few weeks! Now that everything’s calmed down, I booked this week off for you. Enjoy your break!

-Lina

 

Leander frowned. Having uninterrupted time to worry and brood was the last thing he needed right now.

Before he could send a reply to refuse the vacation time, he remembered Leah’s advice for him to leave Arwyn alone for a few days. He supposed that applied to Fey in Fantasia as well.

 

He drained his coffee and stood to leave. He would take the week off from Fantasia, find something to occupy his thoughts, and hold on to the slim hope that Leah’s advice was correct, that Arwyn would get over her shock and return his feelings.

 

***

 

Arwyn got home from work in silence, her actions on autopilot as she changed out of her business clothing.

She sat on her bed for a moment, contemplating her evening. Heat up leftovers for dinner, then… Go to bed?

 

Her phone buzzed.

 

Leah: I’m here. Let me in.

 

Confused, Arwyn went to her front door, finding her best friend waiting with a bag of takeout.

Leah entered without waiting for an invitation, taking off her shoes and finding her way to the kitchen with the ease of long familiarity.

Arwyn trailed behind her friend, watching Leah unpack the food and lay it out on the dining table. After a pause, Arwyn went to collect cutlery.

 

Leah handed Arwyn a box of fried noodles. “Eat.”

Arwyn was not about to refuse free noodles. She dug into the carb-filled container. Leah applied herself to her own food and they sat in companionable silence for several minutes.

 

Leah stopped eating about halfway into her container, her daily caloric needs considerably lower than Arwyn’s[i]. “Keep eating and listen,” she ordered, pointing her chopsticks at her friend.

Arwyn meekly put another mouthful of noodles into her mouth and listened.

 

“Now, you’re really slow, and that’s usually okay. However, I can’t let you [bleep] up this thing you have going with angel dude.

“I could tell you a bunch of things, but they’re all going to make you blank out like you’re trying to do right now. So I’m just going to say one thing: You really hurt Leander’s feelings.”

 

“…No,” Arwyn protested, fighting the mental block to really listen.

 

“Yes. I told him that you’re just kind of an idiot and that you’ll eventually get over yourself and go back to being your usual brand of weird, but I could tell he didn’t really believe me. He thinks that because you thought he was an NPC, you were just playing around and don’t care about him at all.”

“That’s not true!”

“I know that.” Leah pulled out a slip of paper. “This is his cell phone number.” Leaving it on the table, she packed up her food before heading back to the front door.

 

Arwyn trailed after her friend silently, mind in turmoil as her calm blanket of denial was ripped apart by the reality that her inaction was hurting the last person she wanted to hurt.

Leah straightened after putting on her shoes and patted her taller friend on the head, eyes full of sympathy and understanding. “I’d feel sorry for you, but, you know, the guy of your dreams is real and into you.”

“Thanks, Leah.” Arwyn felt a rush of gratitude for Leah’s pragmatic meddling.

 

“I’ll tell Blade and Mimi you’re busy for the next few days. Try to sort this out before you fall behind in level, ‘kay?”

“Uh huh…” Arwyn agreed weakly.

 

After Leah left, Arwyn drifted back to the kitchen and the inconspicuous slip of paper that represented the complete upturning of the life she was used to.

 

Do I… Call? Text? Arwyn had never been given someone’s personal number indirectly like this.

She shook herself, well aware that her mind was becoming preoccupied with phone etiquette in order to avoid thinking about the real issue at hand.

 

Arwyn sat and toyed with the paper, repeatedly rolling it up and flattening it while she thought.

 

She had always known she was poor at handling unexpected situations, but her life experience was sufficient that she was rarely as completely lost as she was right now.

 

Arwyn had never expected to be involved in a romantic relationship. It was not that she wanted to be single forever, but she had understood that it was statistically almost certain given her personality and habits.

She did not consider herself unattractive, but she was no great beauty. She had somewhat niche interests and disliked many things. She could also be abrasive, uncompromising, and have unreasonably high standards. Coupled with her tendency to avoid talking to strangers if at all possible, her chances of meeting someone to build a relationship with dropped to basically zero. She had accepted that fate rather than attempt to change her behaviour, realizing it would increase the chances to only slightly more than zero. She had built a self-sufficient life with friends she could trust and hobbies she enjoyed.

 

Leandriel was the first person she had ever fallen in love with. The sensation was somewhat different than she had imagined, somehow more casual, yet more complex. There was affection, vulnerability, yearning, and pain.

Thinking him the product of artificial intelligence and some game developer’s unrealistic imaginings, she had grieved what never was, then come to a new emotional equilibrium. She had not ‘gotten over’ the angel, but she had accepted that she would only ever see and talk to him in her dreams.

 

Now… She shook her head violently to ward off the brain freeze. She needed to figure this out, because Leander the man deserved better than blank silence.

Leander… She did not know how much he might differ from his in-game personality, but there was a lack of pretense to him that made her suspect that he would be exactly the same in real life.

 

Arwyn winced at how uneven their relationship had been. Even before the current debacle, she saw that he had always taken the initiative to talk and meet, provided her with so much help and advice, while she had tried to avoid him to protect her emotions. She knew him to be deeply reserved, that his efforts had likely been uncomfortable to force himself into, but he had done it anyway. Between her withdrawn behaviour and her spectacularly cringe-worthy reaction to meeting him in real life, no wonder he thought she was just playing around.

 

Arwyn fetched her phone. She needed to talk to him. She had no idea what she was going to say – other than repeated apologies – but he deserved much better than her awkward avoidance.

 

Arwyn: Leander? This is Arwyn, or Fey. Leah (Sirena) gave me your number.

 

Seconds, then minutes, then hours passed with no reply.

Disheartened, Arwyn prepared herself for a no-doubt sleepless night.

 

***

 

Leander glanced at his wrist when his cell phone buzzed with multiple notifications as his plane landed and taxied to a gate. After a day of avoiding Lacey at all costs, he had decided to flee the country and visit his mother at the same time.

He sighed as the phone continued to vibrate; clearly Lacey had not let up on the torrent of text messages asking about the events of New Year’s Eve.

His attention sharpened again when the vibration pattern changed to indicate a message from a number not in his contact list. Scrolling past Lacey’s messages, he came across a number with his local area code.

 

Leander? This is Arwyn, or Fey. Leah (Sirena) gave me your number.

 

Several hours later:

Sorry if this is a wrong number.

 

Leander swore with heartfelt vehemence. The first text had come within minutes of his plane’s take-off six hours ago.

He rapidly did the calculations. Based on Fey’s typical login time, she would be asleep now. He sent a reply anyway.

Leander: Arwyn, this is Leander. My apologies for the slow reply; I was on a plane.

 

To his surprise, she replied almost immediately.

Arwyn: Oh, good to know. I was a little worried that the message was never read.

Arwyn: Can we talk? Call, I mean.

 

Leander’s fixed concentration on his phone was interrupted by the flurry of activity associated with disembarking the plane. He extricated himself as quickly as possible and replied.

Leander: It is quite noisy here, but I can call you when I am out of the airport.

Arwyn: Okay, let me know when you’re out.

 

Suddenly, the busy bustle of the airport was irritating beyond belief. Leander grit his teeth and got through the interminable lines and checkpoints before retrieving his luggage and hailing a self-driving taxi to take him to his mother’s residence.

Finally alone, Leander put the call through. Arwyn’s face appeared on the phone’s projected screen. He took a moment to absorb her appearance. Her features were somewhat softer than her game avatar’s, accentuated by dark-framed glasses. Her black hair flowed unbound below the view of the screen. She wore a simple gray zip cardigan with a red tank top underneath.

“Hello,” he said, a strange echo of the countless PM conversations they had had in Fantasia.

“Hi.” Her voice was the same. Very difference was her lack of a smile and her difficulty making eye contact.

 

Before he could say anything else, a torrent of words began.

“I’m really sorry. But, um, when we first met, you were already an angel when the highest player level was like 17 and you were also…” an inaudible murmur before the sentence continued, “…so I just assumed you were an NPC.” She took a deep breath and looked up to meet his eyes. “But that doesn’t mean I was playing around with you or role-playing someone I’m not or anything like that. I really…” An embarrassed pause where she looked down again. “…like you.”

 

Just like that, Leander’s turbulent emotions settled, then began rising in euphoria. Arwyn’s embarrassment became incredibly cute to him. “Arwyn,” he said gravely, though he could feel a foolish smile pulling at his lips, “I like you, too.”

He caught a glimpse of an embarrassed flush before the image on his screen tilted abruptly and he was granted the view of a blank, white ceiling.

“Um, so, I’m really bad at this kind of stuff and have zero experience in anything like this, so… bear with me, okay?”

As long as Leander knew his feelings were reciprocated, he could wait. “Of course. I am new to this as well.”

Arwyn reappeared on screen to give him a narrow-eyed look. Her hair was noticeably mussed, as if she had been lying down. “No way,” she said in disbelief.

Leander was rather taken aback. “Is it so hard to believe that I have never been involved in a romantic relationship?”

“Yes. You’re unbelievable enough as it is without having somehow made it to this age without ever being in a relationship.”

“Does that not also apply to you?”

“No. I’m annoying and antisocial.”

Leander did not know how to react to such a blunt appraisal of her own negative qualities. “Well, I assure you, I am by no means perfect.”

“Ha!” Arwyn disappeared from view again, only to return a second later, expression more composed. “Sorry. Didn’t mean to yell at you. I’m… going to be weirder than usual.”

“That is all right,” he assured her. It was somewhat comforting to know that Arwyn felt as emotionally off-balance as he did.

Another silence, this one feeling comfortable rather than awkward.

“So, will I see you in Fantasia later?” Arwyn asked, her voice sounding small and cute in a way he was not expecting.

Leander resisted the urge to turn the taxi around and head straight back home. He had already told his mother he was visiting. “I am currently in a time zone five hours ahead of yours, so not tonight, but a little in the early nights. I will be back next week.”

“Okay.” A pause. “I should go to bed,” she said reluctantly.

It was well past midnight in Arwyn’s time zone. “I have been keeping you up. My apologies.”

Arwyn shook her head. “I wasn’t sleeping much anyways.” Another pause. “Well, good night.”

“Sweet dreams.”

 

Leander should have felt the dragging exhaustion of jet lag as his biological clock insisted he should be sleeping, but he found himself facing the morning sun with cheerful energy.

 

***

 

“Aaaaahhhhhh…” Arwyn rolled around restlessly on her bed, still holding her phone, finally understanding the nervous energy that prompted anime characters to do such a stupid thing.

She had inadvertently confessed her feelings, and Leander had returned the sentiment.

“Ahhhhhh!” she continued, punching a hapless pillow in agitation.

Eventually, she ran out of breath and had to stop. She was still for approximately ten seconds before she started rolling around again. She was going to be exhausted in the morning, but there was no way she was going to be able to fall asleep.

“Sweet dreams.”

“Ahhhhhh!” The sound went on and on, showcasing an impressive amount of breath control.

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[i] Daily caloric expenditure is affected by factors such as age, height, weight, sex, and activity level